ifferf 


* 


IRON  COUSINS 


"He  wants  wit,  that  wants  resolved  will 
To  learn  his  wit  to  exchange  the  bad  for  better—" 

Two  GENTLEMEN  OF  VERONA. 


IRON  COUSINS 


BY 

MRS.    ALFRED    SIDGWICK 

Author  of 

"SALT  OF  THE  EARTH,"  "THE  DEVIL'S  CRADLE," 
etc. 


NEW  YORK 
W.  J.  WATT  &  COMPANY 

PUBLISHERS 


COPYRIGHT,  1919,  BY 
J.  WATT  &  COMPANY 


IRON  COUSINS 


I  WAS  brought  up  by  my  Aunt  Susan.  I  could  not 
remember  much  about  my  father  and  mother 
because  they  sent  me  back  to  England  when  I 
was  five  and  remained  in  India  themselves  until  they 
died,  a  year  or  two  later.  Aunt  Susan  was  my 
mother's  only  sister  and  her  name  was  Darrell.  My 
father's  name  was  Danvers  and  Aunt  Susan  told  me 
when  I  came  to  years  of  discretion  that  his  people  had 
disapproved  of  his  marriage.  I  naturally  asked  why. 

"The  Danvers  had  money  and  we  had  none,"  said 
Aunt  Susan.  "They  objected  to  us  and  I  objected  to 
them.  I  was  as  anxious  to  prevent  the  marriage  as 
they  were,  but  nothing  could  be  done." 

She  sighed. 

"What  happened?"  I  asked. 

"They  ran  away  together,"  she  said  under  her 
breath.  "It  was  very  wrong." 

"I  don't  see  anything  wrong  about  it,"  I  argued. 
"What  else  could  they  have  done  ?" 

"Waited;  or  given  each  other  up." 

"I  don't  think." 

Aunt  Susan  looked  at  me  suspiciously.  I  was  not 
allowed  to  use  slang  and  as  a  rule  I  obeyed  the  law, 

2031702 


2  IRON   COUSINS 

but  sometimes  the  argot  of  the  moment  will  say  more 
in  three  words  than  a  well  turned  phrase  would  in 
twenty.  Every  generation  discovers  this  and  Aunt 
Susan  herself  had  told  me  that  when  she  was  at 
school  she  had  been  fined  for  telling  another  girl  at 
croquet  to  paddle  her  own  canoe. 

"I  should  love  an  adventure,"  I  went  on  rather  hur- 
riedly. "If  I  had  been  born  a  hundred  years  ago  I 
would  have  been  married  at  Gretna  Green." 

Aunt  Susan  dropped  the  subject  and  went  on  with 
her  knitting.  She  never  encouraged  talk  about  love 
and  marriage  and  I  had  grown  up  without  thinking 
over-much  of  either.  I  had  been  to  a  day-school  and 
made  some  friends  there,  but  when  I  left  school  I 
could  not  go  out  into  the  world  because  my  aunt's 
means  were  small.  We  lived  in  the  smallest  house  in 
the  smallest  square  in  Chelsea  and  everything  in  the 
house  was  beautifully  kept,  but  old,  and,  as  regards 
carpets,  threadbare.  We  thought  a  great  deal  of  our- 
selves, though,  in  our  old-fashioned  way,  and  though  I 
had  never  been  expressly  told  that  the  Darrells  were 
a  better  family  than  the  Danvers,  I  somehow  knew  it. 

"The  Danvers,  my  dear,  were  in  trade,"  said  Aunt 
Susan.  "Cotton." 

"Reels  of  cotton?" 

"No.  Calico.  But  that  is  long  ago.  They  call 
themselves  landowners  now." 

I  was  rather  interested  in  the  Danvers  but  I  never 
could  get  Aunt  Susan  to  say  much  about  them.  She 
told  me  that  I  had  an  uncle  living  at  a  place  called 
Whincliffe,  that  he  was  a  purse  proud  disagreeable 
man,  and  that  though  he  knew  of  my  existence  he 
had  never  shown  any  desire  to  see  me. 


IRON   COUSINS  91 

"You  are  his  brother's  only  child ;  so  you  may  judge 
for  yourself  what  kind  of  people  they  are.  However, 
luckily  you  need  not  be  beholden  to  them."  I  may 
say  here  that  I  never  have  been  and  that  I  have  never 
yet  set  eyes  on  any  of  my  father's  relatives. 

"I  should  love  to  earn  my  own  living  and  be  be- 
holden to  no  one,"  I  said  one  day  soon  after  my 
twentieth  birthday.  "Every  able-bodied  man  and 
woman  should." 

Aunt  Susan  closed  her  mouth  in  a  way  I  understood 
meant  disagreement.  I  wish  I  could  show  her  to  you 
in  a  mirror  instead  of  trying  to  describe  her  in  words, 
most  of  them  as  defaced  by  use  as  coins  long  in  circula- 
lation.  She  was  of  middle  height,  spare  of  body  and 
neat  looking.  Her  gray  eyes  were  shrewd  and  her  skin, 
though  wrinkled,  was  still  fine  and  delicately  colored. 
She  sat  upright  in  her  chair  as  her  grandmother  had 
taught  her  to  do  and  she  was  usually  occupied  with 
her  needle.  Sir  Walter  Scott  was  her  novelist.  She 
would  read  a  modern  novel  with  avidity  and  pro- 
nounce it  trumpery  when  she  came  to  the  end.  But 
she  always  read  to  the  end.  Some  modern  novels  did 
not  come  our  way.  Once  when  one  did  she  called  it 
garbage.  Another  she  burned  ceremoniously.  She 
was  a  woman  of  strong  opinions  and  said  she  hoped 
she  would  always  know  good  from  evil.  She  was 
born  in  1850,  but  many  of  her  ways  and  ideas  be- 
longed to  an  older  time  and  as  they  were  all  fed  to 
me  in  my  youth,  I  occasionally  find  myself  behind  my 
generation.  At  least  Isabella  David  told  me  I  was 
when  I  refused  to  become  a  militant  suffragette  and 
go  out  with  a  hammer. 

The  Davids  live  in  Hampstead  now,  in  Fitzjohns 


4  IRON   COUSINS 

Avenue,  but  when  I  made  friends  with  Isabella  they 
lived  in  Chelsea  and  we  went  to  the  same  school.  The 
first  time  I  asked  Aunt  Susan  if  I  might  bring  Isabella 
back  with  me  to  tea  she  hesitated. 

"What  is  the  child's  name?"  she  inquired. 

"Isabella  David." 

"Are  they  Welsh  then?" 

"No.  They  are  foreigners.  At  least  the  parents 
are." 

My  aunt  gave  the  slight  inarticulate  sound  that 
expressed  want  of  sympathy  rather  than  disapproval. 
However,  I  was  allowed  to  ask  Isabella  to  tea,  and 
when  she  had  gone  my  aunt  said  that  she  seemed  a 
clever  child  but  that  she  gave  her  opinion  too  freely. 
In  due  course  I  was  asked  to  tea  at  the  Davids  and 
came  back  thrilled  by  the  size  and  splendor  of  their 
house  and  the  generosity  of  Mrs.  David  who  gave  me 
a  big  box  of  chocolates  when  I  bid  her  good-by.  That 
was  the  beginning  of  a  friendship  that  I  still  hope 
will  be  life-long  for,  though  I  have  always  disagreed 
with  Isabella,  I  have  always  liked  her.  The  Davids' 
house  and  the  people  who  gathered  there  let  me  into 
a  world  I  should  not  otherwise  have  known :  a  mixed 
world  of  monied  men  and  artists,  all  with  ideas,  ways 
and  features  that  I  did  not  see  at  home.  Many  na- 
tionalities met  at  that  house  and  I  have  known  Sun- 
day evenings  there  that  reminded  me  of  the  Tower 
of  Babel.  It  was  queer,  but  interesting,  and  the  chief 
effect  on  me  was  to  make  me  want  to  go  abroad  under 
any  circumstances  and  at  almost  any  price.  There 
was  an  ugly  little  Hungarian  who  seemed  to  admire 
me  very  much  and  I  should  certainly  have  married 
him  if  I  had  had  the  chance,  because  he  lived  at 


IRON   COUSINS  5 

Vienna.  Luckily  he  did  not  give  me  the  chance  but, 
after  courting  me  assiduously  all  through  one  winter, 
went  home  in  the  spring  and  married  his  cousin.  I 
got  the  impression  that  if  I  thought  the  David  milieu 
foreign  it  had  just  the  same  feeling  about  me.  I 
received  a  warm  welcome  but  I  remained  a  stranger 
amongst  them,  especially  as  regards  marriage.  Isa- 
bella had  brothers  and  sisters  older  than  herself,  and 
in  turn  each  one  of  these  married.  She  used  to  tell 
me  quite  openly  what  the  financial  arrangements  were 
in  each  case  and  even  who  paid  for  the  furniture  and 
linen;  and  one  day  when  the  little  Hungarian  had 
been  markedly  attentive  she  asked  me  if  I  thought 
my  aunt  would  give  me  a  dowry. 

"Certainly  not,"  I  said.  "She  can  hardly  make  two 
ends  meet  as  it  is." 

"What  a  pity!"  said  Isabella. 

"Englishmen  do  not  expect  a  dowry  with  their 
wives,"  I  said,  not  that  I  knew  much  about  it,  but  I 
had  heard  the  point  discussed  in  this  very  house. 

"I  was  not  thinking  of  Englishmen,"  said  Isabella. 
"If  your  aunt  would  have  given  you  a  dowry  you 
might  have  married  someone  of  a  different  nation- 
ality." 

"I  want  to  go  abroad,"  I  admitted,  "but  I  might  not 
want  to  stay  there." 

We  were  both  about  seventeen  at  that  time  and 
Isabella  still  thought  of  marriage  as  the  one  and  only 
course  for  women.  I  can  hardly  tell  you  when  she 
changed  her  opinion  and  became  so  violently  opposed 
to  it  that  she  rejected  a  parti  her  parents  were  anxious 
for  her  to  accept.  In  the  David  household  an  eligible 
young  man  was  always  talked  of  as  a  parti  and  Herr 


6  IRON   COUSINS 

Eichthal  who  lived  in  Berlin  had  come  to  London  on 
purpose  to  make  Isabella's  acquaintance  and  propose 
to  her.  I  did  not  like  him.  He  was  short  and  florid ; 
he  had  curly  black  hair,  and  he  wore  a  diamond  ring. 
He  was  both  conceited  and  obsequious  and  said  silly 
rude  things  about  England  and  the  English.  But  he 
was  the  only  son  of  wealthy  parents  and  Isabella  told 
me  that  if  she  married  him  she  would  have  magnificent 
pearls  and  diamonds  and  a  large  flat  in  a  fashionable 
part  of  Berlin.  Great  excitement  prevailed  in  the 
David  family  while  Herr  Eichthal  paid  his  visit.  The 
married  sons  and  daughters  came  and  went,  family 
festivals  were  arranged,  everyone  connected  with  the 
Davids  sang  Herr  Eichthal's  praises  and  pressure  was 
exerted  on  all  sides  to  bring  Isabella  to  her  senses. 
But  when  Herr  Eichthal  actually  made  his  offer  she 
refused  him  point  blank  and  gave  as  a  reason  to  her 
friends  that  he  had  nigger  lips.  They  were  all  very 
angry  and  so  was  Herr  Eichthal.  In  fact  he  went  off 
to  Berlin  in  a  huff  although  Mr.  and  Mrs.  David  both 
said  that  if  only  he  would  have  a  little  patience  they 
would  make  Isabella  see  reason.  Their  argument  was 
that  the  young  man  could  not  help  his  lips  and  that 
his  income  would  insure  her  happiness,  for  they  were 
most  affectionate  parents  and  wished  their  children  to 
be  happy.  But  the  young  people  were  both  deter- 
mined— the  man  to  take  offense  and  the  girl  to  let  him 
go.  The  affair  was  an  eight  days'  wonder  in  Isabella's 
little  world  and  soon  after,  to  my  surprise,  she  was 
allowed  to  go  to  India  for  a  year  as  governess  to  a 
little  boy,  the  only  child  of  intimate  friends.  Mrs. 
David  told  me  that  when  a  girl  had  got  herself  talked 
about,  it  was  well  for  her  to  be  away  for  a  time  and 


IRON   COUSINS  7 

that  Isabella's  position  in  India  would  be  that  of  a 
friend  and  not  of  a  governess.  I  could  not  see  why 
Isabella  should  be  banished  for  a  year  because  she 
had  taken  a  dislike  to  Herr  Eichthal's  nigger  lips,  but 
Mrs.  David  said  that  unfortunately  her  daugher  had 
not  made  up  her  mind  at  once  and  that  for  at  least 
a  week  the  whole  community  had  looked  on  the  young 
couple  as  engaged.  At  any  rate,  there  had  been  more 
talk  and  surmise  than  was  pleasant  and  Isabella  had 
always  wanted  to  see  the  world. 

"So  do  I,"  I  said.     "I  wish  I  could  go  to  India!" 
Mrs.  David  looked  at  me  thoughtfully. 
"Must  it  be  just  India?"  she  asked,  and  I  answered 
vaguely  that  I  had  not  set  my  heart  on  India  but 
would  go  anywhere  abroad  if  I  got  the  chance.     I 
spoke  without  thinking  seriously  that  I  should  get  it 
and  without  much  consideration  for  Aunt  Susan. 


II 


1HAVE  told  you  a  little  about  the  Davids  and 
Isabella  because  I  am  sure  that  half  uncon- 
sciously Isabella's  year  in  India  had  an  in- 
fluence on  my  own  adventure  out  of  England.  I  be- 
came accustomed  to  the  idea  that  a  girl  might  have 
a  sheltered  home  and  yet,  for  one  reason  or  the  other, 
decide  to  leave  it  for  a  time,  and  this  idea  was  sup- 
ported by  my  conviction  that  I  ought  to  earn  my 
bread  if  I  could.  For  there  was  no  doubt  that  in 
order  to  maintain  me  Aunt  Susan  had  to  deny  herself, 
and  the  older  she  grew  the  less  I  liked  to  see  her 
doing  it. 

Isabella  came  back  from  India  in  the  spring  of 
1912  and  I  now  found  that  she  was  more  violent  than 
ever  about  the  rights,  or  rather  the  wrongs,  of  women. 
It  was  then  that  she  discovered  how  old-fashioned 
and  reprehensible  my  views  were  and  for  a  time  she 
dropped  me.  Mrs.  David  did  not.  She  often  asked 
me  to  Hampstead  partly,  I  believe,  in  the  vain  hope 
that  I  should  turn  Isabella  from  her  present  ways. 
But  you  cannot  turn  a  person  who  wears  mental 
blinkers.  Isabella  looked  neither  to  right  nor  to  left 
but  followed  her  leaders.  She  said  what  they  said, 
did  what  they  did,  thought  what  they  thought,  in  the 
traditional  feminine  way.  This  made  her  an  exas- 
perating companion,  especially  as  she  gave  herself  airs 


IRON   COUSINS  9 

although  she  was  behaving  like  a  parrot.  Her  parents 
bore  with  her  in  the  kindliest  way.  Mr.  David  was 
a  very  intelligent,  rather  silent  man  who  would  often 
express  what  he  felt  by  a  little  shrug  or  an  ironical 
light  in  his  eye.  He  had  a  good  deal  of  sympathy 
with  the  militant  women  I  believe,  though  he  would 
never  admit  this  to  his  daughter.  Probably  he  guessed 
that  she  was  only  a  parrot  and  not  even  a  steadfast 
one.  Mrs.  David  worried  about  the  dangers  her 
daughter  incurred  and  the  probable  effect  of  prison 
life  on  her  health  if  ever  she  went  to  prison.  None 
of  us  foresaw  the  amazing  volte-face  she  would  per- 
form and  which  was  occasioned  partly  by  a  quarrel 
with  her  superiors  and  partly  by  the  coming  of  Mr. 
Ernest  Schlosser.  You  might  think  from  his  name 
that  he  was  a  German.  I  made  that  mistake  and  gave 
great  offense  to  the  whole  David  family.  Mr. 
Schlosser  was  English,  everything  that  was  most  Eng- 
lish, and  I  was  not  to  forget  it.  Isabella  had  met  him 
in  India  and  had  been  attracted,  but  the  time  was  not 
ripe  perhaps.  At  any  rate  he  had  not  spoken  there 
and  he  did  speak  here  and  from  that  moment  all  went 
merry  as  a  marriage  bell  in  Fitzjohn's  Avenue.  The 
inappreciative  militant  leaders  who  had  seemed  to 
have  little  use  for  Isabella  were  cast  off  like  old  gloves 
and  with  them  went  their  opinions.  My  friend 
actually  quoted  Chamisso  and  said  that  henceforth  she 
would  belong  wholly  to  Ernest  and  live  to  serve  and 
honor  him.  It  was  a  dreadful  come-down.  However, 
Isabella  had  been  so  restless  and  tiresome  as  a  militant 
woman  and  was  so  happy  as  an  enslaved  one  that  I, 
who  am  doubtless  rather  weak  in  my  mind,  rejoiced 
over  her;  and  so  did  Aunt  Susan.  But  she  was  as 


io  IRON   COUSINS 

surprised  as  I  had  been  to  hear  that  Mr.  Schlosser 
was  English. 

Isabella  brought  him  to  see  us  one  day  and  we  liked 
him  very  well.  He  was  a  personable  man  and  he  cer- 
tainly spoke  English  without  a  foreign  accent.  But 
the  shape  of  his  head  was  German  and  so  was  certain 
pedantry  of  mind  and  manner.  He  was  what  some 
people  call  well  informed.  He  had  the  tabulated 
knowledge  you  find  in  an  encyclopedia  and  imparted 
it  with  fluency  on  the  smallest  provocation.  Unfor- 
tunately, Aunt  Susan  asked  him  at  what  age  he  had 
left  Germany  and  this  made  him  so  angry  that  I  felt 
quite  uncomfortable.  His  face  turned  red  and  he 
replied  that  he  had  never  been  in  Germany  for  an 
hour.  He  had  been  born  in  London  and  educated  at 
Harrow  and  he  was  about  to  change  his  name  to  Sad- 
dington  since  people  attached  such  an  absurd  value 
to  names.  He  could  not  see  himself  why  an  English- 
man called  Schlosser  should  not  be  as  English  as  one 
called  Pelissier  or  Novissimo.  He  knew  men  of  both 
names  who  were  as  English  as  any  Smith  or  Brown. 

Aunt  Susan  listened  politely  to  this  tirade  and  when 
he  had  gone  sighed  a  little,  perhaps  with  weariness. 

"How  do  you  like  Mr.  Schlosser?"  I  asked. 

"Very  well,"  said  she,  "but  not  so  well  as  he  likes 
the  sound  of  his'  own  voice." 

I  agreed  with  her.  The  young  man  was  too  voluble 
and  instructive  for  my  taste  but  luckily  Isabella  took 
a  different  view.  She  grew  happier  and  happier  as 
the  time  for  her  marriage  approached  and  the  de- 
lightful realities  of  a  trousseau  and  a  newly  furnished 
house  occupied  her  leisure.  People  like  the  Davids 
have  large  ideas  about  clothes  and  furniture  on  the 


IRON   COUSINS  ii 

occasion  of  a  daughter's  wedding.  At  least  Aunt 
Susan  and  I,  with  our  frugal  habits,  thought  so.  Mr. 
David  gave  Isabella  five  hundred  pounds  for  her  trous- 
seau and  another  five  hundred  to  furnish  her  small 
flat.  The  whole  German  community  to  which  she 
belonged  showered  presents  on  her  of  jewelry  and 
household  silver.  But  it  was  not  only  the  London 
friends  and  relations  who  combined  to  do  the  future 
Mr.  and  Mrs.  Saddington  honor.  From  every  town  in 
Germany  came  gifts  and  wedding  guests.  Dresdens, 
Cohens,  Schlossers,  Mandelbaums!  I  could  never  re- 
member all  the  names  and  the  family  reasons  for  ask- 
ing them,  but  I  heard  a  stout  good  natured  Herr 
Mandelbaum  address  the  bridegroom  as  his  lieber 
Ernst. 

"It  was  terrible,"  Isabella  whispered  to  me.  "When 
he  arrived  he  made  a  rush  at  Ernest  and  kissed  him 
before  us  all.  He  said  his  wife,  who  happens  to  be 
Ernest's  aunt,  charged  him  to  do  it.  We  shall  be 
thankful  when  they  are  all  safely  back  in  Germany." 

"I  wonder  why  you  asked  them  and  why  they 
came,"  I  said,  and  Isabella  explained  that  her  father 
and  mother  had  retrograde  ideas  and  considered  that 
a  wedding  ought  to  be  a  family  reunion  and  the  in- 
vitations as  far  flung  as  possible. 

I  was  one  of  Isabella's  bridesmaids.  At  first  when 
I  was  asked  Aunt  Susan  demurred  because  she  thought 
that  Isabella,  like  her  sisters  and  brothers,  would  be 
married  in  a  synagogue.  But  she  did  not  know  Mr. 
Saddington.  (He  was  really  changing  his  name  and 
he  had  asked  us  all  to  get  used  to  it  at  once  and  not 
wait  for  legal  formalities.)  He  said  that  rather  than 
be  married  in  a  synagogue  he  would  not  be  married 


12  IRON   COUSINS 

at  all.  Why  not  a  mosque  or  a  Hindoo  temple?  He 
was  a  member  of  the  Church  of  England  (the  highest 
brand),  and  his  wife  would  worship  where  he  did. 
There  was  an  awful  tow-row  over  this,  Isabella  told 
me.  Her  father  especially  did  not  like  it,  and  was 
in  two  minds  whether  to  let  the  marriage  go  on.  But 
Mrs.  David  harked  back  to  the  affair  with  Herr  Eich- 
thal  and  the  talk  there  had  been  in  the  community 
about  it.  She  said  they  could  not  send  Isabella  to 
the  other  end  of  the  world  again  in  order  to  silence 
people's  tongues,  and  how  could  it  matter  where  she 
was  married  as  long  as  she  was  well  and  happily 
married?  The  fuss  men  made  of  trifles!  Ernest  had 
a  right  to  his  opinions  and  probably  good  reasons  for 
them.  In  India  he  had  associated  exclusively  with 
Christians.  He  had  told  her  that  he  meant  to  do  the 
same  thing  in  England.  Everyone  to  his  taste.  She 
herself  did  not  judge  people  by  the  size  and  shape 
of  the  noses  God  had  given  them,  and  though  she  lived 
contentedly  in  this  country  she  was  not  ashamed  of 
the  one  from  which  she  came. 

All  these  views  and  arguments  presented  a  new 
corner  of  the  world  to  me,  a  corner  in  which  you 
were  not  English  by  blood  but  ardently  desired  to  be, 
partly  from  genuine  affection  for  everything  English 
and  partly  from  a  discontent  with  the  realities  of  your 
origin  that  no  doubt  was  snobbish.  I  liked  Mr.  and 
Mrs.  David  better  than  I  liked  Mr.  Saddington,  for 
I  could  not  see  that  it  mattered  where  you  came  into 
the  world  so  long  as  you  bore  yourself  as  creditably 
in  it  as  Isabella's  parents  did.  I  thought  the  wedding 
would  be  a  trying  time  for  the  bridegroom  and  no 
doubt  there  were  painful  moments,  especially  at  the 


IRON   COUSINS  13 

reception  after  the  ceremony  when  several  elderly 
male  relatives  were  determined  to  kiss  him  as  well  as 
the  bride,  and  showed  temper  because  he  stood  bolt 
upright  and  refused  to  be  kissed.  My  sympathies 
were  with  him  but  Herr  Plessen,  a  middle-aged  man 
standing  beside  me,  said  that  he  found  Mr.  Sadding- 
ton's  manners  cold  and  unnatural. 

Herr  Plessen  had  been  introduced  to  me  by  Mrs. 
David  as  a  Christian  from  Hamburg  and  I  had  been 
told  beforehand  that  he  was  one  of  Ernest's  senior 
partners  and  that  I  should  please  my  friends  if  I 
paid  a  little  attention  to  him.  He  was  in  London  on 
business  it  seemed,  and  it  was  considered  necessary 
or  polite  to  ask  him  to  the  wedding  although  Ernest 
said  that  he  was  extremely  anti-Semite  and  would 
feel  like  a  fish  out  of  water.  He  looked  to  me  more 
like  a  giant  amongst  pigmies,  for  he  was  a  head  and 
shoulders  taller  than  anyone  else  there ;  but  I  gathered 
from  his  detached  manner  and  moments  of  solitude 
that  he  did  feel  himself  in  strange  surroundings. 

"In  Hamburg,"  he  said  to  me,  "when  there  is  a 
wedding  there  is  a  meal.  I  do  not  call  this  a  meal." 

I  was  eating  an  ice  and  petit  fours,  and  we  had 
both  accepted  a  glass  of  champagne. 

"Heidsick  Monopol,"  he  had  said  approvingly  when 
he  first  tasted  it. 

"But  no  one  wants  a  heavy  meal  at  four  o'clock 
in  the  afternoon,"  I  argued. 

"Why  not?  In  Germany  we  are  not  the  slaves  of 
custom.  If  we  are  hungry  at  four  we  eat  at  four." 

He  spoke  slowly  and  with  deliberation.  He  had  a 
kind  quiet  face,  light  blue  eyes,  a  clean  shaven  heavy 
chin  and  scanty  fair  hair.  His  neck  at  the  back  of 


14  IRON   COUSINS 

his  collar  was  as  wide  as  his  head  and  had  creases 
of  fat  in  it.  He  looked  clean  and  his  linen  was  white 
and  shining.  I  noticed  it  because  he  wore  evening 
clothes  which  looked  odd  in  broad  daylight,  but  he 
had  explained  to  me  that  in  Hamburg  evening  clothes 
were  correct  at  a  wedding  and  that  no  one  had  told 
him  they  would  be  incorrect  in  London.  One  or  two 
of  the  other  guests  had  made  the  same  mistake  and 
kept  him  in  countenance,  if  that  was  necessary.  But 
I  don't  think  it  was. 

"I  go  back  to  Hamburg  on  Saturday,"  he  said,  and 
his  eyes  as  they  rested  on  me  seemed  to  pass  judg- 
ment, as  if  he  was  asking  what  Hamburg  would  think 
of  me  and  answering  the  question  more  or  less  in  my 
favor. 

"You  have  not  the  appearance  of  a  teacher,"  he 
said  after  a  long  ruminating  survey. 

I  wondered  what  he  meant,  but  I  had  been  so  much 
with  the  Davids  and  their  friends  that  I  had  become 
used  to  having  odd  things  said  to  me,  odd  personal 
comments  and  inquiries  that  we  should  only  make  in 
England  if  we  were  intimate. 

"I  am  not  a  teacher,"  I  said. 

He  looked  at  me  again. 

"Perhaps  in  more  ordinary  clothes  .  .  ." 

He  did  not  finish  his  sentence  but  I  knew  what  he 
meant.  The  Davids  had  rigged  me  out  for  the  wed- 
ding because  the  bridesmaids'  dresses  were  costly  and 
fantastic.  They  knew  I  could  not  afford  one,  but 
they  were  pleased  to  say  that  the  procession  would 
be  spoiled  if  I  was  not  in  it.  They  had  an  exaggerated 
idea  of  my  looks  just  because  I  am  not  their  own 
type.  In  an  English  crowd  I  should  pass  unnoticed. 


IRON   COUSINS  15 

There  I  should  be  a  girl  of  average  height,  slim  and 
well  enough.  But  my  wedding  garment  made  some- 
thing of  me  that  I  had  never  been  before.  I  had 
seen  that  at  home  and  so  had  Aunt  Susan  and  Tibbie, 
our  ancient  cook.  If  there  had  not  been  seven  others 
like  it  I  would  not  have  been  seen  in  church  arrayed 
so  gorgeously.  Isabella  had  said  she  would  not  have 
bridesmaids  at  all  if  they  were  to  be  pretty-pretty. 
No  filmy  white  and  blue  ribbons  at  her  wedding.  She 
had  different  ideas.  Where  she  got  them  from  you 
may  judge  for  yourself  if  you  remember  the  vogue 
on  the  Paris  stage  just  before  the  war. 

"She  was  a  gordian  shape  of  dazzling  hue, 
Vermilion  spotted,  golden,  green  and  blue; 
Striped  like  a  zebra,  freckled  like  a  pard, 
Eyed  like  a  peacock,  and  all  crimson  barred; 
And  full  of  silver  moons,  that,  as  she  breathed, 
Dissolved,  or  brighter  shone,  or  interwreathed 
Their  lusters  with  the  gloomier  tapestries." 

To  translate  into  realities,  Isabella  or  her  dressmaker 
had  found  a  silk  gauze  of  many  colors  and  a  golden 
tissue  that  they  embroidered  with  silver  moons  and 
made  into  an  under  dress  of  a  fish-like  tightness  and 
with  a  fish-like  tail.  I  wore  golden  shoes  with  it  and 
a  golden  net  on  my  hair,  and  when  Aunt  Susan  saw 
me  she  said  I  looked  like  Lamia  before  she  cast  her 
skin.  But  Tibbie  threw  up  her  hands  and  said  she 
could  imagine  Jezebel  dressed  so  and  she  wondered 
Miss  Darrell  allowed  it.  I  think  from  his  expression 
that  Herr  Plessen  agreed  with  Tibbie. 

"Mrs.  David  tells  me  that  your  parents  died  when 
you  were  a  child  and  that  you  have  been  educated 
by  an  aunt,  a  lady  for  whom  she  has  the  highest  re- 


16  IRON   COUSINS 

spect,"  he  said.  "If  it  is  agreeable  to  you  I  shall  call 
upon  her." 

I  thought  that  though  he  disapproved  of  my  clothes 
he  must  have  taken  a  liking  to  me,  but  that  as  he  was 
going  back  to  Hamburg  on  Saturday  our  friendship 
was  bound  to  be  nipped  in  the  bud. 

"We  might  write  to  each  other  sometimes,"  I  said. 
"I  should  love  to  have  a  long  letter  in  German  that 
I  had  to  puzzle  out  with  a  dictionary." 

"Why  should  we  write  to  each  other?"  said  Herr 
Plessen,  looking  as  if  he  thought  me  rather  forward 
and  presumptuous. 

"Why  should  you  want  to  call  on  my  aunt?"  I 
countered. 

"Because  I  wish  to  make  her  an  offer,"  he  said 
seriously. 

For  a  moment  I  thought  he  must  be  mad  like  the 
old  man  who  made  love  to  Mrs.  Nickleby  over  the 
garden  wall,  but  you  only  had  to  look  at  Herr  Plessen 
to  know  that  he  was  sane,  sound,  and  well  pleased  with 
himself.  He  was  a  business  man  I  knew ;  and  no  doubt 
the  offer  he  wished  to  make  my  aunt  would  be  busi- 
ness-like, but  I  had  no  inkling  yet  of  what  it  was 
going  to  be. 


Ill 

MRS.  DAVID  has  a  high  opinion  of  you," 
continued  Herr  Plessen.     "She  says  that 
you  have  been  well  brought  up  and  that 
you  set  her  daughter  an  excellent  example  which  un- 
fortunately she  refused  to  follow." 

This  description  was  so  unlike  what  I  knew  of 
myself  and  so  like  Mrs.  David's  ponderous  way  of 
praising  anyone  she  wished  to  praise  that  I  dare  say 
I  smiled. 

"H  .  .  .  m,"  said  Herr  Plessen,  "I  wish  I  had 
brought  my  wife  with  me." 

He  paused  a  moment,  sighed,  and  then  continued 
speaking. 

"My  wife  has  a  strong  character.  She  knows  ex- 
actly what  she  wants;  still  she  has  left  it  to  me.  In 
her  letter  this  morning  she  says  truly  that  a  personal 
interview  lasting  five  minutes  is  better  than  any  amount 
of  correspondence,  and  she  concludes  'I  do  not  care 
what  she  looks  like  as  long  as  she  does  not  remind 
me  of  Mamsell.' " 

There  was  a  movement  in  the  room  because  one 
of  the  guests  from  Germany  insisted  on  making  a 
speech  and  people  were  crowding  to  his  end  of  the 
room  to  listen  to  him.  But  Herr  Plessen  and  I  re- 
mained where  we  were. 

17 


i8  IRON   COUSINS 

"I  suppose  you  know  no  German,"  he  said. 

"Very  little." 

"I  consider  that  an  advantagee.  The  question  is,  do 
you  know  anything  at  all  or  are  you  as  ignorant  as 
we  in  Germany  expect  English  people  to  be?" 

"You  cannot  possibly  imagine  me  more  ignorant 
than  I  am,"  I  said  with  a  sigh. 

"But  you  know  your  own  language?" 

I  shook  my  head. 

"Far  from  it,"  I  assured  him.  "English  is  not  an 
easy  language  to  know." 

"There  you  make  a  mistake,"  said  Herr  Plessen. 
"English  is  the  easiest  language  in  Europe.  It  is  not 
declined.  Its  nouns  are  all  neuter.  Nothing  is  difficult 
in  English  except  its  unreasonable  pronunciation." 

I  drank  in  his  wisdom  with  a  polite  and  I  hope  an 
interested  expression,  but  instead  of  pursuing  the  sub- 
ject I  said  directly  he  stopped : 

"Who  is  Mamsell,  and  why  does  Mrs.  Plessen  not 
wish  to  be  reminded  of  her?" 

"Mamsell  was  the  young  person  who  lived  in  our 
house  and  assisted  my  wife  with  the  children  and  the 
house-keeping.  Unfortunately  she  was  a  conspicuous 
beauty  and  at  the  same  time  frivolous." 

"What  was  she  like?"  I  asked. 

"I  should  think  she  must  have  weighed  three  times 
what  you  do,"  was  his  unexpected  reply.  "She  was 
a  big  well-developed  girl,  with  a  high  color  and  bright 
yellow  hair.  Not  at  all  a  personality  that  a  careful 
mother  wishes  to  send  out  with  her  children.  But 
she  was  a  perfect  cook." 

He  sighed  again  and  looked  doubtfully  at  me. 

"We  should  not  expect  you  to  cook,"  he  said. 


IRON   COUSINS  19 

The  whole  conversation  had  been  exciting  and  mys- 
terious, for  from  the  first  I  had  known,  of  course, 
that  it  was  not  an  ordinary  one  beginning  nowhere 
and  ending  anyhow. 

"Do  you  want  an  Englsh  Mamsell?"  I  cried.  "Do 
you  want  me  to  come  to  Hamburg  and  teach  your 
children  English?" 

"That  is  what  I  have  been  explaining  ever  since 
Mrs.  David  brought  you  up  to  me,"  he  said  with  dig- 
nity. "I  took  for  granted  that  you  understood. 
Surely  Mrs.  David  said  something." 

"She  is  very  preoccupied  to-day,"  I  murmured, 
for  Mrs.  David  had  said  nothing  at  all  to  me  of  Herr 
Plessen's  plans.  She  was  in  a  distraught  state  when 
we  streamed  into  the  drawing-room  after  the  wedding 
because  Mr.  Saddington's  Uncle  Jacob  and  Isabella's 
Uncle  Heinrich  were  having  a  heated  controversy 
about  the  ceremonial  and  Uncle  Jacob's  attitude  in 
church;  and  their  argument  was  so  loud  and  heated 
that  everyone  else  had  been  reduced  to  silence  and 
had  gathered  round  them  as  if  to  form  a  ring.  Mrs. 
David  had  managed  to  break  it  up  by  acting  much 
like  an  intelligent  sheep  dog,  herding  some  down- 
stairs to  look  at  the  presents  and  others  into  another 
room  where  Isabella's  trousseau  was  on  view.  In  the 
midst  of  her  anxieties  she  caught  sight  of  me,  seized 
me  affectionately  by  the  arm,  led  me  up  to  Herr 
Plessen  and  said: 

"This  is  the  young  lady,  dear  Herr  Plessen.  She 
is  a  favorite  with  everyone  in  my  house.  Even  the 
servants  are  pleased  when  she  pays  us  a  visit." 

I  was  not  embarrassed  because  by  this  time  I  was 
used  to  Mrs.  David's  way  of  introducing  people  to 


20  IRON   COUSINS 

each  other  with  a  little  hymn  of  praise  or  a  short 
biographical  description.  Herr  Plessen  had  looked  at 
me  in  a  ruminating  way  and  without  the  least  en- 
thusiasm, and  I  had  done  my  best  to  entertain  him 
because  I  knew  that  he  was  a  stranger  and  that  the 
Davids  wished  him  to  be  treated  attentively. 

"The  moment  I  told  Mrs.  David  what  I  was  seek- 
ing she  said  that  she  could  assist  me,"  continued  Herr 
Plessen  and  his  tone  was  reproachful  and  disappointed. 
"She  said  that  you  had  been  at  school  with  her  daugh- 
ter, but  that  you  had  been  brought  up  in  modest 
circumstances  and  had  asked  her  to  find  you  a  situa- 
tion, if  possible  out  of  England." 

"Come  and  see  Aunt  Susan,"  I  said.  "If  she  will 
let  me  go  .  .  ." 

"Naturally  I  shall  pay  a  visit  to  your  aunt,"  he 
said.  "You  are  too  young  to  settle  such  an  affair  for 
yourself.  Besides,  before  I  can  make  up  my  own 
mind  I  must  see  you  in  other  clothes  and  find  out 
whether  you  can  undertake  the  duties  my  wife  would 
require  of  you." 

"Can't  you  tell  me  about  them  now?"  I  said 
eagerly,  and  I  took  a  step  towards  a  window-seat 
some  other  people  had  vacated.  But  Herr  Plessen  did 
not  follow.  He  remained  stiffly  standing  where  he 
was  and  accepted  some  more  champagne  which  was 
now  being  carried  round  a  second  time.  His  manner 
made  me  feel  that  I  had  been  rather  forward  in  trying 
to  take  the  initiative.  His  years,  his  sex  and  his  pos- 
sible position  as  my  employer  ought  to  have  shown 
me  that  the  initiative  should  be  left  to  him.  I  won- 
dered how  he  would  get  on  with  Aunt  Susan  and  how 
I  should  prepare  her  for  his  visit. 


IRON   COUSINS  21 

"Will  you  come  to  tea  on  Thursday?"  I  said. 

"I  thank  you,"  he  said,  and  I  thought  that  he  meant 
that  he  would  come.  So  I  murmured  something 
about  half  past  four  and  he  stared. 

"Till  half  past  five  I  am  in  the  City,"  he  said.  "I 
shall  call  on  your  aunt  punctually  at  six." 

The  room  had  become  more  crowded  than  ever  now 
and  I  saw  several  people  I  knew.  Some  of  them  came 
up  to  me  and  I  got  separated  from  Herr  Plessen.  But 
as  I  bid  good-by  to  Mrs.  David  after  the  departure 
of  the  bride  and  bridegroom  she  asked  me  if  I  had 
come  to  an  arrangement  with  him.  I  shook  my  head. 

"He  will  not  commit  himself  till  he  has  seen  me  in 
other  clothes,"  I  explained.  "He  is  coming  to  call  on 
us  on  Thursday." 

"It  would  not  be  quite  like  an  adventure  amongst 
strangers,"  she  said,  looking  at  me  in  a  friendly  com- 
fortable way.  "You  know  that  he  is  Ernest's  partner 
and  that  they  are  people  of  some  standing  and  posi- 
tion. The  firm  of  Plessen  and  Wundt  is  known  all 
over  the  world.  Ernest  is  extremely  lucky  to  have 
got  it." 

When  I  went  back  to  Chelsea  I  found  Aunt  Susan 
in  the  drawing-room  which  occupied  the  first  floor 
and  had  three  straight  narrow  doll's  house  windows 
in  front  facing  the  square,  and  one  wide  one  at  the  back 
facing  streets  and  little  gardens.  I  sat  down  near  her 
and  told  her  all  I  could  about  the  wedding,  but  of  course 
I  could  not  make  her  see  with  my  eyes  and  hear  with 
my  ears.  When  I  got  to  the  part  about  Herr  Plessen 
I  began  to  hesitate. 

"When  we  got  back  from  church  Mrs.  David  in- 
troduced me  to  a  Herr  Plessen,"  I  began. 


22  IRON    COUSINS 

"Introduced  Herr  Plessen  to  you,"  suggested  Aunt 
Susan. 

"No,"  I  said,  "it  was  the  other  way  about.  He 
was  elderly  and  ponderous  and  he  stood  like  a  rock 
in  the  back  drawing-room.  He  is  Mr.  Saddington's 
senior  partner  and  lives  in  Hamburg." 

Aunt  Susan  seemed  to  think  she  had  heard  enough 
about  the  David  wedding  and  the  David's  friends. 
She  was  very  polite  but  I,  who  knew  her  so  well, 
knew  when  she  was  bored.  I  saw  her  eye  stray  to 
her  open  book  and  I  saw  that  she  was  reading  Le 
Misanthrope  and  probably  wanted  to  get  back  to  it. 

"He  is  coming  to  call  here  on  Thursday,"  I  said, 
and  startled  her. 

"I  thought  he  was  elderly,"  she  murmured. 

"He  is,  and  married,  and  the  father  of  a  family." 

"Then  why  is  he  coming?" 

"He  wants  to  make  your  acquaintance,  and  to  see 
me  in  everyday  clothes." 

Aunt  Susan  did  not  try  to  get  back  to  her  book 
again.  She  looked  at  me. 

"Isabella  went  to  India,"  I  said. 

"So  you  want  to  go  to  Hamburg." 

"I  should  only  stay  a  year  perhaps,  and  I  should 
learn  German.  I  really  ought  to  earn  my  living,  Aunt 
Susan.  I'm  a  parasite." 

"Nonsense !"  She  seemed  to  consider  the  matter 
some  time  and  then  said: 

"But  why  Germany?  India  is  nearer  to  us  than 
Germany.  You  would  feel  more  at  home  there." 

I  did  not  try  to  argue  with  her.  I  had  broken  the 
ice  and  that  was  the  main  thing.  When  Herr  Plessen 
arrived  on  Thursday  we  were  both  in  the  drawing- 


IRON   COUSINS  23 

room  ready  for  him,  and  I  wore  a  plain  dark  blue 
linen  that  I  had  made  myself.  He  looked  very  big 
as  he  came  in,  and  my  aunt  looked  small  but  self- 
possessed.  She  listened  to  what  he  had  to  say  about 
the  dust  and  the  east  wind,  both  of  which  had  in- 
commoded him;  and  when  she  saw  an  opening  she 
asked  him  how  many  children  he  had  and  what  ages 
they  were.  He  told  her  that  he  had  two  boys  and 
two  girls  and  that  the  boys  went  to  school.  While 
he  talked  he  was  looking  hard  at  the  room  and  at  us, 
and  the  more  he  looked  the  more  urbane  he  became. 
Before  long  he  took  out  an  enormous  pocket  hand- 
kerchief of  a  dazzling  whiteness  and  blew  a  regular 
trumpet  call  on  his  nose  with  it.  When  he  had  shat- 
tered our  nerves  and  soothed  himself  in  this  way,  he 
said: 

"We  will  now  come  to  business.  I  require  an  Eng- 
lish governess  for  my  children,  and  Mrs.  David 
recommends  your  niece.  I  do  not  offer  her  much 
salary  because  she  will  live  with  us  and  be  one  of  the 
family.  Mrs.  David  informs  me  that  her  daughter 
received  nothing  but  her  traveling  expenses." 

"The  Davids  are  wealthy  people,"  said  my  aunt 

"Your  niece  is  quite  without  experience  or  train- 
ing," said  Herr  Plessen.  "She  confessed  to  me  that 
she  did  not  even  know  her  own  language." 

"Fiddlededee,"  said  my  aunt,  "the  laborer  is  worth 
his  hire." 

Herr  Plessen  looked  as  if  he  did  not  understand 
what  she  was  saying  and  turned  to  me. 

"Twenty  pounds,"  he  said;  "four  hundred  marks, 
paid  monthly.  It  is  liberal.  I  could  get  fifty  young 
ladies  who  do  not  know  their  own  language  for  noth- 


24  IRON   COUSINS 

ing  but  their  keep  and  their  fare.  But  my  time  is 
short  and  I  have  seen  you  twice.  That  is  not  much, 
but  it  is  something.  You  must  make  up  your  mind 
at  once  because  I  must  'phone  for  a  berth.  I  am  re- 
turning by  sea  on  Saturday." 

"On  Saturday !"  I  cried.  "You  want  me  to  be  ready 
on  Saturday?" 

"Why  not?"  said  Herr  Plessen. 


IV 


ON  Saturday  I  met  Herr  Plessen  at  Waterloo, 
traveled  with  him  to  Southampton  and  found 
myself  on  board  the  Amerika,  a  German 
ship,  owned  and  manned  by  Germans  and  in  the 
main  used  by  them.  Aunt  Susan  had  not  wished  me 
to  come.  I  saw  that.  But  she  had  not  prevented  it. 
She  had  always  reminded  me  of  the  mother  in  Miss 
Edgeworth's  story  who  let  Rosamund  buy  the  purple 
jar  and  find  out  for  herself  that  it  was  not  worth  the 
money.  When  I  consulted  her,  she  said  that  it  was 
unnecessary  for  me  to  leave  home  and  that  the  posi- 
tion of  governess  was  not  always  a  pleasant  one.  I 
thought  she  got  her  ideas  from  the  Bronte  novels,  and 
that  now-a-days  people  had  wide  views  about  women 
who  wished  to  be  self-supporting.  I  pointed  out  to 
her  that  if  I  did  go  I  could  come  back  again  if  I 
was  unhappy,  and  she  said  that  had  occurred  to  her, 
too,  and  that  I  must  please  myself.  Sol  sent  a  wire 
to  Herr  Plessen  accepting  his  offer  and  a  little  note 
of  thanks  to  Mrs.  David  telling  her  what  I  was  about 
to  do.  The  dear  woman  arrived  next  day  with  a  fur 
coat  that  she  said  I  should  need  in  the  winter  because 
it  was  much  colder  in  Hamburg  than  in  London,  and 
a  small  Thermos  flask  which  she  said  Isabella  would 
not  miss  as  fifteen  had  been  sent  to  Ernest  and  to 
25 


26  IRON   COUSINS 

her  for  wedding  presents.  She  was  delighted  to  hear 
that  I  was  going  to  the  Plessens  and  she  certainly 
cheered  up  Aunt  Susan.  She  said  that  during  the 
summer  I  should  be  a  great  deal  on  the  water  and 
probably  learn  to  sail  a  pleasure  boat,  and  that  in 
winter  there  was  skating  by  day  and  the  opera  or  a 
concert  at  night;  and  that  Hamburgers  like  the  Pies- 
sens  kept  such  a  good  table  that  they  were  difficult  to 
please  elsewhere.  She  assured  my  aunt  that  my  going 
as  Isabella's  friend  would  make  all  the  difference  in 
the  world  to  my  position  there  and  I  know  she  be- 
lieved this.  She  was  so  kind  and  generous  herself 
that  she  easily  expected  to  find  her  own  qualities  in 
other  people.  But  she  said  that  she  had  never  seen 
Frau  Plessen  and  had  never  heard  a  word  about  her. 
When  she  had  gone  we  looked  up  Hamburg  in  the 
Encyclopedia  and  as  I  was  busy  with  my  clothes  and 
my  packing  Aunt  Susan  said  she  would  copy  out 
some  of  the  important  dates  and  events  in  the  history 
of  the  town  for  me.  During  dinner  she  told  me  a 
little  about  the  Hanseatic  League  and  advised  me  to 
go  to  Liibeck  if  I  could  and  buy  some  of  the  cele- 
brated marzipan  made  there.  Of  course  she  pro- 
nounced the  "z"  in  the  English  way  and  not  like  the 
"ts"  as  she  should  have  done.  She  knew  French  very 
well  and  some  Italian,  but  no  German;  and  her  ideas 
about  German)-  were  chiefly  derived  from  Grimm's 
Fairy  Tales,  and  an  old-fashioned  sentimental  story 
called  "German  Love."  She  did  read  the  papers,  but 
she  did  not  believe  in  a  German  Peril  because,  she 
argued,  an  inland  country  would  not  go  to  war  with 
a  great  maritime  power.  She  said  that  journalists 
had  to  make  a  living  and  that  they  made  it  by  scaring 


IRON    COUSINS  27 

fools.  She  refused  to  be  scared  and  the  few  Germans 
she  had  met  in  life  were  decent,  peaceable  folk  like 
the  Davids.  In  those  days  I  didn't  think  about  such 
things  and  I  willingly  agreed  with  Aunt  Susan.  My 
ideas  of  Germany  were  colored  by  "Elizabeth's"  en- 
chanting books  and  one  of  the  first  questions  I  asked 
Herr  Plessen  as  we  traveled  to  Southampton  was 
whether  he  had  ever  been  to  Ruegen. 

"Last  year  we  spent  the  summer  freshness  at 
Putbus,"  he  replied.  So  I  aked  him  if  he  had  read 
"Elizabeth  in  Ruegen,"  and  he  said  that  he  had  not, 
and  that  this  year  they  were  going  to  Schondorf  in 
the  Frankische  Schweiz  because  their  doctor  consid- 
ered sea  air  injurious  to  the  children. 

It  seemed  an  odd  idea  but  I  thought  it  would  not 
be  polite  to  say  so.  I  murmured  something  about  sea 
air  making  some  people  bilious  and  that  seemed  to 
annoy  him.  He  said  that  people  were  not  bilious  un- 
less they  were  greedy  and  that  what  his  family  suffered 
from  was  weak  nerves.  Then  he  seemed  to  want  to 
read  the  paper  and  we  traveled  in  silence  for  some 
time.  When  we  got  on  the  Amerika  he  helped  me 
to  find  my  berth  which  he  had  taken  on  the  second- 
class  part  of  the  ship,  and  I  did  not  see  him  again 
till  we  arrived  at  Cuxhafen  next  day.  He  went  first 
class  himself  and  told  his  wife  in  my  hearing  that 
he  had  a  room  furnished  with  satinwood  and  pale 
blue  satin  and  that  though  he  was  a  bad  sailor  he 
had  been  able  to  enjoy  most  of  his  meals.  So  did  I, 
and  even  the  second-class  ones  were  plentiful  and 
beautifully  cooked.  I  was  sorry  when  night  came  as 
it  seemed  such  waste  of  time  to  go  to  sleep  in  a 
foreign  ship  where  everything  was  interesting.  In  the 


28  IRON   COUSINS 

darkness  there  was  a  fog  and  a  halt,  much  clanging 
of  bells  and  the  sound  of  German  spoken  in  my 
drowsy  ears.  We  had  been  near  running  down  a 
small  ship,  the  stewardess  told  me  in  the  morning, 
and  she  pointed  out  that  in  the  moment  of  danger  it 
steadies  the  nerves  to  know  that  you  are  more  likely 
to  harm  others  than  to  be  harmed  yourself. 

I  cannot  tell  you  anything  about  Cuxhafen  because 
we  were  escorted  straight  into  a  special  train  waiting 
for  us  and  we  were  taken  without  a  stop  to  Hamburg. 
Then  we  drove  through  crowded  streets  and  market 
places,  some  of  which  I  could  see  were  very  old  and 
frequented  by  the  poorer  part  of  the  population.  The 
women  and  children  in  these  parts  of  the  city  were 
mostly  bareheaded  and  dressed  in  serviceable  stuffs 
plainly  made.  They  looked  much  tidier  than  our 
working  classes  do  and  even  from  the  taxi  I  could 
see  that  they  wore  home-knitted  stockings  and  strong 
boots.  Most  of  them  were  fair-haired  and  the  boys 
had  their  heads  closely  cropped,  but  many  of  the  girls 
wore  theirs  in  two  thick  pigtails.  I  did  not  see  many 
soldiers  in  the  streets  but  I  noticed  that  all  the  post- 
men and  tram  servants  wore  uniforms  and  wore  them 
with  neatness  and  precision.  When  we  had  driven 
a  long  way  we  came  to  the  water  that  Mrs.  David 
had  spoken  of  when  she  said  that  I  should  probably 
learn  to  sail  a  pleasure  boat;  and  I  had  tried  to  pic- 
ture an  ancient  city  built  round  a  lake,  its  gabled 
roofs  and  storied  casements  leaning  towards  deep 
gloomy  waters,  green  and  sunless  by  day,  starlit  at 
night.  Well!  Hamburg  is  a  handsome,  cheerful 
town  with  old  romantic  bits  hidden  away  in  back 
streets  and  in  some  weathers  and  at  some  hours  pos- 


IRON   COUSINS  29 

sessing  beauty.  But  on  this  brilliant  summer  morn- 
ing I  did  not  find  the  city  of  my  dreams,  though  I 
found  another  one  as  unlike  my  dreams  as  Herr  Pies- 
sen,  for  instance,  was  unlike  one  of  Grimm's  younger 
sons  or  the  hero  of  "German  Love." 

The  water  sparkled  in  the  sunlight,  little  boats  with 
white  sails  danced  on  its  surface,  steamboats  laden 
with  passengers  passed  by  us  and  on  three  sides  of 
its  hard  ungiving  concrete  walls,  damming  it  safely 
from  the  city  there  rose  tall,  white,  modern  houses, 
glistening  with  newness  and  talking  of  money.  At 
one  of  these  our  taxi  stopped  and  leaving  me  to  get 
out  by  myself,  Herr  Plessen  entered  and  preceded  me 
upstairs.  I  was  not  surprised  by  his  manners,  but  I 
did  not  exactly  enjoy  them.  However,  like  Touch- 
stone, I  told  myself  that  travelers  must  be  content  and 
that  I  had  not  left  home  in  order  to  find  everyone 
and  every  thing  what  I  was  used  to.  He  stopped  on 
the  first  floor,  let  himself  in  with  his  own  key,  went 
straight  through  a  small  entrance  hall,  leaving  me 
standing  there,  and  in  a  sonorous  voice  called  out: 

"Ottilie!" 

Almost  at  once  the  door  of  a  room  opened  and  a 
lady  appeared  whose  glance  went  straight  to  me  al- 
though a  great  deal  of  her  was  being  enfolded  in  Herr 
Plessen's  embrace  and  in  a  business-like  way  affection- 
ately greeted.  I  thought  her  response  seemed  chilly 
and  that  she  showed  relief  when  he  let  her  go  again, 
and  waving  his  hand  towards  me,  said: 

"I  bring  you  the  English  Fraiilein." 

"If  the  young  lady  is  English  she  is  not  a  Fraii- 
lein,"  said  Frau  Plessen,  and  addressing  me  she  said : 
"If  you  please,  come  in." 


30  IRON   COUSINS 

It  was  lighter  in  the  room  we  now  entered  than 
it  had  been  in  the  passage  and  from  its  three  large 
windows  I  saw  the  life  and  ripple  of  the  water  again 
and  the  warm  sunshine  of  the  June  day.  But  though 
I  could  see  it  all  my  attention  was  fixed  for  the  mo- 
ment on  the  mistress  of  the  house.  She  had  a  good 
head  of  fair  hair  elaborately  and  carefully  done  in 
a  Pompadour  style  that  would  have  looked  old- 
fashioned  in  London,  but  which  suited  her.  She  wore 
a  blue  foulard  with  white  spots,  well  made,  but  fussy. 
She  had  some  magnificent  rings  on  her  fingers  and 
she  sat  on  the  sofa  beside  her  husband  with  an  air  of 
frosty  dignity  that  was  not  in  the  least  like  my  con- 
ception of  the  German  Haus  Frau.  There  was  no 
table  in  front  of  the  sofa  but  there  was  one  in  re- 
volving tiers  on  her  right  hand  and  it  had  books  and 
magazines  on  it.  The  room  was  not  large  but  it  was 
pleasantly  furnished  with  English  looking  cretonnes, 
comfortable  looking  chairs  and  a  Persian  carpet  cov- 
ering the  whole  floor. 

"What  is  your  name?"  Frau  Plessen  said  to  me, 
and  I  told  her  that  it  was  Sarah  Danvers.  She  gave 
a  little  start,  glanced  swiftly  at  her  husband,  looked 
at  me  from  head  to  foot  and  said : 

"Why  Sarah  ?"  She  pronounced  it  more  like  Sarrah 
and  in  her  guttural  voice  it  sounded  ugly. 

"It  was  my  mother's  name,"  I  said. 

"Was  your  mother  a  Jewess?" 

I  said  no,  and  I  spoke  without  emphasis  and  in  a 
low  tone  as  we  English  do  when  we  are  taken  aback. 

"I  am  extremely  anti-Semitic,"  she  said,  and 
bridled.  At  least  she  seemed  to  throw  up  her  head 
and  draw  in  her  chin,  and  when  people  did  that  Aunt 


IRON   COUSINS  31 

Susan  used  to  say  they  bridled  and  that  it  was  a 
gesture  she  particularly  disliked. 

I  waited  in  silence  and  hoped  she  would  change  the 
subject  because  it  was  not  one  in  which  I  had  any 
interest  or  could  speak  with  feeling.  I  had  read  about 
Jews  in  the  Bible  and  in  Ivanhoe  and  I  knew  the 
Davids  and  liked  them,  but  I  was  neither  the  partisan 
nor  the  enemy  of  the  race. 

"You  do  not  look  Jewish,"  Frau  Plessen  continued, 
"but  why  Sarah  ?  Can  you  assure  me  that  you  are  of 
Christian  descent?" 

"How  far  back  do  you  want  to  go  ?"  I  asked.  "Be- 
cause a  friend  of  my  aunt's  wrote  a  pamphlet  to  prove 
that  the  English  were  the  descendants  of  the  lost 
tribes.  You  see  if  he  proved  his  case  .  .  ." 

"Papperlapap"  said  Herr  Plessen  unexpectedly,  "I 
am  hungry,  wife.  What  time  shall  we  eat?" 

Frau  Plessen's  eyes  were  well  shaped  and  a  good 
gray,  but  like  her  manner  hard  and  chilly.  She  had 
a  large  mouth,  excellent  teeth,  what  Germans  call  a 
potato  nose  and  a  poor  complexion.  She  told  her 
husband  that  dinner  would  be  served  in  half  an  hour 
and  that  there  was  just  time  for  him  to  have  the  hot 
bath  he  always  desired  after  a  journey.  She  then 
rose  and  signaled  to  me  to  follow  her,  and  as  we 
walked  along  the  narrow  corridor  of  the  flat  she 
asked  me  what  experience  I  had  had  in  teaching  and 
the  care  of  children. 


BEFORE  I  could  answer,  Frau  Plessen  opened 
the  door  of  a  large  bedroom  in  which  I  saw 
three  wooden  bedsteads,  three  chests  of 
drawers,  three  washstands,  three  chairs,  an  antique 
dark  wooden  hanging  cupboard  and  a  well  polished 
painted  floor.  There  was  only  one  mirror,  framed 
in  tarnished  gilt  and  placed  in  a  bad  light  behind  one 
of  the  washstands.  Still  the  room  looked  spacious, 
clean  and  comfortable,  and  it  would  have  been  cheer- 
ful if  the  paint  had  not  been  a  muddy  brown  and  the 
walls  as  well  as  the  ceiling  papered  with  bilious  brown- 
ish greens. 

"How  nice!"  I  said.  "It  looks  as  if  it  was  ready 
for  the  three  bears." 

"It  is  ready  for  you  and  my  two  daughters,"  said 
Frau  Plessen  frostily.  "In  your  last  situation  .  .  ." 

"This  is  my  first  situation,"  I  said  hurriedly.  "I 
have  never  been  from  home  before.  Herr  Plessen 
knows  that.  He  came  to  see  my  aunt." 

"It  is  possible  to  live  at  home  and  yet  to  have  some 
experience  in  teaching  and  the  care  of  children,"  Frau 
Plessen  pointed  out,  and  then  sat  down  on  one  of  the 
three  chairs.  She  did  not  ask  me  to  sit  down,  but  I 
did  so. 

"How  old  are  you?"  she  said. 
32 


IRON   COUSINS  33 

"I  was  twenty  last  October,"  I  said. 

"It  is  too  young.  I  told  my  husband  I  wanted  a 
young  person  of  discretion.  Why  were  you  with 
your  aunt?  What  has  happened  to  your  parents?" 

"They  died  when  I  was  a  child." 

"Has  your  aunt  a  family  of  her  own?" 

"No,  she  is  unmarried." 

"The  aunt  then  has  brought  you  up.  You  have 
lived  with  her  till  now  ?" 

"Yes." 

"But  you  have  not  been  trained  as  a  teacher?" 

"No." 

"In  that  case  you  cannot  teach.  What  can  you 
do?" 

It  was  an  embarrassing  question  for  I  began  to 
think  that  from  Frau  Plessen's  point  of  view  I  could 
do  nothing. 

"I  thought  you  wanted  me  to  talk  English  to  the 
children  and  to  look  after  them,"  I  said. 

Frau  Plessen  hardly  answered  and  I  got  the  im- 
pression that  I  was  not  in  the  least  what  she  expected 
or  desired.  In  fact,  I  wondered  whether  it  was  worth 
while  unpacking  my  trunk  and  if  after  consulting  or 
reproaching  her  husband  she  would  request  me  to 
depart  by  the  next  steamer.  However,  she  said 
nothing  more  at  the  moment  because  two  little  girls 
dashed  into  the  room  and  stopped  petrified  on  the 
threshold  when  they  saw  their  mother  and  a  stranger. 
I  got  up  and  went  towards  them.  They  were  attrac- 
tive looking  children  with  friendly  blue  eyes,  a  fresh 
color  and  fair  hair  plaited  in  thick  pigtails ;  and  when 
I  shook  hands  with  them  they  made  me  a  little  bob 
and  said  "How  do  you  do"  in  English.  Then  each 


34  IRON   COUSINS 

of  them  shook  hands  with  their  mother  and  made  a 
bob  to  her. 

"This  is  your  new  governess,  Miss  Danvers,"  said 
Frau  Plessen,  and  reminding  me  that  dinner  would 
be  ready  in  ten  minutes,  she  left  us  to  ourselves. 

"What  are  your  names?"  I  said  by  way  of  a  be- 
ginning. 

"I  am  Olga,"  said  the  elder  one. 

"I  am  Trudi,"  said  the  other,  and  then  they  looked 
at  each  other  and  giggled  as  children  do  when  they 
feel  shy. 

I  felt  shy  myself,  for  except  at  school  I  had  not 
been  used  to  children,  and  I  wondered  whether  I 
ought  to  help  them  get  ready  for  dinner.  I  thought 
they  stared  rather  hard  when  I  went  to  the  washstand 
appointed  to  me  and  poured  out  some  water,  so  I 
asked  them  if  they  did  not  mean  to  wash  their  hands. 
They  had  taken  off  their  hats  and  without  the  help 
of  a  mirror  had  just  touched  their  hair  with  a  brush. 

"It  is  not  allowed  to  wash  in  here  during  the  day," 
said  Olga,  and  put  away  her  brush  in  a  drawer. 

It  was  not  for  me  to  make  rules  in  the  house  or 
if  I  could  help  it  to  break  them  so  I  said  nothing,  but 
tidied  my  own  hair  and  then  intimated  that  I  was 
ready  to  go  into  dinner.  But  Trudi  pointed  a  warning 
finger  to  my  hat  and  traveling  coat  which  I  had  left 
upon  my  bed. 

"It  is  not  allowed  to  leave  one's  clothes  upon  the 
bed,"  she  said. 

"Trudi!" 

The  elder  child's  tone  was  one  of  reproof,  but  Trudi 
paid  no  attention.  On  the  contrary,  she  continued 
to  train  me  in  the  way  I  should  go.  I  had  left  my 


IRON   COUSINS  35 

hand-bag  askew  on  the  chest  of  drawers  with  the 
brush  and  comb  I  had  taken  out  beside  it.  She  put 
back  the  brush  and  comb,  shut  the  bag  and  removed 
it  to  a  chair. 

"It  is  not  allowed  to  have  anything  upon  the  chest 
of  drawers,"  she  said.  "It  makes  more  trouble  for 
Marie  when  she  dusts." 

"But  now  that  Miss  Danvers  has  come  Marie  will 
not  dust.  Miss  Danvers  will  dust,"  argued  Olga. 

The  two  little  girls  were  standing  close  together 
now  and  staring  at  me  with  the  unabashed  curiosity 
of  their  years. 

"Miss  Danvers  has  not  the  appearance  of  one  who 
dusts,"  said  Trudi,  and  she  whispered  something  in 
German  to  her  sister  who  nodded  doubtfully.  Then 
they  both  began  to  giggle  again. 

"It  is  not  allowed  to  giggle  in  the  presence  of  your 
elders,"  I  said  mimicking  Trudi's  solemn  tone  when 
she  chid  me. 

"Giggle!"  one  of  them  cried.     "What  is  giggle?" 

But  they  pronounced  it  more  like  kikkle,  and  while 
I  was  trying  to  make  them  say  the  word  as  I  did 
and  they  could  hardly  speak  at  all  for  laughing,  a 
gong  was  sounded  and  both  children  ran  ahead  of 
me  into  the  corridor. 

I  followed  them  into  the  dining-room  where  we 
found  Herr  and  Frau  Plessen  and  the  two  boys  who 
were  presented  to  me  as  Oscar  and  Arthur.  Each 
boy  put  his  heels  together,  made  me  a  deep  bow  and 
shook  hands.  I  felt  inclined  to  make  them  a  deep 
curtsey  in  return  but  refrained  while  their  mother's 
frosty  eye  was  upon  us.  I  wondered  why  we  did  not 
sit  down  to  table  at  once  for  the  soup  was  there  and 


36  IRON   COUSINS 

Herr  Plessen  was  impatiently  walking  up  and  down 
the  room  just  as  the  lions  and  tigers  at  the  Zoo  do 
in  their  cages  at  feeding  time.  But  on  looking  more 
closely  at  the  table  I  saw  that  it  was  laid  for  eight 
and  just  as  Herr  Plessen  had  come  to  a  standstill  and 
told  us  to  take  our  places,  a  young  man  entered  the 
room  and  going  up  to  him  affectionately  kissed  him 
on  both  cheeks  and  welcomed  him  home  again. 

"My  nephew,  Herr  Heiling,"  said  Frau  Plessen  to 
me,  and  when  the  young  man  had  made  his  bow  but 
had  not  shaken  hands,  we  sat  down  to  dinner. 

I  shall  always  remember  that  first  meal  in  a  foreign 
city  although  it  was  in  no  way  elaborate  or  remark- 
able. First  we  had  an  excellent  soup  with  the  narrow 
home-made  macaroni  in  it  that  Americans  call  noodles. 
Then  the  longest  dish  with  the  longest  piece  of  beef 
I  had  ever  seen  arrived,  and  rising  to  his  feet  to  get 
at  it  better  Herr  Plessen  plunged  his  fork  into  one 
end  and  cut  the  whole  into  slices.  When  he  had  fin- 
ished he  passed  the  dish  to  his  wife  who  sat  next  to 
him  while  the  maid  who  waited  on  us  handed  round 
mountains  of  asparagus  and  little  new  potatoes  just 
browned  in  butter.  I  sat  between  Olga  and  Trudi, 
and  by  the  time  the  long  dish  came  to  me  I  had 
noticed  that  Frau  Plessen  and  Herr  Heiling  both  cut 
their  meat  into  small  pieces  before  they  began  to  eat 
it  and  that  as  they  did  so  they  grasped  the  fork 
firmly  in  the  hollow  of  the  hand  and  held  it  fixed  and 
upright  in  the  meat.  I  imitated  them.  I  didn't  find  it 
as  easy  as  it  looked,  but  when  I  was  a  child  Aunt 
Susan  had  told  me  the  story  of  the  prince  who  drank 
his  tea  out  of  the  saucer  because  his  hostess  who  knew 
no  better  did  so.  I  had  even  heard  her  pronounce 


IRON   COUSINS  37 

a  word  incorrectly  rather  than  mortify  an  interlocutor 
whose  education  was  not  her  affair.  So  I  thought  that 
as  I  was  in  Hamburg  I  would  do  as  the  Hamburgers 
did  even  if  it  was  difficult,  and  I  was  glad  to  observe 
that  in  this  household  no  one  attempted  those  con- 
juring tricks  with  knives  that  I  had  seen  done  at  the 
Davids'  by  raw  recruits  from  the  Fatherland.  Herr 
Plessen  had  tucked  a  corner  of  his  large  fine  dinner 
napkin  into  his  collar  and  the  two  boys  did  like- 
wise, but  Frau  Plessen  and  the  rest  of  us  ate  with- 
out protection.  The  children  did  not  eat  well.  They 
lapped  their  soup  up  noisily,  scraped  their  meat 
plate  with  their  knives  and  drank  with  artless  gasps 
and  gurgles  of  satisfaction.  I  did  not  think  it  would 
be  seemly  for  me  to  reprove  them  in  the  presence 
of  their  parents  especially  as  I  had  the  impression 
that  the  parents  disapproved  of  me.  You  know 
how  eloquently  this  may  be  conveyed  without  the 
use  of  words.  When  I  was  cutting  up  my  meat  I 
raised  my  eyes  and  saw  that  they  were  both  watch- 
ing me  and  I  knew  I  must  be  doing  it  badly  because 
they  exchanged  glances  that,  though  they  were  not 
addressed  to  me,  were  withering.  "Be  calm  in  the 
moment  of  danger,"  I  said  to  myself  and  tugged  at 
a  vindictive  end  of  gristle  that  would  not  be  sepa- 
rated from  the  meat  in  a  well  behaved  way  but  sud- 
denly flung  itself  off  the  plate  and  on  the  spotless 
cloth.  A  catastrophe  of  magnitude  and  me  the  of- 
fender! I  turned  scarlet,  the  boys  began  to  giggle, 
Frau  Plessen  looked  at  me  severely,  her  husband 
gloomed  and  Trudi  said  in  her  shrill  clear  voice : 

"When  we  soill  things  on  the  cloth  mother  calls  us 
little  pigs." 


38  IRON   COUSINS 

"I'm  so  sorry,"  I  said,  and  looking  up  again  I  met 
Herr  Heiling's  eyes  fixed  on  me  with  amusement. 
At  first  he  had  had  no  eyes  for  me  at  all  and  I  had 
thought  his  manner  when  he  was  presented  decidedly 
cavalier.  He  was  a  good-looking  young  man,  having 
a  clean  shaven  face,  hazel  eyes  and  pleasant  features. 
His  manner  was  one  of  complete  assurance,  his  voice 
was  high  and  nasal,  he  evidently  went  to  an  expensive 
but  a  German  tailor,  and  I  guessed  that  in  Hamburg 
he  was  a  person  of  fashion.  He  seemed  to  be  on  ex- 
cellent terms  with  his  young  cousins  and  I  counted 
that  in  his  favor.  But  somehow  he  had  done  more 
than  any  of  the  others  to  make  me  feel  that  my  posi- 
tion in  this  household  was  betwixt  and  between. 

"I  have  been  often  in  England,"  said  Herr  Plessen 
magisterially,  "but  I  never  saw  anyone  there  hold  his 
fork  as  you  held  yours  just  now." 

"I  never  did  it  before,"  I  said,  "when  I  get  more 
used  to  it  .  .  ." 

"We  do  not  wish  you  to  get  used  to  it,"  said  Frau 
Plessen.  "We  only  do  it  ourselves  at  the  Familicn- 
tisch.  In  society  we  should  not  dream  of  it.  I  was 
appalled  when  I  saw  you  were  eating  in  such  a  way. 
We  expect  you  to  have  English  table  manners  and 
to  teach  them  with  thoroughness  to  the  children." 

"You  know  now,  Kinder,"  said  Herr  Heiling. 
"You  keep  your  eyes  on  Miss  Danvers  and  imitate 
everything  she  does.  So!"  He  stared  hard  at  me 
and  when  I  lifted  my  glass  of  water  to  my  lips  he 
lifted  his  glass  of  Pilsener  beer  and  drank. 

"So!"  cried  all  the  children  in  chorus  and  lifted 
their  glasses  too;  but  Olga,  seeing  an  enormous  dish 
of  strawberries  arrive  flourished  her  glass  in  welcome 
V 


IRON   COUSINS  39 

of  them  and  splashed  most  of  the  water  in  it  on  my 
plate  and  the  cloth.  If  I  had  not  pushed  my  chair 
back  swiftly  I  should  have  received  more  than  I  did 
in  my  face. 

"Na!"  said  Frau  Plessen,  "if  this  is  English  be- 
havior at  meals  I  want  no  more  of  it.  Look  at  the 
state  of  the  cloth  between  Olga  and  Miss  Danvers." 


VI 


THE  Plessens  were  evidently  wealthy  people  and 
they  lived  in  an  expensive  flat  in  the  best 
part  of  Hamburg,  but  the  flat  was  not  large 
enough  to  allow  the  children  and  me  a  sitting-room 
to  ourselves.  At  any  rate  we  did  not  have  one.  In 
the  morning  I  was  expected,  as  Trudi  had  foreseen, 
to  tidy  our  bedroom  and  then  to  sit  there  and  sew; 
and  in  the  afternoons  I  was  either  out  of  doors  with 
the  children  or  teaching  them  English  in  the  dining- 
room.  I  generally  sat  by  myself  in  the  dining-room 
after  my  pupils  went  to  bed  and  I  found  that  the 
dreariest  part  of  the  twenty-four  hours. 

I  did  not  tell  Aunt  Susan  that  I  had  to  do  a  bed- 
room for  three  people  and  sit  there  half  the  day  mak- 
ing and  mending  clothes.  When  Frau  Plessen  told 
me  that  these  duties  would  devolve  on  me  I  expressed 
the  surprise  I  felt  and  said  that  I  was  not  qualified 
as  a  housemaid  or  a  sewing  maid.  But  she  observed 
that  I  was  not  a  qualified  teacher  either  and  that  I 
should  probably  turn  out  not  worth  my  salt.  It  was 
a  question  which  of  us  gave  way  and  I  only  had  to 
look  at  Frau  Plessen  to  know  that  it  would  not  be 
her.  When  I  had  looked  at  her  I  looked  out  of  the 
window  at  the  Alster,  as  I  had  done  when  I  first 
arrived,  and  the  longer  I  looked  the  more  delectable 
seemed  the  city  of  Hamburg  and  the  amenities  of 
40 


IRON   COUSINS  41 

life  there,  even  for  a  penniless  young  woman  being 
bested  by  her  employer.  After  all,  what  did  it 
matter?  Besides  there  was  something  to  be  said  for 
Frau  Plessen's  point  of  view.  Her  husband  had 
brought  me  from  England  in  order  to  fill  a  gap  in 
the  household  staff  and  by  my  own  showing  I  was 
not  competent  to  fill  it.  I  had  never  done  any  house- 
work, I  had  never  done  any  dress-making,  I  was  not 
a  musician  or  a  linguist.  It  was  depressing  to  find 
out  how  small  my  market  value  was  and  by  the  time 
I  had  discussed  the  situation  with  Frau  Plessen  for 
half  an  hour  I  understood  that  she  was  magnaminous 
to  keep  me  at  all  in  return  for  the  unskilled  services 
I  could  render.  I  was  made  to  see  this  so  clearly  that 
I  did  not  like  to  say  anything  about  the  salary  Herr 
Plessen  had  promised  me;  the  small  salary  at  which 
Aunt  Susan  had  sniffed.  I  supposed  it  would  be  paid 
when  the  time  came.  During  the  war  between  Russia 
and  Japan  I  had  been  told  about  a  great  Japanese 
general  who  in  his  youth  had  served  as  a  waiter  in  an 
English  hotel  because  he  wanted  to  see  England  and 
had  to  maintain  himself  there.  The  thought  of  him 
heartened  me  tremendously  and  I  hoped  it  was  a  true 
story  and  that  he  had  found  his  early  experiences 
were  worth  while.  At  first  the  disadvantages  of  my 
position  did  not  weigh  as  much  as  a  feather  com- 
pared with  the  joy  of  waking  every  morning  in  Ham- 
burg instead  of  in  Chelsea.  I  made  up  my  mind  that 
I  would  stay  as  long  as  I  was  happy  and  go  home 
when  I  became  unhappy,  and  this  seemed  such  an 
easy  sensible  way  of  facing  the  future  that  I  took 
every  day  as  it  came  and  usually  got  through  it  pretty 
well. 


42  IRON   COUSINS 

I  did  not  find  Frau  Plessen  a  pleasant  person  to 
deal  with.  She  was  not  actively  unkind  and  she  was 
an  efficient  housekeeper  who  provided  everyone  with 
good  food  and  good  beds.  But  her  ideas  of  caste 
were  hide  bound  and  excluded  me  from  any  inter- 
course that  was  not  strictly  business-like.  She  kept 
me  hard  at  work  while  the  children  were  at  school, 
never  took  them  off  my  hands  when  they  came  home 
and  yet  was  never  satisfied.  Apparently,  my  prede- 
cessor, the  Mamsell,  had  done  a  great  many  things 
in  the  house  that  I  did  not  do  and  comparisons  were 
drawn  between  us  to  my  disadvantage.  One  morning 
when  I  had  taken  Olga  and  Trudi  to  school  I  was 
told  on  my  return  that  it  was  a  day  of  unusual  stress 
in  the  kitchen  and  that  I  must  lend  a  hand  there.  A 
large  quantity  of  gooseberries  for  bottling  had  ar- 
rived and  it  was  necessary  to  prepare  them  at  once. 
So  I  put  on  a  long  muslin  apron,  went  into  the  kitchen 
and  sat  down  to  top  and  tail  gooseberries.  I  did  not 
mind  in  the  least  because  it  gave  me  a  chance  of 
looking  at  the  kitchen  and  seeing  a  German  cook  at 
work.  But  I  was  surprised  that  Frau  Plessen  did 
not  help  us.  I  had  always  heard  that  the  German 
housewife  worked  with  her  own  hands  and  I  knew 
that  Mrs.  David  often  had  differences  with  her  Eng- 
lish maids  because  she  was  "about  the  kitchen"  too 
much  to  please  them.  Frau  Plessen  came  in  and  out 
a  good  deal  but  it  was  to  give  orders,  superintend 
operations  and  find  fault.  I  had  not  heard  servants 
scolded  as  she  scolded  hers  but  they  seemed  to  take 
it  in  the  day's  work,  only  murmuring  when  she  went 
away  that  she  was  bbse  this  morning.  Two  were 
kept  and  I  never  saw  one  of  them  idle  for  a  moment. 


IRON   COUSINS  43 

I  thought  they  had  a  hard  life  and  I  liked  them  both 
and  felt  sorry  for  them.  Nothing  seemed  to  be  done 
for  their  ease  and  not  much  for  their  well  being. 
There  was  not  a  comfortable  chair  in  the  kitchen  or 
for  that  matter  in  my  bedroom  either.  They  hardly 
ever  went  out,  they  rose  at  cock-crow,  they  toiled  late 
and  they  were  always  anxious  to  please,  and  smiling. 
When  I  could  I  practiced  my  imperfect  German  on 
them  and  they  took  everything  I  said  as  a  joke  and 
often  with  peals  of  friendly  laughter.  This  morning 
my  pronunciation  of  the  German  word  for  goose- 
berries which  is  Stachelbeeren  tickled  them  to  tears 
and  when  they  had  recovered  from  that  they  wanted 
to  know  whether  we  had  gooseberries  in  England  and 
what  we  did  with  them.  I  tried  to  explain  the  process 
of  making  gooseberry  fool  but  I  did  not  know  the 
German  word  for  a  sieve  and  I  felt  sure  that  one  was 
required.  I  got  up  for  a  moment  to  find  one  and  as 
I  did  so  the  front  door  bell  rang.  Marie  went  to 
answer  it  and  Sophie  took  a  large  flat  tin  out  of  the 
oven  covered  with  gooseberry  tartlets.  One  was  con- 
siderably larger  than  the  rest  and  she  cut  this  into 
three  pieces  and  offered  me  one  piece  smoking  hot. 
I  thought  I  should  burn  my  fingers  and  hesitated. 

"hnmer  zu,"  she  said  encouragingly.  "She  is  out. 
I  heard  the  door  slam." 

To  what  had  I  descended?  And  did  the  Japanese 
general  have  surreptitious  dainties  thrust  upon  him 
behind  a  kitchen  door,  and  when  he  was  hungry?  It 
was  midday  now  and  I  was  always  as  hungry  as  a 
wolf  by  midday  because  we  had  breakfast  early;  the 
light  delicious  continental  breakfast  of  coffee  and 
fresh  rolls.  I  had  been  told  that  many  Hamburg 


44  IRON   COUSINS 

people  had  lunch  at  twelve,  dinner  at  four  or  five  and 
a  supper  of  kickshaws  with  beer  at  nine  or  ten.  But 
the  Plessens  dined  at  one  with  the  children  and  me, 
and  had  afternoon  tea  at  five  and  another  meal  by 
themselves  at  seven.  While  they  were  having  this 
evening  meal  I  was  busy  putting  the  children  to  bed 
so  that  by  the  time  I  got  back  to  the  dining-room 
it  was  empty  and  the  table  cleared.  Marie  brought 
me  something  to  eat  on  a  tray  then;  usually  thick 
slices  of  gray  bread,  thin  slices  of  sausage  and  a  small 
slender  bottle  of  Pilsener  beer,  presumably  the  supper 
they  had  in  the  kitchen  themselves.  I  used  to  eat 
the  bread  and  sausage  and  leave  the  beer,  but  I  had 
not  asked  for  anything  else  to  drink  instead  of  it. 
I  suppose  I  did  not  hold  my  own  with  Frau  Plessen 
as  much  as  I  should  have  done  but  I  regarded  the 
whole  experience  as  an  adventure  and  was  determined 
to  take  the  rough  with  the  smooth  until  the  rough 
troubled  me  more  than  the  smooth  amused  me. 

It  was  in  this  mood  that  I  stood  in  the  kitchen 
eating  hot  gooseberry  tart  when  the  door  opened  and 
Herr  Heiling  appeared  followed  by  Sophie.  I  was 
so  astonished  that  I  stared  at  him,  and  probably 
showed  some  confusion  and  annoyance,  for  he  smiled 
in  the  way  people  smile  when  they  catch  someone  else 
doing  that  which  should  not  be  done,  and  there  is  no 
doubt  that  I  was  not  supposed  to  be  standing  idly  in 
Frau  Plessen's  kitchen  eating  hot  pastry  shortly  before 
dinner  when  my  share  of  the  pastry  would  be  handed 
to  me  in  a  decorous  manner  on  a  dish. 

"Schones  Fraiilein!"  he  began  and  I,  taken  aback 
by  his  tone,  probably  showed  the  surprise  I  felt.  At 
any  rate  he  changed  it,  as  I,  having  relinquished  most 


IRON    COUSINS  45 

of  my  gooseberry  tart,  preceded  him  into  the  dining- 
room. 

"I  have  a  message  for  my  aunt,"  he  said.  "I 
thought  I  had  better  give  it  to  you  and  not  to  Marie/' 

I  waited  for  the  message. 

"You  have  not  opened  your  lips  yet  even  to  say 
good-morning,"  he  complained. 

His  manner  startled  me  again.  When  he  arrived 
in  the  kitchen  it  had  been  merry  and  assured,  rather 
more  assured  than  I  could  stand,  and  now  it  was  still 
assured  but  it  was  no  longer  merry.  He  seemed  to 
be  seeking  something  from  me  that  I  had  not  given 
and  his  voice  for  the  first  time  since  we  had  met  had 
a  personal  note  in  it  that  was  both  provocative  and 
friendly. 

"If  you  will  give  me  the  message  I  will  deliver  it," 
I  said. 

"I  am  not  coming  to  dinner  to-day,"  he  announced. 

"What  else?" 

"Nothing  else." 

It  was  absurd  and  he  knew  it.  As  a  rule  he  dined 
with  us  every  day.  His  house  was  on  the  outer  Alster 
and  his  place  of  business  close  by,  so  the  arrangement 
suited  him.  But  he  often  accepted  other  invitations 
or  entertained  friends  at  a  restaurant  or  a  hotel.  I 
got  the  impression  from  the  Plessens  that  he  was 
one  of  the  young  bloods  of  Hamburg,  the  son  of  rich 
people  and  for  his  own  sake  greatly  in  request.  I 
liked  him  myself  although  I  thought  him  spoiled  and 
rather  conceited.  But  his  good  spirits  were  infectious 
and  his  looks  grew  upon  one.  The  Plessens  talked 
of  him  as  if  he  was  the  Apollo  Belvidere  but  that 
was  nonsense.  He  was  a  personable  young  man  as 


46  IRON   COUSINS 

I  have  said  already  but  not  in  any  way  remarkable. 
I  had  hardly  noticed  his  eyes  until  they  sought  mine 
this  morning  with  more  insistence  and  attention  than 
I  was  ready  to  reciprocate.  Then  I  saw  that  they  were 
beguiling  and  that  they  could  be  eloquent. 

"Why  are  we  standing?"  he  said.  "Come  and  sit 
down  near  the  window  and  tell  me  how  you  like  Ham- 
burg and  what  you  have  seen." 

He  moved  towards  the  window  as  if  he  felt  sure 
that  I  should  follow  him  but  I  did  not  do  so. 

"I  will  give  your  message  but  I  cannot  stay  here," 
I  said.  "I  am  busy  in  the  kitchen." 

"What  are  you  doing  there?  My  aunt  has  told 
me  more  than  once  that  you  cannot  cook.  She  says 
your  ignorance  is  hair-raising  and  that  she  discovered 
the  other  day  that  you  had  never  seen  a  nutmeg." 

"Have  you  ever  seen  a  nutmeg?" 

"Never,  but  then  I  shall  never  have  to  keep  house." 

"After  all,"  I  pointed  out,  "when  the  time  comes 
for  me  to  run  a  house  I  shall  be  able  to  do  it  in  the 
English  way.  I  am  not  going  to  spend  my  life  in 
Germany." 

"How  do  you  know  ?  A  woman  never  knows  where 
she  will  spend  her  life.  Suppose  a  German  fell  in 
love  with  you?" 


VII 

HE  made  me  angry.  "Suppose  a  German  fell 
in  love  with  me !"  Suppose  he  did  and  sup- 
pose I  did  not  fall  in  love  with  the  German  ? 
I  was  just  going  to  answer  in  this  way  when  Frau 
Plessen  surprised  us  together,  and  on  thinking  it  over 
calmly  I  was  glad  that  she  did  because  such  a  riposte 
would  have  been  undignified  and  juvenile.  But  Frau 
Plessen  was  not  pleased  to  find  me  in  the  dining-room 
talking  to  her  nephew. 

"Miss  Danvers!  You  here!  Are  the  gooseberries 
finished  then?" 

I  did  not  answer.  I  left  it  to  Herr  Heiling  to  give 
his  own  explanation  and  went  out  of  the  room.  It 
was  time  to  fetch  the  little  girls  from  school  and  as 
I  put  on  my  hat  in  front  of  the  glass  I  was  amazed 
at  my  own  appearance.  I  actually  looked  angry.  My 
color  had  risen  and  my  eyes  had  lights  in  them  that 
I  had  hardly  ever  seen  there. 

I  wished  I  had  had  a  wider  experience  of  young 
men  and  their  ways,  and  knew  better  how  to  deal  with 
this  one.  He  must  learn  that  I  was  not  a  chamber- 
maid to  be  chucked  under  the  chin  when  no  one  was 
there  that  mattered.  Perhaps  he  had  learned  that 
already  for  his  manner  in  the  dining-room  had  been 
quite  unlike  his  manner  in  the  kitchen  when  he  had 
called  me  schones  Frailldn.  Did  he  think  that  I  was 
47 


48  IRON   COUSINS 

going  to  answer  as  Gretchen  did  that  I  was  "weder 
Fraulein,  weder  schon?" 

I  was  not  as  well  born  as  the  Japanese  general  who 
acted  as  a  waiter  but  I  had  some  pride  of  caste.  The 
more  fool  me  I  dare  say,  since  I  had  no  money  to 
support  it  and  was  in  a  foreign  land  performing  such 
menial  tasks  as  the  topping  and  tailing  of  gooseber- 
ries for  a  woman  with  diamond  rings  and  a  bad 
tempered  mouth.  What  misleading  nonsense  Mrs. 
David  had  talked  about  my  being  one  of  the  family. 
I  was  nothing  of  the  kind,  nor  was  I  one  of  the 
kitchen.  While  I  put  on  my  hat  I  felt  lonely,  home- 
sick and  indignant,  but  directly  I  got  out  of  doors  I 
was  glad  I  had  left  home.  For  whatever  happened 
I  should  have  this  to  carry  with  me  as  long  as  I 
lived :  this  picture  of  a  German  city  on  a  summer  day. 
The  flashing  water,  the  little  sail  boats,  the  steamers, 
the  broad  pavements  on  either  side  of  the  road,  cars, 
carts,  carriages  thronging  the  Jungfernstieg  at  this 
hour  of  the  morning,  men  of  affairs  hurrying  home 
to  lunch  or  dinner,  expensive-looking  shops  with  four 
or  five  floors  of  flats  above  them,  hotels,  little  boys 
mostly  wearing  spectacles,  and  carrying  satchels  on 
their  way  home  from  school,  girls,  too,  in  groups  chat- 
tering German  as  I  passed  them,  hot  sunshine,  a 
cloudless  sky  and,  when  I  came  to  a  market  place, 
some  remains  of  the  morning's  fruit  and  vegetables, 
and  Vierwalderinnen  in  their  broad  hats  and  bright 
full  skirts  still  chaffering  at  the  stalls.  I  made  up  my 
mind  that  morning  that  I  would  go  on  as  I  had  begun. 
I  was  poor  but  I  would  see  the  world.  I  would  not 
live  like  a  weevil  in  a  biscuit.  When  I  was  tired  of 
Germany  I  would  go  to  Paris  and  then  to  Italy.  In 


IRON   COUSINS  49 

between  I  would  run  back  to  London  and  visit  Aunt 
Susan  because  she  was  getting  old  and  I  loved  her. 
Perhaps  I  ought  to  stay  with  her  instead  of  traveling ! 
Another  phrase  of  Stevenson's  came  into  my  mind 
as  I  turned  into  the  quiet  street  where  Olga  and  Trudi 
went  to  school,  a  phrase  about  duty  and  inclination 
coming  nobly  to  the  grapple.  Perhaps  the  best  was 
not  to  look  ahead.  Life  must  hold  leaves  I  had  not 
turned  yet.  I  thought  of  myself  as  leading  it  singly, 
I  suppose,  because  I  had  lived  mostly  with  a  single 
woman.  But  people  did  fall  in  love  and  marry.  In 
novels  and  plays  they  did  even  when  they  were  poor, 
but  not  often  in  real  life  unless  they  belonged  to  the 
working  classes.  At  any  rate  I  was  nearly  twenty- 
one  and  had  never  had  an  offer  of  marriage  or  even 
a  flirtation.  Aunt  Susan  and  I  did  not  know  any 
young  men  and  though  the  little  Hungarian  had  made 
dog's  eyes  at  me  he  had  not  asked  me  to  marry  him. 
I  never  have  thought  much  of  my  looks  and  I  have 
always  envied  the  women  who  see  in  the  mirror  a 
tall  commanding  presence,  violet  eyes,  cherry  lips, 
golden  hair  and  a  color  like  a  brier  rose.  It  sounds 
horrid  in  a  catalogue,  as  horrid  as  the  page  of  an 
illustrated  paper  showing  stage  ladies  in  tights  and 
with  smiles  and  teeth.  Still  you  can  imagine  the  type 
of  beauty  I  aspire  to  be  and  will  know  how  far  I 
come  short  of  it  when  I  tell  you  that  my  hair  is 
light  brown  .  .  .  just  light  brown  .  .  .  my  eyes  any 
color  .  .  .  green  or  gray  according  to  my  mood  or 
the  weather  .  .  .  and  my  other  features  indifferent 
good  but  unremarkable  and  rather  small.  I  am  neither 
tall  nor  short  ...  I  am  thin  .  .  .  thin  enough  for 
England  .  .  .  too  thin  for  Germany  ...  I  walk 


50  IRON   COUSINS 

well  .  .  .  my  dancing  mistress  said  I  did  .  .  .  and 
I  know  how  to  choose  my  clothes.  Mrs.  David  always 
told  me  that  because  Isabella's  clothes  were  a  great 
trial  to  her  mother  when  she  began  to  have  an  allow- 
ance and  buy  her  own.  She  had  no  imagination  and 
bought  things  that  look  well  on  other  people  but  did 
not  suit  her.  Frau  Plessen  did  much  the  same.  She 
was  not  in  the  least  like  Isabella.  She  fancied  herself 
more  than  any  woman  I  have  ever  seen  and  she  evi- 
dently spent  a  great  deal  on  her  clothes.  Sometimes 
they  were  handsome  and  becoming  but  sometimes 
they  were  grotesque.  They  were  worst  of  all  when 
they  were  supposed  to  be  "sporting"  and  presumably 
English.  She  was  a  very  German-looking  woman 
with  broad  hips,  a  wide  thick  mouth,  freckled  skin  and 
awkward  gait;  so  when  she  appeared  in  a  coat  and 
skirt  of  large  brown  and  white  checks,  yellow  tan 
boots  and  a  small  hat  with  cock's  feathers,  the  rigout 
doubtless  cost  what  she  said  it  did  but  you  wondered 
how  she  could  be  fool  enough  to  wear  it. 

When  I  got  to  the  Kindergarten  I  had  to  wait  a 
few  minutes  for  the  children,  an  interlude  I  was  be- 
ginning to  dislike  because  it  gave  a  certain  Miss  Camp- 
bell a  chance  of  accosting  me.  Miss  Campbell  had 
seen  that  I  was  English  directly  we  met,  she  had 
hailed  me  as  her  compatriot  and  by  degrees  she  had 
told  me  a  great  deal  about  her  private  affairs.  These 
showed  her  to  be  a  person  of  such  unusual  ability 
and  importance  that  I  wondered  why  she  should  be 
waiting  with  me  and  others  less  fortunate  than  me, 
for  a  child  to  take  home  from  school.  She  was  not 
a  type  I  had  come  across  before  and  I  thought  it  would 
take  Mrs.  David  with  her  wide  knowledge  of  na- 


IRON   COUSINS  51 

tionalities  to  place  her.  She  spoke  fluent  English  with 
the  most  hideous  accent  I  had  ever  heard :  German 
and  Whitechapel  so  combined  that  the  resulting  twang 
made  you  shudder.  She  was  dark,  bilious  looking  and 
plain,  but  she  did  not  seem  to  know  any  of  these 
unfortunate  facts  about  herself  for  though  her  ar- 
rogance was  of  a  different  quality  from  Frau  Plessen's 
it  seemed  to  be  equally  sustaining.  She  told  me  that 
she  was  English  but  that  she  had  lived  a  great  deal 
in  Paris  with  a  married  sister  called  Wolf  and  that 
her  brother-in-law,  Monsieur  Wolf,  was  one  of  the 
most  influential  and  highly  placed  men  in  France.  It 
was  only  her  spirit  of  independence  that  led  her  to 
forsake  the  gay  and  brilliant  social  conditions  she  was 
accustomed  to  for  a  post  that  offered  her  unparalleled 
emoluments  and  opportunities.  I  am  sorry  to  use  such 
long  words  but  it  is  impossible  to  think  of  Miss  Camp- 
bell in  short  ones.  She  told  me  that  she  was  super- 
intending the  education  of  an  only  child  called 
Gisela  Crefeld  and  that  Gisela's  parents  were  the 
wealthiest  and  most  considered  people  in  Hamburg. 
She  asked  me  where  I  was  staying  and  when  I  men- 
tioned the  Plessens  she  said  she  did  not  know  them. 
I  gathered  that  this  was  derogatory  to  the  Plessens, 
but  when  I  asked  Frau  Plessen  if  she  had  ever  heard 
of  the  Crefelds  she  said  that  they  were  Jews  and 
that  she  was  not  on  visiting  terms  with  them.  Her 
tone  in  saying  this  consigned  the  Crefelds  to  limbo 
and  Miss  Campbell  with  them.  This  made  it  difficult 
for  me  to  judge  between  the  houses  but  I  remembered 
what  Aunt  Susan  told  me  about  the  Darrells  looking 
down  on  the  Danvers  because  they  were  dissenters 
and  in  trade,  and  the  Danvers  looking  down  on  the 


52  IRON   COUSINS 

Dan-ells  because  they  were  proud  and  poor.  I  believe 
that  humanity  has  a  good  deal  in  common  even  when 
it  is  as  far  apart  as  the  Elbe  and  the  Aire,  though 
I  had  never  met  anyone  in  my  own  country  quite  as 
disagreeable  and  at  the  same  time  as  assidious  in  her 
attentions  as  Miss  Campbell.  She  came  up  to  me 
the  moment  I  entered  the  room,  shook  hands  and  asked 
me  what  arrangements  I  had  made  with  Frau  Plessen 
about  going  out.  I  said  I  had  made  none  at  all. 

"But  you  must  see  to  it  at  once,"  she  said.  "You 
must  insist  on  having  time  to  yourself  when  you  can 
accept  invitations  and  meet  your  friends." 

She  reminded  me  of  the  boarder  in  Rudder  Grange. 
What  she  proposed  was  right  and  reasonable  but  be- 
cause she  proposed  it  I  did  not  want  to  do  it. 

"I  have  not  a  friend  in  Hamburg  and  I  am  sure 
that  I  shall  have  no  invitations,"  I  said. 

"I  bring  you  one  from  Frau  Crefeld,"  she  an- 
swered. "She  will  be  pleased  to  see  you  next  Sunday. 
She  lived  in  London  till  she  married  and  she  knows 
your  friends,  the  Davids.  If  you  can  come  I  will  call 
for  you  early  in  the  afternoon." 

"It  is  very  kind,"  I  said,  not  greatly  tempted. 

"Then  I  will  tell  Frau  Crefeld  that  you  will  come. 
Shall  I  call  for  you  at  three?" 

"I  must  ask  Frau  Plessen  first." 

"Not  at  all.  You  must  tell  the  good  lady  that  you 
reserve  Sunday  afternoon  and  evening  for  yourself. 
One  must  stand  on  one's  rights.  'Hammer  oder 
Ambos  sein.'" 

Olga  and  Trudi  came  running  towards  me  before 
I  could  pull  myself  together  and  say  in  a  polite  way 
that  I  could  manage  my  own  affairs.  I  had  not  even 


IRON   COUSINS  53 

made  up  my  mind  to  accept  Miss  Campbell's  invita- 
tion for  though  some  aspects  of  it  were  exhilarating 
I  did  not  take  to  her. 

"Miss  Campbell  was  at  the  Kindergarten  to-day," 
I  said  to  Frau  Plessen  when  we  were  at  dinner.  Her 
manner  was  rather  unusually  standoffish  and  when 
the  children  said  something  about  the  swimming-bath 
they  were  told  that  I  could  not  take  them  because  I 
should  be  busy  all  the  afternoon  with  gooseberries.  I 
began  to  wonder  whether  I  was  being  put  upon  and 
whether  I  ought  to  say  that  I  had  come  there  as 
governess  and  not  as  cook.  But  in  England  the  idea 
prevails  that  in  Germany  all  women  from  high  to 
low  are  eternally  engaged  in  domestic  occupations  and 
I  thought  that  if  I  objected  to  gooseberries  I  should 
be  told  that  the  Empress  invariably  prepared  them 
with  her  own  hands  for  the  Emperor. 

"Who  is  Miss  Campbell?"  said  Frau  Plessen,  and 
she  spoke  as  if  the  effort  of  remembering  the  name 
of  a  governess  in  a  Jewish  family  could  not  be  ex- 
pected of  her. 

"She  is  Gisela  Cref eld's  governess,"  said  Olga.  "I 
like  her  not." 

"Pfui!"  said  Trudi,  and  spat  out  a  cherry  stone, 
but  she  blinked  at  me  and  smiled,  agreeably  conscious 
that  what  she  said  and  did  were  both  naughty. 

"Frau  Crefeld  has  invited  me  to  go  there  next 
Sunday,"  I  continued.  "If  it  is  convenient  .  .  ." 

"Is  it  your  wish  that  Trudi  spits  out  her  cherry- 
stones?" interrupted  Oscar. 

"It  is  better  to  spit  than  to  swallow,"  argued  Trudi. 
"Papa  says  so." 

Papa  looked  up  from  his  Hamburger  Nachrichten, 


54  IRON   COUSINS 

which  he  always  read  toward  the  end  of  dinner,  and 
said  that  England  had  been  getting  in  the  way  of  Ger- 
many as  usual  and  that  she  would  some  day  find  Ger- 
man patience  exhausted. 

"Miss  Danvers  is  invited  to  the  Crefelds  next  Sun- 
day," said  Frau  Plessen  in  a  tone  that  I  could  only 
half  interpret.  She  did  not  seem  pleased,  but  I  thought 
she  seemed  impressed. 

"They  perhaps  know  your  friends  the  Davids,"  said 
Herr  Plessen.  "Frau  Crefeld  is  English," 


VIII 

1  WROTE  to  Miss  Campbell  and  accepted  Frau 
Crefeld's  invitation.  I  could  not  resist  the 
chance  of  spending  a  few  hours  in  fresh  sur- 
roundings and  of  meeting  Frau  Crefeld,  who  was 
English.  I  did  not  consider  myself  homesick.  I  still 
thought  it  a  heavenly  adventure  to  be  in  a  foreign 
land  and  I  recognized  that,  for  a  girl  without  a  penny, 
I  was  not  badly  placed.  The  children  and  servants 
were  friendly,  Herr  Plessen  was  indifferent  and  Frau 
Plessen  gave  me  plenty  to  eat.  She  issued  orders  in 
an  arrogant  tone  to  everyone  except  her  husband,  and 
I  had  heard  her  haul  him  over  the  coals  when  he  for- 
got an  engagement  or  a  commission.  The  children 
went  in  fear  and  trembling  of  their  mother  and  I 
had  no  trouble  with  them  because  they  had  been 
trained  from  infancy  to  do  as  they  were  bid.  The 
boys  I  hardly  saw  except  at  meals  and  for  an  hour 
every  afternoon  when  I  gave  them  a  conversation 
lesson.  I  did  not  teach  them  English  grammar  or 
composition  because  Frau  Plessen  said  they  would 
learn  these  rudiments  of  the  language  more  thor- 
oughly at  school.  I  asked  her  if  she  would  like  them 
to  read  a  Shakespeare  play  with  me  and  she  said  cer- 
tainly not,  because  no  one  would  read  Shakespeare  in 
English  who  could  understand  him  in  German  and 
that  when  I  knew  German  enough  I  must  approach 
55 


56  IRON   COUSINS 

the  works  of  the  world  poet  in  the  language  that  most 
completely  expressed  him.  She  did  not  wish  me  to 
read  English  poetry  with  the  children  at  all,  because 
Byron  was  not  suitable  for  the  young  and  we  had 
never  had  another  poet.  I  may  have  looked  surprised. 
At  any  rate  she  repeated  what  she  said  in  a  louder 
voice  and  gave  as  her  authority  a  lecturer  on  English 
literature  whose  course  she  had  attended  when  she  left 
school. 

"The  lecturer  must  have  been  very  ignorant,"  I  said. 

"There  is  no  such  thing  in  Germany  as  an  ignorant 
lecturer  or  an  ignorant  teacher,"  she  told  me.  "In 
France  and  England  there  is  ignorance  everywhere; 
but  not  in  Germany." 

I  did  not  carry  on  the  argument.  By  that  time  I 
had  been  some  weeks  in  Germany;  I  read  the  Ham- 
burger Nachrichtcn  every  day  as  a  disagreeable  duty, 
and  I  had  become  quite  used  to  hearing  things  said 
and  seeing  things  written  about  England  that  were  as 
stupendous  as  they  were  untrue.  I  had  no  idea  till  I 
went  to  Hamburg  that  the  Germans  were  in  a  state 
of  ferment  about  us  and  I  could  not  understand  why 
the  Plessens  wanted  me  and  the  Crefelds  wanted  Miss 
Campbell  since  we  both  belonged  to  a  nation  without 
a  redeeming  feature.  I  do  not  intend  to  dwell  on  the 
crusade  against  England  and  the  English  that  has 
been  carried  on  in  Germany  for  years  and  officially 
fomented  in  the  press  and  elsewhere.  We  know  more 
about  it  now  than  we  did  before  the  war,  but  even 
now  he  have  little  idea  of  its  extent  and  thoroughness. 
At  first  I  hardly  noticed  its  manifestations  or  felt 
them ;  but  by  degrees  it  began  to  vex  my  soul.  Then 
I  gave  up  the  Hamburger  Nachrichten  and  read  Ger- 


IRON   COUSINS  57 

man  plays  and  poems  at  night  when  I  had  a  little 
leisure.  There  were  not  many  books  about;  at  least 
Aunt  Susan  would  have  thought  so.  It  was  a  large 
handsomely  furnished  flat  belonging  to  well-to-do 
people,  but  their  whole  library  was  contained  in  a  cup- 
board with  glass  doors  standing  in  one  corner  of  the 
dining-room.  However,  I  saw  complete  editions  of 
Goethe,  Schiller,  Lessing  and  Heine  there  and  I  asked 
Frau  Plessen  if  I  might  borrow  a  volume  as  I  wanted 
it.  She  looked  decidedly  unwilling  but  said  I  could 
do  so  if  I  did  not  turn  down  the  pages  or  leave  the 
books  open  face  downwards.  I  said  I  would  not 
only  promise  that  but  I  would  have  clean  hands  when 
I  read  and  make  no  finger  marks.  She  took  this  quite 
seriously  and  showed  me  a  novel  Mamsell  had  read 
and  which  I  should  have  touched  with  a  pair  of  tongs 
if  I  had  to  touch  it  at  all.  I  could  write  a  Hymn  of 
Hate  about  people  who  use  books  badly  or  borrow 
them  and  keep  them;  but  naturally  Frau  Plessen  did 
not  know  that  I  had  been  brought  up  amongst  books. 
The  little  house  at  Chelsea  was  full  of  them  and  Aunt 
Susan  and  I  were  both  readers. 

When  Sunday  came  I  changed  my  dress  in  time 
for  dinner  so  as  to  be  ready  for  Miss  Campbell  when 
she  called  for  me.  I  put  on  one  that  Mrs.  David 
had  given  me  the  summer  before  and  which  had  been 
bought  for  Isabella.  But  for  some  reason  Isabella  had 
not  liked  it.  When  Aunt  Susan  saw  it  she  said  it 
must  have  cost  as  much  as  the  two  of  us  spent  in  a 
year  on  clothes  and  she  only  half  approved  of  my 
accepting  it.  I  never  could  feel  like  that  myself  about 
Mrs.  David,  because  it  was  natural  to  her  to  give  with 
both  hands,  especially  to  anyone  young ;  and  she  would 


58  IRON   COUSINS 

have  been  hurt  and  puzzled  if  I  had  refused.  It  was 
a  fine  white  embroidered  lawn  and  I  could  see  that  I 
did  not  look  penniless  in  it.  When  I  went  into  dinner 
wearing  it  the  others  had  sat  down  to  table  and  Marie 
was  carrying  round  the  plates  of  soup  that  Herr 
Plessen  ladled  out  of  a  big  tureen.  Frau  Plessen 
stared  at  me  sourly  and  did  not  speak.  Herr  Plessen 
seemed  to  receive  a  slight  shock,  but  not  a  disagree- 
able one,  for  I  saw  the  ghost  of  a  smile  on  his  face 
that  I  often  saw  when  a  child  did  something  it  ought 
not  to  do  and  he  was  more  inclined  to  laugh  than  to 
reprove.  Herr  Heiling  bid  me  good  morning  and  did 
not  take  his  eyes  off  me. 

"Our  Miss  has  made  herself  beautiful  to-day,"  said 
Oscar,  and  putting  his  hand  on  his  heart  he  made  me 
an  impertinent  little  bow. 

"Miss  is  at  all  times  beautiful,"  said  Trudi,  "even 
in  bed  she  is  beautiful." 

"Trudi !"  called  Frau  Plessen  sharply. 

"And  in  the  swimming-bath,"  continued  Trudi, 
whose  mind  was  so  slow  and  thorough  that  when  she 
started  on  a  theme  she  was  not  easily  diverted.  "I 
have  not  before  seen  anyone  with  such  small  white 
feet  and  also  her  legs  ..." 

"Trudi!" 

"Miss  Danvers  swims?"  said  Herr  Heiling  hur- 
riedly; but  he  was  laughing  and  so  was  I.  I  could 
not  help  it  and  I  did  not  see  why  Frau  Plessen  should 
look  so  sour.  If  you  take  a  child's  inconvenient  re- 
marks seriously  you  make  more  of  them  than  you 
need. 

"Miss  always  laughs,"  said  Arthur,  who  was  my 
favorite  amongst  the  children.  He  had  grave  blue  eyes 


IRON   COUSINS  59 

and  a  grave  way  with  him  that  attracted  me.  "Even 
when  we  make  mistakes  in  our  English  she  laughs. 
It  is  agreeable  to  study  with  her." 

"Yes,"  said  Olga.  "Our  Papa  chose  very  well.  He 
found  our  Miss  and  brought  her  with  him  to  Ham- 
burg." This  remark  was  addressed  to  Herr  Heiling. 

"And  I've  told  you  every  day  for  weeks  that  you 
are  not  to  call  me  your  Miss,"  I  cried,  "I  won't 
have  it." 

"Very  good,"  said  Oscar,  "we  will  call  you  our 
Sally." 

"Yes,"  said  Arthur,  "Sallee  is  good.  Sallee,  I  kiss 
you." 

He  blew  me  a  kiss  across  the  table  and  I  looked  at 
Frau  Plessen  to  see  how  she  liked  it.  I  think  she 
was  divided  in  her  feelings.  It  suited  her  very  well 
to  have  the  children  contented  with  their  Miss,  but  I 
am  sure  she  did  not  endorse  their  opinion  as  to  their 
father's  choice.  When  we  all  got  up  from  table  and 
the  two  men  went  into  the  living-room  for  coffee  she 
stayed  behind  for  a  moment  and  told  the  children 
that  they  were  to  play  here  by  themselves  this  after- 
noon and  make  no  noise.  Then  she  turned  to  me. 

"Has  Frau  Crefeld  invited  you  for  supper?"  she 
asked. 

I  said  I  did  not  know,  as  the  invitation  had  been 
vaguely  worded.  She  then  told  me  that  the  best  way 
to  get  back  would  be  to  take  a  steamboat  across  the 
Alster  that  called  at  a  pier  near  the  Crefeld's  house 
and  ended  its  journey  just  opposite  the  flat.  As  she 
talked  I  could  see  her  appraising  the  details  of  my 
dress  all  the  time  and  deciding  that  it  was  unsuitable 
for  a  Miss.  Finally  she  spoke: 


60  IRON   COUSINS 

"I  suppose  your  dress  was  given  to  you?"  she  said. 

I  wished  I  could  have  said  that  I  bought  it  or 
made  it  myself;  but  anyone  whose  habit  it  is  to  tell 
the  truth  knows  how  the  habit  persists  even  when  a 
lie  would  confound  an  adversary.  I  signified  that  her 
judgment  was  as  usual  sound.  The  dress  had  been 
given  to  me. 

"Doubtless  by  Mrs.  David?" 

Again  she  was  right  and  again  it  annoyed  me  that 
she  should  be. 

"It  is  a  peculiarity  of  the  Jews,"  she  went  on  in 
her  most  guttural  tone.  When  Frau  Plessen  meant  to 
make  herself  unpleasant  she  became  more  guttural 
than  usual  whether  she  was  speaking  German  or  Eng- 
lish. "They  like  to  have  Christian  dependents  and 
satellites  to  whom  they  can  be  free-giving." 

"Generous!"  I  suggested.  "Free-giving  is  not  the 
English  idiom;  but  you  can  speak  of  people  giving 
freely." 

She  had  told  me  to  correct  any  mistakes  she  made 
in  English,  but  I  did  not  often  do  so  because  when  I 
did  she  colored  with  annoyance  and  disputed  my  cor- 
rections. 

"Generous  is  not  what  I  mean  at  all,"  she  said  now. 
"Generosity  is  a  virtue.  To  give  people  finery  that  does 
not  become  their  situation  in  life  is  a  folly." 

"If  you  do  not  like  what  I  wear  I  will  go  home," 
I  observed. 

I  spoke  without  animus  or  heat,  but  I  meant  what 
I  said  and  that  seemed  to  nonplus  her.  She  did  not 
want  me  to  go  home  at  that  time. 

"You  are  too  sensitive,"  she  said.  "A  young  girl 
who  has  to  fight  her  way  through  the  world  should 


IRON   COUSINS  61 

learn  not  to  be  sensitive  and  to  take  a  counsel  offered 
by  an  older  woman  in  the  spirit  in  which  it  is  given." 

It  is  easy  to  put  another  person  in  the  wrong  when 
the  other  person  by  the  etiquette  of  his  position  is  de- 
prived of  his  power  to  reply.  I  had  not  said  I  would 
go  home  until  she  had  been  grossly  impertinent,  but 
if  I  had  told  her  so  I  should  have  had  to  go  and  I 
did  not  want  to  yet.  She  could  be  very  disagreeable, 
but  Miss  Campbell  was  disagreeable  too,  and  I  thought 
that  perhaps  it  was  just  the  north  German  manner. 
Mrs.  David  had  told  me  that  I  should  find  it  chilly 
and  forbidding.  Besides  she  scolded  her  husband,  her 
children  and  her  servants  as  arrogantly  as  she  scolded 
me ;  and  they  all  put  up  with  it. 

I  had  not  thought  of  anything  to  say  and  we  were 
standing  together  near  the  window  both  feeling  rather 
uncomfortable  when  Herr  Heiling  came  into  the  room 
and  brought  his  aunt  a  cup  of  black  coffee. 

"English  fashion!"  he  said  to  me  as  she  took  it. 

"What  is  English  fashion?"  I  asked,  not  under- 
standing him. 

"In  England  men  wait  upon  women.  In  Germany 
women  wait  upon  men.  Have  you  not  observed  it?" 

"I  should  think  I  have,"  I  said,  for  only  that  morn- 
ing Herr  Plessen  had  sent  me  in  to  the  next  room  for 
his  newspaper.  "I'm  trying  to  teach  the  boys  better." 

"But  I  prefer  to  drink  my  coffee  where  I  am  accus- 
tomed to  drink  it,"  said  Frau  Plessen,  and  marched 
through  the  communicating  door  into  the  living-room. 
"Come,  Casper." 

Casper  lingered.  He  lingered  an  appreciable  time 
and  came  nearer  to  me  at  the  window.  The  children 
were  at  the  farther  end  of  the  big  room,  huddled  over 


62  IRON    COUSINS 

a  jig-saw  puzzle  that  he  had  brought  them  the  day 
before. 

"If  I  were  Trudi  .  .  ."he  murmured  in  an  under- 
tone and  then  as  I  looked  at  him  in  surprise  asked 
me  what  I  was  doing  this  afternoon.  I  told  him. 

"Next  Sunday  I  will  take  you  and  the  children  for 
a  sail  in  my  boat,"  he  said  and  raised  his  voice.  "Do 
you  hear,  children?  Next  Sunday  we  shall  go  on 
the  Alster  in  my  boat  and  we  shall  have  coffee  at 
Eppendorf." 


IX 


THE  people  you  like  or  dislike  unreservedly  pre- 
sent no  difficulties.  You  seek  the  one  kind 
and  avoid  the  other.  It  is  the  people  you  like 
in  bits  who  intrigue  you.  In  some  moods  Herr  Heil- 
ing  attracted  me.  He  had  a  way  with  him,  a  merry 
friendly  way  that  carried  all  before  him.  He  was  a 
fortunate  youth  and  knew  it  and  made  the  most  of  his 
oportunities.  I  gathered  that  he  was  the  only  son  of 
wealthy  people,  that  when  he  had  finished  his  educa- 
tion he  had  been  in  London  for  a  year  and  in  Paris 
for  a  year,  in  business  in  both  cities  but  as  a  "volon- 
taire,"  an  unpaid  apprentice  learning  the  language  and 
the  ropes.  He  had  always  had  plenty  of  money  in 
Paris  and  introductions  to  the  haute  bourgeoisie.  In 
London  his  friends  had  been  of  German  origin  to 
judge  by  their  names,  but  he  took  them  for  English 
and  charged  what  he  found  fault  with  to  the  English 
nation.  In  Hamburg  he  was  supposed  to  live  with  his 
father  and  mother  in  their  villa  on  the  Uhlenhorst, 
where,  the  children  told  me,  there  was  a  fine  garden 
and  a  hedge  of  sweet  brier. 

"A  Hecke  is  there,"  said  Trudi,  "a  long  Hecke  of 
well-smelling  field  rose.  It  smells  to  heaven." 

I  was  supposed  to  give  all  the  children  a  cut  and 
dried  conversation  lesson  every  day  besides  talking 
63 


64  IRON   COUSINS 

English  to  them  between  times;  and  when  conversa- 
tion is  cut  and  dried  it  helps  things  on  to  set  a  subject. 

"To-day,"  I  had  said,  "you  shall  describe  your 
uncle's  house  on  the  Uhlenhorst,"  and  they  began  to 
chatter  like  magpies  at  once. 

"It  is  not  a  house;  it  is  a  villa,"  said  Olga,  "a  fine 
villa." 

"A  billiard  is  there,"  said  Oscar. 

"But  it  is  not  allowed  that  we  play  on  it,"  said 
Arthur. 

"Once  when  no  one  was  near  those  boys  did  play 
and  they  did  cut  the  cloth,"  said  Olga. 

"They  did  cut  the  cloth,"  said  Trudi,  her  eyes  grow- 
ing big  with  the  solemnity  of  the  crime.  "So  they 
became  a  whipping." 

"Mek,  mekl"  jeered  Oscar  and  snapped  his  fingers 
at  her.  "Boys  make  nothing  of  whippings.  The  girls 
it  is  who  cry  .  .  .  silly  geese !" 

"Tell  me  about  the  garden,"  I  said  when  I  had 
tried,  without  much  success,  to  explain  that  you  could 
not  become  a  whipping  in  English  though  you  might 
get  one.  For  Oscar  seemed  to  think  that  my  discourse 
on  the  respective  values  of  werden  and  bekommen 
were  an  admission  that  there  was  no  such  thing  in 
England  as  discipline  and  he  said  that  he  and  Arthur 
both  wished  they  lived  there. 

"By  us  there  is  too  much,"  he  said  gloomily;  and 
then  Trudi  made  her  remark  about  the  sweet-brier 
hedge  and  I  tried  to  correct  it;  and  Frau  Plessen  said 
at  supper  that  if  we  laughed  so  loudly  we  must  have 
the  conversation  lesson  in  a  room  further  from  her 
own  as  we  had  disturbed  her ;  and  that  perhaps  it  was 
the  English  method  to  treat  a  lesson  as  a  joke,  but 


IRON   COUSINS  65 

that  she  did  not  approve  of  it.  After  that  I  tried  to 
think  of  subjects  that  would  not  lend  themselves  to 
laughter,  such  as  some  well-known  episode  in  history 
or  any  story  of  heroism  not  too  tragic  for  their  years. 
I  found  that  my  history  was  not  their  history,  nor 
were  my  heroes  their  heroes;  but  that  did  not  hinder 
discussion.  On  the  contrary.  They  were  for  Bliicher 
and  I  was  for  Wellington ;  they  impeached  Nelson  and 
I  apotheosized  him.  We  were  defeated  in  America. 
They  were  victorious  at  Sedan.  The  Boer  War  was 
a  crime  and  we  should  have  lost  it  if  the  Kaiser  had 
not  told  us  what  to  do.  The  Kaiser  would  some  day 
take  all  the  English  colonies  and  rule  over  them  in 
the  German  way.  Deutschland  tiber  Alles.  But  Bri- 
tannia rules  the  waves. 

"What  are  waves  ?"  said  Oscar.  "Battles  are  fought 
on  land." 

"You  forget,  Oscar,"  said  Olga,  "our  future  lies  on 
the  water.  The  All-Highest  has  said  so." 

I  sometimes  wondered  what  English  children  of 
their  age  in  English  schools  were  saying  and  think- 
ing about  Germany.  Nothing  at  all  unless  English 
schools  had  changed  since  I  left  one  five  years  ago. 
My  ignorance  of  German  history  and  even  of  Ger- 
man geography  and  politics  made  the  Plessens  purr 
when  they  came  across  it.  They  told  me  that  the 
navvies  mending  the  roads  in  Germany  were  better 
educated  than  our  public  schoolboys.  I  did  not  like 
to  tell  them  that  although  the  children  were  taught 
a  great  deal  very  carefully  they  were  taught  some  of 
it  wrong.  They  would  have  wanted  me  to  prove  it, 
and  how  could  I  prove  that  we  did  not  owe  our  power 
to  our  crimes,  or  dispute  that  our  power  was  decaying 


66  IRON   COUSINS 

and  would  crumble  like  the  walls  of  Jericho  at  the 
first  blast  of  the  German  trumpets.  I  did  not  believe 
in  the  crimes,  but  I  did  not  know  whether  we  should 
crumble  when  Germany  attacked  us.  I  wrote  to  Aunt 
Susan  and  told  her  what  the  Germans  were  saying 
and  how  the  Hamburger  Nachrichten  wanted  our 
heads  on  a  charger,  but  she  did  not  seem  to  take 
much  interest  in  it.  She  said  that  she  had  always 
understood  that  the  Germans  were  learned  and  indus- 
trious but  not  polite  and  that  when  she  had  gone 
abroad  she  had  chosen  some  part  of  France  or  Italy. 
I  was  to  remember  that  I  need  not  stay  a  day  longer 
than  I  wished,  as  her  home  was  always  open  to  me 
and  she  had  just  had  my  bedroom  re-papered. 

Sometimes  the  thought  of  my  bedroom  in  the  little 
house  at  Chelsea  came  between  me  and  the  humors 
of  the  moment  with  a  tug  at  my  heart  strings.  I 
wished  myself  there  again,  amongst  my  own  books  and 
pictures,  at  leisure  and  alone.  I  saw  it  with  my  mind's 
eye  while  Frau  Plessen  was  making  herself  disagree- 
able about  my  dress,  because  I  remembered  the  day 
it  had  come  and  how  I  had  put  it  on  and  then  run 
into  Aunt  Susan's  room  to  show  it  to  her.  "Fine 
feathers  make  fine  birds,"  she  had  said,  but  I  knew 
by  her  eyes  as  well  as  by  the  long  glass  in  her  room 
that  I  was  a  rather  pretty  bird  that  day  as  well  as  a 
fine  one. 

Miss  Campbell  came  for  me  at  three  o'clock  and 
looked  rather  put  out  when  she  saw  me,  and  she  said 
that  she^had  left  all  her  elegant  and  expensive  clothes 
in  Paris  because  she  did  not  expect  to  want  them  while 
she  was  devoting  herself  to  educational  work  in  Ham- 
burg. I  said  that  my  case  was  different.  I  possessed 


IRON   COUSINS  67 

very  few  clothes,  came  away  at  a  day's  notice  and 
brought  the  best  I  could.  She  accepted  this  explana- 
tion graciously,  and  after  she  had  looked  carefully 
round  the  room  and  told  the  children  they  were  going 
the  wrong  way  to  work  with  their  puzzle  we  started 
for  our  walk.  It  was  a  hot  summer  afternoon,  the 
Jungfernstieg  was  crowded  with  people  and  I  was 
in  the  best  of  spirits.  Everyone  and  everything  looked 
unlike  the  King's  Road  on  a  Sunday  afternoon,  for 
instance,  and  I  have  to  admit  that  Hamburg  looked 
better.  It  is  a  splendid  idea  to  build  a  big  city  round 
a  lake,  even  if  the  lake  is  artificial  and  has  hard  con- 
crete dams  for  its  shores.  The  beauty  of  water  takes 
care  of  itself  when  there  is  a  big  enough  expanse.  I 
never  tired  of  watching  the  life  on  it  and  the  play 
of  light  and  wind  on  its  surface.  Besides,  as  we  got 
on  we  were  able  to  turn  round  and  see  the  church 
spires  of  Hamburg  and  the  packed  roofs  behind  the 
Alster  front.  At  least  I  turned  once  or  twice  or 
stopped  to  look  about  me,  but  Miss  Campbell  would 
not  let  me  linger  long.  She  said  that  Hamburg  was 
a  notoriously  wicked  city  and  that  it  behooved  young 
girls  like  us  to  walk  circumspectly  and  always  straight 
ahead.  She  said  other  things  and  then  she  asked  me 
whether  many  young  men  visited  the  Plessens  and 
whether  I  had  opportunities  of  getting  to  know  them. 

"I  have  not  seen  any  young  men  there  except  Frau 
Plessen's  nephew,  Herr  Heiling,"  I  told  her.  "They 
have  people  to  supper  sometimes,  but  I  am  not  with 
them  in  the  evenings." 

"Herr  Heiling!  You  mean  the  young  one,  Caspar 
Heiling?"  She  made  a  little  sound  with  her  lips  that 
was  nearly  but  not  quite  a  whistle;  and  she  smiled 


68  IRON   COUSINS 

knowingly.  By  that  time  I  wished  I  had  not  come 
out  with  her.  If  I  could  make  a  wicked  city  good 
by  talking  of  its  wickedness  in  gloating  whispers  I'd 
talk  day  and  night ;  but  if  you  can  neither  rescue  nor 
prevent  why  should  you  discuss?  I  have  no  sym- 
pathy with  women  who  determinedly  go  through  life 
in  blinkers;  but  I  have  still  less  with  those  who  are 
sheltered  by  the  social  system  themselves  and  batten 
by  hearsay  on  the  muck  heap.  It  is  a  difficult  distinc- 
tion to  make  because  there  is  such  a  thing  as  a  legiti- 
mate interest  in  the  facts  of  human  life;  those  facts 
most  of  us  pick  up  here  and  there  as  we  can;  too 
often  from  the  wrong  people  and  in  the  wrong  way. 
I  only  speak  of  it  because  Miss  Campbell  made  me 
uncomfortable  and  I  want  to  admit  that  in  this  matter 
I  stood  betwixt  and  between.  I  sometimes  wished 
Aunt  Susan  had  been  less  shy  with  me  and  more  out- 
spoken; but  I  turned  a  deaf  ear  to  Miss  Campbell 
because  I  instinctively  disliked  her  tone.  Besides,  I 
would  not  discuss  Caspar  Heiling  or  the  Plessens  with 
her.  I  had  not  been  born  in  an  attic  and  bred  in  a 
kitchen. 

I  think  that  by  the  time  we  reached  the  Cref eld's 
flat  we  both  knew  that  we  should  never  make  friends. 
At  any  rate  she  said  as  we  went  upstairs  that  she  had 
only  approached  me  at  the  instance  of  Frau  Cref  eld 
and  that  in  general  it  was  her  rule  not  to  associate 
with  the  young  women  who  lived  with  Hamburg  fam- 
ilies as  governesses  and  Mamsells.  She  said  that  they 
were  her  social  inferiors  and  that  though  she  was  far 
from  being  a  snob  she  believed  in  drawing  the  line. 
How  did  I  feel? 

If  I  had  answered  honestly  I  should  have  said  I 


IRON   COUSINS  69 

felt  sick,  but  then  I  should  probably  have  had  to 
explain  in  what  way  and  why.  Besides  I've  no  doubt 
that  even  George  Washington  had  to  be  civil  to  people 
he  did  not  love.  I  always  envy  people  who  can  do 
this  without  feeling  untrue  to  themselves.  However, 
the  uneasy  mood  in  which  I  had  walked  upstairs  van- 
ished like  mist  in  sunshine  directly  I  saw  Frau  Crefeld 
and  shook  hands  with  her.  She  seemed  to  be  waiting 
for  us,  for  she  stood  in  the  open  doorway  of  a  room 
opposite  the  front  door,  and  the  moment  I  saw  her 
kind  eyes  and  heard  her  friendly  voice  I  felt  at  home 
with  her.  She  spoke  English  with  a  strong  German 
accent,  but  not  as  Miss  Campbell  did,  with  a  guttural 
Cockney  twang,  and  she  herself  and  her  room  looked 
German  in  every  detail.  So  did  the  little  girl  with 
bright  dark  eyes  who  stood  shyly  beside  her.  The 
mother  kept  my  hand  in  hers,  drew  me  into  the  room 
and  looked  at  me  before  she  led  me  to  the  sofa.  I 
can't  tell  you  what  she  thought  of  me,  but  my  first 
impressions  of  her  did  not  change  much  as  I  got  to 
know  her  better.  To  my  eyes  she  did  not  look  Jewish 
as  the  Davids  did  or  even  as  her  own  child  did.  She 
was  a  big  woman,  fair-haired  and  deliberate  in  her 
movements.  She  had  blue  eyes  as  kind  as  kind,  but  not 
alert.  She  was  handsomely  dressed  and  yet  the  gen- 
eral effect  was  rather  frumpish.  She  did  not  seem  to 
be  thinking  about  herself  at  all  but  about  the  people 
she  was  mothering  or  directing  or  entertaining.  She 
told  me  that  the  Davids  were  old  friends  and  that 
Mrs.  David  had  written  to  her  about  me  more  than 
a  week  ago  and  told  her  that  I  was  Isabella's  friend. 
"I  should  have  written  to  ask  you  here,"  she  said, 
still  keeping  my  hand  in  hers  and  looking  at  me  as  if 


70  IRON   COUSINS 

to  do  so  gave  her  pleasure.  "But  Miss  Campbell  told 
me  she  had  already  made  your  acquaintance.  I  hope 
that  you  are  happy  in  Hamburg?" 

"Yes,  I  am,"  I  said,  for  on  the  whole  I  was  happy. 
I  did  not  regret  coming. 

"I  have  asked  an  Englishman  to  supper  to-night  to 
meet  you,"  she  went  on,  "but  I  have  not  told  him  that 
you  were  coming.  It  shall  be  a  surprise." 


MISS  CAMPBELL  went  out  of  the  room  to 
take  off  her  hat  and  left  me  alone  with 
Frau  Crefeld.  We  sat  on  the  sofa  together 
and  I  had  been  long  enough  in  Germany  to  appre- 
ciate that.  Frau  Plessen  never  asked  me  to  sit  beside 
her  on  the  sofa.  At  first  she  had  seemed  to  fear 
that  I  should  do  so  uninvited  and  had  quickly  occu- 
pied rhe  middle  herself  so  that  I  could  not  plant  myself 
there,  too,  without  crushing  her.  Then  she  had  told  one 
or  two  stories,  presumably  for  my  benefit,  about  the 
sanctity  of  sofas  and  the  presumption  of  certain  per- 
sons who  pushed  themselves  into  places  of  importance 
meant  for  their  superiors.  So  I  told  her  that  I  had 
heard  of  the  peculiar  dignity  attached  to  sofas  in 
Germany,  but  that  annoyed  her  because  she  said  there 
was  nothing  peculiar  about  it  and  that  we  did  just 
the  same  in  England.  When  I  first  got  to  Hamburg 
I  imagined  that  I  knew  more  than  Germans  did  about 
my  own  country.  But  I  soon  discovered  that  when- 
ever we  disagreed  they  were  in  the  right  because  they 
were  so  much  more  instructed  and  intelligent  than  we 
were.  When  I  heard  Frau  Crefeld  talk  English  with 
a  German  accent  I  was  afraid  she  would  be  instructive 
and  intelligent  in  the  admirable  but  rather  fatiguing 
German  way,  and  I  was  disappointed.  However,  we 


72  IRON   COUSINS 

had  not  been  long  together  before  I  knew  that  she 
was  not  going  to  be  fatiguing  at  all,  but  friendly  and 
rather  amusing.  When  we  had  known  each  other 
about  twenty  minutes  she  told  me  that  her  mother 
had  been  a  Christian,  that  she  had  lived  in  London 
with  her  parents  till  she  married  and  that  she  had 
hesitated  a  good  deal  before  she  consented  to  marry 
an  Israelite  and  live  in  Germany.  She  said  that  she 
had  drawn  a  big  prize  in  the  lottery  of  marriage  as 
I  should  see  presently  when  Herr  Crefeld  came  in  and 
that  if  she  had  a  dozen  daughters  she  could  not  wish 
them  a  happier  fate  than  her  own.  She  asked  me  a 
great  many  questions  about  the  Davids  and  about 
Isabella's  marriage,  and  when  I  told  her  that  Isabella 
was  now  called  Saddington  and  not  Schlosser  she 
clapped  her  hands  and  laughed.  She  told  me  then 
that  the  good  Miss  Campbell  had  also  this  bee  in  her 
bonnet  inasmuch  as  she  was  the  daughter  of  a  certain 
Moses  Cohen  who  had  been  a  "Schlemihl"  and  had 
died  leaving  his  children  penniless.  Her  father  had 
assisted  the  widow  and  children  and  had  begged  her 
to  take  Rebecca  for  a  time  so  as  to  give  her  a  new 
start.  She  had  tried  to  earn  her  bread  in  Paris  and 
had  lived  with  her  married  sister  there,  but  the  plan 
had  not  been  successful.  The  brother-in-law  objected 
to  her. 

My  sympathies  were  with  the  brother-in-law,  but 
I  did  not  tell  Frau  Crefeld  so  and  I  did  not  say  that 
when  Rebecca  had  written  me  a  note  the  other  day 
she  had  signed  herself  Rosamund.  It  seemed  a  pity 
that  she  could  not  change  her  face  and  voice  as  well 
as  her  name  for  these  gave  her  away  even  to  me,  and 
I  have  not  an  eagle  eye  for  an  Israelite.  I  wondered 


IRON   COUSINS  73 

what  Moses  Cohen  had  done  in  the  world  and  in  what 
way  he  had  been  a  Schlemihl.  Mrs.  David  had  told 
me  what  Schlemihl  means  and  what  a  terrible  fate  it 
is  to  be  related  or  allied  to  one,  for  a  Schlemihl  may 
be  quite  honest  and  well  meaning  and  even  industrious, 
but  everything  he  undertakes  will  fail  and  bring  dis- 
aster on  himself  and  his  belongings. 

"Now  I  will  tell  you  about  the  Englishman  who  is 
coming  here  to-day,"  said  Frau  Crefeld.  "He  is  a 
Mr.  Quentin  Hope.  He  is  in  Hamburg  on  business. 
He  is  still  young  but  my  husband  considers  him  very 
solid  and  thinks  he  will  go  far." 

Before  she  could  say  anything  more  about  my  fel- 
low-countryman Herr  Crefeld  came  into  the  room  and 
I  was  presented  to  him  as  "the  young  girl  about  whom 
our  dear  Mrs.  David  wrote  to  us  last  week."  We 
shook  hands  and  received  swift  impressions  of  each 
other  while  we  exchanged  those  commonplaces  of  talk 
that  act  as  an  accompaniment  to  the  hymn  of  life, 
dislike  or  indifference  playing  its  first  chords  in  one's 
fancy.  I  did  not  expect  him  to  take  any  interest  in 
me  at  all.  He  was  more  than  twice  my  age,  a  man 
of  affairs,  a  man  of  property.  How  can  there  be 
anything  further  apart  than  a  girl's  mind  and  the  mind 
of  an  elderly  business  man?  His  thoughts  must  be 
forever  on  his  speculations  and  his  argosies  I  fancy, 
and  I  see  more  romance  in  his  ventures  than  in  the 
average  girl's  occupation  with  her  lovers  and  her 
clothes.  But  Herr  Crefeld  did  not  look  romantic  and 
you  would  not  even  have  guessed  from  his  appearance 
that  he  had  turned  out  a  matrimonial  prize.  He  was  a 
thin,  sallow,  sandy-haired  man,  with  funny  little  side 
whiskers,  pale  blue  eyes  and  a  nervous  smile.  If  I 


74  IRON   COUSINS 

had  had  to  bring  off  a  deal  with  him  I  should  have 
expected  to  get  the  best  of  it  when  I  saw  him,  but  I 
should  have  been  mistaken.  He  was  one  of  the  richest 
men  in  Hamburg  and  he  had  made  every  penny  of 
his  money  himself.  I  did  not  know  these  things  when 
I  first  saw  him  but  I  was  told  them  later  by  various 
people  who  all  spoke  well  of  him.  He  made  me 
very  welcome  and  I  feel  sure  by  the  way  he  looked  at 
my  frock  that  he  approved  of  it  but  knew  it  was  ex- 
pensive and  wondered  where  I  got  it.  Before  long 
Miss  Campbell  returned  with  Gisela  and  her  manner 
in  the  presence  of  her  employers  was  not  as  arrogant 
and  disagreeable  as  usual.  Then  a  man-servant  wear- 
ing white  cotton  gloves  brought  silver  trays  bearing 
tea  and  chocolate  and  cakes,  and  as  we  sat  down  to 
them  there  was  a  ring  at  the  front  door  and  a  moment 
later  Mr.  Quentin  Hope  joined  us.  He  brought  Eng- 
land with  him,  and  for  the  first  time  since  I  had  left 
England  I  felt  home-sick.  I  could  have  stroked  his 
coat,  I  felt  so  glad  to  see  an  English  coat  again,  an 
English  coat  on  broad  English  shoulders  that  I  could 
hardly  have  reached  unless  I  had  stood  on  tiptoe.  An 
English  tongue,  too,  that  spoke  as  our  educated  people 
do,  and  an  English  manner  quiet  and  direct.  The 
little  girl  Gisela  took  possession  of  him,  calling  him 
Uncle  Quentin  and  asking  him  when  he  would  take 
her  sailing  on  the  Alster  again. 

"I  came  in  my  boat  to-day,"  he  said,  and  the  child 
crowed  with  delight  and  turned  to  her  mother  for 
permission  to  go  out  with  Uncle  Quentin  after  tea. 
Mr.  Hope  told  Frau  Crefeld  that  he  had  his  new  boat 
which  would  hold  us  all  and  that  if  Frau  Crefeld  felt 
inclined  we  might  get  to  the  Outer  Alster  and  have  sup- 


IRON   COUSINS  75 

per  at  the  Kronprinz  on  our  way  back.  He  just  glanced 
my  way,  as  he  unfolded  his  programme,  just  long 
enough  to  show  Frau  Crefeld  and  me  that  I  was  in- 
cluded in  it,  and  I  believe  that  he  was  amused  to  see 
the  rapture  with  which  I  listened  to  him. 

"Shall  you  like  that,  Miss  Danvers?"  said  Frau 
Crefeld  to  me. 

"I've  been  six  weeks  in  Hamburg  and  I've  not  been 
on  the  Alster  yet,"  I  said.  "I'm  dying  to  go." 

"But  where  are  you  staying?"  asked  Mr.  Hope. 

I  told  him  I  was  staying  on  the  Alte  Jungfernstieg 
and  he  looked  rather  puzzled  because  the  Alte  Jung- 
fernstieg is  close  to  the  Alster  and  most  of  the  little 
steamboats  call  there.  I  had  only  to  cross  the  road 
and  go  down  a  few  steps  to  board  one.  But  I  had 
never  done  it  because  I  had  never  been  out  by  myself 
yet,  and  because  on  week  days  Frau  Plessen's  children 
took  no  walks  except  the  one  they  took  every  day  to 
school  and  back  again,  and  on  Sunday  we  had  always 
had  a  walk,  too,  in  a  different  direction.  I  wondered 
why  the  Plessens  used  the  delightful  waterways  of 
their  city  so  little,  but  they  had  no  boats  of  their  own 
and  Frau  Plessen  would  not  let  the  children  go  on  a 
steamboat  if  she  could  help  it.  She  disliked  them  as 
your  London  mother  dislikes  a  'bus,  considering  the 
crowds  who  travel  by  them  plebeian  and  probably  in- 
fectious. 

"Miss  Danvers  does  not  know  how  to  stand  up  for 
herself,"  croaked  Miss  Campbell  in  her  high  pugna- 
cious voice.  "With  a  woman  like  Frau  Plessen  it  is 
positively  necessary.  She  is  evidently  unable  to  dis- 
tinguish between  a  lady  and  a  servant.  I  should  know 
how  to  deal  with  her." 


76  IRON   COUSINS 

I  did  not  want  to  talk  about  the  Plessens  to  the 
Crefelds  or  to  air  my  wrongs,  if  they  existed,  at  that 
table.  I  had  not  meant  to  explain  my  position  to 
Mr.  Hope  for  I  had  no  reason  to  assume  that  he  was 
interested  in  it.  But  he  did  look  at  me  with  some 
accession  of  interest  when  Miss  Campbell  shed  a  light 
on  my  obscurity  and  as  our  eyes  met  I  saw  the  color 
of  his  for  the  first  time.  Till  then  I  had  known  all 
about  the  tweed  of  his  coat  and  a  little  about  his 
manner  and  his  clean  shaven  strong  face.  I  had  liked 
them,  but  best  of  all  I  liked  his  eyes.  They  were 
honest  eyes,  and  they  were  serious,  the  eyes  of  a  man 
who  has  good  brains  and  uses  them.  I  got  an  im- 
pression of  what  Frau  Crefeld  meant  by  calling  him 
solid.  She  meant  his  spirit,  not  his  body;  and  his 
spirit  looked  at  you  out  of  his  eyes.  For  a  moment 
I  had  an  odd  disturbing  sensation,  one  to  which  I 
would  not  allow  myself  to  give  way.  I  wished  I  had 
not  come.  I  wished  I  had  not  seen  hnii.  I  made  up 
my  mind  there  and  then  that  when  I  got  back  I  would 
think  as  little  of  him  as  he  would  of  me,  and  I  knew 
how  little  that  would  be.  He  was  a  prosperous  man, 
trafficking  all  day  with  the  ends  of  the  world,  sending 
out  his  merchandise  and  watching  other  goods  come 
in.  His  mind  must  be  full  of  his  ventures  and  his 
work.  There  was  no  room  in  It  for  me,  a  country- 
woman, but  a  chance  acquaintance.  We  were  not 
likely  to  meet  again,  for  the  Plessens  were  soon  going 
to  the  country  and  were  taking  me  with  them,  and 
Mr.  Hope  talked  of  going  to  India  for  the  winter. 
He  had  said  so  soon  after  his  arrival  to  Herr  Crefeld 
who  had  nodded  and  approved. 

"Are  you  living  with  the  Plessens?"  he  said  to  me. 


IRON   COUSINS  77 

"Yes.  Do  you  know  them?  I  teach  their  children 
English." 

"I  was  there  to  supper  about  a  week  ago,"  he  said, 
and  our  eyes  met  again. 

"I  have  my  evenings  to  myself,"  I  explained.  "I 
like  it.  I  am  able  to  read  and  have  a  little  peace." 

"I  hope  that  you  always  read  German,"  dictated 
Miss  Campbell.  "You  ought  not  to  touch  an  English 
book  while  you  are  here.  If  you  bring  passages  you 
cannot  understand  to  me  I  will  assist  you  with  them." 


XI 

OUR  boat  sped  across  the  shining  water,  its 
white  sails  bellying  to  the  breeze.  There  was 
neither  dust  nor  jar,  but  only  swift  smooth 
progress,  cool  air,  other  boats  about  us,  and  in  the 
distance  the  roofs  and  steeples  of  Hamburg  baking 
in  the  sun.  Mr.  Hope  did  not  talk  because  he  was 
busy  with  his  boat  and  I  did  not  talk  because  there 
was  so  much  to  see.  I  liked  watching  his  manage- 
ment of  the  boat.  He  had  long  capable-looking  hands 
and  he  was  quietly  intent  on  what  he  was  doing. 
Frau  Crefeld  sat  beside  me  and  told  me  the  names 
of  the  places  we  were  passing.  Miss  Campbell  had 
brought  a  book  with  her  and  was  reading  it.  She 
explained  to  us  that  she  had  often  seen  the  Alster 
before  and  considered  it  more  profitable  to  read  than 
to  sit  idle.  Gisela  sat  next  to  me  with  her  hand  in 
mine  and  whispered  in  my  ear  that  she  loved  me  and 
that  I  must  come  to  see  them  every  Sunday.  Herr 
Crefeld  was  not  with  us,  but  he  had  promised  to 
meet  us  at  the  restaurant  at  seven.  All  the  happy 
people  in  Hamburg  seemed  to  be  on  the  water  that 
afternoon.  There  were  little  and  big  sailing  boats, 
some  flying  with  the  wind  as  we  were  doing  and  some 
tacking  in  the  face  of  it  as  we  had  to  when  we  turned 
home  again.  There  were  ordinary  rowing  boats,  too, 
and  the  little  steamers  laden  with  Sunday  traffic,  and 
78 


IRON   COUSINS  79 

long,  slender  racing  boats  manned  by  strenuous  lightly 
clad  young  men.  Every  garden  restaurant  was 
crowded;  in  some  a  band  was  playing  and  from  an- 
other men's  voices  singing  folk  songs  floated  across 
the  water.  The  first  time  we  passed  them  they  were 
singing: 

O  Tannenbaum,  O  Tannenbaum, 
Du  bist  ein  edles  Reis, 
Du  griinest  in  dem  Winter, 
Als  wie  zur  Sommerzeit ! 

Warum  soil  ich  nicht  griinen 
Da  ich  noch  griinen  kann? 
Ich  hab*  kein  Vater,  kein  Mutter, 
Der  mich  versorgen  kann. 

It  sounded  most  attractive  to  me,  but  Miss  Camp- 
bell said  she  could  not  enjoy  a  poem  in  which  a  fir 
tree  complained  of  having  no  father  or  mother,  be- 
cause everyone  knew  that  trees  did  not  have  fathers 
and  mothers  and  could  not  answer  when  spoken  to. 
She  liked  intelligent  poetry  that  dealt  with  the  facts 
of  life.  She  tried  to  get  Mr.  Hope  to  agree  with  her 
but  he  was  busy  with  his  sails  and  only  murmured 
something  about  liking  the  sound  of  music  across  the 
water.  I  could  not  help  seeing  that  she  paid  great 
attention  to  Mr.  Hope  and  that  he  seemed  anxious 
not  to  notice  it. 

Soon  we  got  past  the  singers  to  a  quieter  part  of 
the  environs  of  Hamburg  where  there  were  new 
country  houses  with  gardens  reaching  to  the  water 
and  sometimes  a  boat  with  people  in  it  landing  or 
coming  out.  In  those  boats  I  saw  young  men  and 
women  as  one  does  at  home  on  any  lake  or  river  where 
a  waterway  adds  a  joy  to  life  and  offers  youth  its 


80  IRON   COUSINS 

pleasant  opportunities.  I  wondered  whether  I  should 
be  joining  in  this  side  of  life  again  next  Sunday  and 
whether  Herr  Heiling  would  sail  his  boat  as  well  as 
Mr.  Hope  did.  But  I  did  not  look  before  or  after 
for  long  during  those  charmed  hours.  It  was  enough 
to  sit  in  the  stern  of  the  boat  and  watch  the  shores 
of  the  outer  Alster  as  we  raced  by  them  and  after  the 
heat  and  dust  of  the  streets  to  enjoy  the  cool  evening 
on  the  water.  For  the  sun  had  set  by  the  time  we 
had  turned  and  got  inside  the  Binnen  Alster  again 
and  landed  at  the  restaurant  where  we  were  to  have 
supper  in  the  garden.  To  my  mind  it  was  late  for 
a  child  of  Gisela's  age  to  be  up  and  eating  with  her 
elders,  but  I  saw  other  children  doing  the  same  thing. 
I  was  glad  she  was  there  because  we  were  in  the  same 
mood  of  absurd  childish  delight,  and  I  am  sure  that 
as  we  walked  hand  in  hand  through  the  crowded 
lighted  gardens  we  trod  on  air.  She  whispered  to 
me  that  never  before  had  she  been  allowed  to  have 
supper  out  of  doors  in  Hamburg  though  she  always 
had  it  so  in  the  summer  when  they  were  away  from 
home,  and  I  whispered  to  her  that  the  whole  scene 
was  what  she  justly  described  it:  "Himmlisch" 
and  "enizuckend."  I  should  not  have  used  those 
words  myself  for  a  big  restaurant  garden  raised 
above  the  water,  crammed  with  people  and  lighted 
by  electric  light.  But  they  served  well  enough  just 
then  for  the  gayety  and  good  spirits  that  communi- 
cated themselves  to  all  of  us  as  we  sat  down  at  the 
table  reserved  by  Mr.  Hope  and  discovered  that  we 
were  generally  hungry.  Such  a  good  supper  it  was; 
beginning  with  lobster  salad,  continuing  with  duck 
and  peas  and  coming  in  the  end  to  strawberries  and 


IRON   COUSINS  81 

cream.  Gisela  ate  everything  offered  to  her  and  I, 
remembering  my  own  suppers  at  her  age  of  a  glass 
of  milk  and  a  biscuit,  wondered  if  she  would  have 
nightmare.  But  Frau  Crefeld  watched  the  child 
placidly  and  said  she  did  not  believe  in  coddling  the 
digestion.  It  was  just  as  well  to  give  the  stomach  a 
surprise  occasionally.  Miss  Campbell  looked  at  me 
with  a  visible  sneer  on  her  face  at  this,  and  though 
I  did  not  respond  I  thought  that  Frau  Crefeld  noticed 
the  sneer  and  felt  annoyed  with  both  of  us.  Soon 
after  the  party  broke  up  for  Mr.  Hope  had  to  take 
his  boat  back  and  the  Crefelds  had  ordered  their  car 
to  meet  them.  They  said  they  would  send  me  home 
in  it  and  when  I  proposed  to  walk  looked  rather 
scandalized. 

"You  cannot  walk  about  Hamburg  after  dark,"  Frau 
Crefeld  said  to  me;  and  by  that  time  she  had  recov- 
ered her  good  humor  for  she  gave  me  a  warm  in- 
vitation to  spend  my  Sundays  with  them  whenever 
I  could  get  away.  She  said  that  I  could  always  make 
my  arrangements  with  Miss  Campbell  when  we  met 
at  the  Kindergarten  and  that  when  they  were  not 
using  the  car  she  would  send  a  maid  with  me  as  far 
as  the  steamboat  pier  near  them.  Mr.  Hope  said 
nothing  when  he  shook  hands  with  me  and  I  thought 
rather  forlornly  that  I  might  never  see  him  again. 
For  the  Plessens  were  about  to  leave  home  on  their 
annual  holiday  and  by  the  time  they  returned  Mr. 
Hope  would  be  setting  out  for  his  winter  in  India. 

We  did  not  have  the  expedition  to  Eppendorf  pro- 
posed to  the  children  by  Herr  Heiling.  He  spoke  of 
it  the  day  after  I  had  been  on  the  Alster  with  the 
Crefelds  but  Frau  Plessen  looked  coldly  on  the  plan 


82  IRON   COUSINS 

and  in  that  household  things  did  not  happen  unless 
she  approved  of  them. 

"No!  Caspar,"  she  said.  "Sunday  picnics  on  the 
Alster  are  not  to  my  taste  and  I  should  have  thought 
they  were  not  to  yours.  Leave  Sunday  junketing  to 
servants  and  to  Jews." 

If  an  Englishwoman  had  behaved  as  Frau  Plessen 
did  I  should  have  been  hurt  and  angry.  But  I  never 
lost  the  sense  of  adventure  while  I  was  in  Hamburg 
and  when  you  are  out  for  adventure  you  expect  to 
meet  varieties  of  people,  pleasant  and  unpleasant. 
Besides,  Frau  Plessen  was  so  mightily  pleased  with 
herself  and  her  place  in  the  world  that  she  was  amus- 
ing even  when  she  was  in  an  unamiable  mood.  The 
way  her  large  mouth  set  itself  in  determined  lines, 
the  high  nasal  tones  of  her  voice,  the  opulence  of  her 
attire  and  the  elaborate  waves  and  puffs  of  her  tow- 
colored  hair  never  failed  to  fascinate  me,  and  when 
she  was  inordinately  rude  I  deplored  her  want  of 
manners  but  did  not  let  it  oppress  me. 

"How  unfortunate  it  is  that  we  are  not  Jews,"  said 
Arthur,  whose  face  had  fallen  to  zero  when  his  mother 
vetoed  the  Sunday  excursion.  "To  them  everything 
is  allowed  and  to  us  nothing." 

"It  is  true!"  said  Olga.  "I  wanted  a  pink  frock 
this  summer  but  Mamma  said  it  was  Jewish  and 
bought  a  blue  one." 

I  laughed.  I  could  not  help  it.  To  attach  a  creed 
to  a  color  seemed  so  childish  and  arbitrary;  but  Herr 
Heiling,  catching  my  eye,  offered  an  inadequate  ex- 
planation. 

"The  Jews  like  staring  colors,"  he  said.  "It  is  their 
Oriental  blood." 


IRON   COUSINS  83 

I  had  not  observed  it.  The  Davids  and  their  friends 
dressed  unusually  well  and  never  loudly.  Frau  Pies- 
sen  was  a  figure  of  fun  compared  with  them.  Yester- 
day Frau  Crefeld  and  Miss  Campbell  had  both  worn 
gray,  and  Gisela  had  been  in  white.  However,  I  did 
not  give  tongue  to  my  thoughts  because  I  had  dis- 
covered by  this  time  that  I  was  no  more  equipped  for 
an  argument  about  Jews  in  Germany  than  I  should 
have  been  for  one  about  Home  Rule  in  Ulster.  I  did 
not  know  enough  of  the  situation  or  share  sufficiently 
in  the  prevalent  tenseness  of  feeling. 

"Did  you  enjoy  yourself  yesterday?"  Herr  Heiling 
said  to  me. 

"Very  much,"  I  told  him.  "Mr.  Hope  took  us  out 
in  his  boat  and  we  had  supper  with  him  at  the  Kron- 
prinz." 

Frau  Plessen  appeared  not  to  hear  what  I  said,  but 
I  am  sure  she  did  because  her  mouth  went  down  at  the 
corners  and  she  spoke  sharply  to  Trudi  about  help- 
ing herself  to  too  many  strawberries.  Herr  Plessen 
who  rarely  spoke  at  all  at  meals  looked  up  from  his 
paper  and  said  to  me: 

"So  you  have  met  Mr.  Hope  .  .  .  ein  pr'dchtiger 
KerL  .  .  .  You  hear  Ottilie  .  .  .  Miss  Danvers  knows 
Mr.  Hope.  We  must  remember  that  next  time  he 
comes." 

The  way  the  best  of  men  put  their  foot  into  it! 
Frau  Plessen  looked  thunderous  and  said  she  did  not 
intend  to  give  any  more  supper  parties  till  the  autumn 
as  she  would  be  fully  occupied  now  with  her  prepara- 
tions for  their  journey  to  Schondorf.  I  asked  where 
Schondorf  was  and  she  told  me  that  it  was  in  the 
Frankische  Schweiz,  not  far  from  Bayreuth  and  that 


84  IRON   COUSINS 

they  were  going  there  because  there  would  be  trout 
fishing  for  her  husband. 

"A  gentleman  gets  so  dull  if  he  has  nothing  but 
the  landscape  to  amuse  him,"  she  said.  "The  gentle- 
men like  an  occupation.  Otherwise  they  are  not  in 
good  humor." 

"Are  you  going  to  be  there  long?"  I  asked. 

"A  month.  Then  we  are  going  to  stay  with  my 
mother  near  Eutin  for  three  weeks.  But  I  cannot 
take  you  with  us  there.  She  is  old  and  does  not  like 
strangers." 

I  wondered  what  was  to  become  of  me  but  I  did 
not  ask.  However,  Frau  Plessen  went  on  to  inform 
me  that  I  should  not  be  able  to  return  to  the  flat  be- 
cause Herr  Plessen  would  have  ended  his  holiday  and 
be  at  home  again,  and  it  would  not  be  considered 
proper  for  us  to  be  under  the  same  roof  without  a 
duenna.  She  thought,  however,  that  Fraulein  Popper 
an  elderly  friend  of  the  family  who  lived  in  a  Stiff, 
would  be  able  to  take  charge  of  me  for  a  small  con- 
sideration. I  should  be  expected  to  consider  it  a  holi- 
day and  pay  my  own  expenses. 

I  was  rather  surprised  to  hear  that  and  said  that 
before  closing  with  Fraulein  Popper  I  must  consult 
my  aunt,  as  I  was  entirely  dependent  on  her  and  had 
no  money  of  my  own.  She  then  asked  me  various 
questions  about  my  aunt  that  I  considered  irrelevant 
and  unpolite.  She  wanted  to  know  her  age,  her  state 
of  health,  the  amount  of  her  income  and  whether  it 
was  derived  from  dividends  or  an  annuity.  I  told 
her  that  Aunt  Susan  was  sixty  and  in  excellent  health 
but  that  I  knew  nothing  whatever  about  her  money 
affairs.  I  thought  it  rather  unlikely  that  she  would 


IRON   COUSINS  85 

support  me  in  Hamburg  for  three  weeks  and  I  was 
averse  to  asking  her.  I  should  prefere  to  be  paid 
a  quarter's  salary  and  if  necessary  live  on  it.  I  knew 
that  Marie's  aunt  let  furnished  rooms  and  that  I  could 
probably  have  one  for  five  shillings  a  week. 

"Marie's  aunt !  A  beautiful  room  it  will  be !  Where 
does  she  live?" 

"In  a  heavenly  old  street  with  a  narrow  canal  be- 
tween the  houses;  and  the  houses  have  gabled  roofs 
and  warehouses  near  the  water.  Frau  Bach  lives  on 
the  fifth  floor  and  if  you  stretched  out  of  the  window 
you  could  shake  hands  with  your  opposite  neighbor, 
just  as  Kay  and  Gerda  did  in  the  Snow  Queen." 

"But  how  do  you  know  all  this?  Have  you  been 
there?  I  will  not  allow  my  children  to  be  taken  to 
these  slums,"  cried  Frau  Plessen. 

"I've  not  been  there  yet,  but  next  time  I  am  out 
by  myself  I'm  going,"  I  said.  "I  will  not  stay  in  the 
Stift  with  Fraulein  Popper.  If  I  am  to  be  on  my 
own  I  will  lodge  with  Frau  Bach.  Otherwise  I  will 
go  back  to  England." 


XII 


WE  argued  the  question  without  heat  a  little 
longer.  Frau  Plessen  was  really  indifferent 
to  what  became  of  me  while  she  went  to 
Eutin  so  long  as  I  was  off  her  hands ;  but  she  pointed 
out  that  the  proprieties  would  be  better  satisfied  if 
I  placed  myself  under  the  wing  of  a  highly  respectable 
person  like  Fraulein  Popper  than  if  I  lived  unpro- 
tected in  a  quarter  of  Hamburg  that  might  be  pic- 
turesque but  was  not  considered  genteel.  I  said  that 
as  no  one  in  Hamburg  knew  me  it  could  not  matter 
much  what  I  did  or  where  I  lived  for  a  short  time, 
that  three  weeks  would  pass  like  a  flash  and  that  be- 
fore anyone  had  noticed  my  absence  I  should  be 
on  the  top  note  of  respectability  again  in  the  Alte 
Yungfernstieg. 

I  did  not  want  to  spend  three  weeks  with  Fraulein 
Popper  because  I  had  seen  her  several  times  and  dis- 
liked her.  She  was  acid,  quarrelsome,  offensively 
hostile  to  England  and  the  English.  She  lived  in  one 
of  those  almshouses  for  maiden  ladies  that  Germans 
call  Stifter,  and  when  she  came  to  see  us  her  conversa- 
tion always  turned  on  the  petty  intrigues  and  jealousies 
of  the  inmates.  When  she  was  young  she  had  spent 
three  months  in  Liverpool  with  German  relatives, 
and  on  the  strength  of  this  experience  she  knew  more 
about  my  countryfolk  than  I  did.  She  had  a  very 
86 


IRON   COUSINS  87 

low  opinion  of  them  in  every  way  and  said  extraor- 
dinary things  about  English  girls.  She  expressed  her 
surprise  that  the  Plessens  took  one  into  their  house 
and  told  the  most  sensational  stories  of  what  had  hap- 
pened to  virtuous  German  families  who  had  harbored 
British  serpents  in  their  bosoms.  They  were  stories 
I  hardly  understood  at  the  time,  but  I  could  feel  the 
venom  that  quickened  them.  She  was  a  singularly 
ugly  woman  with  oily  hair  covering  her  ears  like 
beetles'  wings,  a  yellow  wrinkled  skin  and  sharp  shifty 
brown  eyes.  She  knew  the  Crefelds  slightly  and  talked 
of  them  with  a  disparaging  note  in  her  voice  as  "those 
rich  Jews" ;  and  she  was  at  daggers  drawn  with  Miss 
Campbell  whom  she  usually  spoke  of  as  Fraulein 
Cohen.  I  would  not  have  spent  three  weeks  with 
her  if  I  could  have  got  into  a  workhouse  and  at  last 
I  said  so  plainly  to  Frau  Plessen.  She  did  not  under- 
stand my  point  of  view  and  told  me  that  Fraulein 
Popper  only  stated  facts  with  regard  to  English  people 
and  that  their  moral,  industrial  and  military  decadence 
could  not  be  disputed.  If  you  have  never  come  across 
folk  who  talk  of  your  country  in  this  way  you  can 
have  no  idea  how  difficult  it  is  to  dispute  their  state- 
ments and  put  them  in  the  wrong.  I  had  no  statistics 
at  my  fingers'  ends,  precious  little  history,  and  a  nar- 
row personal  experience.  You  may  say  then  as  they 
did,  that  I  was  too  ignorant  to  have  an  opposite 
opinion.  But  I  had  one  all  the  same.  Every  word 
spoken  against  England  stirred  my  faith  in  her  and 
my  affection,  the  affection  that  had  life-long  roots  in 
little  things  and  that  exile  seemed  to  increase.  But 
I  am  feeble  in  debate  and  I  fear  that  I  did  not  take 
up  the  cudgels  for  my  country  as  a  more  instructed 


88  IRON   COUSINS 

person  would  have  done.  However,  I  made  Frau 
Plcssen  understand  that  I  would  not  have  anything 
to  do  with  Fraulein  Popper. 

The  day  before  we  started  for  Schondorf  I  went 
to  the  Melkstrasse,  saw  Marie's  aunt,  Frau  Bach, 
and  engaged  my  room.  It  was  barely  furnished  but 
clean,  and  its  casement  windows  gave  on  the  canal.  A 
boat  was  moored  just  below,  which  I  was  told  belonged 
to  the  warehouses  on  the  ground  floor.  I  arranged  that 
I  was  to  pay  five  shillings  a  week  for  my  room  and 
sixpence  a  day  for  my  breakfast.  For  a  shilling  I 
could  get  an  ample  midday  meal  at  a  restaurant  close 
by  and  I  should  fetch  myself  anything  I  fancied  for 
supper  from  a  Delikatessen  shop.  Marie  had  put  me 
in  the  way  of  life  in  German  lodgings  by  telling  me 
stories  of  her  aunt's  lodgers,  so  I  knew  that  Frau  Bach 
would  not  cook  for  me.  I  thought  my  three  weeks 
there  would  be  quite  amusing  and  I  did  not  expect 
to  mind  the  loneliness.  I  meant  to  work  hard  at  my 
German  and  to  see  more  of  Hamburg  and  its  environs 
than  I  was  able  to  while  I  was  on  duty  at  the  Pies- 
sens.  For  the  next  seven  weeks  life  looked  what  I 
wanted  it  to  be  in  those  days,  varied  and  enterprising. 
To  live  with  well-to-do  Germans  as  governess  to  their 
children,  to  travel  with  them  to  a  new  part  of  Ger- 
many and  then  to  spend  three  weeks  by  myself  in 
respectable  lodgings!  These  are  tame  adventures  I 
know,  but  they  are  all  the  story  I  have  to  tell.  I 
went  out  for  to  see  in  the  traditional  way,  bound  by  my 
decorous  past  and  hedged  in  by  my  disabilities;  dis- 
abilities of  nature  as  well  as  of  class  and  circum- 
stances. If  I  had  been  a  man  I  would  have  chosen 
a  calling  that  took  me  to  the  ends  of  the  earth  and 


IRON   COUSINS  89 

if  I  had  been  a  bolder  woman  I  should  have  traveled 
to  them  somehow  in  my  skirts.  But  man  is  only 
imperfectly  master  of  his  fate.  What  he  is  born 
counts  and  so  does  what  he  is  educated.  I  had  and 
still  have  occasional  rushes  of  desire  for  the  long  trail, 
the  great  seas  and  skies  and  foreign  people.  I  still 
hope  that  some  day  I  may  see  the  world.  But  wher- 
ever I  go  I  shall  never  enjoy  a  journey  more  than 
I  did  that  humble  one  from  Hamburg  to  Schondorf 
when  in  the  early  morning  of  a  summer  day  we  began 
to  travel  through  the  wooded  hills  and  valleys  of  Thu- 
ringia.  Such  a  peaceful,  beautiful  country  it  looked, 
with  little  old  towns  and  villages  in  safe  places,  with 
rivers  and  cornfields,  orchards  and  big  rambling  farm- 
steads. But  the  hills  dominate  this  region  of  Germany, 
for  they  close  in  on  the  valleys  where  men  have  set 
their  habitations,  giving  shelter  and  beauty. 

We  were  all  very  tired  when  we  got  to  Schondorf, 
but  I  did  not  mind  being  tired  because  it  was  so  amus- 
ing to  arrive  at  a  real  German  Kurhaus  and  be  stared 
at  by  rows  of  real  German  Kurgaste,  and  after  we 
had  tidied  ourselves,  sit  down  to  the  astonishing 
plenty  of  a  German  evening  meal.  The  children  who 
had  been  cross  because  they  were  tired,  recovered 
under  the  soothing  influence  of  roast  veal  and  a  real 
Bavarian  Mehl  speise.  Herr  Plessen  unbuttoned  his 
waistcoat,  used  one  of  the  toothpicks  ornamenting  the 
tables  in  large  quantities,  said  the  cooking  was  quite 
decent,  asked  if  the  beer  was  frisch  angestecht,  drank 
at  least  a  quart  of  it  icy  and  foaming,  and  when  he 
had  finished  sat  down  to  coffee  and  Skat  with  two 
fellow-fishermen  he  had  found  there.  I  tasted  the 
beer.  That  is  how  I  know  it  was  icy.  Frau  Plessen 


90  IRON   COUSINS 

said  that  in  Bavaria  everyone  drank  beer  as  a  matter 
of  course  and  that  she  considered  it  safer  for  the 
children  than  milk  or  water.  So  Herr  Plessen  had 
a  big  glass  and  we  had  little  glasses  and  he  told  us 
that  if  we  drank  it  every  day  for  a  month  we  should 
all  become  fat  and  comfortable.  After  supper  Frau 
Plessen  and  I  unpacked  our  trunks  and  put  away  our 
clothes  and  the  children's.  We  had  four  bedrooms 
on  the  first  floor.  I  had  a  little  one  to  myself  that 
delighted  me.  It  had  a  wooden  box  bedstead  with 
an  enormous  feather  plumeau  instead  of  an  eiderdown 
quilt,  a  big  old-fashioned  sofa  with  a  table  in  front, 
a  chest  of  drawers  and  a  washstand.  Every  day 
while  I  was  there  the  painted  floor  was  washed  all 
over,  the  bedclothes  were  of  linen,  rather  coarsely 
woven  but  very  soft  and  clean,  and  embroidered  with 
big  monograms.  The  windows  looked  on  the  Kur- 
haus  garden  and  beyond  that  on  hill  and  forest.  At 
night,  however  hot  the  day  had  been,  a  cool  scented 
air  came  in  from  the  pine  trees,  and  early  every  morn- 
ing I  was  waked  by  the  little  gooseherd  who  always 
piped  the  same  song  to  his  geese  and  called  them  to 
follow  him  for  the  day  to  the  common  land  between 
the  low-lying  meadows  and  the  forest.  Sometimes 
our  walks  would  take  us  where  he  lazed  the  hours 
away  midst  his  flock,  and  at  dusk  I  often  managed 
to  be  in  the  main  village  when  he  came  back  again 
because  I  liked  to  see  the  birds  separate  themselves 
and  waddle  home  cackling  to  each  other  about  their 
affairs  as  busily  as  we  cackle  to  our  kind  about  ours. 
The  children  were  as  fond  of  the  village  as  I  was, 
and  when  we  could  we  loitered  there.  The  houses 


IRON   COUSINS  91 

were  all  detached  and  everyone  seemed  to  be  an  inn 
at  which  summer  guests  were  boarded  and  passers-by 
ate  and  drank  at  all  hours  of  the  day.  The  landlord 
of  the  inn  was  usually  a  good  advertisement  for  his 
own  wares.  He  either  sunned  himself  outside  his 
house  or  drank  beer  with  his  customers  inside,  the 
picture  of  digestive  satisfaction  and  good  humor.  He 
usually  had  what  our  rude  forefathers  called  a  round 
belly  and  as  far  as  I  could  see  he  did  nothing  to 
earn  his  living  except  draw  beer  and  distribute  it. 
But  the  women  of  the  household  worked  like  blacks. 
They  did  all  the  cooking  and  cleaning,  they  waited 
on  their  guests,  they  fed  the  animals  they  owned,  they 
helped  to  harvest  the  crops  and  they  fetched  the  water 
they  used  from  the  village  pump  in  heavy  buckets, 
and  they  staggered  up  and  down  the  hilly  roads  with 
loads  on  their  backs  that  looked  more  fit  for  ponies 
than  for  the  mothers  of  men. 

A  stream  with  bridges  across  ran  right  through  the 
village,  leaving  room  on  either  side  for  the  country 
carts  yoked  with  oxen  and  laden  with  produce  or  with 
timber  that  passed  up  and  down  all  day  and  at  times 
by  night.  Even  in  the  Kurhaus,  which  was  set  a  little 
apart  from  the  village,  I  could  hear  the  crack  of  the 
driver's  whip  as  loud  as  a  shot  from  a  gun  and  let 
off  with  the  same  insouciance  at  midnight  as  at  mid- 
day. Oscar  and  Arthur  both  bought  themselves 
whips  on  the  first  opportunity  and  practiced  cracking 
them  with  so  much  danger  to  themselves  and  everyone 
within  reach  that  Frau  Plessen  on  receiving  a  flick 
from  one  boxed  their  ears  impartially  and  took  both 
whips  away.  I  never  saw  anyone  so  ready  with  her 


92  IRON   COUSINS 

hands  when  it  was  a  question  of  discipline.  In  fact, 
I  had  heard  of  people  having  their  ears  boxed  but  I 
had  never  seen  it  done  till  I  went  to  Germany.  She 
had  a  way,  too,  of  giving  a  child  a  sudden  hard  slap 
across  the  mouth  that  turned  me  sick,  for  she  wore 
heavy  rings,  and  the  two  girls  told  me  how  they 
dreaded  a  blow  of  this  kind  and  how  painful  it  was. 
But  they  took  correction  for  granted  and  Frau  Pies- 
sen  administered  it  in  a  matter-of-course  way  without 
hesitation  or  concealment.  She  said  that  the  most 
modern  theories  advocated  education  by  kindness,  but 
that  she  believed  in  an  occasional  pepper  of  severity. 

"A  child  must  learn  that  it  has  no  will  of  its  own," 
she  pronounced.  I  did  not  agree  with  her  and  said 
so,  but  she  paid  no  attention  to  my  opinion.  She  gave 
me  to  understand  that  American  and  English  children 
presented  an  awful  warning  to  the  world  because 
they  were  so  spoilt  and  unmanageable.  I  said  that 
I  knew  nothing  about  American  children  but  that 
English  nurseries  and  schoolrooms  were  managed 
well.  Of  course  she  knew  better.  She  informed  me 
of  what  took  place  in  England  and  she  informed  a 
family  of  Americans  staying  at  the  Kurhaus  of  what 
happened  in  New  York.  They  lived  there  and  she 
had  never  crossed  the  Atlantic  but  she  contradicted 
them  flatly  on  various  points  and  bridled  with  offense 
when  they  laughed  at  her  facts.  You  could  not  con- 
vince that  woman  that  she  did  not  know  everything. 

"My  aunt  is  a  charming  woman,"  said  Herr  Heiling, 
"but  she  has  always  ruled  the  roost.  She  is  Sir 
Oracle,  and  when  she  opes  her  mouth  no  dog  may 
bark." 


IRON   COUSINS  93 

He  had  arrived  in  Schondorf  unexpectedly  the  day 
before  and  we  were  sitting  in  the  forest  with  the 
children.  He  had  just  picked  up  a  pocket  volume 
of  Shakespeare  I  had  with  me  and  had  opened  it  at 
that  scene  in  the  Merchant  of  Venice  where  Gratiano 
reproaches  Antonio  for  his  melancholy. 


XIII 

WE  had  all  been  sitting  at  supper  at  the  Kur- 
haus  the  day  before  when  Herr  Heiling 
walked  into  the  Speisesaal,  and  in  his  most 
genial  manner  bid  us  good  evening.  The  Plessens 
looked  surprised,  more  surprised  than  pleased,  but 
Herr  Heiling  was  in  such  high  spirits  that  a  little  want 
of  warmth  could  not  affect  him.  He  kissed  Frau 
Plessen's  hand  with  an  air  of  being  pleased  with  his 
own  chivalry.  He  complimented  her  on  her  looks  and 
admired  her  gown.  He  did  not  literally  smack  his 
uncle  on  the  back,  but  he  seemed  to  bubble  over  with 
joy  at  seeing  him ;  and  he  told  his  young  cousins  that 
he  had  come  all  the  way  from  Hamburg  on  purpose 
to  take  them  to  the  fair  at  Waldorf  on  Sunday.  Me 
he  greeted  politely,  but  otherwise  ignored.  But  after 
supper  when  the  children  had  gone  to  bed  I  went  into 
the  garden  which  was  nearly  as  light  as  by  day  that 
evening  because  the  moon  was  at  its  full;  and  I  had 
not  been  there  long  before  Herr  Heiling  joined  me. 

"My  uncle  is  playing  Skat  and  my  aunt  is  sitting 
with  other  ladies,"  he  said.  "I  asked  her  to  come  out 
but  she  is  afraid  of  the  night  air." 

We  walked  up  and  down  one  of  the  main  paths 
once  or  twice,  meeting  the  same  people  each  time  we 
turned:  two  couples,  visibly  amorous  and  clinging  to 
each  other  sentimentally. 

94 


IRON   COUSINS  95 

"Take  my  arm,"  said  Herr  Heiling  before  long. 

"No,  thank  you,"  said  I. 

"Why  not?" 

"I'm  going  in  now." 

"It  is  more  agreeable  out  here.  We  will  go  for  a 
little  walk." 

I  suppose  I  ought  not  to  have  given  in  to  him  and 
gone  for  that  little  walk,  but  I  enjoyed  it.  I  hardly 
know  how  to  tell  you  how  much  I  enjoyed  it.  We 
went  out  of  the  Kurhaus  garden  right  through  the 
sleepy,  empty  village  and  a  little  way  into  the  woods 
on  the  other  side.  We  talked  about  German  fairy 
tales  and  I  felt  quite  happy  and  at  ease.  He  told  me 
that  I  must  read  "Die  Versunkene  Glocke"  and 
"Hamnele,"  and  that  when  he  got  back  to  Hamburg 
he  would  send  them  to  me. 

"How  long  are  you  going  to  be  here?"  he 
asked. 

"Three  weeks  longer." 

"And  then,  when  my  aunt  goes  to  Eutin?" 

"I  am  coming  back  to  Hamburg." 

"Impossible !" 

"I've  taken  a  room  in  the  Melkstrasse.  I'm  going 
to  be  there  by  myself  for  three  weeks  and  read  Ger- 
man from  morning  till  night.  I'm  looking  forward 
to  it  immensely." 

He  got  quite  angry  and  said  his  aunt  ought  to  know 
better  and  that  he  would  speak  to  her  seriously  to- 
morrow, 

"If  you  do  I  will  never  forgive  you,"  I  told  him. 
"For  three  weeks  .  .  .  and  what  is  three  weeks  ?  .  .  . 
I  am  going  to  be  on  my  own.  I  might  have  gone  to 
Fraulein  Popper's  Stift  but  I  refused." 


96  IRON   COUSINS 

"Why  did  you  refuse?" 

"I  detest  Fraulein  Popper." 

"So  do  I!    Alte  Klatsch-base!" 

We  both  laughed  and  the  sense  of  youth  was  with 
us,  youth  and  mischief  and  a  world  that  is  youth's 
kingdom.  For  us  the  moonlight,  for  us  the  moist 
heavy  fragrance  of  the  pines  that  night,  for  us  a 
cameraderie  that  did  not  reckon  with  the  boundaries 
of  convention. 

"I  will  come  to  see  you  when  you  are  at  the  Melk- 
strasse,"  he  said. 

"Yes,  do,"  said  I.  What  else  could  I  say?  I  saw 
no  harm  in  it.  From  the  beginning  I  had  liked  him 
with  reservations,  and  that  night  I  whistled  the 
reservations  to  the  winds  and  made  up  my  mind  to 
take  him  as  he  gave  himself,  an  admirer  beyond  doubt, 
but  one  with  whom  it  behooved  me  to  walk  delicately 
because  of  the  difference  at  that  time  in  our  positions. 
I  had  complete  confidence  in  my  own  sense.  I  was  as 
ignorant  of  life  as  girls  of  my  home  history  still  are  at 
my  age.  I  had  picked  up  the  ideas  of  the  market- 
place about  the  relations  of  the  sexes  and  to  tell  the 
truth  I  was  finding  out,  as  Aunt  Susan  said  I  should, 
that  the  career  of  governess  in  a  private  family  is 
not  an  agreeable  one.  Aunt  Susan  had  never  talked 
to  me  at  all  about  love  and  marriage.  Mrs.  David 
had  talked  of  marriage  as  a  social  arrangement  de- 
pending chiefly  on  your  financial  circumstances,  and 
Isabella,  before  she  met  Mr.  Saddington,  was  all  for 
love,  the  right  to  motherhood,  elemental  passions  and 
the  glorious  crowded  hours  of  union  blessed  by 
Nature  but  not  by  Society.  Isabella,  you  may  gather, 
was  a  goose,  but  she  cackled  with  a  chorus  whose 


IRON   COUSINS  97 

voices  had  sounded  in  my  ears  directly  I  got  away 
from  Aunt  Susan's  drawing-room  in  Chelsea.  It  was 
not  a  chorus  in  which  I  had  ever  felt  disposed  to 
join.  I've  been  a  fool  in  my  time,  as  you  will  see 
if  you  have  patience,  but  I've  never  been  the  kind 
of  fool  who  thinks  the  world  has  waited  all  these 
years  for  the  whipper-snappers  of  a  generation  to 
teach  it  everything. 

"To-morrow  we  will  come  out  again,"  said  Herr 
Heiling,  as  we  parted  at  the  door  of  the  Kurhaus,  and 
he  held  my  hand  a  moment  longer  than  he  need  have 
done  as  he  bid  me  good  night. 

I  trod  on  air  as  I  went  upstairs.  I  was  not  going 
to  fall  in  love  with  him  if  I  could  help  it,  but  he  was 
undoubtedly  in  love  with  me  and  I  liked  him  well 
enough  to  feel  exhilarated  and  interested.  I  wondered 
what  would  happen  next  and  how  the  Plessens  and  his 
family  would  take  it  if  ever  he  announced  his  intention 
of  marrying  me.  They  would  not  like  it  probably, 
but  I  did  not  suppose  they  could  raise  any  serious 
objection.  However,  remembering  the  story  of  Al- 
naschar,  I  would  not  let  myself  dwell  on  the  future. 
My  business  in  the  present  was  to  make  up  my  mind 
whether  I  liked  him  well  enough  to  let  him  play  the 
lover  here  in  Schondorf,  and  more  or  less  behind 
the  backs  of  the  Plessens.  I'm  not  secretive  by 
nature  and  the  idea  of  a  clandestine  courtship  offended 
my  taste.  At  the  same  time  all  my  ideas  of  court- 
ship were  English  and  I  was  used  to  hear  of  mean 
and  women  who  arrived  at  an  understanding  before 
their  friends  knew  what  they  were  at.  Besides  those 
moments  of  gradual  approach  when  the  world  is  not 
let  in  yet  are  not  moments  to  throw  away.  Next 


98  IRON   COUSINS 

morning  when  I  went  down  to  breakfast  he  was  there 
before  me.  We  met  without  witnesses  and  his  morn- 
ing mood  was  what  his  evening  one  had  been. 

"You  look  happy,"  he  said. 

"I  am  happy." 

"Because  I  have  come?" 

"Oh !  No !"  I  cried,  with  such  conviction  that  his 
face  fell  and  I  realized  that  I  had  been  uncivil.  If 
I  had  been  adroit  I  might  have  conveyed  an  unpalatable 
truth  in  a  more  inoffensive  way. 

"I  enjoyed  our  walk  last  night,"  I  went  on,  trying 
to  make  good,  "but  I've  enjoyed  myself  every  minute 
of  the  day  since  we  left  Hamburg.  I  love  being  in 
Germany.  To  be  in  this  village  is  like  living  in  a 
fairy  tale." 

"You  make  the  best  of  things.  It  is  your  nature. 
I  have  known  you  now  some  time  and  I  have  never 
seen  you  out  of  temper.  I  am  not  surprised  that  my 
little  cousins  find  you  agreeable  to  live  with.  You 
have  an  instinct  for  the  art  of  life.  It  is  rare." 

While  he  talked  what  I  should  call  nonsense  he 
was  evidently  pleased  by  my  appearance  as  well  as 
by  my  disposition,  for  his  eyes  never  left  me,  and 
when  I  asked  him  if  it  was  going  to  rain  he  said 
something  about  my  plain  blue  linen  frock  and  what 
a  pleasure  it  was  to  see  a  woman  dressed  point  device 
for  the  breakfast  table.  He  hated  a  Hausrock. 

Just  to  annoy  him  I  said  I  thought  they  were  sensible 
thrifty  garments.  Frau  Plessen  always  had  her  break- 
fast and  did  her  housekeeping  in  what  I  should  call 
a  dressing-gown  at  home,  and  about  eleven  o'clock 
she  titivated  for  the  day,  taking  a  long  time  over  it. 


IRON   COUSINS  99 

She  did  her  hair  then,  too,  wearing  a  sort  of  boudoir 
cap  over  her  head  all  through  the  early  hours  of  the 
morning.  Of  course  she  did  not  show  herself  in 
this  guise  at  the  Kurhaus.  She  usually  wore  what 
she  called  a  Reisekostum:  a  coat  and  hobble  skirt  of 
the  shiniest  gray  alpaca,  heavily  braided,  well  made 
and  yet  so  unmistakably  German  in  cut  and  taste 
that  you  would  have  said  Deutschland  tiber  Alles  if 
you  had  met  it  in  Mexico.  Or  was  it  the  woman  her- 
self who  gave  her  nationality  away?  She  came  into 
the  Speisesaal  as  I  stood  talking  to  Herr  Heiling, 
showed  us  both  that  she  was  as  cross  as  two  sticks, 
asked  me  why  the  children  were  not  down,  and  ad- 
dressing a  waiter  told  him  to  bring  breakfast.  He 
went  off  at  a  double  quick  pace  to  do  her  bidding  and 
she  turned  to  me  again. 

"Well,  Miss  Danvers,  are  you  going  to  fetch  the 
children  ?  Must  I  speak  twice  ?" 

Fortune  favored  me.  The  four  children,  as  neat 
as  a  row  of  pins,  entered  the  Speisesaal,  bid  their 
lady  mother  good  morning,  asked  Herr  Heiling  what 
time  they  were  to  start  for  the  fair  and  fell  upon 
their  father  who  joined  us  just  then  with  a  request 
for  extra  pocket  money  to  spend  at  the  stalls  and  on 
the  merry-go-rounds.  I  had  naturally  not  gone 
downstairs  until  I  had  seen  that  the  girls  were  ready. 
They  had  loitered  behind  me  to  try  to  find  a  nickel 
coin  supposed  to  have  hidden  itself  in  the  sofa  in 
their  room.  The  boys  were  not  my  business,  but  I 
often  gave  them  advice  gratis  about  their  finger  nails. 
They  still  wore  sailor  suits  though  they  were  years 
too  old  for  them  in  my  opinion,  and  to-day  they  had 
come  down  in  white  ones  in  honor  of  the  fair. 


ioo  IRON   COUSINS 

"But  it  makes  me  angry  to  hear  my  aunt  speak 
to  you  in  such  a  tone,"  said  Herr  Heiling,  finding  his 
opportunity  later  in  the  day.  "It  is  not  the  way  to 
address  a  young  girl  who  is  educated  and  doubtless 
sensitive." 

We  were  at  the  fair  which  was  a  church  feast  held 
once  a  year  in  a  neighboring  village.  My  hands  were 
full  of  large  heart-shaped  gingerbread  cakes  given 
me  to  guard  by  the  children  while  they  rode  on  the 
merry-go-round  under  their  father's  eye.  Frau  Pies- 
sen  had  not  come  with  us.  She  said  fairs  were 
plebeian  and  that  the  crowd  at  a  village  fair  would  be 
smelly.  The  rest  of  us  had  walked  there  through 
the  woods,  and  before  we  went  to  the  fair  we  all 
dined  at  the  best  inn  in  the  village.  It  was  a  gala 
day  for  the  children  and  for  me.  We  had  roast  goose 
for  dinner  and  hot  pancakes  sopped  in  wine  that  Herr 
Plessen  told  me  were  called  "tipsy  maidens,"  and  the 
children  and  I  drank  white  wine  and  seltzer  water 
with  sugar  in  it  to  make  it  fizz.  After  dinner  some 
of  us  were  in  a  hurry  to  get  to  the  fair,  but  the  men 
would  not  stir  till  they  had  had  coffee  and  smoked 
big  cigars.  To  this  day  when  a  cigar  is  lighted  that 
scene  comes  back  to  me :  a  wide  valley  with  a  village 
at  the  head  of  it,  the  hotel  garden  a  little  way  up 
one  of  the  hills,  our  dinner  table  set  in  the  shade  and 
the  blazing  sun  outside  it,  people  at  other  tables, 
waiters  scurrying  to  and  fro  carrying  piles  of  plates 
and  as  many  mugs  full  of  beer  as  a  conjuror  could; 
in  the  distance  the  braying  of  a  band  and  the  booths 
of  the  fair,  the  children  happy  and  excited,  but 
struggling  with  the  drowsy  sensations  that  were  the 
aftermath  of  their  long  walk,  a  hearty  meal  and  a  con- 


IRON   COUSINS  101 

suming  thirst,  Herr  Plessen  the  picture  of  content- 
ment and  good  humor,  and  Herr  Heiling  opposite  me, 
his  eyes  telling  me  a  story  I  could  not  fail  to  under- 
stand. At  least  I  thought  I  understood  him  better 
than  I  understood  myself. 


XIV 

THREE  weeks  later  the  Plessens  went  to  Eutin, 
and  I  went  to  my  eyrie  in  the  Melkstrasse. 
For  the  first  time  in  my  life  I  was  going  to 
be  as  independent  as  every  self-respecting  bachelor 
girl  desires  to  be  in  the  twentieth  century,  and  I  looked 
forward  to  my  time  there  without  a  qualm.  I  had 
very  little  money;  hardly  enough  to  keep  body  and 
soul  together,  but  that  did  not  trouble  me.  My  body 
was  so  well  nourished  with  the  Plessens  that  I  thought 
it  would  do  it  no  harm  to  live  plainly  for  a  while.  I 
was  not  getting  fat  because  I  am  not  fat  by  nature; 
but  I  was  in  the  pink.  I  had  just  told  Aunt  Susan 
so  and  she  had  replied  that  she  was  glad  to  hear  it, 
but  wished  I  could  have  conveyed  the  same  informa- 
tion in  different  words.  I  had  not  told  her  how  en- 
tirely on  my  own  I  was  going  to  be,  because  I  did  not 
want  her  to  worry.  I  knew  I  could  take  care  of  myself 
in  Hamburg  or  anywhere  else ;  but  I  knew  that  people 
of  Aunt  Susan's  age  are  all  haunted  by  some  idea 
of  danger  to  the  young  that  they  cannot  or  will  not 
explain.  There  is  the  bugbear  of  propriety  too.  She 
might  have  said  that  it  was  improper  for  me  to  be 
living  by  myself  in  a  foreign  town.  Frau  Plessen 
thought  so,  but  let  me  do  it  because  it  suited  her.  I 
did  not  mind  much  what  Hamburg  thought,  because 
I  was  not  going  to  stay  the  rest  of  my  life  there;  and 


IRON   COUSINS  103 

I  knew  that  London  would  not  be  inquisitive  or  cen- 
sorious when  I  went  back.  Apparently  it  was  my 
youth  that  made  the  adventure  improper — my  youth 
and  my  looks.  Because  Fraulein  Popper  and  other 
maiden  ladies  lived  by  themselves,  unimpeached. 
However,  here  I  was,  established  in  my  room  on  the 
fifth  floor,  free  to  come  and  go  as  I  pleased,  having 
my  own  door  key.  I  went  out  for  a  little  walk  the 
evening  I  arrived  so  that  I  might  use  it. 

Nothing  happened,  but  I  did  not  stay  out  long.  I 
would  have  rambled  through  the  city  and  enjoyed  it 
if  I  had  had  another  girl  with  me;  but  a  girl  by  her- 
self is  at  a  disadvantage.  Even  by  daylight  that  held 
good,  I  found.  Miss  Campbell  had  told  me  that  she 
went  everywhere  by  herself  and  at  all  hours,  and  that 
her  deportment  proclaimed  her  for  what  she  was,  a 
gentlewoman  of  immaculate  behavior.  I  had  rather 
built  on  her  experience,  because  I  knew  myself  to  be 
well  behaved ;  or  perhaps  I  should  say  trained  to  a  cor- 
rect behavior  in  city  streets.  But  it  was  borne  in  on 
me  after  a  time  that  to  be  as  plain  as  Miss  Campbell 
must  be  of  great  assistance.  I  got  uncomfortably 
stared  at,  sometimes  followed  and  occasionally  spoken 
to.  It  is  not  a  pretty  side  of  life  to  write  about  and 
I  need  not  dwell  on  it ;  but  I  began  to  understand  Aunt 
Susan's  ideas  and  to  think  there  might  be  something 
in  them. 

I  had  to  go  out  to  buy  what  I  needed,  to  get  air 
and  to  exchange  a  word  here  and  there  with  a  fellow 
creature.  My  landlady,  Frau  Bach,  I  hardly  saw. 
She  was  a  gaunt,  anxious  looking  woman,  evidently 
very  poor  and  rather  deaf.  She  let  every  room  in  her 
flat  and  slept  in  a  cubby  hole  without  a  window  that 


104  IRON   COUSINS 

opened  out  of  her  tiny  kitchen.  Every  day  she  went 
out  washing  and  charring.  Before  she  left  the  house 
in  the  morning  she  brought  me  and  presumably  her 
other  lodgers  our  coffee  and  rolls,  and  when  she  came 
back  at  night  she  gave  me  clean  plates  and  tea  things. 
That  was  the  extent  of  her  service.  I  made  my  own 
bed  and  dusted  my  own  room.  The  other  lodgers 
I  never  saw  and  hardly  ever  heard.  One  was  a  clerk 
in  a  bank  and  the  other  a  school  teacher,  Frau  Bach 
told  me;  and  she  added  of  her  own  accord  that  they 
were  decent,  well-seen  men  who  had  not  liked  the  idea 
of  her  taking  a  young  lady  in  as  lodger,  but  that  she 
had  convinced  them  that  I  was  an  educated  lady  and 
of  the  highest  respectability. 

For  a  week  I  enjoyed  my  solitude.  I  enjoyed  the 
novelty  of  it  and  the  freedom.  Then,  after  seven 
days  of  it,  I  began  to  discover  that  man  is  not  made 
to  live  alone.  I  wished  the  Crefelds  had  been  in  Ham- 
burg, but  I  knew  that  they  were  still  away.  I  should 
have  been  glad  to  see  Miss  Campbell's  disagreeable 
face  and  hear  her  tell  spread-eagle  stories  about  her 
folks  in  Paris.  I  even  had  some  idea  of  looking  up 
Fraulein  Popper,  but  it  was  nipped  in  the  bud  through 
a  chance  encounter  with  her  on  a  steam-boat  when 
she  returned  my  greeting  so  freezingly  that  she  can 
hardly  be  said  to  have  returned  it  at  all,  and  when  I 
attempted  to  speak  turned  her  back  on  me.  At  the 
time  I  thought  she  must  have  heard  that  I  refused 
to  stay  with  her  and  felt  affronted ;  but  one  day  later 
on  when  she  came  to  the  Plessens  she  told  me  in  front 
of  everyone  else  that  she  considered  pleasure  excur- 
sions on  the  Alster  highly  improper  for  a  young  girl 
like  me  who  had  her  living  to  earn  and  was  at  times 


IRON    COUSINS  105 

entrusted  with  the  care  of  well-born  children.  There 
are  various  ways  of  saying  Tosh  in  German  but  they 
are  all  rude,  so  I  asked  her  in  what  way  a  passage  of 
a  quarter  of  an  hour  in  a  crowded  public  steamboat 
could  be  considered  improper.  She  said  it  might  lead 
one  of  a  frivolous  disposition  to  make  undesirable 
acquaintances  and  that  in  fact  she  had  overheard  two 
young  men  speak  of  me.  I  asked  her  what  they  said,  but 
she  would  not  tell  me  and  she  hinted  that  I  was  prob- 
ably vain  enough  already.  She  was  a  vinegar-bottle, 
poor  old  thing.  It  is  annoying  to  be  stared  at  when 
you  are  young  but  perhaps  it  would  be  still  worse  to 
be  so  unattractive  that  everyone  looks  away.  I  hope 
that  I  shall  like  young  people  when  I  am  old  and  have 
a  large  tolerance  for  their  follies  and  mistakes.  I 
believe  I  shall,  for  memory  makes  short  work  of  time 
and  I  shall  look  back  at  my  own  salad  days  when  I 
thought  myself  wise  and  proved  myself  a  fool. 

People  who  have  tried  living  alone  and  borne  it  will 
be  severe  on  me  for  saying  that  at  the  end  of  a  week 
I  found  the  loneliness  of  life  unbearable.  Perhaps 
if  I  had  persevered  and  lived  alone  for  months  I 
should  have  got  past  the  depression  that  began  to  take 
me  by  the  throat  at  the  end  of  seven  days.  I  am  sure 
that  if  I  had  tried  a  bachelor  life  in  London  I  should 
have  enjoyed  it,  for  I  can  stand  my  own  company 
for  a  considerable  portion  of  each  day.  But  in  Lon- 
don I  should  have  had  friends.  They  would  have 
come  to  me  and  I  should  have  gone  to  them  at  times. 
In  Hamburg,  that  September,  I  could  count  the  people 
I  knew  on  the  fingers  of  one  hand,  and  the  only  one 
of  them  who  spoke  to  me  was  Frau  Bach  when  she 
brought  me  my  coffee  in  the  morning  and  my  tea  at 


106  IRON   COUSINS 

night.  I  worked  hard  at  my  German  all  the  morning 
and  at  one  o'clock  went  to  dine  at  a  little  restaurant 
where  you  got  quantity  if  not  quality  for  a  mark  and 
twenty  pfennige ;  about  one  and  three  pence  in  English 
money.  It  was  not  a  bad  little  restaurant  as  far  as 
the  food  and  the  people  who  kept  it  went,  but,  unfor- 
tunately, the  customers  were  all  of  the  sex  that  stares 
and  even  tries  to  scrape  acquaintance  however 
pointedly  you  indicate  that  acquaintance  is  not  desired. 
There  was  one  man  who  became  a  nightmare ;  a  mean- 
looking  nonentity  with  pale  furtive  eyes  and  a  watery 
smile.  I  am  sure  that  he  thought  his  manner  insinu- 
ating. It  was  the  kind  that  edges  near  you  if  it  can 
and  whispers.  I  tried  dining  early  to  avoid  him  and 
then  I  tried  dining  late.  He  took  to  following  me. 
The  day  after  he  began  that  I  did  not  dine  at  all, 
but  remained  indoors  until  dusk,  when  I  was  driven 
out  by  hunger  and  the  need  of  buying  something  for 
supper.  Next  day  I  tried  to  find  a  new  restaurant  and 
hoped  my  difficulties  were  over.  But  they  were  not. 
This  time  the  man  was  big  and  red-faced  with  a  chest 
he  puffed  out  and  bulging  opaque  blue  eyes.  He  had 
a  beard  and  was  middle-aged.  Probably  he  had  a 
wife  and  children.  I  am  sure  he  was  old  enough 
to  know  better.  What  struck  me  at  the  time  and 
strikes  me  still  was  the  crass  stupidity  and  conceit  of 
these  pests.  I  am  not  describing  them  as  especially 
German  at  all.  They  infest  every  big  city.  But  I 
cannot  understand  why  they  do  not  reserve  their  atten- 
tions for  their  female  counterparts:  the  dregs  of  hu- 
manity. What  do  they  gain  by  molesting  people  whose 
gorge  rises  at  the  sight  of  them? 

For  several  days  I  lived  on  a  tin  of  American 


IRON   COUSINS  107 

corned  beef  bought  at  the  nearest  grocer's  shop  and 
did  not  go  to  a  restaurant  at  all.  At  least  I  ate  a  slice 
of  the  beef  for  my  midday  dinner  and  a  penny  Buck- 
ling, a  smoked  herring  that  requires  no  cooking,  with 
my  tea  at  night.  So  I  was  saving  money  on  my  food 
hand  over  fist  and  in  the  flush  of  that  discovery  I 
bought  several  books  I  wanted  and  wondered  why  I 
had  ever  frequented  restaurants  where  men  congre- 
gate and  stuff  and  stare.  Probably  no  well  conducted 
girl  in  Hamburg  would  do  such  a  thing  and  I  had 
brought  trouble  on  myself  by  my  ignorance  of  local 
customs.  Therefore  I  persevered  with  the  corned  beef 
and  the  Buckling,  and  to  this  day  I  cannot  think  of 
either  without  repulsion.  However,  the  Delikatessen 
shops  of  Hamburg  are  excellent,  and  I  had  a  bewilder- 
ing choice  of  galantines,  sausages,  raw  smoked  ham, 
cooked  ham,  smoked  goose  breast,  caviare  and  all 
kinds  of  pickles  and  cheeses  when  I  chose  to  spend  my 
money  on  them.  I  was  in  no  danger  of  starvation. 
There  were  quantities  of  fruit  about,  too,  and  always 
the  best  bread  and  butter  I  had  ever  eaten.  The  Ham- 
burgers are  epicures  in  food.  But  I  had  precious  little 
to  spend  and  had  found  a  bookshop  that  tempted  me 
irresistibly.  So  I  suppose  I  did  underfeed  for  the 
time  being  and  perhaps  got  run  down.  Or  was  it  the 
unaccustomed  loneliness  that  vanquished  me  ?  Or  was 
it  both  together  with  a  week  of  gray  wet  weather  on 
the  top?  When  I  looked  out  of  my  window  I  saw 
sheets  of  rain  coming  down  straight  and  chilly  on  the 
canal  and  pattering  on  the  boat  idly  anchored  and 
apparently  rotting  where  it  swung.  There  was  never 
a  sign  of  life  in  the  opposite  windows.  I  think  they 
must  have  lighted  warehouses,  but  they  were  always 


io8  IRON.  COUSINS 

shut  and  so  dirty  that  I  could  not  see  into  the  room. 
My  old  fancy  about  opposite  neighbors  who  kept  you 
company  had  not  come  true.  Neighbors  came  in  those 
deserted  rooms;  came  and  went  like  memories  when 
you  grow  old.  But  they  were  insubstantial.  Frau 
Bach  had  told  me  that  these  ancient  houses  had  once 
been  the  dwelling  places  of  rich  Hamburg  merchants 
and  their  families  and  that  the  one  facing  me  had 
been  built  for  a  young  man  who  brought  his  bride  to 
it  and  lived  there  with  her  and  their  children  until 
he  died.  They  had  occupied  the  very  rooms  I  could 
have  seen  if  the  windows  had  been  clean;  on  a  lower 
floor  there  had  been  offices  and  on  the  ground  floor 
the  goods  the  merchant  traded  in  and  sent  to  the  docks 
by  the  canal.  Frau  Bach's  grandmother  had  been  a 
servant  in  the  family  and  so  she  knew  a  little  of  its 
history  and  told  me  that  some  of  the  children's  chil- 
dren were  still  living  in  Hamburg  and  prosperous 
while  others  had  sought  their  fortunes  at  the  ends  of 
the  earth  and  fared,  she  knew  not  how.  I  wished  I 
knew  what  the  bride  who  came  to  those  rooms  had 
looked  like  and  what  she  wore  and  how  she  passed 
her  days ;  but  I  made  a  picture  of  her  for  myself  and 
called  her  Minna  because  Frau  Bach  had  spoken  of 
one  of  the  family  by  that  name.  She  had  golden  hair 
and  quiet,  kind  blue  eyes,  a  thin,  delicate  nose  and 
white  hands  that  were  always  busy.  Children  were  at 
her  knees,  servants  waited  on  her  orders,  the  head  of 
the  house  came  to  her  for  counsel  and  consolation.  I 
am  afraid  she  was  not  original,  that  imaginary  woman 
above  rubies ;  but  she  was  extremely  sensible  and  com- 
petent. Not  in  the  least  like  me.  She  wished  for  a 
leisure  hour  at  times  and  I  envied  her  because  she  was 


IRON   COUSINS  109 

pulled  all  ways  by  her  world  and  wanted  on  all  sides. 
She  was  never  alone,  never  doubtful  of  herself,  never 
out  of  spirits.  I  admire  an  equable  temperament  but 
I  do  not  possess  one.  When  I  had  lived  by  myself  for 
ten  days  I  began  to  think  that  the  remaining  eleven 
days  of  solitude  would  be  more  than  I  could  endure 
and  I  had  half  a  mind  to  damn  expense  and  go  to  a 
pension  where  my  fellow  boarders  would  presumably 
speak  to  me  occasionally  even  if  they  did  not  like  the 
look  of  me  or  I  of  them.  In  making  this  confession 
I  know  I  give  myself  away.  There  must  be  something 
wrong  about  me  if  the  society  of  a  cheap  German 
boarding-house  could  hold  out  helping  hands  to  save 
me  from  myself.  I  cannot  explain  it  or  defend  it.  I 
can  only  tell  you  that  when  I  had  been  quite  by  myself 
for  ten  days  I  looked  at  an  old  man  who  sold  news- 
papers and  wished  he  would  talk  to  me.  But  he  was 
busy  and  turned  gruffly  away.  Next  day  a  letter  from 
Frau  Plessen  informed  me  that  her  mother's  health 
made  it  desirable  for  them  to  prolong  their  visit  and 
that  they  would  not  be  back  yet.  When  I  had  read 
the  letter  I  went  out  in  order  to  be  with  people  even 
if  I  could  not  speak  to  them.  I  boarded  a  steam-boat 
crossing  the  Alster  and  tried  to  make  myself  agreeable 
to  an  old  lady  who  dropped  her  hand-bag  and  gave  me 
a  chance.  But  she  looked  at  me  suspiciously  and  said : 

"Englischl" 

I  nodded  my  head  ingratiatingly  and  said  that  I  was 
English  and  that  the  weather  seemed  likely  to  improve. 

"Englisch!"  she  said  again  and  I  nodded  again. 

"Bandits!"  she  said  fiercely. 

I  naturally  could  not  nod  to  that.  I  shook  my  head 
and  thereby  infuriated  her. 


no  IRON   COUSINS 

"Thieves!"  she  said  and  glancing  at  her  hand-bag, 
the  one  I  had  just  restored,  she  clutched  it  tightly 
to  her. 

I  should  have  got  up  but  I  was  afraid  to  move ;  for 
the  boat  had  just  stopped  to  pick  up  fresh  passengers, 
and  one  of  them  was  the  red-faced  man  with  a  puffed- 
out  chest  and  bulging  eyes.  He  saw  me,  raised  his  hat 
and  smiled. 


XV 


I  TOOK  no  notice  of  him  but  he  remained  standing 
close  to  me  and  when  the  old  lady  got  up  at 
the  next  landing  stage  he  sat  down  in  her  place. 
I  turned  my  back  on  him  but  that  did  not  stop  him 
from  speaking  to  me.  He  whispered  in  my  ear  offen- 
sively and  I  got  up.  He  followed  me.  I  should  not 
have  thought  that  even  a  man  of  the  baser  sort  would 
molest  a  strange  girl  on  a  public  boat,  but  this  one  did. 
I  had  not  the  courage  to  appeal  to  anyone  else  after 
the  rebuff  I  had  received  from  the  old  lady.  No  doubt 
I  looked  English  and  no  doubt  the  English  were  un- 
popular in  Hamburg.  The  Nachrichten  and  other 
papers  were  training  their  public  in  the  way  they  were 
to  go  and  I  knew  by  this  time  that  I  was  in  an  enemy 
country.  If  no  one  else  had  been  in  earshot  I  should 
have  told  the  man  that  if  he  spoke  to  me  again  I 
should  give  him  in  charge  to  the  next  policeman  we 
met;  but  I  did  not  want  a  scandal  on  that  crowded 
boat.  It  was  not  a  dangerous  or  a  dramatic  situation, 
but  it  was  detestable ;  and  it  ended  suddenly.  I  have 
only  spoken  of  it  because  the  revulsion  of  feeling  when 
Herr  Heiling  came  on  board  was  so  strong  that  to 
this  day  I  am  sure  that  I  know  what  a  real  heroine 
feels  like  when  she  is  rescued  by  a  real  hero.  Caspar 
Heiling  and  I  have  no  qualities,  I  fear,  for  either  post. 
You  will  see  that  if  you  read  on.  But  at  any  rate  he 
does  not  belong  to  that  underworld  in  which  the  man 


112  IRON   COUSINS 

with  the  puffed-out  chest  and  bulging  eyes  had  his 
being.  He  saw  me  at  once  and  saw  the  man  at  my 
side.  We  never  discussed  the  matter,  but  I  believe 
he  knew  at  a  glance  what  was  happening.  My  face 
may  have  shown  it  and  the  man's  attitude  and  manner. 
I  felt  hot  and  angry;  I  know  my  lips  were  set  firmly 
and  my  eyes  probably  as  indignant  as  my  thoughts. 
The  man  hung  over  me,  whispering. 

Herr  Heiling  came  towards  me  with  the  assured  air 
of  a  friend.  I  was  so  glad  to  see  him  that  I  could 
not  help  letting  him  know  it.  We  shook  hands  and 
began  to  talk.  When  I  looked  round  my  persecutor 
had  sidled  away  and  with  a  scowling  face  was  watch- 
ing us  from  the  stern  of  the  boat.  Next  time  we 
stopped  he  got  off  and  I  never  set  eyes  on  him  again. 

"My  aunt  and  cousins  are  still  away?"  said  Herr 
Heiling. 

"They  will  be  away  another  three  weeks,"  I  said, 
"I  heard  from  Frau  Plessen  this  morning." 

"Unpardonable !" 

He  spoke  with  heat  and  I  understood  him  to  mean 
that  it  was  unpardonable  of  his  aunt  to  leave  me  all 
these  weeks  alone. 

"My  uncle  is  staying  with  us,"  he  told  me.  "He  is 
not  at  home." 

"I  get  off  at  the  next  landing-stage,"  I  said  irrele- 
vantly. 

We  had  been  together  about  three  minutes  and  in 
another  two  minutes  I  should  leave  the  boat  and  walk 
back  to  my  lonely  room  and  my  dinner  of  black  bread 
and  a  smoked  herring.  I  did  not  mind  the  dinner,  but 
I  was  beginning  to  dread  the  interminable  solitude  of 
the  day  as  a  victim  of  insomnia  dreads  the  night. 


IRON   COUSINS  113 

"You  look  ill.  What  is  the  matter?"  asked  Herr 
Heiling. 

"There  is  nothing  the  matter,"  I  said. 

"You  look  thin.  You  are  not  having  enough  to  eat. 
Where  do  you  dine  ?" 

I  hesitated.  He  had  no  right  to  question  me  and 
no  claim  to  my  confidence,  but  he  evidently  did  not 
consider  that  need  give  him  pause.  He  had  a  quick, 
determined  way  with  him  that  carried  you  off  your 
feet  if  you  were  not  on  your  guard;  and  he  had  a 
pride  of  sex  that  is  exploded  in  theory  and  difficult 
to  resist  in  fact.  Besides  he  was  a  king  in  Babylon; 
and  knew  it. 

"I  dine  where  I  choose,"  I  said. 

"Where  are  you  going  to  dine  to-day?" 

"In  my  own  room." 

"What  are  you  going  to  eat  ?" 

"Black  bread  and  a  herring." 

I  did  not  mind  telling  him.  I  thought  it  would  do 
him  good  to  hear  for  once  how  the  poor  live;  and  I 
certainly  did  not  want  him  to  pity  me,  for  I  should 
not  have  pitied  myself  if  I  had  only  had  a  companion 
in  poverty.  But  he  looked  horrified  and  incredulous. 

"And  after  the  herring?" 

"Nothing!  There  is  a  great  deal  of  nourishment 
in  a  smoked  herring." 

"What  do  you  have  for  supper?" 

I  laughed  and  told  him  that  I  sometimes  had  an 
egg  and  sometimes  a  slice  of  sausage;  and  I  tried 
to  change  the  subject  by  telling  him  about  the  book- 
shop I  had  found  and  the  books  I  had  bought.  But  he 
was  not  interested  in  them. 

"What  do  you  do  with  yourself  all  day?"  he  said. 


H4  IRON   COUSINS 

"What  shall  you  do  this  afternoon  when  you  have 
eaten  the  herring?  Have  you  any  friends  in  Ham- 
burg?" 

"Not  one.    The  Crefelds  are  away." 

"Do  you  mean  to  say  that  ever  since  you  got  back 
you  have  lived  like  a  person  on  a  desert  island  or  like 
a  convict  in  a  prison  cell?" 

I  nodded  but  did  not  speak.  I  began  to  wish  I 
had  not  met  him,  because  I  was  not  in  a  sensible  frame 
of  mind.  The  prospect  of  three  more  interminable 
solitary  weeks  and  the  odious  attentions  of  the  man 
with  the  puffed-out  chest  had  shaken  my  nerve. 

"I  may  go  back  to  England,"  I  said,  there  and  then 
envisaging  a  plan  of  action  I  had  not  contemplated 
before. 

"Don't  do  that,"  he  said.    "Stay  here." 

"It  would  be  running  away,"  I  mused.  "I  should 
hate  to  run  away.  Perhaps  the  Crefelds  will  be  back 
soon.  They  said  I  might  go  to  see  them  as  often  as  I 
liked." 

"Meanwhile  you  may  see  me  as  often  as  you  like. 
I  will  call  for  you  this  afternoon  when  I  leave  my 
office  and  we  will  have  supper  together  .  .  .  in  a 
garden.  That  is  what  you  enjoy,  I  know." 

I  hesitated  and  then  I  consented.  He  looked  so 
friendly  and  so  good  humored  that  I  could  not  dis- 
trust him.  What  he  proposed  was  unconventional,  no 
doubt,  but  every  twentieth  century  girl  of  my  age 
prides  herself  on  being  unconventional.  It  would  be 
a  little  adventure  and  I  ask  you  what  chance  of  ad- 
venture has  a  girl  of  my  breed  ?  None  whatever  unless 
she  makes  chances  for  herself.  I  went  back  and  put 
my  room  in  apple-pie  order  and  as  I  did  it  I  sang. 


IRON   COUSINS  115 

My  spirits  had  risen  sky  high  and  I  looked  forward 
to  the  evening  as  an  imprisoned  man  must  look  for- 
ward to  release.  The  thought  of  it  lifted  the  oppres- 
sion that  had  weighed  me  down  for  days. 

Fran  Bach  was  out,  so  when  I  heard  the  bell  I  went 
to  the  door  and  let  Herr  Heiling  in.  I  had  not  ex- 
pected to  feel  shy,  but  everyone  knows  how  one's  feel- 
ings let  one  down  at  times,  and  how  different  the 
reality  of  a  given  moment  often  is  from  any  forecast 
of  it.  However,  I  made  my  manner  as  matter  of  fact 
as  possible,  and  took  him  into  my  room.  He  had 
brought  me  some  roses  and  I  had  to  go  to  Frau  Bach's 
kitchen  to  fetch  a  glass  for  them.  When  I  went  back 
he  was  looking  at  my  books,  and  I  think  they  had 
given  him  ideas  about  me. 

"So  this  is  where  you  live,"  he  said.  "Here  you 
study  and  here  you  eat  your  herring  and  black  bread. 
A  strange  existence  for  a  girl  as  young  and  beautiful 
as  you." 

I  am  not  beautiful;  far  from  it.  But  I  could  not 
dispute  the  point  with  him.  I  wanted  to  keep  the  in- 
terview at  a  matter  of  fact  level  and  not  let  it  last  long 
up  here.  So  I  put  the  roses  into  the  glass  of  water 
I  had  brought  for  them  and  set  it  on  the  table  near 
my  books. 

"Shall  we  go?"  I  said.    "I'm  ready." 

"But  why  are  you  in  such  a  hurry?  You  haven't 
even  asked  me  to  sit  down." 

I  suppose  I  frowned  a  little.  At  any  rate  I  re- 
mained standing  and  on  tiptoe  to  go.  I  was  embar- 
rassed by  his  presence  in  my  room;  I  hardly  knew 
why.  But  then,  at  that  time,  how  little  I  knew  about 
him  or  about  any  other  man.  I  had  lived  the  life  of 


ii6  IRON   COUSINS 

a  nun  in  a  cloister  with  Aunt  Susan  and  I  derived  my 
ideas  from  books  and  from  the  superficial  intercourse 
of  the  drawing-room.  I  know  now  that  Caspar  Heil- 
ing  was  a  young  man  whose  bonnes  fortunes  were  an 
open  secret  amongst  his  friends  and  that  his  reputa- 
tion for  gallantry  did  not  injure  him  even  with  the 
strait-laced.  The  stories  about  him  stamped  him  a 
sinner  but  not  a  villain.  He  had  more  money  than 
was  good  for  him  and  gave  of  it  liberally  to  pretty 
ladies.  He  stood  well  with  more  than  one  young 
married  woman.  His  parents  wanted  him  to  marry, 
but  he  had  refused  to  woo  some  of  the  nicest  girls  in 
Hamburg.  About  this  side  of  him  his  aunt  and  Miss 
Campbell  had  both  dropped  hints,  but  I  understood 
life  so  little  that  they  hardly  affected  my  estimate  of 
him.  I  found  him  attractive  because  he  was  always 
in  a  good  humor,  had  more  vitality  than  most  folks, 
and  a  way  with  him  that  accounted  perhaps  for  his 
successes.  On  looking  back  I  still  believe  that  he 
meant  well  by  me  in  the  beginning.  But  we  both 
allowed  circumstances  to  enmesh  us  more  than  we 
should  have  done.  He  ought  to  have  considered  where 
he  was  going  and  I  ought  to  have  been  worldly  wise. 

"I  can  talk  better  out  of  doors,"  I  said.  "I  am 
tired  of  this  room.  I  have  lived  in  it  night  and  day. 
I  shall  be  so  glad  when  the  Plessens  come  back.  Is 
it  going  to  rain?  Shall  I  take  a  waterproof  and  an 
umbrella?  I  have  my  key." 

"Then  we  may  be  as  late  as  we  like,"  he  said.  "I 
don't  think  it  is  going  to  rain." 

He  had  been  looking  at  every  corner  of  the  room 
with  visible  interest  and  approval;  and  now  he  com- 
mented on  it. 


IRON   COUSINS  117 

"You  are  very  tidy,"  he  said.    "I  like  that." 

Then  he  followed  me  downstairs  and  when  we  were 
in  the  street  I  felt  more  at  ease.  We  took  an  open 
taxi  and  had  a  long  drive  in  it  through  environs  of 
Hamburg  I  had  not  seen  before;  and  I  enjoyed  that 
immensely.  We  got  to  a  small  hotel  with  a  big  garden 
full  of  people  sitting  at  supper.  It  was  on  a  hill  and 
you  looked  at  the  river  from  it  and  the  masts  of  ships. 

"The  cooking  is  excellent  here,"  said  Herr  Heiling, 
and  wanted  me  to  make  my  choice  of  dishes.  But  I 
left  that  to  him,  for  the  sun  was  setting  and  the  masts 
of  the  ships  turned  golden.  I  don't  know  why  the 
sight  of  them  suddenly  made  me  homesick,  but  it  did. 
The  hotel  garden  was  gay  and  crowded,  a  band  was 
playing  a  Strauss  waltz,  and  Herr  Heiling,  having 
ordered  a  sparkling  Moselle,  rilled  my  glass  with  it. 

"Why  are  there  tears  in  your  eyes?"  he  asked,  and 
I  felt  angry  with  myself  for  letting  them  come.  I  was 
not  a  prisoner  in  Germany;  I  could  go  home  any  day 
I  chose.  So  why  weep  at  the  sight  of  ships  and  the 
thought  of  my  own  land?  Evidently  I  was  out  of 
sorts  and  in  a  silly  mood. 

"I  think  it  must  be  the  herrings,"  I  said,  and  he 
looked  surprised  and  puzzled. 

"I  have  heard  that  onions  make  people  cry,  but  I 
have  never  heard  that  herrings  do,"  he  said.  "Besides 
there  are  none  on  the  table.  I  have  ordered  stewed 
oysters  and  venison  and  an  iced  bomb  with  a  chocolate 
sauce." 

I  laughed  because  he  took  what  I  said  so  literally 
and  then  I  had  to  explain  that  my  nerves  had  been 
playing  tricks  lately,  but  that  I  felt  better  already. 

"I  don't  like  being  alone,"  I  said.     "If  I  stay  on 


ii8  IRON   COUSINS 

here  I  think  I  shall  go  to  a  pension  where  there  would 
be  other  people." 

"To-day  you  have  me,"  he  said.  "To-morrow  you 
may  have  me  again.  I  am  at  your  service.  Am  I  not 
enough?" 

He  lifted  his  glass  laughing  and  pledged  me  in  the 
sparkling  golden  wine ;  then  he  quoted  our  well-known 
English  line: 

"Drink  to  me  only  with  thine  eyes,"  he  said. 


XVI 

WHEN  I  got  back  I  thought  things  over  and  I 
decided  that  I  would  not  dine  at  Herr  Heil- 
ing's  expense  again.  He  had  said  that  he 
would  call  for  me  next  day  and  I  had  told  him  not 
to,  but  I  did  not  much  expect  him  to  obey  me.  The 
evening  out  had  done  me  good.  I  slept  better  than 
I  had  done  for  a  week  and  next  morning  the  sun- 
shine streamed  into  my  room  and  lighted  up  the  red 
roses  the  young  man  had  brought  me.  Deep  red  roses 
they  were  and  sweetly  scented.  I  put  them  near  me 
while  I  had  my  breakfast  and  near  me  when  I  settled 
down  to  my  morning's  reading.  Perhaps  they  re- 
minded me  that  I  was  young  and  still  had  roses  to 
gather  and  that  the  last  gray  lonely  weeks  were  not 
going  to  last.  I  did  not  settle  well  to  my  books  that 
morning,  because  my  thoughts  were  on  other  things. 
I  had  to  make  up  my  mind  to  be  sensible  and  firm.  I 
thought  I  had  succeeded,  when  five  o'clock  came  and 
I  heard  the  bell  again.  Unfortunately  the  more  sen- 
sible I  felt  the  less  I  looked  forward  to  the  days  to 
come.  I  opened  the  door  to  Herr  Heiling,  looked  at 
him  and  did  not  invite  him  in. 

However,  he  came,  and  before  I  could  stop  him 
had  gone  into  my  room.  He  did  not  wait  for  me  to 
go  first  and  he  let  me  shut  the  door.  There  were  no 
easy  chairs,  but  he  sat  down  on  the  sofa  and  with  a 

IIQ 


120  IRON   COUSINS 

peremptory  glance  commanded  me  to  sit  beside  him. 
I  took  no  notice  of  it  but  remained  standing. 

"Why  are  you  not  ready  to  go  out?"  he  said. 

"I  am  not  going  out" 

"You  are  coming  with  me.  We  shall  dine  together 
as  we  did  yesterday." 

"No,"  I  said  and  shook  my  head. 

"Where  will  you  dine,  then?" 

"Here." 

"What  will  you  have  for  dinner?" 

"I  don't  know  yet.  I  shall  fetch  something  from 
the  Delikatessen  shop." 

"Very  well.  I  shall  go  with  you  and  we  will  eat 
what  we  buy  up  here.  If  you  want  a  picnic  ..." 

"I  don't  want  a  picnic.  I  can't  have  one.  Don't 
you  see  how  impossible  it  is?  You  ought  to." 

"That  is  why  I  want  you  to  come  with  me.  We 
will  go  where  no  one  knows  us  and  where  we  can 
have  a  few  hours  together  again.  Be  sensible  .  .  . 
Sally." 

He  had  never  called  me  Sally  before  and  I  had 
not  known  before  how  much  cajolery  and  tenderness 
a  man  can  put  into  his  voice  as  it  lingers  over  a  name. 

"I  want  to  be  sensible,"  I  cried.  "That  is  why  I 
will  not  go  with  you  and  why  you  must  not  come  here 
again." 

I  stuck  to  my  guns  for  a  long  time;  until  I  felt 
quite  tired  and  dazed.  But  that  man  had  a  tongue 
and  a  charm  and  a  persistence  that  wore  down  all  my 
carefully  prepared  little  maxims.  He  put  the  comether 
on  me  so  that  I  saw  our  case  in  the  light  of  his  con- 
victions and  my  own  doubts  as  the  artificial  fussiness 
of  a  prude.  I  had  owned  to  being  lonely.  I  was  a 


IRON    COUSINS  121 

foreigner  in  Hamburg  and  not  likely  to  be  recognized. 
I  came  of  a  nation  whose  women  are  used  to  a  com- 
radeship with  men  that  he  thought  wholesome  and 
admirable.  Why  should  I  lag  behind  my  own  tra- 
ditions and  my  own  beliefs? 

I  could  not  speak  plainly.  I  could  not  tell  him  that 
I  would  have  gone  with  him  more  readily  if  I  had  not 
known  that  comradeship  between  us  had  become  a 
fiction,  and  that  we  stood  where  youth  and  passion 
meet,  either  for  our  happiness  or  our  undoing.  I  was 
surprised  at  myself.  I  had  said  that  I  would  not  go 
with  him  again  and  that  he  must  not  come  to  me; 
but  I  found  that  all  my  garnered  wisdom  of  the  inter- 
vening hours  vanished  like  smoke  in  his  presence ;  and 
that  my  determination  gave  way  to  his. 

"Will  you  promise  not  to  ask  me  again?"  I  bar- 
gained. 

"To  ask  you  what?"    He  pretended  to  be  puzzled. 

"To  dine  with  you  at  a  restaurant.  Once  was  an 
adventure.  Twice  is  an  anxiety.  A  third  time  ..." 

"But  why  ?  Since  we  both  want  dinner  why  should 
we  not  dine  together?  To-morrow  is  Sunday.  I  am 
coming  for  you  quite  early  in  the  morning.  I  want 
to  take  you  a  long  way  out  of  Hamburg  where  there 
is  a  great  heath  and  a  river  and  a  little  lake.  We  will 
have  a  day  that  we  shall  remember  all  our  lives.  It 
will  stand  out  from  the  general  grayness.  It  will  be 
as  warm  as  the  sun  and  as  purple  as  the  heather.  You 
have  not  drunk  of  life  yet.  You  are  not  half  awake. 
Everything  is  waiting  for  you  .  .  .  Sally." 

I  felt  stirred  by  the  passion  in  his  voice  and  man- 
ner, but  I  was  not  quite  carried  off  my  feet  yet;  and 
there  was  one  fact  in  the  situation  that  to  my  mind 


122  IRON    COUSINS 

was  sordid  but  uncomfortably  prominent.  I  had  no 
money  for  dinners  and  expeditions;  and  no  mind  to 
enjoy  them  at  his  expense.  I  knew  it  would  be  a  deli- 
cate business  to  tell  him  so  because  he  seemed  to  think 
that  money  was  not  a  subject  for  discussion  between 
us  and  that  I  showed  a  want  of  tact  in  mentioning  it. 
I  tried  to  compromise. 

"I'll  come  to-night,  then,"  I  said.  "But  I  won't 
come  on  Sunday  unless  I  pay  my  own  train  fares  and 
take  my  own  sandwiches." 

His  laugh  did  one  good  to  hear.  It  was  genuine 
and  boyish.  He  laughed  at  me  now  as  he  laughed  at 
his  little  cousins  when  they  said  something  that 
amused  him. 

"Good !"  he  cried.  "You  shall  have  your  own  way. 
We  will  have  a  day  in  the  wilderness  together.  You 
shall  bring  the  loaf  of  bread  and  I  will  bring  the  flask 
of  wine.  It  will  be  enough  for  me." 

"I  still  think  of  going  back  to  England,"  I  said  a 
little  later  when  we  sat  at  dinner  together  in  a  hotel 
on  the  outer  Alster.  We  had  gone  to  it  in  a  taxi, 
although  we  might  have  taken  a  steamboat,  but  he 
said  a  taxi  would  get  us  there  quicker. 

"How  can  you  think  of  it?"  he  said,  putting  down 
his  knife  and  fork,  as  if  what  I  said  took  away  his 
appetite.  "What  do  you  mean?" 

I  hardly  knew  what  I  meant  myself  or  even  if  I 
really  meant  to  go ;  but  I  was  not  in  a  calm  frame  of 
mind.  I  did  not  like  what  was  happening  to  me  and 
I  did  like  it  overmuch;  more  than  anything  that  had 
ever  happened  to  me  before.  Every  moment  of  that 
evening  comes  back  to  me  as  I  write  and  so  do  the 
surroundings  in  which  I  spent  those  charged  hours. 


IRON   COUSINS  123 

We  were  dining  in  a  big,  half  empty  room  in  a  corner 
near  a  window  that  faced  the  water.  Other  people 
were  dining  too,  and  some  were  young  and  some  were 
old,  but  none  of  them  were  in  one  mood.  You  could 
see  that  by  their  faces.  We  sat  next  to  each  other 
with  our  backs  to  the  room  because  we  did  not  want 
to  be  stared  at.  I  could  not  help  knowing  that  I  sat 
there  with  a  lover,  a  man  whose  eyes  told  their  story 
when  they  met  mine  and  who  was  more  restless  and 
unsatisfied  than  I  thought  he  need  have  been.  He 
had  not  received  any  assurances  from  me  yet,  but 
then  he  had  not  asked  for  them  plainly.  When  he 
did  ...  I  was  beginning  to  think  that  I  should  like 
to  be  in  England  when  he  did  ...  in  my  own  house 
and  with  Aunt  Susan.  I  asked  myself  what  she  would 
think  of  Caspar  and  he  of  her  and  I  hardly  knew  how 
to  answer. 

"I  have  not  seen  my  aunt  for  months,"  I  said. 

"What  is  an  aunt?"  he  said  impatiently.  "Look  in 
the  glass  and  see  if  Nature  has  made  you  what  you 
are  for  an  aunt.  You  talk  like  a  child.  Isn't  it  time 
that  you  grew  up?" 

"I'm  growing  up  fast,"  I  said,  and  that  seemed  to 
please  him. 

"We  will  not  come  to  these  public  rooms  again," 
he  said.  "I  can't  say  what  I  want.  I  can't  even  look 
at  you.  People  watch  and  stare  ..."  He  shifted  his 
chair  suddenly  so  as  to  turn  it  still  more  on  the  room. 

"Promise  me  to-night  that  you  will  not  go  back  to 
England,"  he  said. 

"I  must  go  back  some  time." 

"Why  must  you?" 

"I  belong  there." 


124  IRON   COUSINS 

"A  woman  belongs  where  she  gives  herself  .  .  . 
where  she  loves." 

What  next  I  wondered ;  and  my  instinct  was  to  stop 
him.  He  flurried  me.  I  was  not  ready  for  a  declara- 
tion then  and  there.  To-morrow  in  the  wilderness, 
perhaps;  but  not  here  in  a  public  dining-room  with 
waiters  coming  to  and  fro;  and  people  watching  us 
inquisitively.  I  looked  at  my  watch. 

"Why  do  you  do  that?"  he  said.  "You  are  in  no 
hurry.  You  have  no  one  waiting  for  you." 

"I'm  afraid  the  shops  will  be  shut,"  I  told  him. 
"I  want  to  buy  things  for  our  sandwiches  to-morrow." 

He  moved  impatiently,  made  that  angry  click  with 
his  tongue  that  sounds  like  Tcha — and  then  laughed. 

"You  can  look  as  you  look  to-night  and  yet  have 
sandwiches  on  your  mind,"  he  said. 

"But  if  they  were  not  on  my  mind  to-night  they 
would  not  be  in  our  hands  to-morrow  and  then  we 
should  go  hungry." 

"Not  at  all.  We  should  go  to  the  hotel  like  sensible 
people." 

"To-morrow,"  I  said.  "A  long  friendly  day  to- 
morrow and  then  we  do  not  meet  again  until  we  meet 
at  your  aunt's  dinner  table." 

"Who  says  so?" 

"I  do." 

He  looked  at  me,  said  nothing,  called  our  waiter  and 
paid  his  bill.  Then  he  helped  me  on  with  my  coat  and 
we  went  out  into  the  moonlit  street  together. 

"Shall  we  walk  back?"  he  said. 

"But  you  live  in  this  direction  and  I  right  over 
there." 

"I  am  coming  with  you." 


IRON   COUSINS  125 

"There  is  no  need." 

"I  hope  you  do  not  go  out  by  yourself  in  Hamburg 
as  late  as  this.  Promise  me  that  you  never  will." 

He  was  solemn  and  persistent  and  I  was  inclined 
to  be  annoyed  at  him.  But  we  had  an  agreeable  walk. 

"It  isn't  enough,  though,"  he  said  as  I  bid  him  good- 
night. "Restaurants  and  streets  .  .  .  always  restau- 
rants and  streets.  Ungetnuthlich.  Why  can't  I  come 
and  see  you  in  your  room  .  .  .  where  we  could  sit 
and  talk  .  .  .  just  for  an  hour  or  two." 

"It  does  seem  silly,"  I  agreed. 

"Then  let  me  come  .   .  .  now." 

I  shook  my  head. 

"I'm  breaking  rules  enough,"  I  told  him.  "I'm  run- 
ning risks,  too.  What  would  your  uncle  and  aunt 
and  my  Aunt  Susan  say  if  they  knew  I'd  dined  with 
you  two  nights  running  and  was  going  out  with  you 
for  a  whole  day  to-morrow?  They  would  have  fits." 

"What  are  fits?" 

"Anfalle.  Attacks  of  illness  caused  by  our  shock- 
ing behavior." 

We  stood  talking  in  the  pavement  for  a  minute  or 
so  longer.  It  certainly  was  a  makeshift  way  of  say- 
ing the  lingering  farewell  we  both  desired,  but  as  I 
told  him,  we  had  had  a  good  many  hours  in  which  to 
say  what  we  wanted  to  say. 

"You  enjoy  tormenting  people,"  he  cried.  "I've 
often  seen  it  in  your  eyes  .  .  .  when  you've  been 
teasing  my  little  cousins." 

I  bid  him  good-night. 


XVII 

WHEN  I  went  to  bed  that  night  I  knew  that 
Caspar  and  I  were  very  much  in  love  with 
each  other  and  I  thought  that  we  should 
probably  return  from  next  day's  excursion  a  betrothed 
couple.  There  was  no  reason  why  we  should  not 
marry  that  I  could  see.  He  had  money  and  I  had  not ; 
but  in  England  we  were  used  to  girls  without  money 
marrying  as  easily  as  girls  who  were  well  endowed. 
I  did  not  consider  myself  his  inferior  socially.  At 
least  I  knew  I  should  not  if  we  could  have  met  at 
my  aunt's  house  or  amongst  any  of  our  friends.  If 
anything  it  was  the  other  way.  Aunt  Susan's  friends 
and  relations  were  mostly  in  the  Church  or  the  Ser- 
vices and  not  what  she  called  "in  trade."  No  doubt 
her  distinctions  and  her  prejudices  were  out  of  date. 
At  least  I  gathered  from  the  Plessens  that  they  had 
their  counterpart  in  Germany  but  naturally  not  in 
Hamburg  business  circles.  However,  I  did  not  ex- 
pect any  serious  opposition  from  my  young  man's 
family.  At  any  rate  I  supposed  he  was  prepared  to 
overcome  it.  I  thought  he  was  probably  independent 
of  them  financially,  but  I  did  not  know.  When  I  look 
back  at  that  time  I  can  see  how  surprisingly  little  I 
knew  in  some  ways.  I  had  never  met  his  parents  or 
been  inside  his  home.  There  had  been  meetings  be- 
tween the  families,  but  I  had  not  once  been  of  them. 
126 


IRON    COUSINS  127 

Frau  Plessen  had  contrived  that  somehow.  I  knew 
that  his  parents  were  elderly  and  did  not  go  out  much. 
I  hoped  they  were  amiable. 

But  as  I  went  to  sleep  it  was  of  Caspar  himself  I 
thought.  I  did  not  look  at  the  future  or  make  pictures 
of  our  life  together  here  in  Hamburg.  I  never  got 
as  near  realities  as  that.  I  thought  about  little  things 
he  had  said  and  done  and  about  his  eyes  and  the  tones 
of  his  voice.  There  could  be  no  mistake  about  those 
and  I  was  wildly,  warmly  happy.  The  September  sun 
shone  into  my  room  next  day  and  I  sang  to  myself 
as  I  dressed.  When  Frau  Bach  brought  in  my  coffee 
she  looked  at  me  sourly  and  then  looked  at  my  roses 
which  were  faded. 

"They  may  go  away,"  I  said. 

"They  should  never  have  come,"  said  she,  and 
stalked  out  of  the  room. 

I  could  not  call  her  back  and  ask  her  what  she 
meant.  Besides  I  knew  what  she  meant.  Someone, 
probably  one  of  her  highly  respectable  lodgers,  had 
heard  Caspar's  voice  in  the  passage  and  in  my  room, 
and  informed  on  me.  It  could  not  be  helped,  but  it 
was  annoying  and  must  not  happen  again.  I  should 
have  to  tell  Caspar  so.  I  began  to  wish  rather  fer- 
vently that  he  would  speak  out  and  regularize  the 
situation.  The  alternative  was  to  part  until  we  met 
at  the  Jungfernstieg  again,  three  weeks  hence.  I  was 
beginning  to  find  out  what  others  have  found  out 
before  me.  A  clandestine  romance  may  begin  in  the 
clouds  but  soon  lands  in  the  gutter.  I  hoped  I  had 
a  soul  above  convention,  but  I  had  not  foreseen  that 
I  might  be  spied  on  by  my  fellow  lodgers  and  rebuked 
by  my  landlady.  It  gives  you  satisfaction  to  know 


128  IRON    COUSINS 

that  your  own  soul  is  one  of  the  largest  size,  but 
trouble  comes  when  the  souls  of  your  neighbors  do 
not  match.  However,  I  supposed  it  would  soon  be 
all  right  and  on  my  way  to  the  station  I  wondered 
whether  Caspar  would  want  me  to  go  back  to  the 
Plessens  this  autumn.  I  had  an  odd  sense  of  unreality 
about  the  future,  although  I  knew  beyond  a  doubt 
that  he  was  very  much  in  love  with  me ;  but  I  thought 
I  should  lose  it — perhaps  that  very  day.  I  did  not 
dwell  on  the  future  more  than  I  could  help ;  but  I  did 
not  turn  my  back  on  it  either.  I  believed  that  I  should 
have  to  make  up  my  mind  immediately  whether  I 
would  spend  the  rest  of  my  life  in  Hamburg  married 
to  a  German;  and  I  had  to  ask  myself  if  the  prospect 
pleased  me.  I  thought  it  did.  But  I  contemplated 
going  to  England  for  a  time,  chiefly  to  explain  Cas- 
par to  Aunt  Susan. 

I  got  to  the  station  first  and  had  to  wait  in  a  large 
dreary  waiting-room  with  a  bar  at  one  end  of  it,  a  bar 
at  which  beer  and  light  refreshments  were  being 
served  to  Sunday  travelers.  There  were  a  great  many 
of  them  and  they  all  looked  extremely  German  to  my 
English  eyes.  They  were  civilians,  belonging  mostly 
to  the  lower  middle  class  and  bore  witness  in  their 
figures  to  the  plenty  and  excellence  of  Hamburg  food. 
Some  of  the  women  were  mountains  of  flesh  and  had 
an  inexplicable  fondness  for  spurious  tartan  blouses 
and  shiny  gray  alpacas.  I  think  all  the  alpaca  in  the 
world  must  go  to  Germany,  for  men,  women  and  chil- 
dren are  clothed  in  it  there.  A  good  many  men  wore 
Panama  hats  and  the  little  boys  had  knickerbocker 
suits  heavily  braided.  Mothers  of  families  carried 
long  green  tin  satchels  full  of  food  and  one  party  near 


IRON   COUSINS  129 

me  had  begun  on  their  supply  already  and  was  devour- 
ing thick  slices  of  gray  bread  spread  with  liver  sau- 
sage. At  the  bar  pert  young  women  were  serving 
mugs  of  foaming  beer  and  having  jokes  with  their  cus- 
tomers, while  at  one  table  four  or  five  officers  sat  to- 
gether, separated  from  the  plebeian  crowd,  their  long 
swords  trailing  from  their  belts,  their  nasal  voices  and 
loud  laughter  dominating  that  part  of  the  room.  The 
only  vacant  seat  I  could  see  was  in  their  neighbor- 
hood, so  I  took  it  and  kept  my  eyes  on  the  door  ex- 
pecting Caspar  to  arrive.  I  could  not  help  knowing 
that  the  officers  were  staring  hard  at  me  and  I  could 
not  help  understanding  some  of  the  things  they  said; 
but  they  did  not  say  anything  I  minded  much.  They 
saw  at  a  glance  that  I  was  English,  were  pleased  to 
approve  of  my  looks  and  accounted  for  my  being  alone 
by  suggesting  that  perhaps  I  was  a  suffragette.  They 
said  those  things  as  if  they  hoped  I  might  reply  to 
them,  but  I  looked  past  their  table  towards  the  door 
and  wished  Caspar  would  come.  Instead  of  him  I 
suddenly  saw  Mr.  Quentin  Hope,  looking  just  as  I 
remembered  him  that  evening  at  the  Crefelds,  more 
than  common  tall,  broad  shouldered,  imperturbable, 
dressed  in  rough  English  tweeds.  I  felt  so  pleased  to 
see  him  that  I  bowed  to  him  before  I  gave  myself 
time  to  think,  and  only  remembered  as  he  came  to- 
wards me  that  I  was  launched  on  an  escapade. 

We  shook  hands  and  he  stood  beside  me  for  a  min- 
ute or  two  talking  as  people  do  on  such  occasions  of 
trifles  that  have  no  relation  to  what  is  really  passing 
in  their  minds.  I  felt  uncomfortable.  At  any  mo- 
ment Caspar  might  appear  and  Mr.  Hope  would  see 
us  meet  and  make  off  together.  He  would  not  tell 


130  IRON   COUSINS 

tales.  You  had  only  to  look  at  him  to  know  that,  if 
you  knew  anything  at  all  about  Englishmen  of  his 
breed.  But  what  would  he  think? 

"I  am  going  to  Griinbeck,"  I  said,  for  the  sake  of 
saying  something. 

"So  am  I,"  said  he.    "Have  you  been  there  before?" 

As  I  answered  that  I  had  not  Caspar  arrived,  came 
swiftly  towards  me  without  realizing  that  Mr.  Hope, 
who  stood  with  his  back  towards  him,  was  there,  and 
said  in  an  intimate,  frisky  way  that  he  had  overslept 
himself  and  nearly  missed  the  train. 

"I  had  such  pleasant  dreams,"  he  went  on.  "We 
were  in  your  room  together  ..." 

He  stopped  in  a  petrified  way,  looked  furiously 
annoyed,  stared  at  Mr.  Hope  and  made  him  a  stiff, 
formal  bow.  Mr.  Hope  returned  it  with  equal  stiff- 
ness and  in  fact  with  unconcealed  dislike,  and  without 
looking  at  me  again  he  turned  away. 

"Most  unfortunate,"  said  Caspar,  who,  I  could  see, 
was  now  thoroughly  out  of  humor. 

I  thought  it  was  too,  but  not  in  the  way  he  meant. 

"The  fellow  will  tell  everyone  he  met  us." 

"He  will  do  nothing  of  the  kind,"  I  said  indig- 
nantly. 

"Did  he  promise?" 

"I  didn't  ask  him." 

There  was  no  time  to  say  more  just  then,  because 
the  doors  of  the  waiting-room  were  thrown  open,  an 
official  bawled  the  naraes  of  the  stations  to  which  the 
next  train  was  going,  and  we  were  hustled  on  to  the 
platform  with  the  excited,  hurrying  crowd.  Every 
compartment  had  more  people  in  it  than  it  was  meant 
to  hold,  every  window  was  shut,  and  as  we  steamed 


IRON   COUSINS  131 

slowly  and  heavily  along  I  wondered,  as  I  had  often 
wondered  before,  why  the  Germans  said  they  did 
everything  better  than  anyone  else  and  why  so  many 
English  people  believed  them.  Under  the  circum- 
stances it  was  impossible  to  talk  to  each  other  till  we 
got  out  of  the  train,  and  when  we  did  we  walked 
some  way  along  a  bare,  dusty  country  road  still  with 
a  throng  of  Sunday  travelers  and  still  influenced  in 
our  mood  by  the  stuffy  discomfort  of  the  journey. 
Ahead  of  us,  we  both  saw  the  towering  figure  of  the 
Englishman,  his  long,  leisurely  stride  taking  him 
swiftly  over  this  arid  mile  of  road. 

"Why  has  he  come  here?  Is  he  alone?"  asked 
Caspar. 

"He  seems  to  be,"  I  said. 

"It  isn't  likely.  Probably  he  has  an  appointment. 
But  he  has  been  clever  enough  not  to  let  us  see  his 
companion.  One  does  not  spend  a  Sunday  at  Grtin- 
beck  alone." 

"If  he  is  hard  at  work  all  the  week  he  probably 
likes  a  long  walk  on  a  Sunday,"  I  suggested. 

We  had  just  come  within  sight  of  a  countrified  look- 
ing inn  with  a  large  garden  at  one  side  in  which  there 
were  tables  and  chairs. 

"I  shall  order  a  table  indoors,"  said  Caspar,  walking 
across  the  road.  "If  possible  we  will  have  a  private 
room.  I  want  no  more  encounters." 

"But  I  have  brought  sandwiches,"  I  cried,  holding 
up  my  package.  It  was  not  a  very  big  one  and  Caspar 
looked  at  it  distrustfully. 

"That!"  he  said  and  laughed.  "We'll  eat  that  now. 
I  have  a  hunger !  also  a  thirst." 

"But  I  said  I  would  not  dine  with  you  at  a  hotel 


132  IRON   COUSINS 

again,"  I  persisted.  "It  was  a  bargain.  You 
promised  ..." 

He  laughed  as  one  laughs  at  a  child — who  argues  in 
favor  of  the  impossible. 

"One  must  eat,"  he  said,  "and  why  eat  badly  when 
we  can  eat  well?  I  will  be  as  romantic  as  you  please 
before  dinner  and  again  after  dinner,  but  I  will  not 
go  without  my  dinner  if  I  can  help  it." 

"But  you  promised "  I  began  again  and  again 

he  laughed  as  one  laughs  at  a  child. 

"I  wanted  you  to  come.  You  have  come.  What 
more  is  there  to  say." 

I  tried  to  frown  and  feel  angry,  but  he  had  more 
or  less  recovered  his  good  humor  and  I  knew  him 
well  enough  to  know  that  he  would  certainly  lose  it 
again  if  he  did  not  have  his  own  way.  After  all  it 
did  not  matter  much  now  that  we  were  here.  If  it 
was  going  to  be  such  a  day  as  he  had  offered  me  and 
I  had  pictured  it  must  be  harmonious  from  beginning 
to  end ;  and  it  had  not  begun  well.  We  had  both  been 
ruffled. 

I  stood  by  a  little  bridge  over  a  narrow  stream 
and  watched  the  village  geese  while  he  went  into  the 
inn.  Most  of  the  Sunday  travelers  had  vanished. 
Village  children,  the  boys  with  cropped  heads  and  the 
girls  with  pig-tails,  stood  a  little  aside  and  stared  at 
me.  I  had  a  sudden  idea  which  at  the  moment  seemed 
a  good  one,  and  I  opened  my  packet  of  sandwiches  in 
their  sight.  They  were  fresh  buttered  rolls  with 
slices  of  sausage  between  and  I  felt  hungry  when  I 
saw  them.  So  I  ate  one  of  them  and  offered  them  to 
Caspar  when  he  reappeared.  He  looked  round  as  if 
to  make  sure  no  one  saw  him,  muttered  something 


IRON   COUSINS  133 

about  a  colossal  hunger  and  finished  two  in  a  twink- 
ling.   What  remained  we  gave  to  the  children. 

"If  we  are  going  to  dine  at  the  inn  we  shall  not 
want  them,"  I  said,  and  he  agreed  that  I  was  right. 
Sandwiches,  he  said,  were  very  well  as  a  snack,  but  not 
as  a  stand-by. 


XVIII 

WE  struck  a  path  across  a  great  heath  and  got 
away  from  the  crowd.  The  heather  was  in 
flower  still  but  beginning  to  fade  a  little  at 
the  tips.  There  was  a  great  deal  of  bilberry  and 
bracken  amongst  it  and  the  growth  was  high,  so  that 
we  were  glad  to  keep  the  path.  It  was  one  of  those 
brilliant  early  autumn  days  when  the  light  is  warm 
and  golden  and  the  near  distance  is  veiled  in  delicate 
haze.  The  larks  rose  as  we  passed  by  and  their  song 
quivered  above  us  rapturously. 

"This  evening  we  shall  hear  the  nightingales,"  said 
Caspar. 

"But  this  evening  we  shall  be  in  Hamburg  again," 
I  reminded  him. 

He  cut  at  some  bracken  tops  with  his  stick  and  I 
could  see  that  he  was  thinking  his  own  thoughts.  For 
that  matter  so  was  I.  I  had  never  seen  him  out  of  a 
city  before  and  it  was  in  a  city  that  he  belonged.  His 
interest  in  the  landscape  was  lukewarm  and  the  night- 
ingales were  to  act  as  orchestra  to  our  duet.  I  was 
bred  in  a  city  too,  but  I  had  more  love  of  the  country 
in  me  than  my  companion.  I  knew  that  by  the  way 
we  looked  about  us. 

We  came  after  a  time  to  a  wooded  stream  on  the 

confines  of  the  heath  and  made  our  way  along  it  over 

moderately    rough    ground.      I    did    not    mind    the 

scramble  but  my  beau  did.     He  had  on  rather  light 

134 


IRON   COUSINS  135 

kid  gloves  and  soiled  them.  He  scratched  his  boots, 
slipped  once  and  stained  his  trousers,  disarranged  his 
immaculate  tie  and  tore  one  of  his  silk  socks. 

"I  told  you  it  was  folly  to  walk  where  there  was 
no  properly  made  path,"  he  growled. 

For  it  was  I  who  had  wished  to  keep  close  to  the 
stream  and  follow  it  a  little  way;  because  I  had  seen 
a  kingfisher  and  would  have  gone  through  anything 
to  see  it  again. 

"A  bird  is  a  bird,"  said  Caspar.  "Why  make  such 
a  fuss  about  it?" 

"We  will  sit  down  here  in  the  shade  and  keep  very 
still,"  I  said.  "Perhaps  it  will  come  again." 

"There  are  no  seats." 

I  found  one  where  we  stood  on  soft  dry  moss  with 
the  trunk  of  a  tree  to  lean  against;  but  at  first  he 
would  not  sit  there  with  me. 

"We  shall  both  get  rheumatism,"  he  prophesied. 
"To  sit  on  damp  earth  is  dangerous." 

I  laughed  at  him  and  he  did  not  like  that.  "It  is 
true,"  he  insisted.  "To  laugh  at  what  is  true  is  not 
intelligent." 

So  he  stood  against  the  trunk  of  an  oak  tree  with 
one  arm  over  a  low  growing  branch  and  looked  at  me. 

I  am  now  about  to  describe  a  love  scene,  so  if  love 
scenes  of  an  inferior  quality  bore  you,  as  they  do  me, 
you  must  skip  a  few  pages  and  go  on  to  what  hap- 
pened next.  I  consider  love  scenes  tedious  unless  they 
are  sustained  by  passion  and  poetry  or  enlivened  by 
humor,  and  I  fear  that  the  little  one  on  the  Griinbeck 
heath  was  wanting  in  every  quality  that  should  have 
made  it  impressive.  But  it  is  engraven  in  my  memory 
as  an  amazing  prologue  to  the  act  that  followed  on  its 
heels. 


136  IRON   COUSINS 

"To-day  you  look  rcisend  .  .  .  reisend,"  he  began. 
"I  cannot  take  my  eyes  off  you." 

"Then  you  will  probably  miss  the  kingfisher/'  I  said, 
keeping  my  eyes  firmly  fixed  on  the  stream. 

"Why  don't  you  look  at  me?  Am  I  less  to  you 
than  a  bird  who  is  not  even  there?" 

"He  may  come  ...  at  any  moment." 

"If  he  comes  he  will  fly  away  again.  I  am  here, 
waiting  for  you  to  look  as  deeply  into  my  eyes  as  I 
have  long  since  looked  into  yours." 

I  knew  the  German  idiom.  He  meant  that  he  had 
fallen  in  love  with  me  and  wanted  me  to  be  in  love 
with  him.  Well,  I  was ;  but  the  moment  had  not  come 
to  tell  him  so;  therefore  I  continued  to  sit  still  and 
look  out  for  the  kingfisher. 

"Child,"  he  began  again,  "beautiful  child !" 

It  didn't  sound  so  silly  in  German  as  it  does  in 
English;  and  he  spoke  German  that  day.  But  he 
stopped  short  after  he  had  called  me  a  beautiful  child 
and  when  he  spoke  again  he  spoke  impatiently. 

"Have  you  nothing  to  say  to  me?"  he  asked,  and 
before  I  could  answer  him  he  was  beside  me  on  the 
moss  and  had  my  hands  in  his. 

"What  about  rheumatism?"  I  said. 

I  don't  think  he  heard.  He  was  pale  with  excite- 
ment and  before  I  could  stop  him  he  had  kissed  me. 
I  didn't  like  it.  The  love  scene  was  going  wrong.  My 
head  ought  to  have  rested  contentedly  on  his  shoulder 
and  tears  of  happiness  ought  to  have  welled  from  my 
eyes.  But  something  was  wanting.  I  hardly  under- 
stood what  myself.  I  wrenched  my  hands  away  and 
waited  for  what  he  would  say  next. 


IRON   COUSINS  137 

"You  must  know,"  he  stammered;  "you  must  un- 
derstand ..." 

"What  do  you  want  me  to  say?"  I  asked  him. 

"Can  I  speak  more  plainly?"  he  asked  me. 

I  thought  he  could,  but  it  was  not  my  business  to 
say  so.  Besides,  the  difference  of  nationality  counted 
for  something.  I  knew  a  little  by  this  time  of  what 
happened  when  Germans  became  formally  engaged, 
but  I  did  not  know  much  about  what  went  before. 
However,  he  made  some  things  plain  during  the  next 
few  minutes.  He  had  fought  hard  against  it,  he  said, 
because  he  had  met  me  in  his  uncle's  house.  He  knew 
that  we  should  both  be  blamed.  But  he  was  past  con- 
sidering that  and  he  hoped  I  was  too.  Love  burst  all 
bounds  when  it  was  strong  enough. 

"But  will  there  be  great  difficulties?"  I  said.  "Will 
your  father  and  mother  object?" 

He  gave  me  an  odd  troubled  glance  and  did  not 
answer. 

"You  are  such  a  child,"  he  said  presently.  "But 
you  do  love  me,"  he  went  on,  getting  hold  of  my 
hands  again.  "You  know  what  it  means  to  have  come 
here  with  me  to-day  .  .  .  and  to  have  been  with  me 
yesterday  ..." 

I  did  not  speak,  but  he  did  not  seem  to  mind  that 
as  long  as  he  could  keep  my  hands  in  his  and  occasion- 
ally .  .  .  well,  I  told  you  it  was  to  be  a  love  scene 
and  I  cannot  deny  that  we  both  acted  our  parts.  But 
I  could  not  shake  off  my  vague  sense  of  uneasiness. 
If  he  loved  me  and  wanted  to  marry  me  why  did  he 
not  say  so;  if  he  loved  me  and  could  not  or  would 
not  marry  why  had  he  said  anything  at  all?  I  had 
elemental  and  insufficient  ideas  of  some  things  in  those 


138  IRON   COUSINS 

days.  I  knew  there  were  girls  men  married  and  far 
away  in  an  unknown  world  girls  called  "bad"  who  had 
relations  with  men  they  did  not  marry.  I  even  gath- 
ered from  what  I  had  read  and  heard  that  amongst 
girls  of  that  kind  there  were  differences;  these  being 
the  victims  of  a  love  affair,  like  Effie  Deans  or  Mrs. 
Gaskell's  Ruth;  and  those  being  much  painted  and 
powdered,  wearing  fine  tawdry  clothes  and  walking 
past  one  in  the  dusk  of  a  winter  afternoon  in  Regent 
Street  or  Piccadilly.  I  thought  I  knew  a  great  deal; 
all  a  woman  of  my  world  need  know  of  that  other 
underworld  in  which  men  find  pleasure  and  women 
ease  and  tragedy.  That  I  should  be  invited  to  touch 
the  fringe  of  it  had  not  crossed  my  mind.  I  believe 
I  told  you  at  the  beginning  that  you  would  get  out 
of  patience  with  me  for  a  little  fool.  At  least  you 
will  if  you  have  no  understanding  of  girls  brought  up 
in  old  lavender  as  I  had  been,  their  limitations  and  the 
armor  of  their  ignorance. 

"Stay  here  with  me,"  he  murmured.  "Don't  go 
back  to  Hamburg.  I  will  go  in  for  a  few  hours  every 
day  and  come  back  here  to  you,  my  little  sweetheart." 

I  shook  my  head. 

"No,"  I  said,  "that  won't  do  and  you  know  it." 

He  grew  impatient.  He  said  he  could  not  under- 
stand me.  He  called  me  cold  and  prudish.  He  did 
his  best  to  persuade  me  and  I  could  see  that  he  had 
set  his  heart  on  my  doing  as  he  wished.  While  he 
argued  he  held  me  in  his  arms  hoping,  I  suppose,  that 
his  ardor  would  overwhelm  my  defences  and  that  I 
should  give  in.  But  I  did  not  lose  my  head  to  that 
extent  even  when  he  told  me  that  I  was  breaking  his 
heart 


IRON   COUSINS  139 

"But  after  all  ...  one  must  to  some  extent  .  .  . 
think  of  appearances."  I  put  it  to  him. 

He  went  off  at  a  tangent  again,  said  I  was  playing 
with  him  as  a  cat  plays  with  a  mouse  and  asked  me 
if  I  thought  Gretchen  would  have  spoken  so  to  Faust 
or  Isolde  to  Tristram. 

"They  were  tragedies,"  I  said.    "You  and  I  .  .  ." 

"Well !  You  and  I !  A  young  man  and  a  young 
woman  .  .  .  deeply  in  love  with  each  other  ..." 

"But  everyday  people.  Besides  I  want  to  be  happy 
and  ordinary." 

"I  will  make  you  happy  if  you  will  trust  yourself 
to  me.  I  will  give  you  everything  you  want.  I  could 
get  away  for  weeks  very  soon.  We  would  go  to  Italy 
together." 

I  really  did  not  know  what  to  make  of  it.  Was  he 
proposing  to  me  and  sketching  out  a  honeymoon?  I 
dare  say  I  looked  as  uncertain  as  I  felt,  for  he  sud- 
denly called  me  an  adorable  child  and  snatched  me  to 
him  again.  It  was  an  agitating  hour. 

"You  will  come,"  he  cried  overjoyed. 

"To  Italy!    I  should  think  I  would,"  I  said. 

"I  could  not  go  for  a  fortnight." 

"I  could  not  go  so  soon." 

"Why  not?  You  would  write  to  my  aunt.  She 
would  think  you  had  gone  back  to  England." 

I  stared  at  him  and  his  eyes  first  met  mine  boldly 
and  then  turned  uneasily  away. 

"My  mother  made  a  runaway  marriage,"  I  said. 

"There  is  nothing  a  man  values  and  admires  so 
much  in  a  woman  as  hingebende  Liebe"  he  replied. 
"Love  is  surrender." 

"After  all  we  needn't  settle  everything  to-day,"  said 


140  IRON   COUSINS 

I.  "The  first  thing  I  must  do  is  to  write  to  Aunt 
Susan  and  I  suppose  you  had  better  write  too." 

"I!    Why  should  I  write  to  your  Aunt  Susan?" 

"To  tell  her." 

"Tell  her  what?" 

"Well  what  you've  been  telling  me  ever  since  we 
got  there.  Not  in  the  same  words  of  course.  But 
if  we  are  going  to  Italy  together  she  must  know  about 
it." 

"What  is  she  like,  your  Aunt  Susan?  Does  she 
take  broad  views  of  life?  Would  she  let  you  go? 
What  experience  has  she  had  herself?" 

I  tried  to  explain  Aunt  Susan  to  him  but  I  did  not 
succeed  very  well. 

"When  we  are  in  Italy  we  can  write  to  her,"  he  said. 
"We  will  not  let  anyone  know  beforehand  what  we 
mean  to  do." 

I  was  just  going  to  tell  him  that  if  he  wanted  to 
go  in  that  secret  way  he  would  have  to  go  by  himself, 
when  we  heard  someone  coming  straight  towards  us 
through  the  trees,  and  before  we  had  time  to  tidy  and 
compose  ourselves  as  completely  as  we  wished  Mr. 
Hope  appeared,  saw  us,  lifted  his  hat  to  me  and  went 
by.  I  wondered  how  much  he  had  seen  in  that  mo- 
ment, and  whether  my  face  gave  me  away  as  plainly 
as  Caspar's  start  away  from  me,  his  ruffled  hair  and 
the  angle  of  his  hat  betrayed  him. 

"That  man  again,"  he  said  in  a  vexed  undertone. 
"What  bad  luck!" 

"You  see  the  world  is  always  with  us,"  I  moralized. 
"One  can't  be  too  careful.  This  is  my  last  escapade." 


XIX 

WHEN  Mr.  Hope  had  passed  us  Caspar  looked 
at  his  watch  and  found  that  it  was  high 
time  to  get  back  to  the  hotel.  Otherwise 
we  should  only  get  the  remains  of  a  meal  while  more 
punctual  people  would  have  consumed  the  best  of  it. 

"If  we  had  not  given  away  our  sandwiches  we 
might  have  stayed  here  and  eaten  them,"  I  said  re- 
gretfully. 

"Sandwiches  are  no  meal,"  said  Caspar.  "I  have 
hunger." 

I  had  not.  The  sandwiches  I  ate  on  the  bridge 
would  have  lasted  me  till  the  afternoon  when  I  should 
have  been  content  with  a  cup  of  tea,  and  I  disliked 
the  idea  of  going  to  that  hotel  with  Caspar  now  that 
I  knew  Mr.  Hope  would  probably  be  there  too. 

"I  think  I'll  wait  nere  for  you,"  I  said.  "I'm  not 
hungry." 

He  would  not  hear  of  it.  He  said  he  would  not 
enjoy  his  meal  without  me  and  that  it  was  childish  to 
play  tricks  with  one's  digestion  and  that  he  had 
ordered  a  bottle  of  champagne  to  be  put  in  ice  for 
us.  He  had  great  faith  in  champagne  and  its  effect 
on  the  temperament.  After  it  he  hoped  that  I  should 
see  eye  to  eye  with  him  and  be  ready  to  drink  deep 
of  life  and  love. 

"If  you  always  refuse  your  chances  what  lies  before 
141 


142  IRON   COUSINS 

you?"  he  asked.  "Will  you  tend  children  till  you 
are  old  and  gray?  What  outlook  have  you?" 

I  had  never  given  a  thought  to  the  future,  and  I 
had  no  idea  what  my  circumstances  would  be  after 
Aunt  Susan  died.  As  long  as  she  lived  I  knew  I  could 
have  a  home  with  her,  but  she  had  never  told  me 
whether  she  had  money  to  leave  and  whether  it  would 
be  left  to  me.  I  realized  my  ignorance  that  day  at 
Griinbeck.  But  I  said  nothing  about  it  to  Caspar.  He 
had  offered  me  his  arm  along  the  narrow  winding 
path  beside  the  river  and  we  walked  together  slowly 
as  lovers  do,  glad  to  be  close  together  and  paying 
less  heed  to  what  we  talked  about  than  to  the  happy 
chances  of  the  hour,  the  sunshine,  the  plashing  of 
the  river  against  the  steep  sedgy  banks  and  in  places 
the  thicket  of  overhanging  trees  through  which  we 
had  to  push  our  way.  At  least  I  enjoyed  all  that,  but 
he  said  he  would  be  glad  when  we  were  on  the  broad 
path  across  the  heath  again  and  that  though  he  was 
as  good  a  walker  as  any  man  he  hated  a  scramble. 

"I  should  like  to  live  in  the  country,"  I  said. 

"Then  why  do  you  refuse  to  stop  here  now?"  he 
asked. 

I  did  not  try  to  answer  him.  It  would  have  been 
going  over  che  old  ground  and  we  should  have  arrived 
at  the  same  point.  I  was  not  accountable  to  anyone 
while  the  Plessens  were  away,  but  I  thought  I  would 
stay  where  they  expected  me  to  be;  in  my  attic  with 
my  cross  old  landlady  who  disapproved  of  my  roses. 
If  happiness  was  on  its  way  to  me  it  could  find  me 
there  as  well  as  anywhere  else. 

"I  believe  you  have  an  obstinate  disposition,"  said 
Caspar. 


IRON   COUSINS  143 

"I  don't  think  I  understand  you,"  I  said,  and  moved 
from  him  a  little  so  as  to  face  him  more  easily. 

"But  I  am  madly  in  love  with  you  .  .  .  quite 
madly,"  he  said.  "If  you  would  only  give  me  some 
hope." 

I  remember  that,  standing  there  beside  that  little 
river,  I  flushed  and  smiled;  and  because  it  did  seem 
at  that  moment  as  if  I  had  been  impatient  and  that 
he  was  waiting  on  some  word  from  me. 

"Surely  I've  said  enough.  I've  come  here  to-day. 
I've  listened  to  you." 

I  hardly  know  what  he  answered  and  it  does  not 
matter.  We  walked  slowly  back  to  the  hotel,  both 
feeling  rather  ecstatic  but  both,  I  know  now,  inwardly 
uncertain  and  disturbed.  At  the  door  of  the  hotel  we 
parted  because  before  sitting  down  to  table  we  wanted 
a  brush  up  and  I  was  shown  upstairs  into  one  of  those 
large  rather  bare  but  well-kept  bedrooms  you  find  any- 
where in  Germany.  When  I  looked  at  myself  in  the 
glass  I  had  a  shock.  I  had  not  dreamed  that  my  face 
could  tell  such  tales  without  my  knowing  it.  There  may 
be  cold,  impassive  English  women  but  evidently  I  was 
not  one  of  them.  I  had  not  known  that  my  eyes  could 
look  so  large  and  bright  and  my  cheeks  so  flushed. 
Also,  my  hair  was  untidy  and  my  white  frock  rather 
crumpled.  I  did  not  approve  of  myself  at  all  and  I 
was  vexed  to  think  that  when  Mr.  Hope  passed  us  by 
he  saw  two  people  obviously  a  prey  to  violent  emo- 
tions. To  him  at  any  rate  we  had  given  ourselves 
away. 

I  was  so  anxious  to  look  cool  and  tidy  when  I  went 
downstairs  again  that  I  spent  some  time  in  the  bed- 
room. There  was  no  one  in  the  hall  at  first  when  I 


144  IRON   COUSINS 

arrived  there,  and  I  waited  a  moment  for  Caspar  to 
appear.  I  thought  it  would  be  pleasanter  to  go  into 
the  Speisesaal  in  his  company  than  alone.  I  could  hear 
a  great  clatter  on  the  other  side  of  its  doors  and 
guessed  at  a  crowd  of  people  dining  there.  An  elderly 
man  whom  I  took  to  be  the  host  came  through  once 
or  twice  with  bottles  of  wine  but  he  was  too  busy 
to  stop  and  speak  to  me.  I  had  just  made  up  my  mind 
to  go  in  by  myself  and  look  for  Caspar  when  the  door 
opened  and  Mr.  Hope  came  into  the  hall.  He  shook 
hands  with  me  at  once  and  asked  me  if  I  was  staying 
in  the  hotel. 

"No,"  I  told  him,  "I've  only  come  for  the  day." 

I  did  not  like  to  tell  him  I  had  come  with  Herr 
Heiling.  Besides  he  must  have  known  it. 

"I'm  just  going  in  to  lunch,"  I  said. 

"I've  had  mine.  They  give  you  a  very  good  lunch 
here.  Are  you  still  with  the  Plessens?" 

"Yes.  At  least  now  Frau  Plessen  is  away  .  .  . 
but  she  is  coming  back  soon." 

He  waited  a  moment  before  he  spoke  again  and  I, 
thinking  we  had  said  all  there  was  to  say  made  a 
move  to  the  door.  But  Mr.  Hope  detained  me  with 
a  question  as  surprising  as  it  was  upsetting. 

"Did  you  come  here  to-day  with  Herr  Plessen?" 
he  asked. 

I  looked  up  at  him  to  discover  his  meaning  and  I 
was  astonished  to  see  how  serious  his  face  was. 

"He  is  in  there  with  the  Heilings,"  he  said. 

"The  Heilings!" 

"His  relations  .  .  .  the  people  who  live  on  the 
Uhlenhord.  The  young  man  is  their  son." 

I  looked  down  at  the  floor  meditatively  and  won- 


IRON    COUSINS  145 

dered  what  I  had  better  do.  Should  I  walk  boldly 
in  and  approach  Herr  Plessen  ?  Was  Caspar  in  there  ? 
Where  was  he  and  what  would  he  do? 

"For  you,  Fraiilein,"  said  a  waiter  at  my  elbow, 
and  handed  me  an  envelope  on  which  my  name  was 
written  in  Caspar's  hand.  I  took  it  and  the  man  went 
back  into  the  Spcisesaal.  I  opened  it  and  read  what 
was  inside. 

"Leave  the  hotel  at  once  and  return  to  Hamburg  by  the  next 
train.  You  must  not  be  seen.  My  parents  and  uncle  are  here. 
I  will  come  to  the  Melkstrasse  to-night  and  explain.  Ver- 
dammtes  Ungliick.  Thy  Caspar." 

Inside  the  letter  was  a  ten-mark  note  which  was 
presumably  meant  for  my  return  fare.  It  fluttered 
to  the  ground  and  my  cheeks  grew  hot  as  Mr.  Hope 
picked  it  up  and  gave  it  back  to  me.  I  was  so  angry 
that  I  did  not  know  what  to  say  or  what  to  do.  I 
should  think  a  man  who  is  struck  in  public  must  feel 
much  as  I  did  when  I  read  that  letter  while  Mr.  Hope 
stood  there  and  watched  me.  My  mind  was  far  from 
clear.  Should  I  allow  myself  to  be  ignominiously 
bundled  home  at  Caspar's  expense  or  should  I  brave 
him,  walk  into  the  Spcisesaal,  speak  to  Herr  Plessen, 
order  lunch  and  sit  down  by  myself  to  eat  it?  I  was 
in  a  dilemma  and  I  had  myself  to  blame. 

"Is  anything  wrong?"  said  Mr.  Hope.  "Can  I  help 
you?" 

I  made  up  my  mind  suddenly. 

"When  is  there  a  train  back  to  Hamburg?"  I  asked. 

"There  is  just  time  to  catch  one,"  he  said,  looking 
at  his  watch.  "I  am  going  by  it." 

"So  am  I,"  I  said,  and  walked  out  of  the  hotel  with 
him. 


146  IRON   COUSINS 

He  asked  no  questions.  He  showed  no  surprise. 
When  we  got  to  the  station  he  took  my  ticket  with 
his  own  and  when  the  train  came  up  he  found  an 
empty  compartment  and  we  traveled  in  it  together.  But 
my  thoughts  were  on  fire  and  the  very  kindness  of 
his  manner  helped  to  trouble  me.  At  first  I  tried  to 
talk  indifferently,  but  I  was  not  mistress  of  myself 
enough  yet  to  do  that  well. 

"I  think  I  shall  go  straight  back  to  England,"  I  said 
suddenly. 

"I  would  if  I  were  you,"  he  said. 

I  liked  him  better  than  ever  as  I  sat  there  opposite 
him,  eating  my  heart  out  in  loneliness  and  wishing 
he  was  an  old  friend  instead  of  a  new  one.  He  was 
England  at  that  hour  when  I  wanted  England,  wanted 
her  ways  that  were  my  ways,  her  speech  that  I  un- 
derstood, her  honor  that  was  my  own.  But  had  I  done 
her  credit?  What  was  England  thinking  of  me  behind 
that  steady  manner  and  those  quiet  eyes. 

"Have  you  a  home  waiting  for  you  ?"  he  asked  me. 

I  told  him  that  I  had  but  that  I  had  promised  the 
Plessens  to  stay  with  them  a  year  and  wanted  to  keep 
my  promise  if  I  could. 

"When  will  the  year  be  up?" 

"Not  till  next  May.  I've  only  been  in  Germany 
four  months." 

He  did  not  repeat  his  advice  or  say  a  further  word 
that  could  encourage  me  to  confide  in  him;  and  I 
should  have  been  ashamed  to  do  so.  My  intimate 
personal  griefs  were  not  his  concern  and  he  could  not 
help  them.  I  hardly  understood  then  how  much  he 
did  help  by  being  himself  and  taking  me  back  to  Eng- 
land where  by  right  of  birth  and  breeding  I  belonged. 


IRON   COUSINS  147 

"Sometimes  I  get  homesick,"  I  admitted. 

"So  do  I,"  he  said.    "I'm  going  back  next  year." 

I  stared  out  of  the  window  and  battled  with  myself 
for  self-control.  I  hardly  know  how  to  describe  my 
condition  to  you  because  it  was  so  vehement  and  so 
confused.  I  was  angry,  hurt,  disappointed,  enlight- 
ened, miserable.  I  had  been  treated  insolently  and  the 
sting  lay  in  the  thought  that  I  had  myself  to  blame. 
I  was  too  furious  for  sorrow,  too  much  offended  for 
heartache.  When  I  thought  of  the  morning  I  raged, 
and  when  I  pictured  the  morrow  I  believed  that  I 
should  know  what  to  do  and  say.  At  the  moment  I 
hardly  knew  whether  I  wanted  to  laugh  or  cry,  and 
to  my  intense  humiliation  in  the  midst  of  a  profound 
silence  I  began  to  do  both.  At  first  Mr.  Hope  looked 
discreetly  out  of  the  window  and  said  nothing.  In 
fact,  I  spoke  first  and  tried  to  apologize. 

"I'm  rather  run  down,"  I  explained.  "I  must  get 
some  quinine  to-morrow." 

"I  should  go  to  England  to-morrow  if  I  were  you," 
he  said  unexpectedly. 

I  was  so  surprised  by  the  decision  with  which  he 
spoke  that  I  stopped  crying  and  looked  at  him. 

"You  are  not  old  enough  or  ...  experienced 
enough  to  be  knocking  about  Hamburg  without  any- 
one to  look  after  you,"  he  went  on.  "I  hate  to  see  it." 

"I'm  nearly  twenty-one.  I  ought  to  be  old  enough 
to  take  care  of  myself." 

"Promise  me  that  you  will  go  straight  home,"  he 
said. 

"But  there  is  no  need.  I  assure  you  that  I  can  take 
care  of  myself." 

"A  moment  ago  you  talked  of  going." 


I48  IRON   COUSINS 

"I  always  think  of  it  as  a  bolt  hole.  But  I  won't 
bolt.  I'll  stay." 

"I'd  write  to  your  father  if  I  knew  his  address," 
he  said  almost  angrily. 

"What  would  you  say?" 

His  look  was  so  direct  and  so  explanatory  that  there 
was  no  need  to  speak.  My  own  eyes  sank  before  it. 

"You  don't  understand,"  I  said. 

He  did  not  argue.  He  did  not  scold  or  persuade. 
But  I  thought  he  judged  me  and  condemned.  I  felt 
so  sure  of  this  that  I  wanted  to  defend  myself.  The 
difficulty  was  to  know  how. 


XX 


'O  be  in  a  foreign  country  is  like  being  on  a 
desert  island,"  I  began  sententiously.  "One 
is  lonely." 

"I  have  not  observed  it  in  your  case,"  he  said  dryly. 

That  checked  me. 

"I  have  been  living  alone  for  more  than  three 
weeks,"  I  said.  "Perhaps  you  have  never  tried  that." 

"I  always  live  alone.    I  prefer  it." 

"But  you  have  friends." 

"I  had  no  friends  when  I  first  came  to  Hamburg 
two  years  ago." 

"What  did  you  do?" 

"I  worked." 

"I  work.  I've  been  working  hard  at  German.  But 
one  wants  to  play,  too.  Besides  it  gets  on  one's  nerves. 
I  did  not  think  it  would  beforehand.  But  now  I 
know." 

"What  got  on  your  nerves  ?" 

"I'm  telling  you.  The  loneliness.  I've  been  as 
lonely  as  the  man  in  the  lighthouse  who  saw  the  sea 
in  streaks  and  disturbed  the  traffic.  I  began  to  get 
afraid." 

"I  wish  I'd  known,"  he  said. 

"I  only  have  another  three  weeks  of  it,"  I  told  him. 
"I  can  stand  that." 

"Sure?" 

"Quite  sure." 

149 


150  IRON   COUSINS 

He  did  not  look  satisfied  and  he  certainly  did  not 
look  indifferent,  but  I  could  not  add  anything  to  what 
I  had  told  him.  After  all  we  were  strangers. 

"I  am  going  to  England  in  a  few  days,"  he  said, 
"and  then  I  am  going  to  India  for  six  months.  I 
expect  to  be  back  in  Hamburg  in  May  or  June." 

That  is  all  that  passed  between  us,  at  least  all  that 
can  be  written  down.  What  happened  to  me  in  this 
second  encounter  with  Mr.  Hope  has  happened  over 
and  over  again  to  men  and  women.  How  can  I  say 
it?  I  was  in  love  with  Caspar.  There  is  no  denying 
that.  I  was  smarting  with  the  indignity  he  had  put 
on  me.  And  at  the  very  height  of  the  angry  memory 
and  humiliation  that  consumed  me  chance  threw  me 
into  the  company  of  a  man  whose  boots  the  German 
was  not  good  enough  to  black.  He  was  not  for  me, 
but  I  could  take  his  measure.  I  thought  of  stories 
where  a  girl  of  the  working  class  loves  a  gentleman, 
but  marries  one  of  her  own  kind.  There  was  no 
difference  of  class  between  Mr.  Hope  and  me,  but  he 
had  age,  sex  and  circumstances  in  his  favor;  and 
character.  I  knew  he  must  think  badly  of  me  and  I 
wished  him  to  think  well.  But  the  probability  was 
that  we  should  never  meet  again. 

Our  ways  parted  when  we  left  the  train,  and  he 
bid  me  good-by  with  impassive  politeness.  I  watched 
him  get  into  a  taxi  while  I  waited  for  my  tram  to 
start.  He  had  seen  me  into  it  before  he  went  himself, 
and  two  young  women  opposite  me  had  stared  at  him 
and  at  me  curiously. 

"A  giant,"  said  one  watching  him  depart.  "Such 
an  English  giant." 

"I  like  them  not,"  said  the  other  gloomily.    "I  like 


IRON   COUSINS  151 

not  men  who  remind  me  of  pine  trees.  One  could 
not  become  attached  to  a  pine  tree." 

The  other  sighed. 

"But  this  one  was  handsome,  Marikka,"  she  said. 
"That  one  must  love  him.  He  was  handsome." 

"So  is  a  pine  tree,"  said  the  other.  "But  I  do  not 
wish  to  put  my  arms  around  one.  There  was  no  ex- 
pression in  his  face  when  he  bid  his  sweetheart 
good-by." 

"How  do  you  know  that  she  is  his  sweetheart?" 
whispered  the  other  with  a  stealthy  glance  at  me. 

"By  her  eyes  as  she  looked  after  him,"  said  the  other, 
and  took  my  breath  away. 

I  certainly  had  been  sorry  to  see  my  countryman 
go,  but  I  had  not  thought  I  showed  it  plainly.  When 
I  reached  home  the  first  thing  I  did  was  to  put  a  ten- 
mark  note  in  an  envelope,  address  it  to  Herr  Caspar 
Heiling  and  post  it.  Then  I  found  Frau  Bach  in  her 
lair  and  told  her  that  I  was  tired  and  would  not  see 
anyone  who  called  that  evening. 

"Who  should  call  ?"  she  asked  suspiciously. 

"Only  one  might,"  I  pointed  out. 

"The  Fraulein  told  me  a  week  ago  that  she  had 
not  a  friend  in  Hamburg.  When  one  has  no  friends 
one  has  no  callers.  That  is  what  I  said  to  myself 
when  I  saw  the  roses  which  must  have  cost  ten  marks 
at  least.  I  said  to  myself  the  Fraulein  is  highly  re- 
spectable and  a  teacher  and  she  has  no  friends  in 
Hamburg.  Why  then  does  she  receive  expensive 
flowers  and  go  out  at  night  and  be  away  the  whole 
of  Sunday  in  a  dress  of  white  lace  .  .  ." 

"Muslin,"  I  interrupted,  "embroidered  muslin." 

"Lace !"  persisted  the  old  woman  who  had  followed 


152  IRON   COUSINS 

me  back  into  my  room  and  now  stood  on  the  threshold, 
a  lean  denunciatory  figure,  pointing  one  skinny  hand 
at  me  and  raising  her  voice  shrilly  as  she  continued 
her  expostulations.  "Lace !  which  this  morning  was 
fresh  from  the  wash  and  now  is  crumpled  and  stained 
with  earth.  Where  has  the  Fraiilein  been  all  day 
then?  A  respectable  Fraulein  who  goes  for  a  walk 
by  herself  and  comes  back  to  her  room  I  understand, 
but  such  an  appearance  as  the  Fraulein  now  presents 
gives  me  thoughts  and  thoughts  are  what  my  nerves 
cannot  endure  about  any  of  my  inmates.  I  told  the 
Herr  Lehrer  I  did  not  let  to  ladies  because  with  ladies 
one  never  knows.  They  may  look  like  doves  and  con- 
duct themselves  like  serpents.  But  Marie  assured  me 
that  the  Fraulein  was  one  of  the  quiet  kind." 

"So  I  am,"  I  said.  "When  have  you  known  me 
to  make  a  noise?" 

"One  may  be  as  quiet  as  a  mouse  and  yet  behave 
like  a  serpent,"  muttered  the  old  woman,  and  assisted 
by  my  gesture  of  dismissal  she  hobbled  out  of  the 
room.  But  she  returned  a  little  later  with  a  tray  and 
tea  things. 

"I  am  going  out,"  she  said.  "A  poor  woman  who 
works  as  hard  as  I  do  all  the  week  expects  a  little 
rest  on  Sundays.  If  anyone  comes  you  must  open 
the  door  yourself.  For  what  happens  when  I  am  away 
I  cannot  be  responsible." 

"I  shall  not  open  the  door,"  I  said.  "Anyone  who 
comes  must  go  away  again." 

I  spoke  austerely.  If  it  had  been  worth  while  I 
should  have  given  her  notice  and  found  myself  other 
quarters,  but  it  was  not.  In  most  German  cities  fur- 
nished rooms  are  taken  by  the  month  and  paid  before- 


IRON   COUSINS  153 

hand.  I  had  settled  with  Frau  Bach  for  mine  and 
had  it  till  Frau  Plessen  came  back. 

I  was  very  short  of  money.  Aunt  Susan  had  not 
sent  me  any  since  I  left  and  I  did  not  want  to  come 
on  her  if  I  could  help  it.  The  ten-mark  note  I  had 
just  posted  to  Herr  Heiling  was  a  serious  outlay,  and 
I  could  not  have  left  these  rooms  in  a  hurry  and  gone 
to  others  without  borrowing  money.  I  should  have 
had  to  approach  Herr  Plessen  to  do  that  and  explain 
why  I  wanted  it.  That  I  shrank  from  and  in  a  mazed 
state  of  mind  I  brewed  my  tea  with  a  spirit  lamp 
and  wondered  how  I  had  managed  to  get  myself  into 
such  a  quandary.  That  morning  my  outlook  on  life 
had  been  golden;  to-night  it  was  gloomy.  At  break- 
fast I  had  thought  of  my  little  adventures  with  amuse- 
ment and  longed  for  the  day  that  was  to  bring  them 
to  a  climax.  To-night  my  dreams  seemed  as  silly  as 
Alnaschar's,  and  the  scene  by  the  river  one  that  rode 
my  memory  with  shame.  Never  again,  I  vowed,  and 
I  knew  that  I  could  trust  myself.  Yet,  an  hour  later 
when  I  heard  the  expected  ring  at  the  door  my  heart 
beat  violently.  He  had  kept  his  word  and  come. 

But  I  was  determined  not  to  let  him  in.  I  heard 
him  ring  twice  and  thrice  and  did  not  stir  from  my 
seat  by  the  window.  I  did  not  stir  when  I  heard 
someone  go  to  the  door,  a  short  low-toned  colloquy 
and  then  my  own  door  opened  widely.  I  did  not  stir 
when  I  looked  up  and  saw  Caspar  across  the  threshold 
with  the  school-teacher  looking  over  his  shoulder  at 
me  from  behind.  Then  my  door  shut  and  we  were 
together  in  the  sunset  lights  that  streamed  radiantly 
through  the  window.  He  waited  a  moment  and  looked 
at  me.  Then  with  an  air  of  assurance  that  was  not 


154  IRON   COUSINS 

quite  borne  out  by  the  anxiety  in  his  eyes  he  drew 
the  nearest  chair  close  to  mine,  sat  down  and  tried 
to  seize  one  of  my  hands.  But  I  had  had  enough  of 
that. 

"You  are  angry  with  me,"  he  said. 

"I  am  so  angry  that  I  cannot  talk  about  it.  I  have 
only  one  thing  to  say.  Be  good  enough  to  go  and  not 
to  come  back.  I  will  not  have  you  calling  here." 

"But  where  can  we  meet?" 

"We  shall  meet  every  day  before  long  at  your 
uncle's  house." 

"What  is  the  good  of  that?  Besides  I  cannot  wait. 
Long  before  my  aunt  comes  back  we  shall  have  made 
up  our  minds.  The  present  situation  is  impossible." 

"Quite  impossible.  Therefore  I  end  it.  Good- 
night !" 

I  got  up  and  found  to  my  vexation  that  I  was 
trembling  rather  violently.  I  hoped  he  did  not  see 
it  and  that  I  did  not  look  as  undignified  as  I  felt. 
He  seemed  a  good  deal  disturbed  himself  and  made 
those  inarticulate  sounds  of  surprise  and  impatience 
that  convey  so  much  and  are  so  difficult  to  answer. 

"What  could  I  do?"  he  began.  "What  would  you 
have  had  me  do?  Confess  to  my  parents  and  my 
uncle  that  we  were  spending  the  day  together  at 
Griinbeck?  Appear  before  them  in  your  company!" 

"I  admit  that  I  ought  not  to  have  gone,"  I  said 
stiffly.  "I  blame  myself  more  than  you.  In  fact,  I 
do  not  blame  you  at  all.  No  doubt  you  acted  accord- 
ing to  your  lights." 

"What  do  you  mean?  You  stand  there  looking  as 
proud  as  Lucifer.  You  know  I'm  crazy  for  you.  You 
know  I  want  you." 


IRON   COUSINS  155 

He  took  a  step  towards  me  and  I  saw  that  he  really 
was  in  a  crazy  mood  which  somehow  or  other  I  had 
better  quell.  I  pointed  to  the  communicating  door 
between  my  room  and  the  next. 

"I  wish  you  would  take  care  what  you  say  and 
speak  in  a  lower  voice,"  I  said.  "Probably  the  man 
who  let  you  in  is  at  the  key-hole." 

He  swore  under  his  breath  and  glowered  at  me. 

"Come  away  from  this  garret  then,"  he  muttered. 
"Come  and  dine  somewhere  and  after  dinner  .  .  ." 

I  shook  my  head. 

"You  are  a  coquette,"  he  cried,  striking  one  hand 
with  the  other.  "You  lure  a  man  on  and  then  .  .  . 
what  is  it  that  you  want?  I  swear  that  a  few  hours 
ago  you  were  willing.  If  I  had  not  been  a  fool  .  .  . 
come  with  me  now  .  .  ." 

He  spoke  harshly  and  in  a  tone  of  command,  but 
that  only  stiffened  me. 

"You  should  try  to  understand,"  I  counseled  him. 
"Everything  is  at  an  end  between  us.  We  have  both 
made  a  mistake." 

"Unsinn  .  .  .  nonsense!  I  have  made  no  mistake. 
I  am  colossally  in  love  with  you  .  .  ." 

"Oh !  don't  be  silly,"  I  said,  and  sat  down.  "Colos- 
sally! That's  about  the  right  word  for  it." 

"You  are  in  an  impossible  mood,"  he  growled.  "I 
had  better  go." 

"Good-night !"  I  said  and  bowed  him  out  of  the 
door.  When  he  had  departed  the  strength  seemed 
to  go  from  me,  I  hardly  know  why.  I  sat  down  again 
beside  the  window  and  stayed  there  till  the  darkness 
came,  thinking  over  the  day's  doings.  I  was  not  proud 
of  the  part  I  had  played. 


XXI 

AL  that  night  and  most  of  the  next  day  I  was 
in  two  minds  what  to  do.  If  I  went  straight 
back  to  England  I  should  simplify  my  own 
affairs  but  I  should  be  causing  some  inconvenience  to 
the  Plessens.  They  had  certainly  not  consulted  my 
convenience  lately,  but  then  they  had  not  known  that 
my  solitary  life  was  turning  out  a  failure.  I  had 
written  to  Frau  Plessen  once  or  twice  but  I  had  not 
told  her  that.  Besides  I  had  covenanted  with  the 
Plessens  and  with  Aunt  Susan  for  a  year  in  Germany 
and  I  wanted  to  see  the  year  out  and  take  the  rough 
with  the  smooth.  Twice  I  had  said  I  would  go  back 
to  England  and  each  time  the  moment  the  words  were 
out  of  my  mouth  I  had  known  I  should  not  act  on 
them.  The  easiest  way  is  not  always  the  way  one 
elects  to  take. 

I  had  looked  forward  to  the  winter  in  Hamburg. 
The  children  had  told  me  of  skating  on  the  Alster 
and  of  the  celebrations  at  Christmas  and  New  Year. 
Aunt  Susan  had  said  in  her  last  letter  that  if  I  stayed 
on  she  might  shut  up  the  house  in  Chelsea  and  spend 
some  months  in  Rome.  I  must  make  up  my  mind 
one  way  or  the  other  and  make  it  up  quickly.  Frau 
Plessen  would  want  to  know.  Aunt  Susan  would  want 
to  know.  I  wrestled  with  myself  and  got  no  further. 
All  my  searchings  of  the  heart  played  round  a  central 
156 


IRON   COUSINS  157 

figure  and  my  choice  would  have  been  unperplexed 
if  I  had  known  better  what  Caspar  would  do.  Was 
that  episode  closed,  leaving  me  sore  and  disappointed, 
but  with  a  reserve  of  pride  on  which  I  could  depend? 
Or  would  he  try  to  batter  my  reserve  down  and  by 
being  aflame  himself  set  me  on  fire  again?  Could 
I  withstand  him?  In  one  sense,  of  course,  I  could. 
The  idea  of  a  marriage  that  was  not  a  marriage;  of 
a  temporary  union  called  by  some  fine  name  and  end- 
ing at  the  man's  pleasure  or  at  mine  never  frightened 
or  allured  me.  Our  love  did  not  reach  the  heights 
of  such  tragedy  or  sink  to  such  baseness.  I  was  neither 
a  heroine  nor  an  adventuress,  but  an  every-day  young 
woman  brought  up  with  every-day  ideas  of  right 
and  wrong.  Perhaps  they  tended  to  make  life  dull 
but  I  could  not  get  rid  of  them  on  that  account. 
On  fait  ce  qu'on  pent,  and  I  was  never  even  tempted. 
The  suspicion  that  Caspar  had  wished  to  offer  me 
his  left  hand,  but  not  his  right  fermented  in  my  mind 
with  destructive  force.  I  was  in  no  danger  with  a 
man  who  had  covertly  insulted  me.  When  my  wrath 
had  spent  itself  I  should  laugh  at  him.  At  least  I 
hoped  so.  The  real  difficulty  lay  in  the  reality  of  his 
attachment.  I  did  not  know  him  well  enough  to  know 
whether  it  would  survive  denial. 

I  still  felt  uncertain  what  to  do  when  the  decision 
was  taken  out  of  my  hands  by  one  of  those  common 
but  upsetting  events  that  alter  the  procedure  of  life 
at  a  moment's  notice.  Herr  Plessen  arrived  at  the 
Melkstrasse  that  afternoon  and  I  saw  at  a  glance  that 
something  untoward  had  happened.  After  greeting 
me  politely  and  taking  the  easy  chair  near  the  window 
he  said: 


158  IRON   COUSINS 

"Are  you  nervous?" 

I  wondered  what  he  meant.  When  he  came  in  I 
thought  at  first  that  he  had  heard  of  my  being  at 
Griinbeck  with  Caspar  yesterday  and  that  there  was 
going  to  be  what  Germans  call  Krach  and  what  we 
call  the  devil  to  pay,  but  I  knew  in  a  moment  that 
his  was  as  well  disposed  as  usual  towards  me  and  that 
his  trouble  was  his  own. 

"Are  you  nervous,"  he  repeated,  "nervous  about 
infection?" 

"Not  more  than  other  people." 

"Have  you  had  scarlet?" 

"Scarlet  fever?    I  don't  think  so." 

He  looked  at  me  in  his  ruminating  way  that  always 
reminded  me  of  a  cow  chewing  the  cud. 

"How  is  it  that  you  only  think  and  do  not  know?" 
he  said.  "One  should  know  such  things  about  one- 
self." 

"One  should,"  I  agreed.    "I  can  ask  Aunt  Susan." 

"It  would  take  some  hours,"  he  objected,  looking 
worried.  "Even  by  telegram  it  would  take  some 
hours,  and  the  children  have  no  one  with  them." 

"What?"  I  cried.     "The  children  .  .  ." 

"Not  all  of  them.  Only  Arthur  and  Trudi.  They 
arrived  at  midday.  Their  mother  sent  them  home. 
She  was  afraid  it  might  be  measles,  but  Dr.  Jastrow 
says  it  is  scarlet  which  is  far  worse." 

"But  was  the  flat  ready  for  them?" 

"My  wife  had  telegraphed  to  the  girls  and  they 
had  got  a  room  ready,  but  when  they  heard  that  it 
was  scarlet  Sophie  sat  down  and  howled  and  Marie 
ran  out  of  the  house.  So  I  locked  the  children  in  and 
came  here." 


IRON   COUSINS  159 

"It  was  the  best  thing  to  do.  Have  you  a  taxi 
waiting?" 

He  looked  immensely  relieved. 

"You  will  come?"  he  said.    "You  are  not  afraid?" 

I  had  opened  my  little  trunk  and  was  shoveling  my 
few  possessions  into  it  at  top  speed.  One  of  them  was 
the  crumpled  white  lawn  dress  I  had  worn  yesterday. 
A  sprig  of  heather  was  still  pinned  near  the  waist.  I 
left  it  there. 

"Will  Frau  Plessen  come?"  I  asked.  "Have  you  let 
her  know  about  Marie  ?" 

"She  knows.  She  will  not  come.  She  has  never 
had  scarlet  and  says  that  for  the  sake  of  the  other 
children  it  would  not  be  right  to  run  any  risks.  She 
is  always  in  the  highest  degree  nervous  about  in- 
fection." 

He  sighed  heavily  and  I  continued  to  open  drawers, 
empty  them  and  shut  them  again.  I  had  packed  my 
books  first. 

"It  is  a  terrible  business,"  he  said.  "For  months 
no  one  will  be  able  to  come  near  us  .  .  ." 

"Months!    You  mean  weeks." 

"Months.  First  the  illness  must  run  its  course  and 
then  the  children  must  be  segregated  for  six  weeks. 
After  that  the  room  has  to  be  papered  and  painted,  the 
bedding  has  to  be  disinfected  .  .  .  my  head  goes 
round  when  I  think  of  all  there  is  to  be  done.  The 
doctor  wants  a  sheet  dipped  in  carbolic  and  hung  at 
the  door.  How  am  I  to  know  which  sheet  my  wife 
would  use  for  such  a  purpose?  I  shall  probably  take 
her  best  one  and  hear  of  it  to  the  end  of  my  life. 
And  there  are  no  nails  over  our  doors  from  which  one 
can  hang  sheets.  Besides  the  very  idea  of  nails  in 


160  IRON   COUSINS 

conjunction  with  sheets  would  bring  my  wife  back 
by  the  first  train  and  then  she  would  probably  get 
scarlet  and  die  of  it.  If  I  can  telegraph  that  you  are 
there  she  will  feel  more  tranquil.  We  need  not  tell 
her  about  the  sheet  and  if  we  spoil  one  we  will  quickly 
buy  another  like  it.  But  she  would  probably  find 
us  out." 

"Never  mind!"  I  said,  shutting  down  my  trunk. 
"If  we  get  the  children  safely  through  scarlet  fever 
sheets  will  not  matter  much." 

I  am  sure  he  did  not  agree  with  me  and  thought 
that  I  was  making  light  of  a  serious  subject,  but  as 
I  was  ready  now  he  said  that  he  would  go  out  and 
find  a  taxi.  I  was  rather  surprised  that  he  did  not 
send  me  for  one  while  he  sat  still,  but  I  had  to  see 
Frau  Bach  and  was  glad  to  get  that  over  in  his  ab- 
sence. For  there  was  no  knowing  what  she  would 
say.  I  found  her  in  the  kitchen. 

"Here  is  the  money  I  owe  you,"  I  said,  holding  it 
out  "I  am  going  back  to  the  Jungfernstieg  at  once." 

I  did  not  ow«  her  anything  for  rent  as  I  had  paid 
that  in  advance,  but  every  Monday  morning  she 
brought  me  a  little  bill  for  bread,  milk,  light  and  such 
like  odds  and  ends,  and  I  had  found  it  as  usual  on  my 
breakfast  tray  this  morning.  She  looked  at  me  suspi- 
ciously. 

"So!"  she  said.  So!  The  Fraiilein  goes  back  in 
so  great  a  hurry!  Tell  Marie  then  to  visit  me  soon. 
From  her  I  hear  all  that  happens  at  the  Jungfernstieg." 

"Marie  has  run  away,"  I  said. 

"Who  told  you  such  a  thing?" 

"Herr  Plessen.     Sophie  howls  but  at  any  rate  she 


IRON   COUSINS  161 

stays.  When  I  get  there  she  will  cease  to  howl.  .We 
shall  be  busy." 

"What  then  has  happened?" 

"Two  of  the  children  have  scarlet." 

She  gave  a  screech  like  a  steam-engine  or  a  cocka- 
too. 

"But  the  Herr  has  probably  been  with  his  children 
and  comes  straight  from  their  bedside  to  my  house," 
she  cried.  "Such  a  thing  is  forbidden  .  .  .  polizeilich 
forbidden.  He  could  be  punished." 

"Oh!  don't  be  silly,"  I  said.  "Good-by!"  I  was 
not  inclined  to  waste  many  words  on  her  and  I  was 
about  to  walk  out  of  the  kitchen  when  she  called  me 
back. 

"The  Fraulein  has  not  paid  enough,"  she  said. 

"I've  paid  what  you've  charged  me,"  I  said  in 
some  surprise. 

"The  Fraulein  did  not  tell  me  she  was  leaving  to- 
day. I  thought  there  would  be  another  bill.  The 
Fraulein  has  not  paid  anything  for  hot  water." 

"For  hot  water?" 

Every  day  the  Fraulein  has  had  hot  water  with 
which  to  wash  herself.  .  .  .  It  is  a  habit  like  any  other 
and  if  the  Fraulein  can  afford  it  she  is  right  to  indulge 
herself.  But  it  was  made  hot  on  my  oil  stove  and  it 
costs  money." 

"How  much  ?"  I  said,  taking  out  my  purse. 

"Twenty  marks." 

I  took  a  thaler  out  of  my  purse. 

"I  will  not  pay  more,"  I  said. 

She  pursued  me  back  to  my  room  for  the  sake 
of  informing  me  in  her  squeaky  disagreeable  treble 
that  she  regretted  having  let  to  me  and  that  the  highly 


162  IRON   COUSINS 

respectable  Herr  Lehrer  had  complained  only  this 
morning  that  I  was  talking  late  last  night  with  a  gentle- 
man. As  she  had  been  out  she  did  not  know  who 
the  gentleman  was  and  he  had  apparently  refused  to 
give  his  name.  .  .  . 

Herr  Plessen  came  into  the  midst  of  it  followed  by 
the  taxi  man  whom  he  had  persuaded  to  fetch  my 
trunk.  When  Frau  Bach  saw  him  she  retreated  to  the 
furthest  corner  of  the  room  and  held  out  her  arms 
as  if  to  keep  him  off. 

"What  ails  her?"  said  Herr  Plessen  in  English. 

"She  is  afraid  of  infection  and  she  is  furious  with 
me  because  I  will  not  pay  twenty  marks  for  hot 
water." 

"For  hot  water !    What  hot  water  ?" 

"She  has  brought  me  some  every  day  to  wash  with." 

"In  a  large  can?" 

"In  a  little  jug.    I've  paid  her  three  marks." 

"Never  have  I  paid  for  such  a  thing,"  said  Herr 
Plessen. 

"I  thought  perhaps  it  was  the  German  custom,"  I 
began. 

"To  ask  twenty  marks  for  hot  water?  It  is  an 
impudence.  Simply  an  impudence!" 

He  said  that  in  German  and  addressed  himself  to 
Frau  Bach.  She  looked  at  me  with  venom  in  her 
bleared  old  eyes. 

"When  a  beautiful  young  lady  receives  visits  from 
rich  gentlemen,"  she  began  in  a  sickly  tone  that  gave 
me  nausea,  "rich  gentlemen  who  can  send  roses  at  this 
season  of  the  year  .  .  ." 

"What  is  she  muttering  about?"  said  Herr  Plessen, 


IRON   COUSINS  163 

and  turning  to  her  sternly  he  said:  "Shut  thy  mouth. 
Know  you  not  that  the  young  lady  is  English?" 

"An  accursed  race!"  she  whined.  "An  accursed 
race!  Do  I  not  read  it  in  the  Nachrichten  when  the 
Herr  Lehrer  throws  it  away?  Often  I  read  it  and 
it  is  true.  Stands  she  there  as  if  the  world  belonged 
to  her,  and  what  is  she  ?  One  who  comes  here  as  she 
says  to  study  and  lead  a  quiet  life.  One  who  has  no 
friend  and  must  be  coddled  with  tea  at  all  hours,  and 
hot  water  and  I  know  not  what.  But  gentlemen  she 
knows,  both  young  and  old  it  seems.  I  like  it  not. 
If  the  children  have  scarlet  their  mother  should  be 
with  them.  Where  then  is  their  mother?  Does  the 
Gn'ddige  Frau  know  that  you  leave  my  house  and  go 
bag  and  baggage  with  the  Herr  Gemahlf  What  am 
I  to  believe?" 

We  fled  before  her  tongue  and  got  into  the  taxi. 

"Such  women  should  be  drowned,"  said  Herr  Pies- 
sen.  "She  is  what  you  call  a  shrew." 

"Oh!  worse!"  I  cried.  "A  virago!  I  never  came 
across  anyone  like  her  before." 


XXII 

HERR  PLESSEN  did  not  approve  of  my  say- 
ing that  I  had  never  met  anyone  like  Frau 
Bach  because  he  thought  it  cast  a  slur  on 
Germany. 

"In  England  also  there  are  women  who  scold,"  he 
said. 

"No  doubt." 

"One  reads  of  them  in  Shakespeare." 

"And  in  Chaucer." 

"Chaucer!  I  do  not  know.  One  has  not  time  for 
everything.  But  that  was  an  evil  old  woman.  Why 
did  you  go  there?" 

"She  is  Marie's  aunt." 

"Is  that  a  reason?  So  do  all  women  argue.  They 
have  no  logical  sense.  I  remember  now.  My  wife 
told  me  you  were  with  people  she  knew.  I  thought 
she  meant  a  decent  burgherly  household  where  you 
would  have  been  well  looked  after." 

"Are  the  children  very  bad?"  I  asked.  "How  is  it 
they  were  allowed  to  travel  with  the  fever  on  them?" 

He  shrugged  his  shoulders  and  explained  that  his 
wife  was  staying  in  a  country  place  where  there  was 
only  a  village  doctor  and  that  she  had  bundled  the 
children  home  without  consulting  him.  The  journey 
did  not  seem  to  have  harmed  them,  and  if  you  are  to 
164 


IRON   COUSINS  165 

have  scarlet  it  is  better  to  be  in  Hamburg  than  in  the 
wilds." 

"With  children  there  is  always  something,"  he  said 
philosophically,  and  then  he  added:  "I  shall  come 
every  day  on  my  way  to  business  to  see  how  things 
go  and  what  you  require;  and  in  Dr.  Jastrow  you 
can  have  confidence.  He  is  an  excellent  doctor." 

So  I  was  to  be  by  myself  in  that  large  flat  with 
Sophie  who  howled  and  two  children  who  were  ill; 
and  I  was  to  nurse  them  both  through  scarlet  fever, 
and  afterwards  to  keep  them  company  while  they 
"peeled" — perhaps  get  the  fever  myself.  I  looked 
through  the  windows  at  the  busy  sunny  streets  and 
reflected  that  Christmas  would  be  coming  before  we 
were  all  at  large  again.  It  seemed  a  lifetime  since 
yesterday  morning  when  I  had  sat  by  the  waters  of 
Griinbeck  with  Caspar  and  listened  to  his  blandish- 
ments. The  realities  of  life  confronted  me  now:  sick- 
ness, solitude  again,  responsibility  and  hard  work.  I 
could  not  turn  my  back  on  them. 

"Someone  must  nurse  the  children,"  I  said. 

"Certainly!"  said  Herr  Plessen.  "When  children 
are  ill  they  must  be  nursed.  It  is  as  I  say.  Children 
make  much  work.  But  if  there  were  no  children  there 
would  be  no  men  and  women  and  if  there  were  no 
men  and  women  .  .  ." 

"Would  it  matter?" 

"It  is  unthinkable.  Besides,  the  children  are 
there." 

"I  suppose  that  if  I  did  not  nurse  them  you  would 
hire  a  trained  nurse." 

"But  you  have  said  that  you  would  nurse  them. 
For  what  other  purpose  have  you  left  that  evil  woman 


166  IRON   COUSINS 

and  come  with  me?  You  will  be  quite  comfortable. 
Sophie  will  assist  you  and  cook  for  you.  I  shall  pro- 
vide you  with  money  for  housekeeping.  Dr.  Jastrow 
will  give  you  exact  instructions  about  everything.  He 
is  coming  again  at  five  to  see  you." 

By  that  time  we  were  at  the  house  and  getting  out 
of  the  taxi.  The  thought  of  Trudi  and  Arthur  locked 
into  a  room  when  they  were  ill  and  feverish  winged 
my  feet  and  without  further  argument  I  hurried  up- 
stairs to  them.  When  they  saw  me  they  both  opened 
their  heavy  eyes  and  in  a  voice  of  deep  contentment 
said  "Sallee!" 

"Sallee  is  here." 

"My  throat  hurts  me,"  said  Trudi. 

"My  head  aches  frightfully,"  said  Arthur. 

"We  are  thirsty  and  there  is  nothing  to  drink." 

"The  sun  is  in  our  eyes  and  our  eyes  are  hot  and 
painful." 

"I  should  like  some  Cologne  water." 

"I  want  my  new  knife." 

"Aber  Kinder!"  said  the  father  who  stood  well  out- 
side the  door.  "Let  Miss  Danvers  take  off  her  hat 
and  arrange  herself.  Afterwards  she  will  attend  to 
you." 

I  was  glad  I  had  come  when  I  saw  how  much  I  was 
wanted  and  could  do.  The  doctor  was  efficient  and 
pedantic,  but  he  did  not  seem  to  care  about  the  chil- 
dren's comfort  or  want  to  relieve  their  pains  and 
aches  except  by  the  way  as  symptoms  of  the  disease 
that  must  be  combated.  When  he  examined  them  he 
was  rough,  and  if  they  shrank  from  him  he  was  im- 
patient. We  dreaded  his  daily  visit.  As  for  Sophie 


IRON   COUSINS  167 

she  ceased  to  howl  soon  after  I  arrived,  but  she 
stolidly  refused  to  enter  the  children's  room. 

"Illnesses  are  for  rich  people,"  she  said.  "I  am  a 
poor  girl  and  have  my  living  to  earn." 

"But  you  say  you  have  had  scarlet." 

"One  can  have  a  bad  thing  twice  over.  It  is  good 
fortune  that  does  not  repeat  itself.  Let  those  who 
can  pay  doctors  and  chemists  have  illnesses." 

"But  you  have  your  insurance  and  Herr  Pies- 
sen  .  .  ." 

"I  have  not  run  away  like  that  Marie.  No  one 
can  say  that  I  have  run  away.  I  hope  it  will  be 
remembered  at  Christmas.  But  Herrschaften  have 
short  memories.  What  the  likes  of  us  do  for  them 
is  never  enough,  but  what  they  do  for  us  ...  doss  Gott 
erbarm.  One  must  battle  through  life  as  best  one 
can.  Illnesses  I  do  not  want.  A  mothei  should  nurse 
her  children  and  not  expect  strangers  to  do  it.  A 
raven  mother  I  call  one  who  stays  away  from  her 
children  when  they  are  ill." 

"It  is  a  question  of  arithmetic,"  I  said.  "Better 
two  people  with  scarlet  than  five." 

"Motherly  love  is  not  a  question  of  arithmetic,'* 
said  Sophie  stoutly. 

"Of  reasoning  then." 

"When  one  loves  one  does  not  reason.  A  child 
knows  that." 

I  had  occasion  to  remember  this  dictum  a  few  days 
later  when  Sophie  was  out  on  some  errand  and  I  had 
to  answer  the  door.  There,  his  hands  full  of  parcels, 
stood  Caspar,  and  before  I  could  stop  him  he  had  shut 
the  door,  put  down  the  parcels  and  nearly  had  me  in 


168  IRON   COUSINS 

his  arms.  I  was  just  too  quick  for  him  I  am  glad 
to  say. 

"Stop  that!"  I  said  angrily  in  English.  "I  won't 
have  it." 

"How  can  you  be  so  cruel?  I  thought  you  would 
be  glad  to  see  me.  Is  it  amusing  then  to  be  shut  up 
week  after  week  with  two  sick  children?  Till  Christ- 
mas you  will  be  a  prisoner  here  my  uncle  says.  He 
is  still  with  us  and  every  day  he  brings  us  news  of 
you.  Miss  Danvers  is  a  pr'dchtige  Person  he  says 
.  .  .  quite  a  splendid  young  person  .  .  .  not  only 
does  she  nurse  the  children  day  and  night  but  she 
amuses  them  and  makes  them  happy.  Never  have  I 
seen  children  so  happy.  But  how  is  Miss  Danvers,  I 
ask,  and  get  no  answer.  My  uncle  only  sees  his  chil- 
dren when  he  comes  here.  If  he  were  not  blind  he 
would  see  that  you  were  pale  and  heavy-eyed.  You 
are  doing  too  much." 

"Come  again  when  we've  all  had  a  good  night," 
I  said.  "I'm  tired  this  afternoon." 

He  had  walked  into  the  dining-room  and  I  had 
followed  him.  We  stood  just  within  the  door  and 
now  he  shut  it. 

"You  are  glad  to  see  me  then?"  he  asked. 

I  shook  my  head. 

"But  you  invite  me  to  come  again.  Perhaps  you 
have  missed  me  as  I  have  missed  you,  my  little  love." 

He  was  determined  and  I  was  not.  He  knew 
exactly  what  he  wanted  and  I  did  not.  He  looked 
as  fresh  as  paint  and  I  was  so  weary  that  all  my 
senses  were  asleep  and  my  very  thoughts  quiescent. 
Still  my  memory  served  me,  and  his  endearments 
roused  it. 


IRON    COUSINS  169 

"You  run  risks  in  coming  here/'I  told  him.  "You 
don't  want  to  have  scarlet  fever  .  .  ." 

"What  about  you?" 

"I'm  at  my  post  .  .  .  like  a  soldier." 

"Have  you  had  the  fever?" 

"No." 

"Then  you  may  get  it." 

"Possibly." 

He  walked  to  the  end  of  the  long  room  and  walked 
back  again  to  where  I  stood.  He  was  evidently  put 
out  and  puzzled  what  to  do  or  say  next. 

"You  may  have  caught  it  already,"  occurred  to  him 
after  a  time. 

"It  may  be  incubating,"  I  agreed.  "You  had  better 
keep  away." 

"I've  had  it,"  he  said,  "when  I  was  a  child." 

"Your  uncle  has  had  it,  but  he  does  not  come  very 
near  us." 

"He  is  timid.  Besides  ...  he  has  not  the  same 
incentive." 

That  waked  me  up. 

"The  very  birds  of  the  air  will  give  their  lives  for 
their  young,"  I  cried,  and  I  reminded  him  of  Mark 
Twain's  story  of  the  mother  stork  who  seeing  her 
nest  on  fire  flew  down  to  cover  her  nestlings  with  her 
wings  and  was  consumed  with  them. 

"It  was  not  practical,"  he  said.  "If  the  stork  had 
lived  she  could  have  hatched  out  new  storks." 

"I  would  rather  be  heroic  than  practical,"  I  told 
him. 

He  looked  at  me  oddly. 

"You  are  not  afraid  of  infection,  but  you  are  afraid 
of  what  people  will  say,"  he  informed  me. 


i;o  IRON   COUSINS 

"I,  afraid!  Surely  it  was  you  at  Griinbeck  who 
could  not  face  the  music." 

He  walked  up  and  down  the  room  again. 

"You  don't  understand,"  he  said.  "I'm  dependent 
on  my  father.  Instead  of  making  me  partner  he  could 
turn  me  out  of  the  business  if  I  displeased  him." 

"Then  don't  displease  him." 

"It  would  be  foolish  in  the  highest  degree.  In  fact 
it  would  spell  ruin." 

"I  think  I  hear  the  children,"  I  said,  opening  the 
door.  "I  must  go." 

"When  can  I  see  you?  When  will  Sophie  be  out 
again?" 

"I  don't  know." 

"She  will  probably  go  out  on  Sunday." 

I  would  not  tell  him.  I  slipped  into  the  hall  and  was 
on  the  way  to  the  children's  room  when  he  came  after 
me  with  his  parcels. 

"Give  them  to  Arthur  and  Trudi  with  my  greet- 
ings," he  said.  "Tell  them  to  get  well  quickly.  On 
the  hall  table  there  is  something  for  you." 

With  that  he  was  gone  before  I  could  either  thank 
him  for  what  he  had  brought  the  children  or  inform 
him  that  I  would  not  accept  his  presents.  But  as  he 
fled  he  stole  a  kiss  so  quickly  and  so  unexpectedly  that 
I  found  nothing  to  say. 


XXIII 

HOW  much  easier  it  would  be  to  write  about 
people  if  they  were  either  bad  or  good  and 
not  the  usual  blend.  To  this  day  I  have  a 
soft  spot  in  my  heart  for  Caspar.  I  may  write  him 
down  a  bad  hat,  or,  as  Aunt  Susan  would  have  said, 
"a  young  man  without  any  principles,  my  dear,"  but  I 
remember  him  debonair,  in  love  with  me,  full  of 
energy  and  good  spirits  and,  unlike  most  Germans, 
generous.  His  little  cousins  adored  him  and  the  pic- 
ture books  he  had  sent  them  hardly  consoled  them 
for  his  omission  to  pay  them  a  bedside  visit.  The 
doctor  would  not  allow  it,  I  explained. 

"I  have  heard  Caspar  call  Dr.  Jastrow  an  old  don- 
key," said  Arthur.  "One  does  not  obey  the  orders 
of  old  donkeys." 

"We  do,"  I  reminded  them  and  administered  their 
medicine. 

"What  did  Caspar  bring  for  you  ?"  said  Trudi. 

I  pretended  not  to  hear  and  put  away  the  medicine. 

"When  he  went  away  he  spoke  loudly,"  said  Arthur. 
"We  heard  him  say  there  was  something  for  you  on 
the  hall  table." 

"Fetch  it  in  here,"  said  Trudi. 

I  sat  down  and  looked  at  the  little  devils.     They 

could  twist  me  round  their  fingers  and  knew  it.    They 

were  sitting  up  in  bed  and  wore  blue  flannel  jackets 

over  their  nighties.    Their  hair  was  rumpled  and  their 

171 


172  IRON   COUSINS 

blue  eyes  solemn.  What  one  asked  for  the  other  in- 
stantly wanted  and  in  my  own  kingdom  I  reigned  over 
two  conspirators. 

"If  we  do  not  see  what  Caspar  has  brought  you 
we  shall  become  excited,"  said  Arthur,  "and  I  heard 
the  old  donkey  say  that  we  were  not  under  any  cir- 
cumstances to  be  excited." 

"You  are  not  to  call  Dr.  Jastrow  an  old  donkey,"  I 
said. 

"We  shall  have  fever  if  we  become  excited,"  said 
Trudi. 

"Then  keep  calm,"  I  advised  them. 

"We  cannot  be  calm  until  we  know  what  Caspar 
has  brought  you.  Suppose  it  was  chocolate?" 

"Suppose  it  was?" 

"One  shares  chocolate  with  one's  friends." 

"I  have  a  frightful  yearning  for  chocolate,"  said 
Arthur. 

"I  too!"  sighed  Trudi  and  gazed  at  me  reproach- 
fully. 

"It  may  not  be  chocolate.  It  is  probably  a  book 
that  neither  of  you  would  understand." 

"But  one  looks  at  a  present.  At  least  one  looks," 
urged  Arthur. 

"Not  to  look  is  direct  ungrateful,"  said  Trudi. 

"I'll  get  it,"  said  Arthur,  and  was  out  of  bed  like 
a  flash  of  lightning  with  me  after  him,  but,  alas,  laugh- 
ing too.  "I'm  afraid  you  are  lacking  in  proper  con- 
trol of  the  children,"  wrote  Aunt  Susan.  She  was 
not  afraid  of  my  letters,  so  I  sent  her  long  ones  at 
this  time,  written  at  night  in  the  dining-room  after 
my  patients  were  asleep.  "Someone  had  brought  me 
a  box  of  chocolate,"  I  told  her,  and  she,  being  a 
shrewd  woman,  asked  who  the  someone  was.  "A 


IRON   COUSINS  173 

cousin  of  the  children's,"  I  answered,  and  blessed  my 
native  tongue,  for  its  indifference  to  genders.  In  Ger- 
man you  cannot  mention  a  cousin  without  mentioning 
a  he  or  a  she.  I  was  telling  Aunt  Susan  everything 
about  my  life  in  Hamburg  except  the  one  and  only 
thing  that  tangled  it.  Even  if  there  had  been  no 
tangle  but  a  smooth  every-day  courtship  I  could  not 
have  written  about  Caspar,  while  it  hung  fire.  I 
might  have  spoken  to  Isabella  if  she  had  been  in  reach 
but  never  to  Aunt  Susan.  We  were  shy  with  each 
other  as  different  generations  often  are.  Besides  I 
knew  she  would  not  like  the  idea  of  my  marrying  a 
German  and  living  in  Germany,  so  why  put  it  into 
her  head  when  it  might  never  come  to  pass. 

The  special  providence  that  invariably  sends  people 
where  they  are  least  wanted  sent  Herr  Plessen  to  ask 
after  his  children  at  the  very  moment  when  one  of 
them  was  in  the  hall  struggling  with  me  for  the  pos- 
session of  a  large  package  wrapped  in  a  smart  floral 
paper  and  tied  with  silver  string. 

"Chocolates!"  yelled  Arthur,  and  while  I  scolded 
and  Trudi  screamed  to  us  to  be  quick  the  key  turned 
quickly  in  the  latch  and  the  head  of  the  house  ap- 
peared. 

"What  is  up  ?"  he  asked  and  as  I  turned  to  meet  him 
Arthur,  hugging  my  box  of  chocolates,  tore  back 
to  bed. 

"Arthur  is  feeling  much  better  to-day,"  I  began. 

"So  it  seems,"  said  Herr  Plessen,  "but  had  he  your 
permission  to  be  out  of  bed  and  in  this  cold  passage?" 

"See,  Father !"  cried  Trudi  from  the  bedroom.  "See 
what  Caspar  has  brought  to-day.  Books  for  us  and 
an  enormous  box  of  chocolates  for  Sallee." 

Herr  Plessen  saw.     He  never  went  inside  the  chil- 


174  IRON    COUSINS 

dren's  room,  but  every  day  he  stood  at  the  open  door 
for  a  few  minutes  and  conversed  with  them. 

"How  is  it  you  were  in  the  hall  and  not  in  bed 
when  I  arrived?"  he  said  severely  to  Arthur. 

"Sallee  would  not  look  at  her  present  from  Cas- 
par," the  boy  said  repeating  himself.  "When  one 
becomes  a  present  at  least  one  looks  at  it." 

"In  moderation  chocolate  is  wholesome,"  said 
Trudi. 

"We  will  send  messages  to  Caspar  since  we  may  not 
write  to  him,"  said  Arthur. 

"Sallee  can  write  to  him,"  said  Trudi. 

"You  had  better  send  messages,"  I  counseled. 

Herr  Plessen  had  looked  at  the  children  and  the 
chocolates  and  now  he  looked  at  me. 

"Has  my  nephew  been  here  before  to-day?"  he 
asked. 

"No!"  I  said. 

"Greet  Caspar  from  us,"  said  the  children,  both 
speaking  at  once.  "Greet  him  lovingly  and  thank  him 
a  thousand  times  for  the  books  and  the  chocolate." 

"But  the  chocolate  is  not  meant  for  you  at  all," 
said  Herr  Plessen.  "Children  who  are  ill  in  bed  are 
not  allowed  to  eat  bonbons." 

"Consider  the  size  of  the  box,"  said  Trudi.  "If 
Sallee  ate  all  those  she  would  be  sick." 

"You  have  only  to  ask  Caspar,"  said  Arthur  ju- 
dicially. "He  will  tell  you  for  whom  he  meant  them." 

Herr  Plessen  gave  one  of  those  little  grunts  that 
meet  an  awkward  situation  more  easily  than  the  exact 
phrase:  he  told  Arthur  that  if  he  dared  to  leave  his 
bed  without  permission  again  he  would  be  sent  to  a 
hospital  where  no  such  pranks  were  allowed;  and  he 


IRON   COUSINS  175 

charged  me  not  to  let  the  children  spoil  their  stomachs 
with  sweets  and  to  exercise  my  authority  if  they  were 
troublesome. 

"They  are  as  good  as  gold,"  I  said. 

He  gave  his  little  grunt  again,  his  eyes  twinkling  at 
me  as  he  shook  hands  and  then  he  went  away.  I  won- 
dered whether  he  would  say  anything  about  the  choco- 
lates to  his  nephew,  and  what  he  would  say. 

I  could  not  go  out  on  Sunday  because  Sophie,  who 
worked  like  a  black  for  us  all  the  week,  wanted  her 
half  day  of  escape  then  and  I  had  not  the  heart  to 
ask  her  to  give  it  up  or  to  exchange.  On  a  Sunday 
she  met  her  Schatz,  sat  in  a  Bier-Halle  or  went  to  a 
dancing  hall  with  him  and  presumably  came  back 
strengthened  and  refreshed  for  the  week's  labor.  I 
used  to  see  her  leave  the  house  dressed  to  the  nines 
in  a  tartan  skirt,  a  shiny  black  cloth  coat  and  a  saucy 
fur  cap  that  sat  with  a  grotesque  effect  on  her 
weather-beaten  face  and  skimpy  hair.  But  she  always 
seemed  satisfied  with  herself  and  with  her  prospects. 
I  have  often  wondered  since  what  has  become  of  her 
and  whether  her  Schatz  is  still  alive.  But  she  told  me 
once  in  her  comfortable  Mecklenburg  voice  that  if  he 
failed  her  she  could  find  someone  to  take  his  place 
because  she  had  saved  enough  to  furnish  a  house  hand- 
somely; a  home  of  two  rooms  and  a  kitchen,  one  of 
the  rooms  being  a  "best"  one  with  a  plush  suite,  a 
carpet  in  front  of  the  sofa  and  a  clock.  Her  ambi- 
tions were  clear  and  limited  and  she  had  nearly  at- 
tained them.  I  did  not  exactly  envy  her  but  I  know 
she  pitied  me. 

"Fraulein  is  too  pretty  to  be  an  old  maid,"  she  said. 
"What  a  pity  that  she  has  no  money.  Without  money 


176  IRON   COUSINS 

it  is  difficult  for  a  girl  to  marry  and  in  the  better 
classes  so  much  is  required:  more  than  any  girl  can 
earn  for  herself." 

I  never  invited  these  comments  on  my  personal 
affairs  or  encouraged  them ;  but  Sophie  said  what  came 
into  her  head  and  took  silence  for  agreement. 

"The  children  have  told  me  that  the  young  Herr 
was  here  yesterday  and  brought  you  chocolates,"  she 
said.  "Such  a  butterfly." 

"How  can  the  children  tell  you  anything  when  you 
are  afraid  to  go  into  their  room?"  I  asked. 

"While  the  Fraulein  was  out  to-day  we  talked.  I 
set  their  door  open  and  remained  at  the  other  end  of 
the  passage.  It  was  quite  safe." 

"To-day  for  dinner  we  can  have  mutton,"  I 
observed. 

"Such  a  butterfly.  From  one  to  the  other  he  goes. 
All  Hamburg  knows  it.  It  is  time  he  ranged  him- 
self." 

"Mutton  with  potatoes.  Irish  stew.  The  children 
like  it." 

"He  goes  with  rich  people  and  he  will  be  rich  him- 
self. Such  people  look  for  money  with  their  wives." 

"Herr  Heiling's  marriage  is  not  our  concern, 
Sophie.  At  the  present  moment  I  am  thinking 
strongly  of  pancakes.  You  make  such  heavenly  pan- 
cakes and  with  preserved  cranberries  ..." 

Sophie  nodded  her  head,  pleased  with  my  approval 
of  her  cooking,  but  determined  to  strike  her  warning 
note. 

"Chocolates  are  not  serious,"  she  said.  "You  are 
a  foreigner  here  and  in  England  it  may  be  otherwise. 


IRON   COUSINS  177 

With  us  chocolates  say  nothing.  A  little  attention 
perhaps  but  nothing  more." 

"It  is  just  the  same  in  England,"  I  assured  her.  "A 
girl  who  allowed  her  head  to  be  turned  by  chocolates 
would  prove  that  she  had  no  head." 

"But  if  you  had  no  head  it  could  not  be  turned," 
argued  Sophie  stolidly.  "Besides,  I  have  yet  to  see 
a  human  being  without  a  head.  Fraulein  has  only  a 
small  one,  but  it  is  there  and  perhaps  can  be  more 
easily  turned  than  a  head  of  a  larger  size." 

I  wanted  to  tell  her  that  my  head,  though  small, 
was  screwed  on  the  right  way,  but  to  say  so  in  Ger- 
man was  still  beyond  me.  Besides  I  really  could  not 
discuss  my  matrimonial  chances  with  Sophie,  much 
as  I  liked  her  and  fashionable  as  it  is  to  be  demo- 
cratic. You  may  make  the  same  laws  for  rich  and 
poor,  with  a  bias  towards  the  poor ;  but  you  will  never 
make  the  Aunt  Susans  and  the  Sophies  of  the  world 
talk  the  same  talk  or  look  at  life  from  each  other's 
eyes.  No  doubt  Sophie  meant  well  towards  me;  but 
the  only  thing  that  could  have  sanctioned  intimate  dis- 
cussion between  us  would  have  been  affection.  We 
were  far  from  feeling  that  for  one  another  although 
we  were  on  good  terms. 

"We  have  talked  with  Sophie,"  the  children  told  me 
directly  I  went  in  to  them.  "She  opened  our  door 
and  then  ran  quickly  to  the  end  of  the  passage.  She 
is  very  frightful  of  scarlet.  Next  time  Cousin  Caspar 
comes  we  will  talk  with  him.  You  can  bring  him  a 
chair  from  the  dining-room." 

"Oh!  Can  I?"  I  said,  but  I  thought  it  was  a  good 
idea.  If  he  came  he  should  sit  in  full  view  of  his 
cousins  and  behave  himself. 


xxiv 

SUNDAY  came,  Sophie  went  out  and  I  was  left 
alone  with  the  children.  It  had  turned  bitterly 
cold,  there  was  talk  of  the  Alster  being  frozen 
and  I  had  had  the  dining-room  stove  lighted  so  that  I 
could  set  the  door  open  and  warm  the  passage.  Mod- 
ern German  houses  have  central  heating  and  a  con- 
stant supply  of  hot  water.  I  discovered  that  later  on 
when  I  went  to  see  the  Crefelds.  But  the  house  in 
which  the  Plessens  lived  had  been  built  by  Herr  Pies- 
sen's  grandfather  after  the  great  fire  in  1842  and  had 
no  latter-day  improvements  except  electric  lights.  Herr 
Plessen  remembered  stories  his  grandparents  told  of 
the  great  fire  and  said  that  to  the  end  of  her  life 
his  grandmother  could  not  speak  of  it  without  shud- 
dering; and  he  still  used  a  quaint  old  toilet  glass  that 
had  been  saved  from  her  burning  house.  She  herself 
had  been  driven  out  of  it  by  soldiers,  for  she  had  run 
back  at  the  risk  of  her  life  to  get  her  canary.  Arthur 
and  Trudi  belonged  to  the  fourth  generation  after  the 
fire,  but  they  still  talked  of  it  and  told  tales  of  it  much 
as  I  suppose  English  children  may  have  done  in  1742 
about  the  fire  of  1666.  They  were  full  of  talk,  too, 
about  the  skating  on  the  Alster  and  the  crowded  life 
on  the  ice  when  the  steamboats  could  not  run  and  you 
took  your  walks  on  the  water  instead  of  on  land.  I 
heard  them  having  a  heated  discussion  as  to  whether 
you  could  say  you  walked  on  water  when  the  water 


IRON   COUSINS  179 

was  frozen,  but  I  did  not  join  in,  because  I  was  stok- 
ing the  dining-room  stove  and  according  to  their  sug- 
gestion putting  one  or  two  chairs  in  the  hall. 

"Too  clever  by  half"  is  a  vulgar  expression  I  dare 
say,  but  how  I  should  get  on  without  vulgar  expres- 
sions I  do  not  know.  Aunt  Susan  did,  so  I  suppose 
I  belong  to  a  vulgar  generation.  I  don't  really  think 
so.  I  just  say  so  to  placate  pedants.  My  real  faith 
is  in  any  phrase  that  conveys  my  meaning  vividly 
whether  it  comes  from  Oxford  or  a  darkie's  cabin. 
"Too  clever  by  half"  exactly  describes  my  procedure 
that  Sunday  afternoon  when  I  knew  Caspar  would 
arrive  and  made  my  preparations  to  receive  him.  I 
could  not  keep  him  out,  but  I  could  set  chairs  and  a 
tea  table  in  the  passage  in  full  view  of  the  children 
who  watched  and  applauded  me;  but  showed  an  em- 
barrassing curiosity. 

"Who  then  is  coming,  Sallee?"  asked  Trudi. 

"Wait  and  see,"  I  said. 

"Perhaps  it  will  be  Caspar,"  said  Arthur.  "Sallee 
has  made  herself  beautiful." 

"Don't  talk  nonsense,  Arthur,"  I  said  from  the  pas- 
sage. "Every  Sunday,  as  you  know,  I  wear  this  frock." 

"She  becomes  red,"  said  Trudi.  "Have  you  ob- 
served that,  Arthur  ?  When  one  speaks  of  our  cousin 
Caspar,  Sallee  becomes  red;  as  red  as  a  rose.  She 
has  a  lovely  color." 

"I  have  always  told  you  that  Sallee  was  a  beautiful 
girl,"  said  Arthur  with  a  man  of  the  world  air.  "I 
regret  that  by  the  time  I  shall  be  old  enough  to  marry 
she  will  be  too  old  for  me." 

"Children,  I  will  not  have  this  talk/'  I  said  dash- 
jng  across  the  passage  to  their  ropro. 


i8o  IRON   COUSINS 

"What  talk  ?"  said  they  with  ingenuous  surprise. 

"Talk  of  marriage  and  getting  red  and  such  things. 
You  know  I  will  not  have  it." 

"I  suppose  that  is  what  Tante  Auguste  means  when 
she  says  all  English  people  are  hypocrites,"  said 
Arthur.  "We  Germans  speak  what  is  in  our  minds." 

I  could  not  very  well  speak  my  mind  about  Tante 
Auguste,  otherwise  Fraulein  Popper,  just  then,  so  I 
fetched  the  tea  things  and  put  the  kettle  on  a  gas  ring 
in  the  freezing  cold  kitchen.  One  of  my  minor  dis- 
appointments had  been  the  afternoon  meal  at  the 
Plessens,  which  was  neither  the  delicious  coffee  and 
cake  described  in  books  about  Germany  nor  our  own 
comfortable  afternoon  tea.  They  usually  had  tea  that 
looked  like  toast  water  and  tasted  of  straw;  and  a 
peculiarly  uneatable  brand  of  cheap  vanilla  biscuits 
which  Tante  Auguste  had  informed  me  (quite  un- 
necessarily) were  made  in  Germany. 

"We  consider  them  equal  to  the  best  English  bis- 
cuits," she  had  added,  and  of  course  that  silly  little 
Trudi  had  told  her  I  did  not  like  them.  However, 
to-day  we  had  a  fresh  Kaffee  kitchen  baked  as  a  sur- 
prise for  the  children;  for  they  were  nearly  well 
again  but  not  allowed  up  yet  by  Dr.  Jastrow 
and  of  course  still  with  weeks  of  segregation  before 
them.  They  were  in  the  highest  spirits  about  it, 
though,  until  the  doctor  had  said  that  they  might  soon 
do  lessons  again  provided  they  used  no  books  or  burnt 
those  they  used.  That  dashed  them  for  a  time  but 
not  for  long,  because  they  agreed  that  lessons  with  me 
were  not  lessons  at  all;  a  two-edged  tribute  that  I 
might  take  as  I  pleased. 

We  usually  had  tea  at  five,   but  it  was  hardly 


IRON   COUSINS  181 

half  past  four  when  the  children  caught  sight  of  the 
cake  and  said  they  both  felt  weak  with  hunger  and 
would  like  some  at  once. 

"After  the  dinner  you  both  ate  you  wouldn't  be 
weak  with  hunger  if  you  waited  till  to-morrow  morn- 
ing," I  said,  and  sat  down  for  a  moment  on  one  of 
the  chairs  near  the  front  door.  From  there  I  could 
see  in  a  diagonal  direction  into  the  children's  room  and 
we  could  talk  to  each  other  without  raising  our  voices 
as  much  as  they  were  used  to  do  at  all  times. 

"Dr.  Jastrow  told  you  that  it  was  important  to  keep 
up  our  strength,"  said  Arthur. 

Before  I  could  answer,  the  door-bell  rang  so  sud- 
denly and  shrilly  that  I  jumped.  The  children  jumped 
too,  with  mischief  and  excitement. 

"Caspar!  Caspar!"  they  shouted  as  I  opened  the 
door  and  they  craned  forward  in  their  beds  to  see  him. 

I  now  want  a  fine  poetical  simile  to  describe  the 
moment  of  dead  silence  that  ensued  when,  instead  of 
Caspar,  we  saw  Miss  Campbell  on  the  door  mat.  I'm 
half  afraid  that  the  silence  was  first  broken  by  Arthur 
saying  Pfui  in  a  whisper  to  Trudi ;  but  I  hope  Miss 
Campbell  did  not  hear  him.  She  wore  a  cheap  look- 
ing fur  coat  which  she  told  me  later  was  worth  a  for- 
tune and  had  belonged  to  a  Russian  princess  who  had 
sold  it  to  her  for  a  tenth  of  its  value;  and  the  nip- 
ping cold,  in  spite  of  her  furs,  had  seized  on  her 
prominent  nose  and  turned  it  to  a  crimson  that  went 
deeper  and  deeper  still  in  the  warm  air  of  the  hall. 
It  is  an  affliction  to  have  a  large  nose  that  behaves  like 
that  and  I  felt  sorry  for  her.  But  I  believe  I  wasted 
my  pity.  Her  manner  was  as  arrogant  as  ever  as  she 
stood  outside,  and  when  I  told  her  about  the  scarlet 


182  IRON   COUSINS 

fever  she  came  into  the  passage  and  said  she  was  not 
afraid  of  it  because  she  had  had  it  herself  and  so  had 
Gisela.  She  inquired  closely  into  our  doctor's  treat- 
ment and  mode  of  disinfection,  disapproved  of  both 
and  peering  at  the  children  through  her  glasses  and 
her  veil  said  that  they  had  probably  not  had  scarlet 
fever  at  all.  Since  she  was  not  afraid  I  asked  her 
to  have  tea  with  us,  and  she  said  that  she  had  come 
with  that  intention,  as  she  thought  I  must  be  thirsting 
for  a  little  intercourse  with  a  reasonable  grown-up 
person.  She  had  heard  of  my  incarceration  and  pitied 
me  from  the  bottom  of  her  heart.  The  constant  com- 
panionship of  children  was  both  tedious  and  wearing. 
She  did  not  lower  her  high-pitched  voice  to  say  all 
this  and  the  children  knew  enough  English  by  this  time 
to  follow  it  with  rising  indignation. 

"Sallee  has  it  good  by  us,"  sang  out  Arthur  in  his 
queer  jargon.  "All  night  we  sleep,  and  all  day  we  play 
together." 

"Why  do  you  come  here  and  hetz  Sallee?"  asked 
Trudi,  her  eyes,  as  I  could  see,  threatening  tears. 

"We  also  have  it  good,"  said  Arthur.  "We  choose 
our  own  dinners  and  Sophie  cooks  them." 

"And  our  cousin  Caspar  comes  with  books  for  us 
and  chocolates  for  Sallee,"  said  Trudi.  "You  need 
not  have  pity  with  Sallee.  She  likes  me  better  than 
Gisela;  such  a  little  Jewess." 

"Trudi!"  I  cried  and  sprang  to  my  feet,  thinking 
.to  create  a  sudden  diversion.  I  had  seen  Miss  Camp- 
bell prick  up  her  ears  at  Caspar's  name  and  before 
the  look  of  attention,  chagrin  and  surprise  had  sub- 
sided the  door  bell  rang  again. 

"But  you  expect  someone,?"  .she  .said,  and  her  eye 


IRON   COUSINS  183; 

lighted  on  the  tea  tray,  where  I  had  put  four  cups 
and  four  plates.  I  was  saved  from  answering  by  hav- 
ing to  open  the  door. 

"Well,  children!  how  goes  it?"  said  Caspar,  walk- 
ing in,  as  if  he  felt  quite  at  home.  But  he  checked 
himself  when  he  saw  Miss  Campbell  and  my  tea- 
table. 

"You  have  visitors,"  he  said,  and  allowed  himself 
to  be  presented. 

I  left  them  to  make  each  other's  acquaintance  and 
fled  into  the  kitchen  to  brew  the  tea  and  get  another 
cup  and  plate.  We  had  quite  a  cheery  time  after  I 
got  back.  I  went  to  and  fro  between  my  guests  and 
my  patients :  the  children  chattered ;  Sophie's  cake  was 
heavily  punished  by  five  of  us,  all  hungry;  and  Miss 
Campbell  found  that  Herr  Heiling  had  spent  a  year  in 
Paris  and  knew  the  fashionable  street  in  which  her 
married  sister  lived.  He  nearly  knew  the  sister  you 
might  say,  for  he  had  been  to  a  party  on  the  etage  below 
where  a  baron  and  baroness  lived  with  whom  the 
Wolffs  were  on  speaking  terms.  She  observed  that 
the  world  was  a  small  one  and  that  she  was  only  in 
Hamburg  herself  because  she  had  an  original  and  in- 
dependent mind  that  likes  to  leave  the  beaten  track. 
Caspar  turned  his  eyes  discreetly  from  her  nose  which 
the  warmth  of  the  flat  and  a  full  meal  affected  dis- 
tressingly and  presently  got  up.  He  leaned  against 
the  door  of  the  children's  room  and  had  a  merry 
argument  with  them  about  Max  and  Moritz.  I  knew 
from  the  way  he  stood  and  the  way  he  glanced  impa- 
tiently at  us  once  or  twice  that  he  meant  to  outstay 
Miss  Campbell.  But  she  was  equally  determined  and 
either  dense  or  designedly  disobliging.  Perhaps  it  did 


184  IRON   COUSINS 

not  accord  with  her  ideas  of  propriety  to  leave  him 
behind  with  me.  Perhaps  she  thought  she  had  im- 
pressed him  and  that  he  would  accord  her  his  atten- 
tion again.  At  any  rate  she  stayed,  and  stayed.  Stayed 
like  bad  luck.  The  darkness  had  come  long  since  and 
the  lights  we  needed  were  turned  on.  She  helped  me 
to  draw  curtains.  She  helped  me  to  carry  away  the 
tea-things.  She  stayed  by  me  while  I  washed  them, 
but  expressed  her  surprise  that  I  should  demean  my- 
self by  doing  a  servant's  work. 

"Sophie  would  have  more  respect  for  you  if  she 
found  them  unwashed,"  she  assured  me.  "When 
Gisela  was  ill  I  would  not  even  wash  her  medicine 
glass.  I  told  Frau  Crefeld  when  I  went  there  that  I 
must  be  waited  on  hand  and  foot  as  I  had  been  accus- 
tomed. Otherwise  ..." 

Her  voice  was  shrill  with  exhortation.  How  I 
wished  she  would  go  and  how  little  I  liked  her. 

"I  shall  soon  come  and  see  you  again,"  she  said, 
keeping  close  to  me  as  we  returned  to  the  hall ;  so  close 
that  her  face  nearly  touched  mine  and  more  than  once 
I  had  to  draw  back  from  it.  "When  am  I  likely  to 
find  you  alone?" 

"I'm  never  alone  now  that  the  children  are  ill,"  I 
said. 

"The  children  do  not  matter.  We  can  shut  their 
door  for  an  hour  if  we  want  a  little  quiet." 

"You  don't  know  the  children  ..." 

"Oh !  of  course  I  can  see  how  you  spoil  them.  You 
have  allowed  yourself  to  be  their  slave.  That  is  be- 
cause you  are  so  inexperienced.  I  should  like  to  give 
you  my  ideas.  I  am  always  ready  to  help  persons  who 


IRON    COUSINS  185 

seem  rather  young  and  helpless.  Does  Herr  Heiling 
come  every  day?" 

"Certainly  not.  Herr  Plessen  comes  but  he  does  not 
stay  long." 

At  that  moment  Herr  Heiling  marched  past  us  look- 
ing so  thunderously  angry  that  I  felt  embarrassed,  for 
I  thought  Miss  Campbell  must  surely  guess  that  her 
prolonged  visit  was  what  had  upset  him. 

"Good-night,"  he  said  to  both  of  us  inclusively  and 
he  shuffled  into  his  fur-lined  coat  and  slammed  the 
door  behind  him. 

"What  a  bear !"  said  Miss  Campbell  and  sat  down 
again. 

She  stayed  to  supper. 


XXV 

"  TT  F  I  had  a  nose  like  that  I  would  not  take  it  out 
in  snow  air,"  said  Arthur  viciously. 

"I  also  not,"  said  Trudi.     "She  spoilt  our 
afternoon.    Old  witch !" 

I  pretended  not  to  hear  while  I  got  the  room  ready 
for  the  night,  but  when  they  proceeded  to  make  fur- 
ther remarks  about  Miss  Campbell's  nose  and  about 
her  general  disagreeableness  I  had  to  talk  to  them 
like  a  copy  book. 

"One  must  never  criticise  departing  guests,"  I  ex- 
plained. 

"Why  not?" 

"It  is  impolite  and  unkind." 

They  answered  that  they  were  only  impolite  and  un- 
kind to  people  who  deserved  it  and  they  pointed  out 
that  they  both  behaved  like  little  angels  to  me.  They 
said  that  cousin  Caspar  agreed  with  them  about  Miss 
Campbell  and  had  spoken  of  her  as  a  Teufelsweib 
when  she  was  in  the  kitchen  and  could  not  hear  them ; 
and  he  had  asked  them  what  time  they  settled  down 
for  the  night,  whether  I  stayed  up  later  than  they  did 
and  at  what  time  Sophie  came  back  to  the  flat. 

So  I  was  not  surprised  to  hear  the  bell  again  about 

half  past  nine  and  to  see  Caspar  when  I  opened  the 

door.     The  children  were  fast  asleep ;  Sophie  had  a 

key  with  her  and  might  not  be  back  till  midnight;  I 

186 


IRON   COUSINS  187 

was  established  in  the  dining-room  with  "Egmont" 
and  a  dictionary.  It  was  warm  and  quiet  in  there  that 
night.  I  had  drawn  an  easy  chair  near  the  stove  and 
when  Caspar  followed  me  in  he  pulled  one  forward 
for  himself. 

"Very  comfortable,"  he  said  as  he  sat  down. 

"Why  have  you  come  again?"  I  asked. 

"You  expected  me?" 

"More  or  less ;  from  what  the  children  said." 

"Are  you  glad  to  see  me  ?" 

I  was  rather,  though  I  knew  that  I  ought  not  to  be. 
I  was  angry  with  myself  for  finding  that  my  self- 
respect  was  still  at  loggerheads  with  my  senses  and 
that  in  his  presence  I  still  felt  his  charm.  I  knew  he 
was  behaving  badly  and  yet  I  had  not  whistled  him  to 
the  winds  as  completely  as  I  should  have  done.  That 
was  before  me  and  I  meant  beyond  all  doubt  to  do  it; 
but  I  hardly  expected  to  find  it  easy. 

"Suppose  the  children  waked?"  I  said.  "Or  sup- 
pose your  uncle  called  and  found  you  here  ?  Or  sup- 
pose Sophie  came  back  earlier  than  usual  ?" 

"They  need  not  know  that  I  have  been  here  more 
than  five  minutes." 

"The  children  got  hold  of  those  chocolates  and  told 
their  father  about  them." 

He  looked  quite  taken  aback  and  annoyed. 

"He  has  said  nothing.  My  uncle  is  a  sly  fox.  Not 
a  word  has  he  said.  But  why  were  you  not  more 
careful?  Why  did  you  allow  it?" 

"I  am  not  going  to  be  careful.  If  you  bring  things 
to  me  they  will  remain  on  the  hall  table  for  anyone 
to  see." 

"But  why  such  nonsense?" 


i&8  IRON  COUSINS 

"I  will  not  accept  things  from  you." 

"Then  you  are  irreconciliable  ?" 

"Quite." 

He  pulled  his  mustache  and  stared  at  me.  I  tried 
to  gather  myself  together  and  have  it  out  with  him. 

"What  is  it  that  you  want?"  he  said. 

"I've  just  told  you.    Nothing.    Nothing  at  all." 

"I'm  not  talking  of  chocolates,"  he  said  impatiently. 
"Don't  you  understand  ?" 

"I  believe  I  do,"  I  said.    "I  am  not  a  child." 

He  seized  at  that. 

"It  is  what  I  say.  You  are  not  a  child.  You  are 
independent.  You  can  please  yourself." 

"I  can." 

"Then  .  .  .  Sallee." 

I  put  out  both  my  hands  to  keep  him  off.  I  was 
not  afraid.  I  was  not  even  as  angry  as  I  should  be 
to-day  when  I  am  a  woman.  I  was  more  of  a  child 
than  I  knew  at  the  time,  but  I  tried  to  behave  in  a 
grown-up  way. 

"Let  us  talk  plain  English,"  I  said.  "What  are 
you  offering  me?" 

"Love.    The  most  passionate  love." 

I  looked  at  him  pensively. 

"You  are  making  a  mistake,"  I  said.  "I  should 
have  thought  a  man  of  the  world  like  you  would  have 
known  better." 

He  began  to  bristle  at  once.    I  knew  he  would. 

"I  suppose  it  is  because  I  am  a  foreigner,"  I  con- 
tinued. "It  is  difficult,  I  know,  to  appreciate  social 
differences  in  foreigners." 

His  face  darkened  and  he  muttered  some  long  Ger- 
man swear  word  under  his  breath ;  one  of  those  com- 


IRON   COUSINS  189 

pound  ones  that  stretch  across  the  page  when  written 
and  look  something  like  this: 

Schockschwererbrettpotztausendhimmclsacrament. 

"I  made  a  mistake  too,"  I  hastened  to  say.  "These 
international  relations  present  difficulties  ..." 

He  lost  his  temper  completely  at  that  and  as  the 
dining-room  table  was  near  us  he  emphasized  what  he 
said  on  it  with  his  fist. 

"I'm  not  a  man  a  woman  can  play  with,"  he  told 
me.  "I  know  more  than  you  think.  I  have  English 
relations  in  Manchester.  They  have  told  me  what 
your  girls  are  like  .  .  .  how  they  lead  men  on  ... 
what  their  virtue  is  worth  .  .  .  yes  worth  ...  in 
bare  money." 

Then  I  got  angry,  too.  It  was  an  undignified  scene 
and  I  wish  I  could  paint  it  in  pleasanter  colors.  I 
got  so  angry  that  I  could  not  speak  for  a  moment  and 
glared  at  him  silently. 

"Ach!"  he  said,  recovering  before  I  did.  "Why 
do  we  always  quarrel?  Probably  the  Papendorffs 
lie  .  .  ." 

"I  have  no  doubt  of  it,"  he  said.  "But  I  have  been 
in  England  myself.  I  lived  in  a  boarding-house  in 
Kensington ;  a  high-class  one  as  you  say." 

"I  don't  say  it;  but  never  mind.  Go  on.  What 
happened  in  your  high-class  boarding-house?" 

"There  were  young  ladies  there  .  .  .  ach!  such 
amiable  young  ladies.  But  I  was  on  my  guard.  JL 
had  no  wish  to  figure  in  your  breach  of  promise  court. 
I  took  care." 

"Very  sensible  of  you." 

"But  I  was  never  over  head  and  ears  in  love  with 
any  of  them  as  I  am  with  you.  If  it  were  not  for 


190  IRON   COUSINS 

my  parents,  if  I  were  really  independent,  I  would 
make  you  an  offer  of  marriage  .  .  .  Sallee." 

"You  would?" 

"On  my  honor  I  would.  But  after  all  to  a  free 
adventurous  spirit  like  yours,  what  is  marriage?" 

I  looked  at  him  mockingly.  He  was  putting  his  foot 
into  it  and  he  seemed  to  think  that  he  was  coaxing 
me  round.  He  came  a  little  nearer  and  would  have 
fiddled  with  one  of  my  hands  if  I  had  let  him,  but  I 
drew  back. 

"A  civil  contract.  Some  words  mumbled  by  a  priest. 
Why  should  the  want  of  such  things  separate  us?" 

"Somehow  they  do,"  I  said. 

"With  me  they  have  no  weight  at  all.  I  should  look 
on  you  as  my  wife." 

"For  how  long?" 

"Ach!  what  has  love  to  do  with  time?  Perhaps 
as  long  as  we  live.  I  am  offering  you  a  serious  posi- 
tion, Sallee.  I  know  you  are  not  a  girl  who  would 
accept  anything  else,  though  I  assure  you  that  both  in 
England  and  Germany  there  are  thousands  of  girls 
who  have  quite  other  ideas.  The  old  boundaries  have 
gone.  Women  are  freeing  themselves." 

"Freedom  isn't  license,"  I  said. 

He  struck  at  my  open  book  lying  near  him  on  the 
table. 

"You  read  'Egmont,'  "  he  cried.  "How  can  you 
read  'Egmont'  and  talk  like  a  prude?  If  you  loved  me 
as  Clarchen  loved  ..." 

"Are  you  proposing  that  you  and  I  should  play 
the  parts  of  Egmont  and  Clarchen?" 

"It   would   end    differently.      I   shall   not   be   be- 


IRON   COUSINS  191 

headed.  You  will  not  die.  In  these  days  Clarchen  is 
as  happy  and  prosperous  as  anyone  else." 

"Is  she?" 

"I  give  you  my  word.  I  can  tell  you  of  cases  .  .  . 
I  know  cases  .  .  .  amongst  my  friends  ..." 

"I  have  never  heard  of  a  single  case  amongst  mine. 
It  is  impossible.  It  could  not  happen.  If  it  did  it 
would  be  a  tragedy." 

"Nevertheless  if  you  loved  me  enough  .   .   ." 

"But  I  don't,"  I  said  boldly.  "I've  discovered 
that." 

"What  have  you  discovered?" 

"That  I  don't  love  you  enough.  You  offer  me,  as 
I  understand  you,  ruin  and  disgrace  ..." 

"Ach!    Words!" 

"No.  Realities.  I  see  them  plainly ;  so  plainly  that 
I  can  see  nothing  else.  So  I'm  not  tempted.  I'm  not 
even  grateful.  On  the  contrary,  I'm  so  angry  that  as 
you  may  hear  it  is  affecting  my  voice  .  .  .oh!  Go 
...  go  ...  before  ..." 

I  had  begun  to  speak  calmly  and  judicially  and 
when  I  began  I  expected  to  end  on  the  same  note.  The 
way  in  which  I  was  suddenly  overwhelmed  by  wrath 
and  agitation  was  a  complete  and  humiliating  surprise 
to  me.  I  got  up,  meaning  to  leave  the  room  and  let 
him  find  his  way  out  alone ;  but  he  stood  between  me 
and  the  door  and  if  I  was  white  with  anger  he  was 
white  too,  and  dangerous. 

"You  have  made  a  fool  of  me,"  he  cried.  "I  won't 
endure  it." 

Luckily  I'm  fleet-footed  but  so  was  he.  For  a 
moment  I  knew  what  it  was  to  feel  afraid,  but  I  was 
more  angry  than  afraid  even  when  he  came  towards 


192  IRON   COUSINS 

me  with  his  cat-like  sideways  gait,  quickly  and  quietly. 
I  hated  the  indignity  of  it  and  the  absurdity,  but  I 
twisted  my  shoulder  from  his  grasp  before  he  had 
tone  to  strengthen  it  and  fled  round  the  dining-room 
table  with  him  after  me.  As  I  escaped  through  the 
door  I  banged  it  and  he  was  so  near  that  it  banged 
on  his  hand  instead  of  shutting  properly.  He  gave  a 
scream  of  pain,  but  I  ran  on  into  the  children's  room 
and  locked  myself  in.  Then  I  stood  still  and  listened. 

"Sallee!"  he  said  a  moment  later.  "Come  out  and 
talk  to  me." 

"No!"  I  said. 

"You've  hurt  my  hand.    I  want  you  to  bind  it  up." 

"Get  it  done  at  the  ambulance  station." 

"I  want  to  reason  with  you." 

"You'll  wake  the  children  in  a  moment." 

"If  I  go  now  I  go  for  good." 

"I'm  glad  to  hear  it." 

I  heard  swear  words  again  and  no  sound  yet  of 
departing  feet. 

"I  can't  talk  to  you  through  a  wooden  door,"  he 
said  pettishly. 

"There  is  nothing  more  to  say." 

"ItisArac&then?" 

"Yes." 

It  was  with  relief  first  and  dismay  next  that  I  heard 
the  front  doorbell  ring  again.  I  could  think  of  no 
one  but  Sophie  who,  having  forgotten  her  key,  was 
returning  earlier  than  usual  so  that  I  should  let  her 
in.  But  it  was  not  Sophie.  As  I  stood  close  to  the 
door  listening  to  every  sound  I  heard  Miss  Campbell's 
high-pitched  voice  although  I  had  not  heard  Caspar 
admit  her.  I  knew  directly  what  had  happened  be- 


IRON   COUSINS  193 

cause  it  had  happened  before.  When  he  arrived  he 
had  shut  the  door  very  softly  so  as  not  to  rouse  the 
children  and  the  hasp  had  not  held.  She  had  just 
walked  in  and  found  Caspar  at  my  keyhole. 

Schockschwererbrcttpotztausendhimmelsacrament. 

"Herr  Heiling!"  I  heard  her  exclaim.  "You  here! 
I  must  apologize  for  returning  at  this  late  hour,  but 
I  think  I  left  a  glove  .  .  .  ach!  there  it  is  ...  a 
thousand  thanks  .  .  .  but  where  is  Miss  Danvers?" 

"I  have  not  seen  her,"  he  said  promptly.  "I  came 
as  you  did  .  .  .  because  I  had  left  something  behind." 

"But  how  did  you  get  in,  if  one  may  ask?" 

"As  you  did.     I  found  the  door  open." 

"But  there  are  lights  in  the  dining-room  and  it 
looks  .  .  .  really  it  looks  .  .  .  as  if  the  children  had 
been  having  a  charivari  .  .  .  what  a  Wilthschaft! 
Perhaps  I  had  better  see  if  Miss  Danvers  is  in  her 
room." 

To  save  her  further  trouble  I  opened  the  door. 


XXVI 

ArNT  SUSAN  had  once  told  me  that  a  celebrated 
scholar,  who  was  also  a  man  of  the  world, 
had  laid  it  down  as  a  rule  of  life  never  to 
explain  and  never  to  apologize.  Anyone  like  me,  in- 
clined by  nature  to  be  garrulous  and  easily  confused, 
can  only  remember  such  advice  as  a  counsel  of  per- 
fection and  perhaps  strive  after  it  in  the  hour  of 
need.  I  did  so  as  I  stood  at  my  open  bedroom  door 
with  the  light  turned  on  and  the  two  children  drowsily 
awake  behind  me.  I  said  nothing. 

"But  here  is  Miss  Danvers,"  cried  Miss  Campbell. 
"I  thought  you  must  be  up  still  as  all  the  lights  are 
on.  Did  you  know  that  the  door  of  the  flat  was 
open?" 

"No,"  I  said. 

"I  let  myself  in,  and  Herr  Heiling  says  that  he  let 
himself  in  the  moment  before.  Very  strange!" 

"Did  you  want  to  see  me?" 

"I  left  a  glove  here.  I  came  back  for  it  and  saw 
it  at  once  on  a  chair.  I  am  very  glad  I  came  back. 
Herr  Heiling  says  that  he  also  has  forgotten  some- 
thing." 

I  looked  at  Herr  Heiling  and  hoped  my  appearance 
was  more  composed  than  his.  You  could  see  that  he 
was  saying  Teufclsweib  to  himself  and  that  he  felt 
furiously  annoyed  and  disappointed.  He  was  very 
pale.  He  bit  his  lips  while  she  was  speaking  and  when 
194 


IRON   COUSINS  195 

she  alluded  to  him  he  lost  his  temper  completely  and 
his  head,  too. 

"You  have  come  back  to  spy  on  us,"  he  said,  and 
delivered  me  as  well  as  himself  into  her  hands.  She 
looked  down  her  nose  at  the  glove  she  was  putting 
on,  shrugged  her  shoulders  and  smiled  disagreeably. 

"One  could  not  guess  that  Miss  Danvers  received 
visitors  at  this  time  of  night,"  she  said.  "When  I 
left  her  I  went  to  see  a  friend  who  lives  close  by  and 
as  I  missed  my  glove  I  thought  I  would  come  back 
for  it." 

"I  tell  you  I  had  not  seen  Miss  Danvers  when  you 
arrived,"  protested  Herr  Heiling,  and  looked  to  me 
for  confirmation.  But  I  did  not  give  it. 

"Strange!"  murmured  Miss  Campbell  again.  "As 
I  came  up  the  stairs  I  heard  sounds  .  .  ." 

No  doubt  she  had  heard  sounds.  She  had  heard 
me  run  into  my  room  and  slam  the  door,  and  before 
that  she  had  probably  heard  Herr  Heiling  call  out 
when  he  hurt  his  hand  and  then  appeal  to  me  to  bind 
it  up.  He  was  still  nursing  one  hand  with  other  as 
if  it  pained  him. 

"I  will  not  disturb  you  any  longer,"  said  Miss 
Campbell.  "Good-by,  Miss  Danvers.  Perhaps  I  need 
hardly  say  that  in  future  .  .  ." 

She  did  not  finish,  but  disappeared  as  suddenly  as 
she  had  arrived.  I  have  often  thought  since  that  per- 
haps I  ought  to  have  made  her  stay  behind  while  I  dis- 
missed Caspar  and  told  him  in  her  presence  not  to 
come  again  till  his  aunt  was  back.  But  I  am  not  sure. 
I  was  not  inclined  to  defend  myself  to  her  for  my 
conduct  was  not  her  business  and  I  should  probably 
not  have  convinced  her. 


196  IRON   COUSINS 

"Now  we  are  in  the  soup,"  said  Caspar  when  she 
was  out  of  sight  and  hearing.  "She  will  cackle  to 
all  Hamburg." 

"What  will  she  cackle  about?"  said  Arthur  behind 
me,  for  both  children  were  wide  awake  now  and  taking 
an  intelligent  interest  in  our  proceedings. 

"It  is  time  to  go.    Good-night,"  I  said  to  Caspar. 

"But  Sallee  .  .  .  what  is  to  be  done  ?  I  must  speak 
to  you.  Come  into  the  dining-room  again  just  for 
a  minute,  and  if  the  children  will  be  good  to-morrow 
they  shall  have  the  biggest  box  of  chocolates  .  .  ." 

"Ach  go,  Sallee !    Quickly  go,"  they  cried  in  unison. 

I  did  not  go  into  the  dining-room,  but  I  went  a 
little  farther  along  the  passage  so  that  I  could  speak 
in  a  low  voice  without  being  overheard  by  the  children. 

"I  have  nothing  more  to  say,"  I  told  him.  "Good- 
night." 

"But  Sallee,  you  are  such  a  child  .  .  .  you  don't 
realize  .  .  .  that  woman's  tongue  can  do  you  harm." 

"That  disturbs  you." 

"Of  course  it  disturbs  me.    I  wish  you  well." 

"You  think  I'm  going  to  be  done  to  death  by 
slanderous  tongues." 

"Not  done  to  death, -but  vexed  .  .  .  perhaps  dis- 
graced." 

"As  long  as  I  don't  disgrace  myself  ..."  I  began, 
and  in  the  dead  silence  that  ensued  he,  at  last,  had 
the  grace  to  go. 

I  did  not  see  him  again  for  a  long  time  nor  did  I 
hear  from  him.  He  sent  the  chocolates  to  the  children 
next  day  and  they  wanted  me  to  write  and  thank  him. 
But  I  let  them  give  Herr  Plessen  a  message  instead. 
I  did  not  see  Miss  Campbell  again  either,  and  I  was 


IRON    COUSINS  197 

not  asked  to  the  Crefelds;  but  I  could  not  tell  yet 
whether  they  ignored  me  because  I  was  in  quarantine 
or  because  Miss  Campbell  had  made  mischief.  When 
the  time  of  our  segregation  was  nearly  at  an  end 
Herr  Plessen  came  in  one  day  to  arrange  about  the 
children's  room  being  painted  and  papered  and  their 
bedding  thoroughly  disinfected.  While  this  was  done 
we  were  to  use  the  Fremdenzimmer,  and  he  said  he 
hoped  we  were  all  quite  safe  because  his  wife  was 
bringing  a  niece  with  her  who  would  occupy  it  after  us. 

"Comes  Elsa  to  Hamburg?"  cried  Trudi,  and  looked 
as  pleased  as  Punch  when  her  father  said  that  Elsa 
was  coming  and  would  probably  spend  the  winter  and 
spring  with  them. 

"Who  is  Elsa?"  I  asked  the  children  when  their 
father  had  gone. 

"She  is  our  cousin,"  said  Trudi. 

"A  child?" 

"No,  no.    Elsa  is  old  .  .  .  perhaps  as  old  as  you." 

"I  know  Elsa's  age,"  said  Arthur.  "Last  year  when 
we  were  at  Eutin  she  celebrated  her  eighteenth  birth- 
day." 

"She  is  very  pretty,"  said  Trudi. 

"But  not  as  pretty  as  Sallee,"  said  Arthur. 

"That,"  said  Trudi,  "is  a  matter  of  taste.  Elsa  has 
more  color  and  her  cheeks  are  rounder." 

"They  are  too  round.  They  are  like  apples.  Cheeks 
should  not  be  like  apples." 

"Apples  are  pretty,"  argued  Arudi.  "Besides  Elsa's 
hair  shines  like  gold." 

"I  find  her  langweilig,"  said  Arthur  stoutly.  "Sallee 
is  never  langweilig." 

I  gathered  that  Elsa  Mieding  was  an  only  child  and 


198  IRON   COUSINS 

an  orphan  who  had  been  brought  up  by  her  grand- 
mother in  the  country.  I  wondered  what  she  would 
be  like  for  what  the  children  said  about  her  told  me 
something,  but  not  much.  However,  Christmas  was 
nearly  on  us  before  she  came.  I  had  had  a  busy  time 
getting  the  flat  ready  and  wrestling  with  an  incom- 
petent maid  engaged  by  Herr  Plessen  in  Marie's 
place.  Then  Oscar,  who  had  been  staying  with  friends 
near  his  school  since  the  holidays,  came  back  to  us 
and  behaved,  as  Trudi  said,  like  a  fox  in  a  hen-yard. 
He  had  become  rough  and  unruly  and  had  forgotten 
all  the  English  I  had  taught  him.  He  said  it  was 
unnecessary  for  any  German  to  learn  English  because 
Germans  were  shortly  going  to  conquer  the  world 
and  that  everyone  would  then  have  to  speak  German. 
Also  he  was  a  boy  and  considered  it  beneath  his  dignity 
to  take  orders  from  a  woman.  I  let  him  feel  the 
rough  edge  of  my  tongue  and  sent  him  quietly  to 
Coventry  till  he  came  round,  and  he  very  soon  did. 
He  knew  that  his  father  and  mother  would  support 
me  if  I  appealed  to  them,  but  of  course  I  was  not 
going  to  do  that  if  I  could  help  it.  I  think  he  was 
impressed  when  he  found  I  told  no  tales.  The  three 
children  all  told  tales  of  each  other  and  were  puzzled 
and  surprised  when  I  would  not  listen  to  them.  It 
was  Oscar  who  over-wound  my  watch  one  day  and 
broke  the  mainspring,  but  it  was  Trudi  who  told  me 
of  it  and  Arthur  who  told  his  father.  I  could  not 
break  them  of  the  habit  though  I  tried. 

"Oscar  did  spoil  your  watch,"  said  Trudi.  "I  saw 
it  in  his  hand  ...  so  wicked  has  he  become." 

"He  should  have  owned  up  himself,"  I  explained. 

"Not  such  a  fool,"  growled  Oscar,  who  felt  sore 


IRON   COUSINS  199 

in  spirit  and  in  body  for  his  father  had  chastised  him 
with  thoroughness  and  taken  his  pocket  money  to  have 
the  watch  repaired.  "You  would  have  done  as  Arthur 
did  and  you  I  cannot  beat.  But  next  time  I  get  Arthur 
alone  .  .  ." 

"In  that  case  I  shall  tell  Papa  again,"  said  Arthur. 

I  was  glad  when  Frau  Plessen  came  back,  bearing 
the  reins  of  authority  in  her  capable  hands  and  seeing 
even  as  she  entered  the  door  what  was  wrong  in  the 
passage.  Behind  her  came  Elsa  Mieding  and  then 
Herr  Plessen  and  the  boys  who  had  gone  to  the  station 
to  meet  the  travelers.  While  I  shook  hands  with 
Frau  Plessen  I  had  a  swift  first  impression  of  her 
niece  who  had  golden  hair  and  cheeks  like  apples.  I 
had  made  a  picture  to  myself  of  a  slender  simple 
creature,  a  fairy-like  figure,  lovely  to  look  at,  rather 
silent  perhaps,  adorable.  So  I  was  disappointed.  The 
golden  hair  and  the  rosy  cheeks  were  well  enough, 
but  they  went  with  one  of  those  unfortunate  figures 
so  common  in  Germany :  a  figure  that  contrives  to 
be  both  thick  and  angular,  narrow  in  the  chest,  high- 
shouldered,  large  boned  and  broad  across  the  hips. 
She  resembled  her  aunt  in  build  and  had  the  same  wide 
mouth  and  handsome  teeth  that  showed  too  much  gum 
when  she  talked  and  smiled.  And  before  I  knew  her 
five  minutes  I  knew  that  she  was  going  to  talk  and 
smile  a  great  deal.  She  stared  hard  at  me  when  I  was 
presented  to  her  but  after  that  ignored  me  while  she 
made  much  of  the  children  and  said  it  was  heavenly 
to  be  in  Hamburg  again.  She  decided  that  Arthur 
and  Trudi  had  grown  while  they  were  ill  but  looked 
pale  and  thin,  and  she  told  them  that  she  had  longed 
to  come  and  nurse  them  but  had  not  been  allowed. 


200  IRON   COUSINS 

"Sallee  nursed  us,"  said  Trudi. 

"In  the  day  and  in  the  night,"  said  Arthur. 

"Ach  so!"  said  Fraulein  Mieding  when  she  had 
asked  who  Sallee  was  and  had  me  pointed  out  to  her. 
Meanwhile  Frau  Plessen  had  thanked  me  coolly  but 
sufficiently  for  doing  my  duty  by  the  children  and 
presented  me  with  a  dozen  linen  handkerchiefs  of  the 
largest  size  and  nearly  as  thick  as  sheets.  I  felt 
Elsa's  eye  on  me  as  I  received  them  and  I  noticed 
that  her  own  was  fine  and  small.  Altogether  her 
clothes  looked  as  if  she  spent  a  good  deal  on  them, 
and  I  was  not  surprised  when  the  children  told  me 
that  she  had  been  at  school  in  Berlin.  No  doubt  she 
did  her  shopping  there,  too.  As  we  all  sat  at  tea  to- 
gether in  the  dining-room  she  talked  incessantly,  in- 
terlarding her  remarks  so  often  with  Hebe  Tante  and 
lieber  Onkel  that  I  wearied  of  this  mode  of  address. 
Her  laugh  was  artificial  and  so  was  her  manner,  and 
she  was  self-satisfied  but  not  ill  natured.  She  evidently 
considered  herself  very  modern.  In  fact,  she  said  as 
much.  And  she  owned  to  having  seen  plays  and  read 
books  in  Berlin  that  Frau  Plessen  said  were  not  fit 
for  young  girls. 

"But  they  were  highly  interesting,"  said  the  young 
lady.  "Liebe  Tante,  you  have  such  quaint  ideas.  I 
suppose  you  think  that  when  a  young  girl  of  to-day 
reads  or  goes  to  the  theater  she  wants  something 
pretty  and  pleasant." 

"I  hope  so,"  said  Frau  Plessen. 

"But,  Hebe  Tante,  it  is  not  so,  I  assure  you.  One 
must  face  facts.  The  pretty  and  the  pleasant  I  find 
simply  boring.  I  must  shudder  or  I  am  not  enter- 
tained." 


IRON    COUSINS  201 

"Pfui!"  said  Frau  Plessen,  and  looked  at  me.  I 
laughed.  I  could  not  help  it.  I  had  heard  Isabella 
David  talk  just  like  that  in  her  salad  days. 

"If  you  please  .  .  ."  Elsa  said  to  me,  and  her  voice 
was  offended.  But  the  children  made  some  diversion 
and  I  did  not  try  to  explain. 


XXVII 

I'VE  been  beating  about  the  bush  I  know.  I've 
told  you  about  the  scarlet  fever  and  about  the 
children  and  chocolates  and  about  the  arrival  of 
Elsa  Mieding,  but  I've  not  told  you  much  about  what 
a  girl  like  me  feels  like  when  the  proposal  of  mar- 
riage she  has  expected  with  a  happy  mind  turns  to 
a  proposal  of  dishonor.  After  all  if  I  did  tell  you 
it  might  not  interest  you.  When  I  think  back  of  it 
I  wonder  that  I  stayed  on  with  the  Plessens.  I  sup- 
pose I  ought  to  have  told  Herr  Heiling  in  burning 
language  what  I  thought  of  him  and  shaken  the  dust 
of  Hamburg  off  my  feet.  But  the  scarlet  fever  in- 
tervened and  at  the  time  seeemed  more  important  than 
my  outraged  feelings.  While  I  nursed  the  children 
I  tried  to  whistle  Herr  Heiling  to  the  winds  and  I 
wish  I  could  say  that  I  succeeded.  But  if  you  want 
the  truth  and  nothing  but  the  truth  I  did  not  alto- 
gether. I  was  never  in  any  danger  of  listening  to 
him.  Never  for  a  moment.  The  idea  seemed  to  me 
ridiculous  rather  than  alluring.  I'm  not  the  stuff 
tragedy  is  made  of,  or  perhaps  I  should  say  the  cir- 
cumstances of  the  case  did  not  make  tragedy  inevitable. 
If  he  had  asked  me  to  marry  him  I  should  have  be- 
come his  wife.  As  he  had  ideas  I  could  not  entertain 
we  broke  off  relations  suddenly  and  completely.  But 
you  can't  be  ready  to  marry  a  man  one  day  and 

203 


IRON   COUSINS  203 

indifferent  to  him  the  next  even  if  he  has  disappointed 
you  and  made  you  furiously  angry.  My  anger  is 
not  the  kind  that  strengthens  with  time.  Without 
fresh  fuel  it  dies  out  unheroically.  Besides,  I  had 
various  aspects  of  my  adventure  to  consider  and  re- 
member. There  had  been  something  between  us  that 
was  not  a  matter  for  offense:  the  gradual  kindling 
and  discovery  of  love,  the  call  that  youth  makes  to 
youth  when  it  is  attracted.  I  wondered  why  he  did 
not  take  his  stand  on  his  affection  for  me  and  tell 
his  parents  like  a  man  that  he  would  have  me  and 
no  other.  I  would  have  faced  their  anger  for  his 
sake ;  but  apparently  he  could  not  do  it  for  mine.  That 
thought  made  me  miserable  enough  when  I  allowed 
myself  to  dwell  on  it.  I  don't  suggest  that  I  ate  my 
heart  out  all  through  the  winter,  but  I  admit  that  I 
was  restless  and  unhappy;  and  I  discovered  almost 
immediately  that  Elsa  Mieding's  presence  in  the 
family  was  not  going  to  make  me  any  happier.  From 
the  first  moment  they  met  she  set  her  cap  at  Caspar 
evidently  with  the  full  approval  of  her  uncle  and 
aunt.  A  child  might  have  seen  that  she  had  been 
brought  to  Hamburg  to  make  a  match  of  it  and  that 
though  she  was  willing  he  hung  back.  She  talked  to 
him,  she  flattered  him,  she  teased  him,  she  tried  to 
have  little  quarrels  with  him  and  the  more  irresponsive 
she  found  him  the  more  she  persevered.  She  was  not 
either  clever  or  adaptable  and  I  soon  understood  why, 
in  spite  of  her  liveliness,  Arthur  called  her  langiveilig. 
At  the  midday  dinner  when  I  mostly  saw  her  I  used 
to  long  for  her  tongue  to  stop ;  but  it  never  did.  Her 
opinions  on  all  subjects  were  cut  and  dried.  She  de- 
livered them  with  an  air  of  authority  that  would  have 
ruffled  an  archangel  and  in  everything  she  said 


204  IRON   COUSINS 

of  England  she  displayed  the  familiar  German  mixture 
of  ignorance  and  conceit.  Her  manner  to  me  was 
condescending  but  sufficiently  amiable.  She  always 
talked  English  to  me  and  said  she  was  glad  of  the 
opportunity  as  she  meant  to  go  to  England  some  day. 

"On  your  wedding  journey?"  suggested  her  uncle 
archly. 

"No,  lieber  Onkcl,  no.  On  my  wedding  journey  I 
shall  go  to  Italy.  That  stands  firm." 

"Where  will  you  go  when  you  marry  ?"  said  Trudi, 
addressing  Caspar. 

"Probably  to  India,"  said  Caspar. 

Trudi's  blue  eyes  opened  to  their  fullest  extent  and 
fixed  themselves  inquiringly  on  the  two  people  opposite 
her  at  table. 

"When  people  marry  do  they  not  travel  together?" 
she  asked. 

"As  a  rule  they  do,"  said  Caspar,  and  his  eyes  met 
mine  for  a  moment.  I  had  once  told  him  that  I  would 
rather  go  to  India  than  to  any  country  in  the  world 
because  I  wanted  to  see  the  place  where  my  father 
and  mother  had  lived  and  where  I  had  been  born.  Elsa 
cut  in  with  a  little  dissertation  on  British  rule  in 
India  as  taught  in  German  schools  and  said  that  she 
would  like  to  go  very  well  if  she  could  travel  where 
there  were  no  English.  I  never  took  up  the  cudgels 
for  my  country  when  she  said  anything  provocative 
because  it  did  not  seem  worth  while.  But  one  day 
I  did  find  myself  landed  in  a  discussion  over  a  per- 
formance of  "The  Merchant  of  Venice"  which  she 
said  was  superb  and  which  I  considered  objectionable. 
It  was  the  first  time  I  had  been  to  the  theater  in 
Hamburg.  The  Plessens  went  nearly  every  week,  but 
I  had  never  been  with  them,  and  this  time  the  place 


IRON   COUSINS  205 

was  only  offered  to  me  because  Herr  Plessen  said 
at  the  last  moment  that  his  dinner  had  disagreed  with 
him  and  he  wished  to  stay  at  home. 

"Take  Miss  Danvers  for  once,"  he  said  to  his  wife. 
"She  will  like  to  see  a  Shakespearean  play  in  German." 

"She  will  see  something  she  has  never  seen  before," 
said  Elsa,  and  turning  to  me  she  asked  me  if  I  had 
ever  read  "The  Merchant  of  Venice."  I  said  I  had 
never  read  it  in  German,  but  she  explained  that  she 
did  not  mean  that.  The  professor  of  Kulturgeschichte 
in  her  school  had  told  her  that  English  people  never 
read  Shakespeare  and  he  had  lived  in  England.  I 
said  "Really!"  and  went  to  the  theater  with  pictures 
of  Portia  and  Shylock  in  my  mind  that  were  derived 
partly  from  the  play  itself  and  partly  from  photo- 
graphs and  descriptions  of  Ellen  Terry  and  Irving. 
At  any  rate  it  was  a  shock  to  find  that  the  great  lady 
of  Belmont  giggled  like  a  schoolgirl,  sprawled  on  a 
sofa  and  kicked  up  her  heels.  The  Jew  acted  well 
but  without  romance.  He  was  a  stout  modern  huck- 
ster of  the  Ghetto,  often  twiddling  his  thumb  and 
fingers  in  the  way  Jews  do  in  Germany  when  they 
speak  of  money.  I  had  seen  Herr  Plessen  and  Caspar 
mimic  it  when  they  told  anecdotes  about  Jews.  The 
Trial  Scene  was  played  without  dignity  or  any  at- 
mosphere of  tragedy.  Portia  trotted  on  to  the  stage 
and  made  a  Knix  to  the  Duke  and  then  a  grimace  to 
the  audience;  while  in  the  fifth  act,  when  the  moon- 
light shines  on  Belmont,  the  lovers  desecrated  the  poetry 
on  their  lips  by  ogling  and  horseplay.  When  Portio 
said  "The  moon  sleeps  with  Endymion,"  she  kicked 
Lorenzo  and  winked  at  Nerissa.  I  felt  inclined  to 
say  "Pfui!"  like  Trudi,  but  I  did  not  have  to  speak 
at  all  as  Elsa  talked  for  everybody  between  the  acts 


206  IRON   COUSINS 

and  more  than  she  should  have  done  during  them. 
We  had  a  box  for  four  and  were  joined  by  Herr 
Heiling.  He  sat  in  front  and  I  sat  behind  with  Frau 
Plessen,  but  I  could  see  both  the  stage  and  the  house 
very  well  and  I  soon  discovered  that  the  Crefelds  sat 
opposite  us  with  Miss  Campbell  and  Gisela. 

"Absurd  to  bring  a  child  of  that  age  to  the  theater 
at  night,"  said  Frau  Plessen.  "Echt  jiidisch!" 

In  the  crush  as  we  went  out  I  found  myself  close 
to  them  and  so  I  spoke  to  Frau  Crefeld  for  the  first 
time  since  the  Sunday  I  had  spent  at  her  house.  She 
answered  me,  but  with  her  eyes  turned  away,  while 
Herr  Crefeld  did  not  see  me  at  all,  and  Miss  Campbell 
hardly  acknowledged  my  salutation.  I  drew  myself 
up  and  moved  away  from  them,  but  I  wished  I  had 
not  made  any  advances.  Still,  I  could  not  know  be- 
forehand that  they  were  going  to  behave  uncivilly 
and  it  was  my  first  experience  of  the  kind.  I  think 
Frau  Plessen  must  have  noticed  something  for  she 
looked  at  me  in  an  odd  way  when  I  joined  her  and 
asked  me  if  I  had  been  invited  to  the  Crefelds  again. 
I  said  I  had  not 

"Perhaps  they  are  still  afraid  of  scarlet!"  she  sug- 
gested. 

I  had  half  a  mind  to  tell  her  what  had  happened, 
but  I  could  not  do  so  just  then ;  and  when  I  thought  it 
over  I  saw  that  a  semi-confession  would  be  beset  with 
difficulties.  When  we  got  home  I  thanked  her  for 
taking  me  to  the  theater  and  said  with  truth  that  I 
had  enjoyed  myself.  I  had  very  much.  But  next 
day  when  Elsa  went  into  rhapsodies  about  the  art 
and  subtlety  of  the  performance  her  uncle  and  aunt 
were  not  present,  but  only  Herr  Heiling.  They  had 
come  into  the  dining-room  where  I  was  with  the 


IRON   COUSINS  207 

children  and  remained  there  talking  and  laughing  to- 
gether. I  did  not  join  in  at  first;  in  fact,  not  till  I 
lost  my  temper  because  Elsa  talked  such  nonsense. 
I  did  not  mind  her  saying  that  Shakespeare  sounded 
better  in  German  than  in  English  because  Germans 
always  say  that  and  probably  he  does  to  them.  Let 
them  have  him  in  German.  But  when  she  asked  me 
right  out  whether  Fraulein  So  and  So's  rendering  of 
Portia  was  not  soul  shaking  and  superb  I  replied  it 
was  not. 

"Why  not?    What  do  you  mean?" 

"She  giggled  and  kicked  up  her  heels.  She  turned 
the  trial  scene  to  farce.  In  the  last  act  she  behaved 
like  a  barmaid." 

"Perhaps  the  German  conception  of  the  play  is 
different  from  the  English." 

"Evidently." 

She  looked  so  naively  surprised  and  offended  that 
I  hastened  to  talk  of  something  else  because  I  knew 
by  this  time  how  touchy  most  Germans  are  and,  if 
you  want  a  quiet  life,  how  necessary  it  is  not  to  let  them 
fall  foul  of  everything  in  your  country  and  rhapsodize 
about  everything  in  their  own.  Therefore  I  began  to 
talk  about  Christmas  and  I  said  I  looked  forward  to 
spending  it  in  Germany. 

"It  is  only  in  Germany  that  Christmas  is  celebrated," 
said  Elsa,  snappishly.  "In  other  countries  people  eat 
and  drink,  but  they  have  no  consecrated  joy,  no  poetry, 
no  family  feast." 

"We  have  brown  cakes  and  honey  cakes  and 
Kringeln  and  marzipan,"  said  Olga  joining  in.  "All 
the  year  I  look  forward  to  these  things." 

"What  have  you  embroidered  for  your  parents?" 
asked  Elsa,  and  found  to  her  unconcealed  surprise 


208  IRON   COUSINS 

that  both  the  little  girls  had  presents  for  their  parents 
manufactured  with  my  assistance  and  not  to  be  shown 
to  anyone  till  Christmas  came. 

While  these  small  amenities  passed  amongst  us 
Caspar  sat  silent  and  smoked  a  cigar.  Sometimes  his 
eyes  were  on  me ;  sometimes  he  seemed  to  see  nothing 
and  to  be  sunk  in  thought.  I  could  not  interpret  his 
manner  to  Elsa  yet  and  did  not  know  whether  he  was 
on  the  whole  rejecting  her  addresses  or  responding 
to  them.  They  were  a  great  deal  together  and  I  was 
rarely  with  them.  He  had  almost  given  up  coming 
to  the  midday  dinner  and  days  passed  when  I  did  not 
set  eyes  on  him,  but  only  heard  of  meetings  and 
pleasure  parties  in  which  I  took  no  part.  Yet,  when 
the  little  girls  took  Elsa  away  with  them  for  a  moment 
to  inspect  their  hidden  Christmas  treasures  he  got  up 
at  once  and  sidled  across  the  room  to  me.  The  boys 
at  the  other  end  were  absorbed  in  a  game  of  draughts 
and  paid  no  attention  to  us. 

"How  goes  it  with  you?"  he  said  in  an  undertone. 

"Very  well." 

"Then  you  have  no  heart.     I  suffer  terribly." 

"You  hide  it." 

"Not  always.  I  believe  my  uncle  and  aunt  suspect 
something.  They  stopped  my  coming  to  dinner  every 
day  .  .  ." 

This  was  news  to  me  and  I  looked  up  in  surprise. 

"Didn't  you  know?  Don't  you  see  that  we  are 
not  allowed  to  meet  or  even  to  speak  to  each  other?" 

I  was  silent.  It  crossed  my  mind  that  if  we  did 
meet  we  should  have  nothing  to  say  that  had  not  been 
said  already. 

"Have  you  a  heart,  Sallee?    Sometimes  I  doubt  it." 


IRON   COUSINS  209 

I  dare  say  the  indignation  I  felt  flared  in  my  face 
as  I  moved  away  from  him. 

"Don't  go  away,"  he  said,  coming  after  me.  "I  was 
just  behind  you  yesterday  when  you  spoke  to  Frau 
Crefeld.  I  saw  how  unfriendly  she  was.  Has  that 
Teufelsweib  made  mischief?" 

"I  dare  say." 

"What  will  you  do?" 

"Nothing.     What  can  I  do?" 

"Tell  them  the  truth.     She  has  probably  told  lies." 

I  had  no  further  chance  of  discussion  because  Elsa 
came  back  and  looked  at  us  suspiciously.  I  could 
hardly  be  surprised  at  that  for  I  felt  that  my  cheeks 
were  hot  and  I  saw  that  Caspar's  manner  did  not  in- 
stantly revert  to  one  of  correct  indifference. 

"Very  nice  little  things  they  have  made,"  she  said 
to  me.  "Did  you  learn  them  when  you  were  trained 
as  a  teacher?" 

"I  have  not  been  trained  as  a  teacher,"  I  told  her. 

"Then  how  can  you  teach  ?" 

I  assured  her  modestly  that  I  could  not  teach  and 
she  said  she  had  guessed  as  much  when  she  heard 
me  giving  the  children  a  lesson. 

"But  the  children  are  learning  English  very 
quickly,"  said  Caspar. 

The  game  of  draughts  being  over  and  the  board 
shut  Arthur  came  forward  and  explained  matters. 

"We  have  to  learn  English,"  he  said.  "We  could 
otherwise  not  talk  as  much  as  we  wish  to  Sallee.  She 
is  very  stupid  about  German.  We  have  no  patience 
with  her  when  she  tries  to  speak  it  and  we  laugh.  If 
you  want  to  laugh  you  must  hear  Sallee  speak 
German." 


XXVIII 

1SAW  Caspar's  parents  for  the  first  time  on 
Christmas  Eve  when  they  came  to  the  Beschee- 
rung:  the  distribution  of  Christmas  presents  and 
the  lighted  tree.  Everyone  who  was  related  to  the 
Plessens  or  intimate  with  them  came,  too,  and  the  big 
room  in  which  the  presents  were  set  out  on  tables 
was  crowded.  Germans  do  not  hang  presents  on  the 
tree  as  we  do  nor,  as  far  as  I  know,  do  they  strip 
it.  Frau  Plessen's  tree  touched  the  ceiling  of  an 
unusually  high  room.  It  was  huge  in  girth  and  had 
the  straight  stiff  branches  a  Christmas  tree  should 
have  to  look  right.  It  was  covered  with  some  kind 
of  white  silvery  powder  and  hung  with  little  colored 
fruits  and  sugar  toys  and  lighted  with  colored  candles. 
I  loved  it  because  it  made  me  think  of  the  tree  in 
Hans  Andersen's  story  and  of  the  depths  of  the 
German  forest  where  it  had  slowly  grown  to  its 
present  size.  It  stood  in  splendor  at  one  end  of  the 
room  and  beyond  it  I  saw  the  twinkling  lights  of  the 
Alster,  and  if  I  went  close  to  the  window,  the  falling 
snow.  On  the  other  side  of  the  tree  the  scene  was 
one  of  hilarity  and  movement.  The  children  were 
wildly  excited,  Herr  Plessen  looked  ruminative  but 
beaming,  Frau  Plessen's  authoritative  voice  made  it- 
self heard  at  critical  moments,  Fraulein  Popper 
slopped  over  in  thanks  for  a  length  of  black  silk  for 


IRON   COUSINS  211 

a  dress  but  murmured  to  someone  in  my  hearing  that 
she  would  rather  have  had  a  new  muff.  Elsa  was 
in  ecstasies  over  everything  on  her  table  and  Caspar 
thanked  her  for  a  pair  of  braces  that  she  had  em- 
broidered for  him  with  her  own  hands.  At  least  she 
told  him  so,  but  I  had  never  seen  them  in  her  hands 
and  she  had  only  been  in  Hamburg  three  weeks.  Per- 
haps she  sat  up  at  nights. 

"Promise  me  that  you  will  always  wear  them,"  she 
said  to  him. 

"But  of  course  I  shall  wear  them." 

"From  to-morrow?" 

"I'll  go  and  put  them  on  at  once  if  you  like." 

It  was  unfortunate,  but  I  stood  near  and  could  not 
help  hearing  the  overcharged  sentiment  in  her  tone 
and  the  ridicule  in  his;  and  she  knew  that  I  heard 
and  took  umbrage.  She  walked  away,  tossing  her 
head,  and  in  a  pettish  voice  designed  to  reach  me 
said  something  to  his  mother  about  the  Englanderin. 

Caspar's  mother,  the  Frau  Comnierzienrath,  was 
one  of  those  enormous  women  to  be  met  once  in  a 
lifetime  in  England  and  at  every  street  corner  in 
Germany.  I  did  not  wonder  when  I  saw  her,  that 
she  hardly  ever  came  to  the  Jungfcrnstieg.  "She 
suffers  from  the  heat,"  I  had  been  told.  "She  cannot 
mount  our  stairs."  I  should  have  said  to  look  at 
her,  that  she  had  over-eaten  herself  at  every  meal 
since  the  day  she  was  born  and  had  never  taken  any 
exercise.  Her  small  shrewd  eyes  were  sunk  in  her 
red  fleshy  face.  She  had  a  double  chin,  her  cheeks 
were  baggy;  she  sat  in  one  chair,  immovable  and 
benevolently  smiling.  She  wore  a  handsome  plum- 
colored  velvet  dress,  costly  lace  and  some  magnificent 


212  IRON   COUSINS 

diamonds.  Not  many.  To  wear  many  diamonds 
would  have  been  considered  "jiidisch"  and  was  not 
the  thing  in  Hamburg.  She  had  made  much  of  Elsa 
all  the  evening,  called  her  her  licbe  Gor  which  is  low 
German  for  "dear  girl"  and  used  humorously  by  the 
educated,  while  Elsa  returned  again  and  again  to  the 
chair  where  the  Fran  C  ommcrsienrath  sat  enthroned, 
now  to  effuse  over  the  presents  she  had  received  and 
now  to  crack  some  joke  with  her  over  the  little  events 
of  the  evening.  The  Hcrr  Commerzicnrath  was  a 
largely  made  man  with  an  ugly  heavy  neck  that  was 
square  with  his  head  at  the  back,  and  red.  He  had 
a  low,  scowling  brow,  hard  eyes  and  a  merciless  jaw. 
You  could  imagine  him  getting  the  best  of  his  bar- 
gains by  fair  means  or  foul,  but  I  could  not  imagine 
his  light-hearted  son  in  conflict  with  him.  The  wonder 
was  that  anyone  under  his  heel  should  be  cheerful 
and  light-hearted.  I  had  been  presented  to  these 
people  when  they  arrived  and  the  woman  had  spoken 
civilly  and  said  something  about  my  having  nursed  the 
children  through  their  illness.  The  man  had  more  or 
less  turned  his  back  on  me.  He  had  boorish  manners. 
I  could  not  spend  the  evening  between  the  tree  and 
the  window  as  I  should  have  liked  to  do.  When  we 
first  went  into  the  room  we  all  moved  about  looking 
at  our  own  presents  and  at  each  other's.  There  were 
five  small  tables  for  the  family  and  one  long  one  for 
their  friends,  and  every  table  had  a  white  cloth  to 
show  up  the  gifts  on  it.  I  was  quite  taken  aback 
by  mine:  a  handsome  stole  and  muff  of  astrakhan  cloth 
lined  with  silk,  gloves,  scent,  sweets,  books  from  the 
children  and  in  an  envelope  a  hundred  marks.  Every- 
one was  running  here  and  there  thanking  everyone 


IRON    COUSINS  213 

else,  chattering,  smiling,  exclaiming  that  their  heart's 
desire  was  satisfied.  I  had  to  wait  for  a  chance  of 
getting  near  enough  to  the  Plessens  to  speak  to  them 
and  as  I  waited  I  found  Caspar  at  my  elbow.  The 
little  girls  who  had  discovered  my  corner  of  the  long 
table  before  I  did  had  insisted  on  putting  the  stole 
round  my  neck  and  the  muff  in  my  hands  to  judge 
how  they  suited  me;  and  I  could  see  in  Caspar's  eyes 
that  they  suited  me  well.  But  his  eyes  were  clouded 
to-night. 

"Na  Frdulein,  you  have  luck!"  croaked  old  Frau- 
lein  Popper,  ambling  up  to  me  and  glancing  suspi- 
ciously from  me  to  Caspar.  "Such  furs  I  am  sure 
you  have  never  possessed  before." 

I  made  some  civil  nondescript  remark  and  edged  a 
little  nearer  to  Frau  Plessen,  but  I  was  not  to  escape 
so  easily.  The  old  witch  had  been  handling  the  long 
ends  of  my  stole  and  she  now  burst  into  a  screech 
of  derisive  laughter. 

"But  it  is  not  fur  at  all!  It  is  only  cloth!  He! 
he !  he !  Never  mind.  To-morrow  is  also  a  day,  and 
perhaps  to-morrow  .  .  .  when  one  is  young  and 
prettily  grown  strange  things  happen  .  .  ." 

She  leered  at  Caspar  and  he  glowered  at  her.  Elsa 
listened  and  stared  sulkily.  Frau  Plessen  pricked  up 
her  ears  and  the  Herr  C omnierzienrath  turned  his 
hard  glance  on  me  and  seemed  to  be  aware  of  my 
existence  for  the  first  time. 

"Nanu"  said  Herr  Plessen  good-humoredly,  "if 
Miss  Danvers  is  pleased  .  .  ." 

"I  am,"  I  cried  so  hastily  and  fervently  that  people 
near  laughed  and  Frau  Plessen  relaxed  the  severity 
of  her  glance  as  I  took  her  hand. 


214  IRON   COUSINS 

"They  are  not  furs,"  she  said  with  a  note  of  apology 
in  her  tone,  "but  they  are  as  warm  and  very  becom- 
ing." 

"What  is  wanted  is  a  cap,"  said  Herr  Plessen,  "a 
cap  of  the  same  fur." 

"I  will  get  one,"  I  said,  and  thanked  them  both  for 
all  their  gifts.  Then  I  had  to  thank  Elsa  for  a  little 
calendar  she  had  given  me  and  the  four  children  for 
their  books,  and  everyone  thanked  me  for  my  gifts 
to  them.  You  can  imagine  what  a  hullabaloo  there 
was  in  the  room  with  all  of  us  talking  at  once  and 
looking  at  toys  and  clothes  and  trinkets  and  offering 
each  other  sweets  and  wondering  when  there  would 
be  skating  on  the  Alster.  The  only  restful  thing  was 
the  big  shining  tree  and  I  looked  up  at  it  when  I  could 
get  away  behind  it  for  a  moment  to  watch  the  snow. 
I  stood  there  with  my  stole  round  my  neck  and  my 
hands  in  the  pleasant  depths  of  my  new  big  muff 
when  Caspar  came  beside  me. 

"They  leave  me  no  peace,"  he  said  miserably. 
"They  want  me  to  marry  that  goose." 

I  had  known  it  and  yet  when  he  told  me  I  felt 
sick  at  heart  and  desolate.  His  behavior  ought  to 
have  struck  at  the  roots  of  my  affection  for  him,  and 
no  doubt  it  had.  But  not  quite  hard  enough.  He 
seemed  less  a  man  of  the  world  than  usual  to-night: 
of  the  Hamburg  world  that  is,  material,  prosperous 
and  self-satisfied.  He  looked  dreadfully  worried  and 
half-ashamed  of  himself.  Of  course  I  know  that  he 
ought  to  have  been  wholly  ashamed  of  himself,  but 
then  he  would  not  have  been  Caspar  Heiling. 

"Have  you  nothing  to  say?"  he  went  on  impa- 
tiently. "Don't  you  care  what  happens?" 


IRON   COUSINS  215 

•  I  turned  on  him  then. 

"Take  me  by  the  hand,"  I  said  in  a  low  indignant 
voice.  "Go  up  to  your  father  and  tell  him  you  mean 
to  marry  me.  Are  you  man  enough  for  that?" 

He  bit  his  mustache  in  the  way  he  had  when  he 
was  worried,  stared  at  me,  stared  away  from  me  and 
lost  color. 

"You  ask  impossibilities,"  he  said.  "Have  you  any 
idea  of  the  Krach  there  would  be  and  of  what  would 
follow?  I  should  probably  be  sent  off  to  China  .  .  . 
next  week  .  .  .  and  you  back  to  England  to-morrow." 

"I've  nothing  more  to  say,"  I  told  him,  and  if  I  had 
not  wished  to  behave  with  dignity  I  should  have  ad- 
vised him  to  go  and  put  on  his  embroidered  braces. 
It  was  quite  easy  for  me  to  slip  back  into  the  crowded 
room  by  my  side  of  the  tree  and  I  did  so  now  just 
in  time.  For  as  I  escaped  I  heard  Elsa's  voice  twit- 
ting Caspar  with  his  Hamlet-like  humor  and  asking 
him  if  he  had  hidden  himself  in  order  to  compose  a 
soliloquy.  In  some  ways  she  certainly  was  a  goose. 
She  had  not  the  sense  to  leave  the  young  man  alone 
or  pride  enough  to  resent  his  want  of  fervor.  The 
way  she  threw  herself  at  his  head  was  brazen  and 
shocked  me,  but  I  thought  that  if  the  marriage  ever 
came  off  she  would  hold  her  own.  Of  the  two  she 
had  more  force  of  character  and  she  knew  exactly 
what  she  wanted.  She  had  pussy-cat  ways  with  her 
elders  and  sentimental  ways  with  Caspar,  but  anyone 
could  see  that  underneath  she  was  as  hard  as  nails. 

When  I  got  back  into  the  room  the  fun  had  become 
fast  and  furious  because  a  figure  like  the  witch  in 
Hansel  and  Gretel  with  the  cracked  screeching  voice 
of  Fraulein  Popper  had  arrived  with  a  sock  full  of 


216  IRON    COUSINS 

parcels  which  she  was  throwing  here  and  there  to 
people  shouting  Yulklapp  with  each  one  and  getting  in 
response  a  shout  in  chorus  of  Yulklapp  accompanied 
by  laughter  and  cries  of  surprise  and  delight.  The 
most  important  presents  of  the  evening  seemed  to  be 
delivered  in  this  way  and  some  primitive  ingenuity 
had  been  shown  in  wrapping  them  up.  Frau  Plessen 
found  a  diamond  ring  in  a  parcel  big  enough  to  hold 
a  mummy,  and  Oscar's  first  watch  arrived  in  a  bit  of 
newspaper  as  if  it  was  of  no  account.  To  my  sur- 
prise a  small  soft  package  bearing  my  name  type- 
written was  hurled  at  me  across  the  room  and  when 
I  opened  it  I  found  an  astrakhan  cap,  or  rather  a 
small  close  hat.  The  little  girls  saw  me  open  the 
parcel  and  of  course  drew  public  attention  to  it. 

"Someone  has  sent  Sallee  a  fur  cap." 

"Who  has  sent  it,  Sallee?  Is  there  no  greeting  with 
it?  Let  me  see.  I  shall  surely  find  out  who  sent  it." 

"Try  it  on,  Sallee.  Here  is  my  new  hand-glass. 
Put  it  on.  It  clothes  you  well.  See,  Mamma,  what 
Sallee  has  become.  A  beautiful  fur  cap." 

Frau  Plessen  looked  at  it  on  my  head.  My  first 
idea  was  that  she  had  probably  bought  it  with  the 
stole  and  muff.  But  it  was  of  fur. 

"Real  astrakhan,"  she  said,  and  looked  far  from 
pleased. 

"Did  you  send  it,  Mutti?"  asked  Olga. 

"I  know  nothing  about  it,"  she  said,  and  turned  to 
some  other  guests  with  the  effect  of  turning  her  back 
on  the  cap  and  on  me. 

"But  who  can  have  sent  it?"  said  Olga. 

Trudi  and  Arthur  looked  at  each  and  began  to 
giggle. 


IRON   COUSINS  217 

"You  know  who  sent  it?"  cried  the  elder  girl. 

"We  know  but  we  shall  not  say." 

"To  me  you  may  say.  I  shall  tell  no  one.  X 
promise." 

"We  do  not  even  know.    We  only  guess." 

"Tell  me  what  you  guess." 

They  put  their  heads  together  and  giggled  again, 
and  I  heard  something  about  chocolates.  I  left  the 
cap  lying  on  the  table  when  at  the  end  of  the  evening 
I  gathered  up  the  things  that  had  been  given  to  me. 


XXIX 

BUT  I  was  not  to  get  rid  of  the  fur  cap  so  easily. 
Next  day  at  breakfast  Frau  Plessen  said  to  me 
in  a  tone  as  frozen  as  the  Alster : 

"You  left  one  of  your  presents  behind  last  night, 
Miss  Danvers." 

The  big  tree  still  stood  in  front  of  the  windows 
but  otherwise  the  room  was  in  apple-pie  order  again 
so  that  the  fur  cap,  hung  conspicuously  on  the  top  of 
an  empty  chair,  had  a  rakish  look  and  attracted  the 
eye.  It  was  impossible  to  pretend  not  to  know  which 
present  Frau  Plessen  meant.  The  cap  hit  me  in  the 
face  directly  I  came  in. 

"I  will  remove  it  after  breakfast,"  I  said. 

"Sallee  becomes  red,"  Arthur  informed  the  com- 
pany, and  I  could  feel  it  myself.  I  looked  across  the 
table  at  him  indignantly. 

"You  are  pale,"  I  said  hurrying  on  to  another  sub- 
ject. "You  probably  ate  too  many  sweets  last  night." 

But  he  was  busy  with  his  Semmel  and  butter  and 
did  not  answer  me.  There  was  a  silence  round  the 
table  that  the  business  of  breakfast  did  not  cover. 
Elsa  had  hardly  answered  my  good  morning  when  I 
came  in  and  she  looked  out  of  humor.  There  was  east 
wind  in  the  weather  I  felt,  although  her  lieber  Onkel 
and  her  lieber  Tante  were  addressed  ai  usual  with 
mellifluous  and  dutiful  sweetness. 

Herr  Plessen,  like  many  men,  was  happily  insensible 
218 


IRON   COUSINS  219 

to  small  changes  of  temperature  in  the  domestic  ba- 
rometer and  I  am  sure  that  he  did  not  know  anything 
was  wrong  when  he  looked  up  from  his  paper  and 
said: 

"Why  is  a  hat  hanging  on  a  dining-room  chair?" 
You  see  he  had  not  noticed  what  we  had  been  say- 
ing about  it,  but  when  his  gaze  lighted  on  it  he  was 
taken  aback.  Such  disorder  was  unprecedented  and 
enigmatic. 

"The  hat  belongs  to  Miss  Danvers,"  said  his  wife. 

"But  why  is  it  in  the  dining-room?" 

"I  left  it  here  last  night,"  I  explained.  "I  will  take 
it  away  after  breakfast  and  put  it  in  the  fire." 

"But  what  is  the  matter  with  the  hat?"  said  Herr 
Plessen  with  mild  surprise.  "Why  should  you  put 
a  good  hat  into  the  fire?  Don't  you  like  it?" 

"No,"  I  said.  The  two  ladies  were  watching  me, 
I  knew,  although  I  did  not  look  at  them  and  when  I 
said  I  would  burn  the  hat  the  little  girls  had  given  a 
low  cry  of  dismay. 

"Who  gave  it  to  you?"  asked  Herr  Plessen. 

"It  was  sent  to  me  anonymously.  I  shall  not 
wear  it." 

"Ach !  Sallee !"  moaned  Trudi.  "How  angry  then 
will  Caspar  be !  Surely  he  sent  it !" 

I  got  red  again  when  the  child  said  that,  and  Elsa 
glared  at  me  angrily,  while  Frau  Plessen's  firm  hands 
twitched  nervously  and  no  doubt  longed  to  box  my 
ears. 

"Go  on  with  your  breakfast,  Trudi,  and  talk  no  non- 
sense," she  commanded  sharply. 

"What  is  true  is  not  nonsense,"  argued  Trudi  ob- 
stinately. 


220  IRON    COUSINS 

"Do  you  want  a  box  on  the  ears?"  threatened  her 
mother. 

"But  Trudi  knows  what  she  says,"  put  in  Arthur. 
"She  was  there  when  Caspar  gave  Sophie  a  package 
for  a  Yulklapp!  Let  no  one  see  it,  he  said,  and  he 
gave  Sophie  twenty  marks.  He  did  not  notice  that 
Trudi  was  there  or  perhaps  he  thought  she  would 
not  understand.  But  when  he  had  gone  Sophie  opened 
the  parcel  and  tried  on  the  hat;  but  she  did  not  like 
herself  in  it.  She  says  her  own  is  more  modern." 

"I  find  that  Sallee  is  very  unfriendly  to  Caspar," 
sang  Trudi  in  her  meditative  treble.  That  child  was 
the  image  of  her  father.  She  ruminated  over  what 
she  had  to  say  and  then  she  said  it,  regardless  of  con- 
sequences. "When  we  had  scarlet  he  sent  her  an 
enormous  box  of  chocolates  and  she  would  not  open 
it.  Papa  knows  this." 

That  put  the  lid  on.  In  a  voice  no  one  dared  dis- 
regard the  family  autocrat  ordered  silence  and  a  few 
minutes  later  when  we  had  all  finished  our  rolls  and 
coffee  she  bundled  the  four  children  out  of  the  room. 

"Has  Caspar  been  paying  court  to  you,  as  he  does 
to  every  woman  passably  good-looking?"  she  asked 
me  bluntly. 

"There  is  nothing  between  us,"  I  answered  after  a 
moment's  consideration. 

"How  could  there  be  anything  between  you  except 
a  young  man's  nonsense?  I  hope  you  can  take  care 
of  yourself.  If  not  you  had  better  go  back  to  England 
to-morrow." 

"But  Ottilie,"  interrupted  Herr  Plessen,  "Miss 
Danvers  has  shown  herself  most  devoted.  She  has 


IRON   COUSINS  221 

just  nursed  our  children  through  a  tedious  ill- 
ness ..." 

"I  am  not  rinding  fault  with  Miss  Danvers.  I 
neither  forget  nor  exaggerate  what  she  has  done.  The 
children  had  scarlet  very  lightly  and  after  the  first 
fortnight  she  must  have  had  an  easy  time." 

"I  did,"  I  agreed. 

"I  will  give  that  hat  back  to  Caspar  myself,"  con- 
tinued Frau  Plessen. 

Elsa  was  sitting  there  with  a  frosty  face,  silent  and 
sullen.  But  her  silence  proved  to  be  of  the  kind  that 
precedes  a  storm,  for  she  suddenly  startled  us  all  by 
crying  out  in  an  angry  voice: 

"I  am  going  home.    To-day  I  am  going  home." 

We  stared  at  her. 

"I  will  not  stay  here  any  longer  to  be  made  a  fool 
of,"  she  added. 

I  got  up  and  went  out  of  the  room,  so  unfortunately, 
I  cannot  tell  you  what  passed  between  Elsa  and  her 
uncle  and  aunt.  However,  they  must  have  smoothed 
her  down,  because  she  did  not  go  home  but  met  me  in 
the  corridor  later  in  the  morning  dressed  to  the  nines 
with  a  triumph  and  light  in  her  eyes. 

"My  aunt  wishes  me  to  tell  you  that  we  shall  not 
be  in  to  dinner,"  she  said.  "The  children  are  to  have 
a  walk  this  morning  and  to  remain  quietly  at  home 
this  afternoon.  They  must  be  ready  by  four  o'clock 
to  go  to  the  Uhlenhorst." 

I  had  not  been  officially  told  that  I  was  to  accom- 
pany the  family  to  the  Christmas  party  at  the  Heil- 
ings,  but  I  had  taken  it  for  granted,  and  when  four 
o'clock  came  the  children  and  I  were  ready;  the  chil- 
dren bubbling  over  with  excitement  and  I  wondering 


222  IRON   COUSINS 

what  had  happened  about  the  fur  cap  and  where  Frau 
Plessen  had  been  with  Elsa.  They  had  come  back 
at  three  but  I  did  not  see  them  till  the  car  was  there 
to  take  the  party  to  the  Uhlenhorst.  Herr  Plessen  had 
gone  there  by  himself.  When  Frau  Plessen  saw  me 
she  said: 

"Are  you  going  out,  Miss  Danvers?  You  didn't 
tell  me." 

I  naturally  felt  rather  taken  aback  and  no  doubt  I 
showed  it. 

"You  are  not  invited  to  my  brother's  house,"  she 
said  pointedly. 

"Oh !  I'm  sorry,"  I  murmured,  feeling  like  a  fool. 
"I  somehow  thought  .  .  ." 

I  could  not  very  well  tell  her  that  as  the  Frau  Com- 
merzienrath  had  said  good-night  yesterday  she  had 
deigned  to  remind  me  that  I  was  expected  at  her  house 
to-morrow,  but  Trudi  had  no  such  scruples. 

"Sallee  is  invited,"  she  said  now.  "I  heard  Tante 
Olga  tell  her  that  she  was  expected." 

"Will  you  mind  your  own  business?"  screamed 
Frau  Plessen  stamping  her  foot  at  her,  and  they  de- 
parted without  me. 

It  was  Christmas  Day  and  before  long  I  was  alone 
in  the  flat,  for  the  maids  had  been  given  leave  to  go 
out.  I'm  afraid  I  can't  make  any  appeal  to  your 
compassion  and  tell  you  that  I  felt  lonely,  offended 
or  unhappy.  When  I  left  the  Melkstrasse  I  had  gone 
from  one  extreme  to  the  other.  There  I  was  lonely; 
here  I  sometimes  longed  to  be  alone.  So  when  every- 
one had  gone  I  drew  near  the  stove  with  "Ekkehardt" 
which  Oscar  had  given  me  for  Christmas  and  began 
to  read.  When  I  looked  up  I  saw  the  silvery  tree  and 


IRON   COUSINS  223 

the  twinkling  lights  on  the  Alster.  Inside  the  room 
it  was  warm  and  quiet  and  cozy.  Sophie  had  put  me 
some  supper  on  the  table  before  she  went  out,  and 
beside  me  on  a  chair  I  had  a  plate  of  cakes  and 
Kringeln  and  marzipan.  Some  of  the  cakes  were 
gingerbread,  some  were  honey  and  each  one  was  about 
six  inches  by  four  and  had  one  almond  in  the  middle. 
The  Kringeln  were  crisp  sugary  knots  like  figures  of 
eight  and  some  were  pink  and  some  white.  The 
marzipan  had  been  Arthur's  present  and  he  had  chosen 
imitation  vegetables  colored  to  resemble  carrots,  tur- 
nips and  potatoes.  I  liked  looking  at  these  things 
because  they  had  come  instead  of  holly,  turkey  and 
plum  pudding  to  remind  me  that  it  was  Christmas. 
I  wondered  how  Aunt  Susan  was  getting  on  in  Rome 
and  whether  we  should  be  in  Chelsea  together  next 
year.  I  decided  that  I  had  had  enough  of  Hamburg 
and  the  Plessens.  It  would  be  a  relief  to  get  away. 
There  was  a  little  ache  in  my  heart  when  I  thought 
of  Caspar,  but  only  a  little  one.  I  had  ceased  to  take 
him  seriously.  There  had  been  a  flickering  flame  of 
love  for  a  short  time  and  he  himself  had  put  it  out. 
Was  it  quite  out?  Could  it  be  fanned  into  a  fire 
again?  The  fire  that  burns  steadily  and  cheerfully  on 
the  hearth  lending  life  its  glow  through  youth  to 
age  ?  I  mused  and  wondered  but  I  remained  calm. 

The  telephone  bell  roused  me  and  I  went  to  answer 
it.  Who  was  there?  Herr  Plessen  was  there.  It 
had  been  a  mistake.  The  Heilings  expected  me  and 
the  car  was  on  its  way  back  to  fetch  me.  Would  I 
be  ready  in  five  minutes?  I  said  I  would  and  only 
half  willingly  put  on  my  fur  coat.  Then  the  door- 


224  IRON   COUSINS 

bell  rang  and  when  I  answered  it  Oscar  and  Arthur 
greeted  me. 

"We  have  come  for  you,"  they  said. 

"But  why?  I  should  have  been  all  right  in  the 
car." 

"We  both  prefer  the  car  to  the  party.  It  is  a  dull 
party.  After  yesterday  everyone  is  tired  and  one 
can  never  eat  enough  to  please  Aunt  Olga.  Always 
she  sings  'A  little  more'  and  heaps  up  one's  plate 
until  one  feels  sick." 

"And  so  at  last  Arthur  said  'Because  we  are  boys 
we  are  still  not  pigs,'  and  then  there  was  Krach," 
narrated  Oscar.  "Mamma  boxed  his  ears  and  Aunt 
Olga  cried  and  we  came  away.  It  is  a  dull  party  and 
at  the  Uhlenhorst,  I  tell  you,  there  is  always  Krach. 
Last  time  we  cut  the  billiard  table/  ' 

"Caspar  and  Elsa  are  verlobt,"  said  Arthur  in  a 
matter  of  fact  voice.  "They  sit  next  to  each  other 
and  hold  each  other's  hands.  When  she  looks  at  them 
Aunt  Olga  cries.  She  only  cried  a  little  more  when 
I  made  her  a  Grobheit,  and  Mamma  boxed  my  ears 
because  it  is  the  second  day  of  Christmas  and  we 
all  have  nerves  and  are  tired.  If  it  had  not  been 
me  it  would  have  been  one  of  the  others.  I  wish  we 
could  stay  here  with  Sallee.  A  family  party  is  to 
me  a  Greuel." 

"I  wish  we  could  stay  here,"  I  said. 

"There  would  be  Krach,"  said  Oscar,  and  so  we 
set  out  for  the  Uhlenhorst  in  the  Heilings'  car. 


XXX 

THE  Heilings'  villa  on  the  Uhlenhorst  stood  in 
a  good-sized  garden  which  was  now  thickly 
carpeted  with  snow.  From  the  snow  queer- 
shaped  bundles  emerged  which  I  took  to  be  roses  in 
their  winter  wrappings.  The  house  itself  was  of  the 
florid  style  of  architecture  that  Germans  love,  but 
roomy  and  comfortable  inside.  We  found  about 
twenty  people  gathered  in  a  large  salon  where  there 
was  a  lighted  tree  and  a  display  of  presents,  while 
on  a  red  silk  divan  in  the  center  of  the  room  sat 
Elsa  in  white  with  Caspar  hovering  near  her.  When 
I  went  in  with  the  children  the  Frau  Commerzienrath 
received  me  civilly  and  presented  me  with  a  copy  of 
Uhland's  poems  saying  that  she  knew  I  was  a  great 
reader  and  liked  German  poetry.  I  thanked  her  and 
then  stood  about  the  room  with  the  children,  looking 
at  their  presents  and  at  other  people's.  At  least,  I 
tried  to  fix  their  attention  on  the  presents  but  the 
little  girls  were  much  more  interested  in  the  new 
Brautpaar  and  told  me  in  thrilled  whispers  the  whole 
romantic  story  of  the  day's  doings  as  they  understood 
them. 

"To-day  Mamma  and  Elsa  had  lunch  with  Caspar 
at  Bauer's  and  they  ate  oysters  and  drank  champagne ; 
and  after  lunch  Elsa  went  for  a  drive  with  Caspar 
in  the  automobile  and  when  they  came  back  they  were 
verlobt.  So  quick  was  it!  and  imagine  .  .  .  Elsa  did 
225 


226  IRON   COUSINS 

not  know  Caspar  was  in  love  with  her.  I  heard  her 
say  so  to  Aunt  Olga.  But  now  she  is  happy  and  soon 
they  will  be  married  and  we  shall  be  bridesmaids.  It 
is  a  promise." 

"Did  you  burn  the  fur  cap  ?"  said  Trudi,  fixing  her 
inquiring  gaze  on  me. 

"No,"  I  said.     "Your  mother  took  it." 

"Doubtless  she  returned  it  to  Caspar.  Perhaps  he 
will  now  present  it  to  Elsa." 

Trudi  heaved  a  deep  sigh  and  looked  as  if  her 
world  was  out  of  joint.  I  put  my  arm  round  her. 

"What's  the  matter,  Trudi  ?"  I  asked.    "Tired  ?" 

She  shook  her  head. 

"If  Caspar  had  married  you  you  would  have  stayed 
in  Hamburg,"  she  said.  "Now,  some  day  you  will 
go  away." 

"Yes,"  I  said,  thinking  mostly  of  myself  and  speak- 
ing cheerfully,  "I  shall  soon  go  away." 

To  my  horror  and  amazement  Trudi  burst  into  a 
storm  of  tears  that  attracted  the  attention  of  the  whole 
company  to  our  corner  of  the  room.  Frau  Plessen, 
who  had  taken  no  notice  of  me,  came  up  now  and 
asked  angrily  what  was  the  matter. 

"Sallee  will  go  away  from  us,"  sobbed  the  child. 
"She  says  she  will  go  away." 

"Not  yet,  Trudi,"  I  said,  trying  to  comfort  her, 
"not  for  a  long  time." 

Frau  Plessen  looked  at  me  oddly.  There  was  a 
silence  in  the  room  only  broken  irregularly  by  Trudi's 
sobs.  For  the  first  time  since  I  had  arrived  Caspar 
seemed  to  recognize  my  presence.  He  and  Elsa  had 
walked  towards  us  at  the  sound  of  Trudi's  pre- 
liminary howl  and  had  stayed  to  hear  her  explanation. 


IRON   COUSINS  227 

And  now  Caspar,  in  his  most  brisk  man-of -the- world 
manner,  said  "How  d'ye  do"  to  me  and  made  some 
joke  about  my  having  perhaps  pinched  Trudi  and 
caused  her  to  cry. 

"Sallee  does  not  pinch,"  said  Trudi,  her  tears  drying 
up  suddenly  as  children's  tears  will.  "I  cry  because 
Sallee  says  she  will  leave  us." 

There  was  another  moment  of  tense  silence  during 
which  Caspar  looked  at  me  much  as  his  aunt  had 
done,  interpreting  what  Trudi  said  no  doubt  in  the 
light  of  recent  events,  while  Elsa  with  a  little  giggle 
and  modestly  downcast  eyelids  murmured : 

"Miss  Danvers  has  not  heard  about  us  yet,  Caspar. 
Otherwise  she  would  have  offered  us  her  congratula- 
tions." 

Then  she  raised  her  eyelids  and  looked  me  full  in 
the  face;  and  if  ever  a  woman  wished  she  had  the 
voice  of  a  cock  and  could  crow  Elsa  Mieding  did  at 
that  moment. 

"Of  course  Sallee  knows,"  put  in  Trudi.  "The 
boys  told  her  when  they  fetched  her  in  the  car." 

I  dashed  in  then  with  my  congratulations  for 
there  was  no  knowing  what  Trudi  would  say  next, 
but  I  had  soon  finished  and  so  had  the  bridal  pair. 
Trudi  being  wound  up  began  again,  she  fixed  her 
round  innocent  blue  eyes  on  Caspar  and  said  in  a 
penetrating  voice: 

"What  have  you  done  with  the  fur  cap  that  Sallee 
sent  back  to  you?  Have  you  given  it  to  Elsa?" 

Frau  Plessen  took  matters  in  hand  then.  She  shook 
Trudi  violently  and  Trudi  set  up  a  piercing  howl 
again. 

"Take  her  out  of  the  room,"  said  her  mother  to 


228  IRON   COUSINS 

me  with  a  disagreeable  rasp  in  her  voice,  and  we 
escaped  together  to  the  hall,  where  I  soon  comforted 
the  child.  But  she  had  an  inquiring  mind  and  a  hatred 
of  injustice  that  often  made  life  puzzling  and  difficult. 

"Caspar  did  send  you  the  cap  and  you  did  say  you 
would  not  wear  it,"  she  crooned.  "Perhaps  he  thought 
you  would  be  his  Braut  and  not  Elsa.  I  wish  it  was 
so.  I  like  Elsa  very  well  but  I  like  you  better.  There 
is  Caspar.  Caspar,  why  do  you  not  go  and  live  in 
Turkey?  I  would  come  too  when  I  was  old  enough. 
I  love  you  and  I  love  Sallee  and  I  can  bear  with 
Elsa.  But  Elsa  can  be  langweillg.  She  preaches  too 
much." 

"Why  should  I  go  to  Turkey  ?  What  does  the  child 
mean?"  said  Caspar,  informing  us  first  that  we  were 
expected  to  join  the  others  in  the  dining-room  and 
partake  of  chocolate  and  cakes. 

"In  Turkey  a  man  may  have  several  brides,"  ex- 
plained Trudi.  "I  have  learnt  it  at  school.  It  is  true. 
You  could  take  Elsa  and  Sallee  and  me,  too.  De- 
cidedly I  would  come,  too.  Think  of  it,  Caspar.  It 
would  be  heavenly." 

"Heidenwirtshaft!"  said  Caspar,  avoiding  my  eyes. 
"Geht  nicht  Kind!  We  are  Germans!  Come.  The 
chocolate  is  getting  cold."  But  as  we  walked  across 
the  hall  together  Trudi  ran  on  ahead  to  open  the  door 
and  he  found  time  to  say  to  me  in  an  angry  under- 
tone: 

"I  thank  you  humbly  for  the  basket." 

"What  basket?"  I  said  quickly.  I  could  not  think 
what  he  meant  for  a  moment. 

"The  fur  cap  then,  that  you  returned  to  me  by  my 
aunt." 

"You  should  not  have  sent  it" 


IRON   COUSINS  229 

"You  need  not  have  forced  my  hand.  I  had  a  fear- 
ful scene  with  my  aunt.  In  the  end  I  gave  way.  I 
want  my  peace.  And  a  basket  is  a  basket." 

I  waited  till  I  got  home  and  then  I  took  down  my 
fat  German  dictionary  and  found  that  the  colloquial 
meaning  of  basket  was  "the  mitten,  the  sack  or  the 
bag." 

About  a  week  later  the  Alster  was  safe  for  skating  and 
on  the  ice  I  met  Miss  Campbell  who  came  up  to  me  as  if 
nothing  had  happened  to  part  us  and  without  any  pre- 
amble began  to  talk  about  Caspar's  engagement  to  Elsa. 

"It  has  been  a  nine  days'  wonder,"  she  said,  her 
beady  eyes  fixed  on  mine  intently.  "No  one  thought 
he  would  settle  down  yet.  I,  least  of  all." 

"Fraulein  Mieding  is  very  attractive,"  I  murmured. 

"She  has  a  fine  color  and  a  good  head  of  hair,  but 
she  is  not  hilbsch  gezvachsen.  Her  figure  is  clumsy. 
Is  it  true  that  she  has  half  a  million?" 

"I  have  no  idea  what  she  has.  I  should  think  it 
unlikely." 

"Of  course  I  am  talking  of  marks.  Twenty-five 
thousand  is  nothing.  Still  for  people  in  modest  cir- 
cumstances it  is  enough.  The  Heilings  are  not  really 
rich  people.  Just  comfortable  and  the  young  man 
has  expensive  tastes.  He  could  not  have  married  a 
girl  without  money." 

"Well!  He  isn't  going  to,"  I  said,  trying  to  skate 
away  from  Miss  Campbell.  But  the  ice  was  rough 
where  we  were  and  I  was  a  poor  performer.  She 
kept  up  with  me  easily. 

"Are  you  staying  on  with  the  Plessens  ?"  she  asked. 

"I  suppose  so,  for  the  present." 

"I  thought  perhaps  .  .  ." 

She  did  not  finish  and  I  did  not  help  her  out.     It 


230  IRON   COUSINS 

was  a  gay  scene  on  the  ice  and  I  was  enjoying  myself 
in  spite  of  my  presumably  broken  heart  and  the  irrita- 
tion of  a  human  mosquito  beside  me.  The  sun  was 
shining,  the  whole  city  seemed  to  be  out  of  doors, 
booths  had  come  like  mushrooms  in  the  night  and  all 
sorts  and  conditions  of  men  were  skating,  promena- 
ding, laughing  and  trafficking  together  here.  Ahead  of 
me  were  the  four  children,  hand  in  hand,  and  a  little 
further  on  I  saw  Herr  Plessen  lumbering  along  beside 
his  Ottilie  who  skated  well  in  a  dull  straightforward 
way.  The  lovers  had  disappeared. 

"What  does  a  man  mean  when  he  says  you  have 
given  him  a  basket?"  I  asked  Miss  Campbell. 

"Don't  you  know  that  yet?  But  it  is  an  expression 
in  constant  use.  A  woman  gives  a  man  a  basket  when 
she  refuses  him." 

"But  why  a  basket?" 

'That  I  cannot  tell  you.  It  is  an  expression  like 
any  other.  When  you  dismiss  a  man  you  give  him 
a  basket." 

"I  suppose  it  is  metaphorical.  It  needn't  really  be 
a  basket?" 

"It  never  is  anything.    Your  refusal  is  the  basket." 

"But  it  might  be  something.  If,  for  instance,  a 
man  sent  you  a  present  .  .  ." 

"It  would  never  come  to  that  with  me,"  said  Miss 
Campbell  frostily.  "I  have  too  much  self-respect  to 
allow  any  man  a  liberty." 

I  sighed.  She  put  me  in  the  wrong  terribly  and 
no  one  enjoys  being  put  in  the  wrong. 

"When  a  woman  is  refused  or  jilted  by  a  man  the 
Germans  say  she  has  remained  sitting,"  said  Miss 
Campbell.  "Sie  ist  sitzen  geblicben." 


IRON   COUSINS  231 

"It  sounds  as  if  she  was  a  hen,"  I  said. 

"Not  at  all.  It  has  nothing  to  do  with  hens.  It 
means  that  she  is  left." 

"I  see." 

"It  must  be  a  disagreeable  experience." 

"Horrid,  I  should  think." 

"So  mortifying." 

"Ye — es,  unless  the  victim  got  over  it." 

"She  would  naturally  pretend  to  .  .  ." 

I  didn't  see  why  I  should  stay  there  and  have  pins 
stuck  into  me  as  if  I  was  a  wax  figure  and  she  a 
medieval  witch. 

"I  think  I  must  join  the  children  now/'  I  said.  "So 
long." 

"Good-morning,"  said  Miss  Campbell,  pursing  her 
lips  at  the  vulgarity  of  my  adieu.  I  knew  it  would 
upset  her. 

But  I  was  not  in  luck  that  day.  Perhaps  I  was 
a  little  ruffled  and  therefore  preoccupied  and  careless. 
I  certainly  was  an  inexperienced  skater,  unprepared 
for  emergencies ;  and  I  wanted  to  forge  ahead  quickly. 
So  I  got  all  the  weigh  I  could  on  and  felt  quite  pleased 
with  myself  when  I  suddenly  saw  a  whole  row  of 
school  boys  skimming  hand  in  hand  towards  me.  As 
soon  as  I  saw  them  we  seemed  to  collide.  There  was 
a  confused  disastrous  moment,  a  melee  in  which  I 
went  down  with  my  left  leg  under  me.  I  screamed 
with  the  pain  of  it  and  never  for  a  moment  did  I  lose 
consciousness.  I  wish  1  could  have  done  so.  Boys 
seemed  to  be  sitting  on  my  chest  and  boys  were  weigh- 
ing down  my  leg;  the  injured  one  that  I  could  not 
move.  A  crowd  gathered  round  us  babbling,  scolding 
and  exclaiming. 


232  IRON   COUSINS 

"Why  don't  you  get  up?"  someone  said  to  me. 

"Take  those  boys  away,"  I  entreated;  and  at  last 
they  all  tumbled  to  their  feet  again,  leaving  me  lying. 
And  in  spite  of  the  excruciating  pain  I  knew  my  hat 
had  been  pulled  off  my  head  and  my  fur  coat  half 
off  my  body  in  the  scrimmage. 

"Are  you  hurt?"  said  someone  else. 

"She  looks  deathly  pale." 

"She  is  about  to  faint." 

"Get  a  doctor." 

"Get  a  gendarme." 

"Who  is  she  ...  an  England erin." 

They  all  seemed  to  talk  at  once  and  their  voices 
began  to  buzz  in  my  ears  and  the  daylight  turned  to 
darkness.  I  shut  my  eyes  and  shivered  with  cold. 
Then  I  opened  them  again  because  a  little  man  in 
spectacles  was  pulling  at  my  leg  and  hurting  it  hor- 
ribly. I  looked  at  him. 

"You  have  broken  your  leg,"  he  said. 

"I  thought  so." 

"Where  do  you  live?" 

I  told  him. 

"Will  you  be  taken  there  or  to  a  Klinik  f" 

"To  a  Klinik,"  I  said. 

"One  where  you  will  have  to  pay  so  much  a  week, 
I  mean.  Before  you  could  be  admitted  to  a  free  in- 
firmary there  would  be  formalities  .  .  .  delay  .  .  . 
and  your  leg  should  be  attended  to  at  once." 

"I'll  pay  what  is  necessary,"  I  told  him. 

"I  will  have  you  taken  to  my  own  Klinik,"  he  said 
then,  and  gave  orders  to  various  people  standing 
around.  Then  he  waited  beside  me  till  a  stretcher 
was  brought  and  I  could  be  carried  away. 


XXXI 

THE  Plessens  both  paid  me  a  visit  in  Dr.  Leh- 
mann's  Klinik  that  evening  after  my  leg  had 
been  set  and  when  I  was  still  in  great  pain. 
They  were  very  kind.  At  least  he  was  really  and  she 
was  officially,  but  I  could  see  that  she  was  uncom- 
monly glad  not  to  have  me  at  the  flat  and  perhaps 
also  relieved  to  have  me  out  of  the  way  for  the  time. 
Dr.  Lehmann  had  informed  them  of  the  accident. 

"I  suppose  you  have  telegraphed  to  your  aunt,"  said 
Herr  Plessen. 

"No !"  I  said.    "She  is  in  Rome." 

"Even  if  one  is  in  Rome  one  wishes  to  know  what 
is  happening  to  one's  kith  and  kin,"  he  argued. 

"The  English  are  so  cold-blooded,"  said  his  wife. 
"Family  feeling  hardly  exists  amongst  them." 

I  shut  my  eyes  and  wished  they  would  go,  but  they 
went  on  talking  to  each  other. 

"This  is  an  expensive  Klinik/'  said  Frau  Plessen. 

"It  looks  clean  and  comfortable." 

"I  am  saying  that  it  is  expensive.  It  will  probably 
cost  eighty  marks  a  week  ...  if  not  more." 

"When  she  can  be  moved  we  will  bring  her  back 
to  the  flat.  The  children  can  wait  on  her." 

"What  an  idea!  The  children  will  be  going  to 
school  again.  What  sort  of  person  was  the  aunt?" 
233 


234  IRON   COUSINS 

They  spoke  in  low  voices  as  if  they  thought  I  was 
asleep  and  could  not  hear,  but  I  heard  them  as  I've 
sometimes  heard  voices  on  board  ship,  quite  clearly 
and  yet  a  long  way  off.  I'd  not  completely  come  out 
of  the  anaesthetic  yet  that  I  had  taken  when  they  set 
my  leg  and  I  felt  drowsy,  dull  and  ill. 

"The  aunt  was  a  highly  educated  person,"  mumbled 
Herr  Plessen.  "One  might  say  aristocratic." 

"How  can  she  be  in  Rome?  Had  she  money  then 
for  such  a  journey?" 

"One  cannot  get  from  London  to  Rome  without 
money.  I  suppose  she  has  enough.  It  was  a  quite 
decent  little  house  and  very  tidy." 

"In  that  case  I  do  not  understand  why  she  allows 
her  niece  to  take  service  with  strangers." 

I  think  I  must  have  dropped  off  for  I  did  not  hear 
what  Herr  Plessen  replied,  and  when  I  waked  Dr. 
Lehmann  had  come  in  and  they  were  arranging  to 
have  me  moved  to-morrow  to  a  general  ward  where 
there  were  other  patients  and  each  bed  was  cheaper. 

"I  won't  be  moved,"  I  said.  "I  like  this  little  room 
to  myself.  I'll  stay  here." 

"We  think  it  is  too  expensive,"  said  Frau  Plessen, 
stiffly.  "Besides  you  will  be  lonely." 

"I  don't  mind  that.    How  expensive  is  it?" 

"Eighty  marks  a  week." 

"How  many  weeks  shall  I  be  here?" 

"At  least  six.     Possibly  more,"  said  the  doctor. 

"Very  well,"  I  said.  "I'll  write  to  Aunt  Susan  about 
it  to-morrow. 

The  Plessens'  manners  underwent  a  great  alteration 
when  they  found  that  I  meant  to  pay  my  own  ex- 
penses. Before  that  they  had  been  kind  but  worried, 


IRON   COUSINS  235 

and  Frau  Plessen  had  asked  me  a  whole  string  of 
questions  about  what  happened  when  I  fell  and  why 
I  had  been  taken  here  instead  of  to  a  public  infirmary. 
They  took  leave  of  me  cordially  and  Frau  Plessen  said 
she  would  come  again  soon  and  bring  one  of  the 
children. 

"Bring  them  all,"  I  said  sleepily,  and  then  they 
went  away. 

The  next  person  who  came  to  see  me  was  Sophie, 
the  cook.  She  arrived  on  Sunday  in  her  best  clothes 
and  brought  me  some  delicious  little  cakes  made  chiefly 
of  almond  paste. 

"I  have  baked  them  on  purpose  for  you,"  she  said. 
"When  one  is  ill  one  must  eat  well  or  one  becomes 
weak.  Is  the  kitchen  good  here?  Do  they  give  you 
strong  food?" 

"Very  strong  and  plenty  of  it,"  I  assured  her.  By 
strong  she  meant  nourishing  and  the  food  at  the 
Klinik  was  so  nourishing  that  I  had  told  Dr.  Lehmann 
that  very  morning  that  I  should  get  fat. 

"So  much  the  better,"  he  had  said.  "You  are  too 
thin." 

"But  flabby,  doctor!  fat  and  flabby  through  having 
no  exercise  and  overmuch  food.  Pfni!" 

He  had  only  laughed;  and  then  the  midday  dinner 
had  been  so  good  that  I  had  eaten  it,  and  now  I  knew 
Sophie  would  be  hurt  and  disappointed  if  I  did  not 
consume  an  almond  cake  before  her  eyes.  I  suppose 
the  cakes  were  made  with  Frau  Plessen's  eggs  and 
almonds  and  sugar  but  I  did  not  like  to  ask. 

"Such  a  misfortune!"  exclaimed  Sophie  lifting  both 
hands  and  bringing  down  one  on  each  knee.  "When 
I  heard  of  it  I  wept.  I  suppose  the  Fraulein  will 


236  IRON    COUSINS 

never  walk  straight  again.  All  her  days  she  will  be 
a  cripple." 

"No  such  thing!"  I  assured  her,  but  I  could  not 
convince  her.  She  had  an  aunt  who  had  broken  her 
leg  and  to  this  day  the  aunt  limped  when  she  walked 
and  one  hip  had  grown  out,  spoiling  the  poor  woman's 
appearance. 

"So  she  walks !"  said  Sophie,  mimicking  the  hobble 
of  a  person  with  one  leg  shorter  than  the  other. 

"How  are  the  children  ?"  I  asked.  "Who  looks  after 
them?" 

"That  falls  upon  Auguste  and  me." 

"What  about  Fraulein  Elsa?" 

Sophie  chuckled  derisively. 

"She  has  other  ideas  in  her  head.  That  one  must 
expect.  On  Wednesday  we  have  the  Verlobungs 
Diner.  All  Tuesday  night  I  shall  be  at  work  and 
when  it  is  over  I  shall  be  kaput." 

"Who  is  coming  to  it?" 

"Family.  Always  family  and  a  few  old  friends. 
Twenty  people  will  sit  down  to  it.  The  ham  will 
be  stewed  in  champagne.  Yesterday  I  saw  Marie  and 
talked  to  her.  Griddige  Frau  has  played  her  a  dirty 
trick  .  .  .  poor  girl.  For  weeks  she  could  get  no 
place  because  it  was  written  in  her  Dieiistbuch  that 
she  had  shamefully  run  away  when  there  was  illness 
in  the  house  and  that  she  was  not  honest." 

"Not  honest !" 

"Yes !  So  it  is.  Such  a  Dienstbuch  is  a  misfortune 
for  a  poor  girl.  Time  and  time  again  I  have  seen  it. 
Marie  hat  manchmal  genascht.  That  I  cannot  deny. 
Here  a  little  cake.  There  a  corner  of  marzipan  per- 
haps. But  is  that  dishonesty?  I  remember  when 


IRON   COUSINS  237 

Fraulein  herself  ate  a  hot  gooseberry  tart  out  of  the 
oven.  I  remember  it  well  because  it  was  the  first  time 
that  the  j linger  Herr  came  into  my  kitchen  and  made 
sheep's  eyes  at  Fraulein  and  when  you  had  both  gone 
I  said  to  Marie — 'He's  got  it  badly' — and  now  Marie's 
living  with  the  Crefelds  and  that  ugly  English  Frau- 
lein— the  one  with  the  nose.  .  .  .  Pfui!  ist  sie  hasslich 
.  .  .  und  neugicrig!" 

"Marie  is  living  with  the  Crefelds!"  I  broke  in, 
hoping  to  stem  Sophie's  torrent  of  words  and  ward 
off  her  revelations. 

"Everything  the  English  Fraulein  asks  about — 
everything.  She  has  even  paid  a  visit  to  Frau  Bach 
and  asked  questions  there.  I  have  said  to  Marie  that 
she  is  very  silly  to  let  herself  be  squeezed  dry  in  that 
way.  One  can  always  know  nothing.  But  Marie  is 
afraid  of  losing  her  place  again." 

"But  what  is  Marie  supposed  to  know?" 

"About  you  and  the  junger  Herr.  How  he  visited 
you  in  the  Melkstrasse  and  how  you  went  out  with 
him  of  evenings  and  on  Sundays." 

"I  only  went  one  Sunday,"  I  said,  and  then  I  wished 
I  had  said  nothing. 

"I  knew  he  would  play  you  false.  Armes  Kind!" 
said  Sophie,  shaking  her  head  sapiently. 

But  a  day  or  two  later  when  Miss  Campbell  walked 
into  the  room  I  did  not  feel  cordially  disposed  to  her. 

"I  saw  you  fall,"  she  said.  "I  thought  you  seemed 
very  unsafe  on  your  skates.  I  could  not  see  what 
happened  after  you  fell  and  I  only  heard  next  day 
that  you  had  broken  your  leg.  Did  it  hurt  much?" 

"Quite  enough !" 

"Frau  Crefeld  asked  me  to  call  and  inquire.     She 


238  IRON   COUSINS 

still  takes  an  interest  in  you.  She  may  come  herself 
some  other  day." 

"I  hope  she  will,"  I  said. 

"She  is  a  very  tolerant  woman,"  said  Miss  Camp- 
bell, staring  round  the  room  and  at  the  same  time 
stroking  her  muff  and  smiling  to  herself.  I  said  noth- 
ing but  lay  there  silently  wishing  she  would  go. 

"Marie  Bach  is  living  with  us  now,"  she  went  on. 

I  said,  "Is  she  ?"  and  shut  my  eyes.  Miss  Campbell 
went  on  talking  about  Marie  Bach  and  her  Dienstbuch; 
about  her  efficiency  and  inefficiency  and  about  the 
superiority  of  everything  at  the  Crefelds  over  any- 
thing at  the  Plessens. 

"She  had  not  been  used  to  silver  egg-cups,"  she 
said.  "I  was  surprised.  I  should  have  expected 
people  like  the  Plessens  to  have  silver  egg-cups.  She 
also  says  that  for  a  dinner  of  twenty  people  Frau 
Plessen  has  actually  not  sufficient  silver  spoons  and 
forks  and  that  on  such  occasions  she  makes  out  with 
electro-plate.  Can  it  be  true?" 

"I  have  never  counted  Frau  Plessen's  spoons  and 
forks,"  I  said  sleepily.  "If  you  like  I'll  ask  her  and 
say  you  want  to  know." 

"Does  she  come  to  see  you  then?  I  thought  per- 
haps .  .  ." 

"What  did  you  think?" 

"Well!  she  must  be  very  much  occupied  just  now 
...  as  much  as  if  she  was  marrying  a  daughter. 
There  will  be  the  Brautdiner  and  then  everyone  will 
invite  the  Brautpaar,  and  there  is  the  trousseau  to  get 
and  all  the  furniture,  and  last  but  not  least  the  wed- 
ding. I  suppose  all  Hamburg  will  go  to  that  wedding. 


IRON   COUSINS  239 

When  I  say  all  Hamburg  of  course  I  mean  ...  I 
mean  .  .  ." 

"The  Hamburg  that  uses  silver  egg-cups,"  I  sug- 
gested. 

"Exactly.  There  is  one  thing  I'm  really  curious 
to  know.  As  a  rule,  I  am  the  last  person  in  the 
world  to  take  any  interest  in  other  people's  affairs. 
My  mind  is  differently  occupied.  But  I  should  like 
to  hear  the  real  facts  about  Fraulein  Mieding's  dowry. 
Can  you  tell  me  what  it  will  be?" 

"No,"  I  said.  "But  when  I  ask  about  the  spoons 
I'll  ask  about  that  too." 

She  got  up  then  and  said  she  had  a  thousand  things 
to  do  and  must  not  waste  any  more  time  gossiping 
with  me,  but  she  would  come  again  soon  as  she  con- 
sidered that  countryfolk  in  a  foreign  land  should 
stand  by  each  other  and  that  when  I  got  better  she 
would  help  me  if  she  could. 

"I  suppose  the  Plessens  are  paying  your  expenses 
here?"  she  said  just  before  she  opened  the  door  to  go. 

"Someone  will  have  to  pay  them,"  I  answered. 

"I  believe  they  are  liable.  I  will  find  out.  But  this 
must  be  an  expensive  place  and  they  are  probably  only 
liable  for  a  small  sum.  Did  they  place  you  here?" 

"No." 

"Who  did?" 

"Dr.  Lehmann." 

She  stood  by  the  door  then,  asking  questions  until 
I  had  to  tell  her  there  was  a  draught  and  she  must 
please  either  come  in  or  go  out.  So  looking  decidedly 
affronted  she  went  out  and  I,  feeling  decidedly  worn, 
fell  asleep. 


XXXII 

ONE  day  when  I  had  been  in  the  Klinik  about 
a  fortnight  Elsa  came  to  see  me  bringing 
Olga  and  Trudi  who  both  rushed  at  me  and 
smothered  me  with  kisses.  I  rather  wished  Elsa  had 
not  been  there,  but  the  children  could  not  have  come 
by  themselves  and  Elsa's  effect  on  our  transports  was 
no  more  moderating  than  their  mother's  would  have 
been. 

"Sallee  ich  Hebe  Dich!"  cried  Trudi,  snuggling  her 
head  under  my  arm  as  well  as  she  could.  "Poor 
Sallee!  Has  thou  suffered  much?  Hast  thou  been 
lonely  and  missed  us  as  we  have  missed  thee?" 

"I  bring  you  some  flowers,"  said  Olga,  who  minded 
her  p's  and  q's  more  than  Trudi  did  and  now  pre- 
sented me  with  a  bunch  of  violets :  a  splendid  bunch  of 
Parma  violets  such  as  you  see  in  a  shop  window  in 
January  and  wonder  who  has  money  enough  to  buy 
them. 

"We  may  not  tell  you  who  bought  them,"  said 
Trudi.  "They  were  very  expensive." 

I  asked  no  questions  but  Elsa  sat  so  that  I  could 
hardly  help  seeing  her  face  and  getting  the  impres- 
sion that  she  was  not  pleased. 

"When  people  are  ill  everyone  sends  them  flowers," 
she  said  in  the  hard  dogmatic  way  she  could  assume 
240 


IRON   COUSINS  241 

at  times.    "It  is  a  politeness  like  asking  at  the  door." 

"Just  so,"  I  agreed,  sniffing  at  the  violets.  "But 
these  are  lovely  and  when  for  a  fortnight  you've 
been  choked  with  ether  and  carbolic " 

"Poor  Sallee!"  said  Trudi,  stroking  my  cheek. 
"How  glad  Caspar  will  be  that  he  met  us  near  the 
flower  shop  and  asked  where  we  were  going." 

Then  she  checked  herself,  turned  crimson  and  stared 
at  Elsa  as  if  she  expected  to  be  reproved.  But  Elsa 
only  gave  a  little  shrug  of  her  shoulders  and  addressed 
herself  to  me. 

"I  could  not  get  them  away  from  the  window  .  .  . 
the  one  in  the  Arcade  you  know.  They  had  a  mark 
between  them  and  wanted  to  ask  for  those  violets. 
Children  have  no  idea.  ...  So  when  Caspar  joined 
us  he  bought  them.  He  spoils  Trudi.  What  she  sets 
her  heart  on  she  must  have  if  he  is  there." 

"When  he  is  married  it  will  be  no  longer  so,"  said 
Trudi  solemnly.  "He  has  said  so  to  me." 

"Tell  me  about  the  Brautdincr,"  I  said  hurriedly, 
but  as  I  have  told  you  before  when  Trudi  had  it  in 
her  mind  to  say  something  she  said  it. 

"When  people  get  married  all  their  fun  is  over," 
she  informed  us.  "It  becomes  a  schweres  Dasein. 
Caspar  will  have  no  money  for  violets.  Elsa  will  take 
all  his  money  to  pay  the  cook." 

"The  Brantdiner  was  a  brilliant  affair,"  narrated 
Elsa.  "My  uncle  and  aunt  spared  nothing  to  do  the 
young  couple  honor.  We  sat  down  twenty  at  seven 
o'clock  and  did  not  rise  from  the  table  till  nearly 
eleven.  Of  course  there  were  speeches  and  toasts  and 
songs.  Caspar  spoke  very  well.  I  felt  proud  of  him. 
He  said  that  marriage  held  no  surprises  for  us  be- 


242  IRON   COUSINS 

cause  we  had  known  each  other  for  years  and  that 
he  knew  my  nature  to  be  as  truly  golden  as  my  hair. 
His  father  spoke  well,  too.  He  said  his  son  could 
not  have  chosen  a  bride  who  was  more  welcome  in 
the  family  and  that  it  made  old  people  very  happy 
when  their  children  placed  their  affections  worthily. 
He  told  me  that  I  was  very  lucky  to  have  won 
Caspar's  love  and  he  told  Caspar  that  I  was  above 
rubies  and  must  be  always  cherished  and  honored  as 
his  most  precious  jewel.  We  were  all  moved  and 
Caspar's  mother  wept." 

"Olga  and  I  had  ice  pudding,"  said  Trudi.  "Sophie 
brought  us  great  lumps  of  it  when  we  were  in  bed. 
Ice  pudding  and  bonbons  and  little  cakes." 

"Those  little  burnt  almond  baskets  filled  with 
whipped  cream,"  said  Olga.  "They  are  my  Leib- 
speise.  Three  I  ate  of  them." 

"The  boys  were  allowed  to  sit  up  and  be  at  the 
dinner,"  said  Trudi.  "Everything  is  allowed  to  boys 
it  seems.  Oscar  ate  too  much  and  was  ill  in  the 
night." 

"Oscar  also  swarms  for  those  little  almond  baskets," 
murmured  Olga  with  an  expression  of  rapture  on  her 
face.  You  would  have  thought  to  look  at  her  that 
she  was  talking  of  the  sea  or  the  sky. 

"You've  forgotten  your  English  already,"  I  said. 
"You're  as  bad  as  the  German  who  told  his  English 
friend  that  when  his  wife  didn't  lie,  she  swindled." 

I  had  to  explain  that  venerable  chestnut  to  theni  at 
great  length  and  then  Elsa  harked  back  to  the  Braut- 
diner  and  told  me  what  everyone  had  worn  and  how 
Caspar  had  complimented  her  on  her  dress  which 
had  been  of  white  crepe-de-chine  with  which  she  wore 


IRON   COUSINS  243 

the  row  of  pearls  he  gave  her  in  honor  of  the  occasion. 

"I  cannot  take  them  off  to  show  you,"  she  said, 
fiddling  at  her  neck.  "I  have  promised  to  wear  them 
night  and  day  until  we  are  married." 

"Do  not  wear  them  when  you  take  a  bath  then?" 
said  Trudi,  gazing  at  her  cousin  with  immense  in- 
terest. "However,  that  is  not  often?" 

I  pinched  Trudi's  arm  which  was  near  mine  under 
the  bed-clothes,  but  that  did  no  good  as  she  asked 
me  why  I  did  it.  Elsa  mumbled  something  in  an 
annoyed  tone  about  the  mediaeval  arrangements  for 
bathing  at  her  aunt's  flat  and  said  that  she  had  abso- 
lutely refused  to  inhabit  one  after  her  marriage  unless 
it  had  central  heating  and  every  other  modern  com- 
fort. 

"When  are  you  going  to  be  married?"  I  said.  I 
was  glad  to  find  that  I  could  speak  of  the  event  with- 
out showing  the  least  emotion.  I  think  my  accident 
and  my  surroundings  helped  me.  I  felt  segregated 
from  the  world  for  the  time  being  and  screened  from 
the  adverse  winds  that  had  swept  me  out  of  my 
bearings  there. 

"Poor  Caspar!"  said  the  young  lady  with  a  simper- 
ing laugh.  "I  am  very  cruel  I  know,  but  I  refuse  to 
marry  until  our  home  is  ready  to  the  last  nail.  And 
when  one  is  critical  and  artistic  as  we  both  are  that 
takes  time  ...  an  everlasting  time.  He  would  like 
to  marry  at  once  and  leave  things  to  the  family,  but 
that  I  positively  refuse  to  do.  Before  marriage  a 
woman  can  get  her  way.  After  .  .  ." 

Elsa  gave  the  little  shrug  of  her  shoulders  and  toss 
of  her  head  that  always  made  me  wish  to  shake  her 
and  tell  her  not  to  be  so  silly. 


244  IRON   COUSINS 

"When  are  ycu  going  to  be  married  then?"  I  said 
again,  and  this  time  she  replied  that  it  would  be  early 
in  July. 

"You  must  come  to  the  wedding,"  she  said.  "Don't 
say  that  you  have  nothing  suitable  to  wear." 

I  wasn't  going  to  say  it.  I  had  the  dress  with  me 
that  I  had  worn  at  Isabella's  wedding  and  it  was 
much  prettier  and  more  uncommon  than  anything  I 
had  seen  in  Hamburg  so  far. 

"Perhaps  I  could  lend  or  give  you  something !"  said 
Elsa.  "There  are  one  or  two  things  I  am  wearing 
now  that  I  shall  not  take  with  me  although  they  are 
quite  good  still.  Caspar  does  not  like  me  in  pink  .  .  . 
well,  of  course,  he  adores  me  in  anything  .  .  .  but 
he  says  pink  is  not  my  color." 

"But  Elsa!"  exclaimed  Trudi,  "how  could  Sallee 
wear  one  of  your  dresses?  It  would  be  too  short  and 
much  ach!  much  too  broad!" 

I  didn't  pinch  Trudi  again  but  looked  at  my  watch 
and  said  firmly  but  regretfully  that  visitors  were  only 
allowed  to  stay  till  a  certain  hour  and  that  they  had 
outstayed  their  time  by  five  minutes.  I  felt  very  tired 
when  they  had  gone  and  altogether  out  of  tune.  I 
wished  I  could  see  more  clearly  into  the  future  and 
know  what  I  was  going  to  do  next.  I  should  be  here 
for  another  month  presumably,  but  where  was  I  to 
go  after  that?  I  should  still  be  more  or  less  crippled 
and  unable  to  travel  or  get  about  easily,  the  doctor 
said.  I  could  not  imagine  Frau  Plessen  putting  up 
with  me  in  such  a  condition  and  though  I  knew  Aunt 
Susan  would  keep  me  as  long  as  it  was  necessary  I 
hated  saying,  Give,  Give  forevermore. 

I  must  have  fallen  asleep  in  that  warm  silent  room 


IRON   COUSINS  245 

when  the  darkness  came  and  I  lay  there  alone;  one 
of  those  short  heavy  nightmarish  sleeps  that  people 
have  by  day  when  they  are  ill.  At  any  rate  I  woke 
with  a  start  and  such  a  presage  of  disaster  over- 
whelming me  as  I  had  never  known  before.  I  sat 
up  and  listened.  My  heart  beat  against  my  side 
violently  and  loudly.  I  was  in  a  sweat.  I  wanted  to 
cry  out  but  could  not.  The  room  was  dark,  I  tell 
you,  and  I  did  not  turn  on  the  light.  But  it  was 
not  pitch  dark.  The  faint  lingering  light  of  a  Feb- 
ruary afternoon  and  the  reflected  light  from  the  snow- 
covered  roofs  opposite  my  uncurtained  windows 
seemed  to  temper  the  darkness.  At  any  rate  I  saw. 
Saw  quite  plainly  the  figure  of  Aunt  Susan  standing 
at  the  foot  of  the  bed  and  looking  at  me.  It  is  most 
difficult  to  remember  or  describe  exactly  what  I  felt. 
I  know  that  directly  I  saw  her  I  did  not  feel  afraid, 
nor  did  I  think  of  her  as  an  apparition.  While  she 
was  there  I  did  not  connect  her  presence  with  death 
or  grieve  over  her.  Yet  at  first  I  did  not  speak  or 
feel  surprised  that  she  did  not  speak  to  me.  I  looked 
at  her  quietly  and  gladly  and  she  looked  at  me  as 
she  sometimes  used  to  do,  with  a  depth  of  affection 
it  would  have  been  against  her  code  to  put  into  words. 
Then,  as  suddenly  and  strangely  as  she  had  come 
she  vanished,  and  when  that  happened  I  turned  my 
face  to  the  wall.  I  suppose  the  nurse  must  have 
found  me  later  in  a  condition  of  collapse  that  alarmed 
her  and  that,  as  I  have  no  medical  knowledge,  I  cannot 
explain.  At  any  rate  I  seem  to  have  been  in  a  stupor 
from  which  they  roused  me  with  difficulty  and  I  waked 
from  it  to  find  Dr.  Lehmann  bending  over  me,  anxious 
and  evidently  puzzled. 


246  IRON   COUSINS 

"I  dreamed,"  I  said,  "I  dreamed  that  my  aunt  stood 
there  at  the  foot  of  the  bed." 

The  doctor  was  a  kind  simple  little  man  who  knew 
all  that  can  be  known  about  broken  legs  but  not  much 
about  nerves.  He  went  into  a  laborious  dissertation 
on  the  phenomena  of  dreams  and  the  obvious  connec- 
tion of  this  one  with  the  Schweinebraten  I  had  eaten 
for  lunch  and  was  put  out  when  the  nurse  informed 
him  that  I  had  not  eaten  any  meal  at  all  because  I 
had  had  no  appetite. 

"So!  So!"  he  repeated,  punctuating  her  reports 
with  nods  of  his  owlish  head  and  blinking  at  me  with 
his  sandy  eyelashes.  "No  appetite.  That  is  bad. 
Perhaps  a  little  iron  .  .  ." 

It  was  later  in  the  evening  and  I  was  alone  again 
when  the  telegram  came  from  Rome  to  say  that  Aunt 
Susan  had  died  suddenly  that  afternoon  at  five  o'clock. 
I  did  not  show  it  to  the  doctor  till  next  morning.  I 
wanted  to  lie  alone  with  sorrow  and  to  think. 


XXXIII 

THERE  were  two  chairs  in  my  little  room  at  the 
Klinik  and  the  nurse  had  just  placed  one  for 
Frau  Plessen  and  one  for  Frau  Crefeld.  The 
two  ladies  had  met  on  the  door  step  and  when  my 
door  opened  I  saw  Frau  Plessen  give  the  nurse  a 
slight  shove  in  order  that  she  might  enter  first,  for 
though  she  had  married  a  Hamburg  merchant  Frau 
Plessen  had  Junker  blood  in  her  veins  on  her  mother's 
side  and  the  least  drop  of  Junker  blood  makes  it  im- 
possible for  you  to  enter  a  room  behind  a  Jewess. 
I  looked  from  one  lady  to  the  other  and  wished  they 
had  not  chosen  to  visit  me  on  the  same  day  and  at 
the  same  hour.  It  was  not  necessay  to  introduce  them. 
They  had  the  bowing  acquaintance  that  comes  of 
serving  on  the  same  committees  and  I  knew  that  they 
were  both  interested  in  a  new  creche  and  had  been 
at  loggerheads  over  certain  details  of  the  arrange- 
ments. I  had  not  seen  Frau  Crefeld  since  she  had 
cold-shouldered  me  in  the  theater,  but  her  manner  to- 
day was  cordial  again.  She  wore  magnificent  furs 
and  when  she  took  off  her  coat  because  the  room  was 
hot  we  saw  a  long  pearl  necklace  that  must  have  been 
worth  many  thousands  of  pounds.  Frau  Plessen  eyed 
it  sorely.  She  had  put  on  complimentary  mourning 
because  this  was  her  first  visit  after  Aunt  Susan's 
death  and  she  came  to  condole.  Frau  Crefeld  came 
247 


248  IRON   COUSINS 

to  condole,  too,  and  said  that  she  had  brought  a  long 
letter  from  Mrs.  David  which  she  proposed,  presently, 
to  read  to  me. 

"Miss  Danvers  has  been  very  ill,"  said  Frau 
Plessen. 

"Anyone  can  see  that  at  a  glance,"  said  Frau  Cre- 
feld.  "A  serious  accident  like  a  broken  leg  .  .  ." 

"Miss  Danvers'  illness  had  nothing  to  do  with  her 
leg.  That  was  a  normal  fracture  and  was  healing  in 
a  normal  way.  A  broken  leg  is  not  an  illness." 

"In  my  opinion  it  is,"  said  Frau  Crefeld,  getting 
rather  agitated  and  affronted  by  the  Christian  lady's 
dictatorial  tone. 

Frau  Plessen  gave  a  low  derisive  snort  and  said 
that  as  her  father  had  been  Hofrath  to  a  Grand  Duke, 
she  allowed  herself  to  know  the  difference  between 
an  illness  and  an  injury.  Miss  Danvers  had  been  in 
robust  health  when  she  foolishly  went  on  the  ice  be- 
fore she  could  skate  and,  as  was  to  be  expected,  broke 
her  leg. 

"I  was  told  on  good  authority  that  Miss  Danvers 
looked  very  suffering  that  day,"  said  Frau  Crefeld. 
"We  must  also  remember  all  that  went  before." 

"What  went  before?" 

"I  understand  that  two  of  Gnddige  Fran's  children 
had  scarlet  and  that  Miss  Danvers  was  shut  up  with 
them  for  months.  Dr.  Jastrow  cannot  say  enough  of 
her  devotion  and  her  diligence  in  doing  her  duty." 

"My  dear  Frau  Crefeld,  you  evidently  have  no  ex- 
perience of  illness,"  said  Frau  Plessen,  smoothing  her 
big  muff  and  looking  at  it  as  she  spoke.  "For  weeks 
after  the  scarlet  is  over  and  the  children  are 
well  .  .  ." 


IRON    COUSINS  249 

"Gisela  had  scarlet  two  years  ago,"  interrupted  Frau 
Crefeld.  "I  nursed  her  through  it  myself.  If  I  had 
left  her  to  others  I  should  have  considered  myself  a 
raven  mother." 

"With  an  only  child  has  there  ubergespannte 
ideas,"  said  Frau  Plessen,  and  then  she  addressed  her- 
self to  me. 

"I  have  just  engaged  a  young  person  to  look  after 
the  children,"  she  said.  "You  will  understand  that  I 
could  not  wait  any  longer.  My  niece's  marriage  makes 
me  extra  busy  just  now.  I  am  assisting  the  young 
pair  with  their  furniture  as  well  as  with  the  linen  and 
the  trousseau.  They  want  to  get  things  in  Berlin  and 
I  must  of  course  accompany  them.  For  the  children 
I  have  taken  a  German  this  time  with  the  highest 
references.  Her  home  is  in  Altona,  but  she  speaks 
perfect  English." 

"Can  one  learn  perfect  English  in  Altona?"  said 
Frau  Crefeld. 

"Certainly.  In  our  schools  languages  are  perfectly 
taught,"  said  Frau  Plessen. 

So  far,  since  the  condolences  were  done  with  I  had 
not  spoken  a  word.  The  ladies  had  bristled  and 
sparred  and  stroked  their  muffs,  and  I  had  lain  there 
as  stupid  as  a  log  wishing  they  would  go.  I  was 
not  myself  yet.  After  Aunt  Susan  died  I  felt  so 
lonely  and  miserable  that  I  cried  day  and  night  and 
made  myself  ill;  more  ill  than  a  young  woman  with 
a  broken  leg  that  is  mending  nicely  need  be.  The 
doctor  had  looked  at  me  like  a  wise  old  owl,  ad- 
ministered tonics  and  asked  me  whether  I  was  in  the 
habit  of  seeing  things  that  were  not  there.  The  nurse 
who  attended  to  me  said  she  had  three  aunts  and  de- 


250  IRON   COUSINS 

tested  them  all  and  that  therefore  she  could  not  sym- 
pathize fully  with  my  grief.  As  if  I  wanted  her  to! 
I  wanted  to  be  let  alone  and  I  did  not  care  a  button 
whether  I  lived  or  died.  But  it  is  the  business  of 
doctors  and  nurses  to  combat  lethargy  of  that  kind, 
and  in  my  case  they  succeeded.  I  was  well  enough 
now,  they  said,  to  see  visitors,  and  sure  enough  two 
at  a  time  had  been  let  in  on  me. 

"I  wonder  if  Trudi  will  like  the  young  person  from 
Altona?"  I  said  because  it  was  time  for  me  to  say 
something. 

"When  I  engage  a  young  person  for  the  children 
I  expect  her  to  control  them  and  keep  them  clean," 
said  Frau  Plessen.  "Everything  else  is  of  secondary 
importance." 

"The  person  from  Altona  will  probably  do  all  that 
is  required,"  said  Frau  Crefeld.  "A  young  lady  of 
your  position  cannot  be  expected  to  wash  children." 

Frau  Plessen  looked  at  her  watch. 

"You  will  not  be  well  enough  to  take  a  new  situa- 
tion for  some  time,"  she  began.  "When  you  think 
of  it  I  shall  be  glad  to  help  you,  but  perhaps  you  intend 
to  return  to  England." 

"I've  made  no  plans  yet,"  I  said  vaguely. 

"Miss  Danvers  will  not  think  of  another  situation 
either  here  or  in  England,"  said  Frau  Crefeld.  "Her 
aunt  has  left  her  everything." 

"How  do  you  know?"  I  said  in  surprise,  for  I  had 
heard  nothing  about  it  yet. 

"Mrs.  David  tells  me  so  in  her  letter.  She  went 
to  your  home  and  an  old  servant  there  asked  for  your 
address.  She  said  your  aunt's  solicitor  wanted  it.  So 
Mrs.  David  went  to  see  the  solicitor  herself  and  wrote 
to  me  immediately  after.  You  will  probably  hear 


IRON   COUSINS  251 

from  him  to-morrow.  Your  aunt  has  left  you  all 
her  things  and  about  six  hundred  a  year." 

"Had  she  as  much  as  that?"  I  said,  trying  to  take 
the  news  in  but  only  half  succeeding.  It  was  very 
good  news  of  course,  but  I  was  still  too  unhappy  about 
the  way  it  came  to  rejoice  over  it. 

"Six  hundred  a  year  is  not  a  large  income  in  Lon- 
don amongst  people  of  your  aunt's  standing,"  said 
Frau  Crefeld.  "It  sounds  well  in  marks.  Twelve 
thousand  a  year!  But  in  pounds  sterling!  However, 
Mrs.  David  says  that  if  you  choose  to  sell  your  aunt's 
pictures  you  could  increase  your  income  considerably. 
She  seems  to  have  had  one  or  two  of  great  value  .  .  ." 

"But  if  your  aunt  could  afford  to  keep  you  at  home 
why  did  she  send  you  to  Hamburg  to  be  a  children's 
governess?"  cried  Frau  Plessen. 

"She  didn't  send  me.  She  advised  me  strongly  not 
to  go,"  I  explained. 

"Then  why  did  you  come?" 

"I  wanted  to  travel.  I  would  rather  see  the  world 
as  a  tramp  than  not  see  it  at  all." 

"Absurd !"  said  Frau  Plessen.  So  I  told  her  about 
the  Japanese  general,  but  she  did  not  seem  interested 
in  him.  She  said  the  Japanese  were  yellow  men  and 
uncivilized,  but  that  she  could  easily  understand  an 
English  girl  wishing  to  enjoy  the  spectacle  of  German 
Kultur  for  a  time  and  taking  any  opportunity  that 
offered.  There  was  no  need  to  bolster  up  a  laudable 
and  natural  desire  like  that  with  the  example  of  a 
Stinkaffe. 

Then  she  got  up  to  go  and  when  the  door  shut 
behind  her  Frau  Crefeld  heaved  a  sigh  of  relief. 

"An  insufferable  woman !"  she  exclaimed.  "Ar- 
rogant and  disagreeable  in  the  highest  degree.  How 


252  IRON   COUSINS 

have  you  endured  life  with  her  all  these  months?" 

"I  never  set  eyes  on  her  from  the  end  of  August 
till  the  middle  of  December,"  I  said. 

"Where  were  you  then  before  the  children  had 
scarlet?" 

"I  was  by  myself  in  rooms." 

One  of  those  uncomfortable  silences  followed  when 
two  people  are  thinking  of  the  same  thing  and  want 
to  discuss  it  but  do  not  know  how  to  begin. 

"Frau  Plessen  should  be  ashamed  of  herself,"  said 
Frau  Crefeld,  taking  the  plunge  suddenly.  "She 
should  have  explained  to  you  that  you  were  too  young 
to  live  alone  in  such  a  way." 

"She  did  say  something  about  it,"  I  rejoined.  "She 
wanted  me  to  board  with  Fraulein  Popper." 

"That  old  witch !  Na !  That  could  not  be  ex- 
pected of  you.  But  you  might  have  gone  to  some 
comfortable  Pension." 

"I  had  very  little  money." 

"But  the  Plessens  have  money  and  to  spare.  They 
brought  you  from  England.  It  was  their  duty  to 
look  after  you." 

"I'm  old  enough  to  look  after  myself." 

Frau  Crefeld  took  up  her  pearl  necklace  in  one  hand 
and  looked  earnestly  at  a  large  pear-shaped  pearl 
at  its  apex. 

"My  Miss  Campbell  has  a  bad  tongue,"  she  said. 
"There  is  no  doubt  of  it.  The  poor  creature  is  plain 
and  poor  and  elderly,  and  she  has  a  bad  tongue  when 
anyone  young  and  charming  is  in  question.  Unfor- 
tunately she  found  me  a  room  maid  who  came  from 
Frau  Plessen  and  she  has  wormed  things  out  of  that 
girl  .  .  .  things  I  can  hardly  believe." 


IRON   COUSINS  253 

"I  expect  they  are  all  true,"  I  said  airily. 

"True?" 

"If  they  are  about  Herr  Heiling  and  me.  He  came 
to  see  me  several  times  in  the  Melkstrasse  and  I  spent 
a  Sunday  with  him  at  Griinbeck.  Mr.  Hope  saw  us 
there." 

"Miss  Campbell  says  she  saw  him  twice  at  the  Jung- 
fernstieg  .  .  .  once  late  at  night." 

"Not  very  late." 

"The  children  were  in  bed." 

"Well  .  .  .  children  .  .  ." 

"The  young  man  quite  lost  his  head  and  accused 
Miss  Campbell  of  spying." 

"It  looked  like  it  ...  her  coming  back  I  mean." 

"She  had  forgotten  her  glove." 

"You  know  the  whole  story." 

Frau  Crefeld  looked  pensively  at  the  pear-shaped 
pearl  and  relapsed  into  silence  again. 

"I  suppose,"  she  said  after  a  time,  "I  suppose  the 
young  man  fell  in  love  with  you." 

"It  looked  like  it,"  I  admitted. 

"But  it  was  impossible  for  him  to  marry  a  girl 
without  money.  His  father  would  not  have  allowed 
it." 

"So  he  said." 

"But  now  you  have  money  .  .  .  money  enough. 
Fraulein  Mieding  has  less  than  you." 

I  wondered  how  she  knew  but  she  evidently  did 
know. 

"It's  too  late,"  I  said. 

"Perhaps  your  heart  was  not  deeply  engaged,"  she 
suggested,  and  she  meant  so  well  that  I  wished  I  knew 
how  to  answer  her. 


XXXIV 

THE  spring  passed,  the  summer  came  and  I  stayed 
on  in  Hamburg.  I  stayed  partly  because  I 
could  not  trust  my  game  leg  to  behave  as  a 
leg  should  on  a  journey,  especially  at  those  awkward 
moments  when  there  is  a  scrimmage  on  a  gangway 
or  when  the  train  stands  so  high  above  the  platform 
that  no  one  could  board  it  without  a  skip  and  a  jump. 
I  stayed  on,  too,  because  I  dreaded  going  back  to  the 
lonely  house  at  Chelsea  and  because  I  liked  the  idea 
of  another  summer  in  Germany.  I  had  not  made  up 
my  mind  yet  where  I  should  spend  it  and  I  had  not 
taken  a  ticket  for  Bayreuth  as  I  should  have  liked  to 
do,  because  the  Crefelds  were  going  and  would  have 
been  pained  to  see  me  there  when  I  was  in  mourning 
for  an  aunt  who  had  been  a  mother  to  me.  Frau 
Crefeld  said  that  if  it  had  been  an  ordinary  aunt  it 
would  not  have  mattered,  but  the  memory  of  one  who 
had  brought  me  up  and  left  me  comfortably  pro- 
vided for  deserved  to  be  honored  for  at  least  a  year. 
I  did  not  argue  with  her.  People  have  their  own 
ideas  and  ways  of  honoring  the  dead  and  mine  have 
nothing  to  do  with  the  trappings  of  woe  or  with 
abstinence  from  such  a  solace  to  the  spirit  as  music 
is  at  its  best.  But  I  could  not  have  gone  to  Bayreuth 
with  them  knowing  that  they  disapproved,  and  I  was 
254 


IRON   COUSINS  255 

not  inclined  to  go  alone.  When  I  left  the  Klinik 
I  went  to  a  Pension  known  to  Frau  Crefeld  and  kept 
by  two  pleasant  capable  women  who  gave  me  a  room 
facing  the  Alster  and  respected  my  desire  to  be  left 
to  myself.  I  appeared  at  dinner  and  supper  and  im- 
proved myself  by  talking  German  to  my  fellow 
boarders  on  the  rare  occasions  when  they  were  not 
improving  themselves  by  talking  English  to  me.  My 
opportunity  came  when  a  family  of  energetic  and 
determined  Americans  arrived,  because  they  said  that 
the  presence  of  an  Englishwoman  upset  their  plans 
and  that  if  a  word  of  English  was  spoken  at  meals 
they  would  leave  the  Pension  next  day. 

"That  suits  me  exactly,"  I  said.  "I  want  to  talk 
German." 

"Real  English  Egoismus!"  said  the  Germans. 
"Why  should  you  profit  by  us  when  we  prefer  to  profit 
by  you?" 

I  should  have  given  in  or  compromised  but  the 
Americans  pointed  out  that  they  had  crossed  the  At- 
lantic in  order  to  study  German  in  a  German  city. 
They  were  there  to  be  instructed  and  not  to  instruct. 
When  the  Germans  wanted  to  talk  English  they  could 
go  to  London  or  New  York. 

"Paris  first,"  said  one  of  them,  "then  London. 
Then,  when  the  time  comes,  New  York." 

That  was  in  June,  before  the  Serajevo  murders 
and  before  there  was  any  definite  date  for  war  fixed 
in  ordinary  German  minds.  But  the  idea  of  war  was 
everlastingly  present  to  them  and  the  idea,  too,  of 
English  hostility.  I  never  joined  in  political  talk  if 
I  could  help  it,  but  from  the  day  I  landed  in  Germany 
I  became  aware,  with  foreboding,  of  political  animus. 


256  IRON   COUSINS 

Even  those  Germans  who  were  friendly  would  make 
a  point  of  the  friendliness  being  extended  willingly 
to  the  individual  but  never  to  the  nation.  Some  of 
them  could  never  leave  the  subject  alone  and  against 
my  will  I  found  myself  trying  to  defend  Edward 
VII,  our  colonial  system  and  the  freedom  of  the  seas. 
Much  I  knew  about  them.  The  Germans  believed 
that  they  knew  everything.  The  ordinary  German  is 
as  full  of  knowledge  as  an  encyclopedia,  but  it  is 
mostly  knowledge  with  a  bias.  He  is  schooled  but 
not  educated  politically  or  socially !  and  so,  although 
he  is  stuffed  with  information,  he  as  often  as  not 
lacks  wisdom  and  judgment.  Still,  in  those  days  what 
Germans  said  about  Edward  VII  did  not  weigh  on 
my  mind,  and  I  changed  the  subject  when  I 
could  and  talked  of  summer  resorts.  To  talk  of  any- 
thing assisted  my  uncertain  cases  and  genders.  I  had 
a  little  conversation  sometimes  with  the  young  person 
from  Altona  when  she  brought  Olga  and  Trudi  to 
see  me.  She  could  not  speak  a  word  of  English  and 
I  was  glad  to  find  had  no  feelings  about  Edward  VII. 
Blouses  were  her  main  interest  in  life  and  I  won  her 
everlasting  friendship  by  giving  her  my  colored  ones 
and  some  of  my  colored  clothes. 

"But  you  have  luck!"  she  said,  fixing  a  pair  of 
round  blue  eyes  on  me  wistfully.  "To  be  so  rich  that 
you  can  throw  away  these  beautiful  things." 

I  could  not  discuss  my  luck  with  her  or  deny  it, 
but  the  children  seemed  to  interpret  my  silence  and 
spoke  for  me. 

"Poor  Sallee !"  said  Olga.  "She  weeps  for  her  aunt 
and  she  has  a  mended  leg.  I  am  sorry  for  her." 

"I,  too !"  sighed  Trudi.    "Very  sorry !" 


IRON   COUSINS  257 

She  paused,  as  Trudi  did  pause  when  some  idea  was 
fermenting  in  her  mind  that  she  found  it  difficult  to 
express. 

"Since  the  Hebe  Gott  wanted  your  aunt  himself  I 
think  he  might  have  called  her  to  heaven  a  little 
sooner,"  she  said  pensively. 

The  young  person  from  Altona  jumped  and  so 
did  I. 

"Aber,  Trudi!"  the  young  person  began.  "What 
thoughts  for  such  a  child !" 

"It  is  Caspar's  thought,  not  mine,"  proceeded 
Trudi.  "Yesterday  I  said  to  him  'Sallee  is  rich  now. 
Why  do  you  not  marry  her  instead  of  Elsa?'  and  he 
said  it  was  the  fault  of  the  Hebe  Gott  who  should 
have  made  up  His  mind  sooner  that  He  needed  Sallee's 
aunt  in  heaven.  He  told  me  that  I  might  say  this  to 
Sallee  but  not  to  Elsa  because  Elsa  was  now  his 
Braut.  Poor  Caspar!  Shall  I  greet  him  from  you, 
Sallee?" 

"We  will  have  tea  now,"  I  said,  for  the  children 
had  come  to  tea  by  my  invitation  and  I  had  added 
all  the  cakes  they  liked  best  to  the  meal  provided  by 
the  boarding  house.  I  hoped  cream  tarts  with  hazel 
nuts  in  them  would  divert  Trudi's  ideas,  fixed  as  they 
usually  were. 

For  a  time  the  spell  worked  but  just  when  we  had 
eaten  all  the  cakes  we  could  and  were  turning  our 
thoughts  to  fondants  the  door  opened  and  Miss  Camp- 
bell appeared  with  Gisela.  I  had  to  introduce  the 
young  person  from  Altona,  to  find  seats  for  the  new- 
comers, to  invite  them  to  tea,  to  ask  for  more  cups 
and  plates. 

"We  did  not  come  to  tea,"  said  Miss  Campbell,  look- 


25&  IRON   COUSINS 

ing  down  her  nose  at  the  young  person  from  Altona 
and  giving  her  the  chilliest  kind  of  bow. 

"But  now  that  we  are  here  ..."  pleaded  Gisela, 
her  eyes  on  the  cakes.  Trudi  handed  her  a  heaped  up 
plate. 

"Take,"  she  said,  and  Gisela  took. 

Miss  Campbell  had  apparently  forgotten  the  dis- 
tressful moment  when  she  foreswore  my  acquaintance 
and  was  accused  by  Caspar  of  spying,  or  she  remem- 
bered and  forgave.  Anyhow  she  had  changed  her 
mind  and  on  the  rare  occasions  when  we  met  behaved 
as  if  nothing  had  happened.  I  had  only  seen  her 
once  or  twice  lately  when  she  came  with  messages 
from  Frau  Crefeld  and  then  not  for  long.  To-day 
she  said  that  Frau  Crefeld  would  call  for  me  in  her 
car  to-morrow  and  would  either  take  me  shopping  or 
for  a  country  drive,  whichever  I  preferred.  The 
young  person  from  Altona  looked  at  me  amiably  but 
enviously.  A  little  while  ago  I  had  occupied  her 
place  in  the  Plessen  household  and  now  I  sat,  as  idle 
as  I  pleased  in  a  Pension  on  the  Alster,  and  was  in- 
vited to  drive  with  a  wealthy  Frau  Crefeld  in  her 
car.  Such  changes  may  the  wheel  of  Fortune  bring 
to  those  who  are  lucky. 

"If  you  have  no  engagements  to-morrow  and  can 
be  ready  at  ten,  Frau  Crefeld  will  take  us  to  Griin- 
beck,"  said  Miss  Campbell.  "She  asked  me  to  find 
out  if  you  would  dislike  that." 

I  know  my  voice  did  not  betray  me.  I  said  that 
I  had  no  engagements  and  could  be  easily  ready  by 
ten.  But  the  suggestion  of  Griinbeck  made  so  sud- 
denly and  unexpectedly  did  strike  a  chord  in  my 
memory  that  I  suppose  was  reflected  somehow  in  my 


IRON   COUSINS  259 

face.  Perhaps  I  colored  a  little;  perhaps  I  started 
ever  so  slightly.  At  any  rate  when  I  looked  at  Miss 
Campbell  I  saw  that  she  had  the  smile  on  her  lips 
and  the  gleam  in  her  eyes  that  meant  mischief. 

"You  know  Griinbeck?"  she  said.  "Perhaps  some 
other  place  would  be  more  agreeable  to  you." 

"Not  at  all,"  I  said,  and  if  I  spoke  with  hauteur 
it  was  no  more  than  Miss  Campbell  deserved.  Soon 
after,  saying  that  Gisela  was  always  sick  after  eat- 
ing cakes  from  a  Conditorei  she  got  up  to  go. 

"I  suppose  that  you  are  very  busy  with  preparations 
for  your  cousin's  wedding,"  she  said  to  Olga,  and 
Olga  launched  into  a  voluble  account  of  the  prepara- 
tions and  of  the  bridesmaids'  dresses  and  of  the 
bride's  trousseau.  Miss  Campbell  sat  down  again. 

"Six  dozen  chemises  has  Elsa,"  said  Olga  boast- 
fully. 

"But  only  two  dozen  nightgowns,"  said  Trudi. 
"She  wanted  more  but  my  Mamma  says  in  these  days 
two  dozen  is  enough." 

"Every  day  come  presents." 

"Five  clocks  have  come,  and  silver,  pictures,  books, 
jewelry  ...  it  makes  one  long  to  be  married  .  .  . 
directly  I  have  been  confirmed  I  shall  marry.  That  is 
sure." 

"I  am  going  to  marry  Mr.  Hope  when  I  am  old 
enough,"  said  Gisela.  "I  have  told  him  so." 

To  my  surprise  Miss  Campbell  simpered  in  a  self- 
conscious  way  and  blushed. 

"Mr.  Hope  has  other  views,  my  child,"  she  said. 

"We  all  know  Mr.  Hope,"  said  Olga.  "He  is  com- 
ing to  Elsa's  wedding.  He  has  sent  her  a  table  from 


2bo  IRON   COUSINS 

India,  a  carved  one.  It  will  stand  in  her  salon  with 
a  palm  on  it." 

"Is  Mr.  Hope  in  Hamburg  again?"  I  asked. 

"He  has  been  here  for  weeks,"  said  Miss  Camp- 
bell with  the  same  little  arch  smile  that  I  had  noticed 
before.  What  could  it  portend?  As  I  was  looking 
at  her  and  wondering,  the  young  person  from  Altona 
extracted  from  her  blouse  a  large  crumbled  envelope 
that  she  presented  to  me  with  apologies.  She  should 
have  remembered  it  before.  It  contained  an  invita- 
tion to  the  marriage  of  Elsa  Mieding  and  Caspar 
Heiling.  Miss  Campbell  eyed  the  printed  card  as  it 
lay  on  the  table,  and  then  in  English  she  spoke  to  me 
in  an  undertone : 

"They  know  nothing  then?  You  have  kept  your 
secret?" 

"I  have  no  secret,"  I  said. 

"Ach !  with  me  you  may  pour  out  clear  water.  I 
can  understand  what  you  are  suffering.  It  must  have 
been  a  terrible  disillusionment.  If  only  you  had 
listened  to  me!  I  remember  telling  you  what  his 
reputation  was.  Do  you  still  see  him  occasionally?" 

"If  you  mean  Herr  Heiling,  I've  not  seen  him  since 
Christmas,"  I  said  audibly.  I  hated  whispered  con- 
versations. 


XXXV 

1WAS  sitting  alone  that  evening  with  my  hands 
before  me,  rather  tired  and  wishing  it  was  bed- 
time. But  it  was  not  dark  yet  and  I  could  sec 
the  evening  traffic  beginning  on  the  Alster.  The  idea 
of  going  to  Griinbeck  to-morrow  with  Frau  Crefeld 
had  revived  my  memories  of  the  Sunday  I  spent  there 
nearly  ten  months  ago,  memories  that  troubled  me 
vaguely  now  because  they  reminded  me  of  a  fever  that 
had  spent  itself.  However,  I  had  the  sense  even  then 
to  see  that  it  is  better  to  recover  from  a  fever  than 
not  to  recover.  I  decided  on  thinking  it  over  that 
evening  that  my  pride  had  been  wounded  and  my 
heart  bruised  but  not  broken.  My  heart  was  evidently 
of  a  tough  constitution  and  the  spermaceti  of  anger 
had  healed  it.  Anger  and  time.  Through  the  mists 
of  pain  and  sorrow,  through  the  slow  succession  of 
idle  convalescent  months,  through  the  gathering 
knowledge  of  my  altered  circumstances,  I  envisaged 
my  short  excursion  into  the  realm  of  love  and  won- 
dered how  it  was  I  had  stumbled  over  its  borders 
and  come  safely  back  again.  I  had  not  seen  Caspar 
Heiling  since  Christmas  or  heard  from  him,  so  I  took 
for  granted  that  he  had  recovered,  too.  I  paid  no 
attention  to  Trudi's  chatter. 

I  was  by  way  of  receiving  my  visitors  in  my  own 
room  which  was  a  large  one  with  a  bedstead  tucked 
361 


262  IRON    COUSINS 

away  in  an  alcove,  but  hitherto,  except  for  the  doctor, 
my  visitors  had  all  been  women  and  children:  mem- 
bers in  fact  of  the  two  households  with  which  I  was 
friendly.  However,  as  I  was  sitting  by  the  open 
window  in  the  dusk  of  the  June  evening  the  door  was 
thrown  open  and  closed  again  behind  Caspar  who 
came  quickly  towards  me  and  said  in  an  agitated 
manner : 

"I  could  bear  it  no  longer.    I  had  to  come." 

This  did  not  sound  like  the  complete  recovery  that 
was  desirable  nor  did  he  look  like  it.  His  eyes  were 
miserable  and  his  expression  was  furtive  and  restless, 
but  his  eyes  devoured  me  so  greedily  that  I  turned 
away  from  them. 

"You  wear  mourning,"  he  murmured.  "I  knew  it 
and  yet  I  had  not  pictured  you  in  it.  You  are  pale. 
You  have  suffered  since  I  saw  you.  I  thought  your 
image  was  graven  on  my  heart,  but  now  that  I  am 
with  you  again  I  know  that  I  have  only  carried  a 
shadow  of  it  with  me.  You  are  more  beautiful  than 
I  remembered,  more  touching,  more  enchanting  .  .  ." 

He  talked  like  that.  I  wished  he  wouldn't  but  he 
took  me  so  by  surprise  that  he  got  a  good  deal  said 
before  I  tried  to  stop  him. 

"These  remarks  should  be  addressed  to  Fraulein 
Mieding,"  I  suggested  lamely,  when  he  stopped  for 
breath,  but  he  merely  said  Tcha  and  went  on  again. 
It  reminded  me  of  an  explosion  of  pent-up  steam  that 
has  to  have  its  way  and  that  gets  quieter  by  degrees. 
He  got  quieter  by  degrees,  but  not  till  he  had  told  me 
a  great  deal  about  his  love,  his  sufferings,  and  said  a 
great  many  things  he  ought  not  to  have  said.  I  did 
not  want  to  listen  to  him,  but  I  could  not  send  him 


IRON   COUSINS  263 

away  without  a  scene.  I  sat  there  at  first  saying  very 
little  and  wondering  at  my  own  deadness.  His  fire 
did  not  kindle  me  although  it  distressed  me.  'I  was 
sorry  for  him  because  I  could  see  that  he  was  dis- 
satisfied and  wretched  but  the  futility  of  such  an  out- 
burst seemed  to  me  pitiable,  and  at  last  I  said  so. 

"The  meat  must  be  baked  for  your  wedding-table," 
I  reminded  him.  "Your  house  is  furnished  .  .  ." 

"The  bed  is  made  and  I  must  lie  on  it,"  he  inter- 
rupted bitterly.  "But  how  if  I  will  not  ?" 

"You  are  bound  in  honor  ..."  I  began. 

"I  know  it.  I  have  struggled  as  no  man  ever  did 
yet.  It  is  stronger  than  honor." 

"It  should  not  be." 

"How  can  you  know?  You  are  a  child.  You  are 
not  aflame  yet  as  I  am  ...  but  if  I  could  get  you 
...  if  I  could  teach  you  .  .  ." 

"Do  you  think  I  would?"  I  exclaimed  indignantly. 
"Do  you  think  I  have  no  honor?" 

He  had  not  sat  down  yet.  He  had  slid  into  the 
room  with  his  old  sideways  gait  and  now  stood  star- 
ing at  me,  his  greenish  eyes  dark  and  vehement,  his 
mustache  bitten  and  hungry  looking. 

"We  must  talk  things  out,"  he  said,  and  took  a 
chair  close  by  the  long  one  on  which  I  often  lay  to 
rest  my  leg. 

"We  have  not  a  single  word  to  say  to  each  other," 
I  answered.  "I  have  an  invitation  to  your  marriage 
with  Elsa  Mieding." 

"But  it  has  not  taken  place  yet." 

"It  will  take  place." 

"That  depends  entirely  on  you." 

"You  rave." 


264  IRON   COUSINS 

"I  have  raved  ...  by  day  and  by  night  .  .  .  ever 
since  we  parted.  Now  I  am  calm." 

He  did  not  look  it.  He  had  all  the  appearance  of 
a  man  whose  nerves  are  at  breaking  point  and  who 
has  worked  himself  up  to  take  some  plunge  that  means 
kill  or  cure  in  his  history. 

"There  is  still  time,"  he  began.  "Nothing  is  needed 
but  courage  that  a  man  must  have." 

I  did  not  say  a  word  but  I  thought  my  thoughts. 
I  imagine  they  expressed  themselves  without  words 
as  thoughts  will  at  times,  for  he  looked  at  me  in 
gloomy  silence  and  then  said : 

"I  was  not  my  own  master.  You  know  how  I  was 
situated." 

"Has  your  situation  altered  then?"  I  asked.  "Are 
you  more  independent  of  your  father  than  you  were?" 

He  looked  at  me  oddly. 

"It  would  be  a  nine  days'  wonder,"  he  answered, 
as  it  seemed  to  me,  irrelevantly.  "We  should  have 
something  to  face,  I  admit.  But  that  kind  of  thing 
is  soon  lived  down  even  in  Hamburg.  When  people 
see  you  they  will  understand." 

"What  are  you  proposing?"  I  said  bluntly. 

"To  break  off  my  engagement  with  Elsa  and  marry 
you,"  he  said  with  equal  curtness. 

"Have  you  told  Elsa  what  you  want  to  do?" 

"Not  yet.  Such  things  are  best  written.  I  should 
go  away  for  a  time  .  .  .  and  if  only  I  could  persuade 
you  to  come  with  me  .  .  ." 

"You  would  hardly  need  to  write  then.  Things 
would  almost  explain  themselves." 

"Just  what  I  thought.  But  we  would  be  married 
as  soon  as  possible  ...  in  England  if  you  wished." 


IRON   COUSINS  265 

"But  I  thought  you  could  not  marry  me  without 
your  father's  consent  and  that  he  would  not  give  it." 

"My  dear  child,  if  I  had  known  last  autumn  what 
I  know  now  .  .  ." 

"What  do  you  know  now?" 

"Isn't  it  rather  a  want  of  tact  to  ask?  Must  I  dot 
the  i's?  Why  did  you  come  amongst  us  as  a  girl 
without  money  or  family?" 

"Because  I  had  no  money.  As  for  my  family,  your 
uncle  saw  Aunt  Susan." 

"All  this  misery  might  have  been  spared  to  us.  If 
I  had  only  known  .  .  ." 

"It  does  seem  to  have  been  badly  managed,"  I  said, 
and  looked  not  at  him  but  at  some  rings  of  Aunt 
Susan's  that  had  been  sent  to  me  from  Rome.  One 
was  of  diamonds,  one  of  emeralds  and  another  of 
diamonds  and  pearls.  I  had  known  them  all  my  life 
and  wore  them  when  they  came  to  me  because  they 
reminded  me  of  her. 

"You  are  not  the  same,"  he  went  on  discontentedly. 
"Money  has  changed  you.  Last  September  .  .  ." 

"I'm  going  to  Griinbeck  to-morrow  with  Frau  Cre- 
feld,"  I  said.  "We  are  to  have  lunch  in  that  hotel." 

"If  I  had  asked  you  to  marry  me  then  you  would 
have  said,  Yes." 

"I'm  afraid  I  should." 

"Joyfully?" 

"I  suppose  when  one  says,  Yes,  one  is  joyful,"  I 
agreed  with  some  hesitation. 

"I  offer  you  everything  to-day;  everything  I  have, 
everything  I  am." 

"Elsa  stands  between  us." 

"Elsa  will  weep  a  little  and  then  she  will  marry 


266  IRON   COUSINS 

someone  else.  She  has  not  a  deep  nature.  I  am  not 
necessary  to  her." 

The  clang  of  the  supper  bell  interrupted  us  and 
reminded  me  that  I  was  hungry. 

"Supper!"  I  said. 

He  seemed  not  to  hear.  At  any  rate  he  did  not 
attempt  to  go. 

"If  I  go  straight  from  here  to  Elsa  and  break  off 
with  her  will  you  marry  me?"  he  said. 

"No." 

"Why  not  ?  Why  will  you  not  do  in  June  that  which 
you  were  ready  to  do  in  September?  I  have  not 
changed.  Why  should  you?" 

"I  haven't  the  same  opinion  of  you  as  I  had  then," 
I  began,  thinking  that  he  would  never  go  until  I  had 
administered  some  home  truths. 

"What  have  opinions  to  do  with  love?" 

"You  behaved  badly." 

"I  behaved  as  I  could.  I  always  meant  well  by 
you." 

"If  I  had  listened  to  you  ...  if  I  had  been  more 
in  your  power  than  I  was  .  .  .  still  more  weak  and 
silly  than  I  was  .  .  ." 

"But  that  is  past  history.  Why  rake  it  up?  To- 
day I  will  do  anything  you  please  .  .  .  that  I  can  do. 
If  you  would  rather  we  waited  and  announced  our 
engagement  in  the  autumn  ..." 

I  shook  my  head. 

"You  are  wasting  your  time,"  I  said.  "I  refuse 
to  marry  you." 

"On  what  grounds?  I  can  give  you  a  great  deal. 
A  little  while  ago  I  was  agreeable  to  you." 

He  wearied  me  and  I  was  hungry. 


IRON   COUSINS  267 

"Go  back  to  Elsa  and  be  good  to  her,"  I  said,  getting 
up.  "She  is  too  good  for  you." 

He  followed  me  across  the  room  and  seized  my 
arm  so  that  I  had  to  stop  and  listen  while  he  spoke 
fiercely  and  angrily  close  to  my  ear. 

"Sallee  .  .  .  wait  .  .  .  listen  ...  I  can't  live  with- 
out you.  When  I  see  you  I  am  mad  for  you,  as  I 
was  before.  Sallee,  take  me!" 

"Too  late !"  I  said. 

"If  you  refuse  I  will  shoot  myself;  I  swear  I  will. 
Perhaps  I  will  shoot  you,  too." 

The  threat  left  me  as  cold  as  his  wooing  did.  I 
was  not  alarmed  either  for  him  or  for  myself,  but  I 
was  glad  that  the  door  opened  to  admit  the  maid  who 
waited  at  table.  She  came  to  ask  me  if  I  had  heard 
the  supper  bell  and  whether  I  wished  a  cover  to  be 
laid  for  the  gentleman. 

"Will  you  stay  to  supper?"  I  asked  over  my 
shoulder,  for  I  had  taken  care  to  go  ahead  and  reach 
the  door. 

"Yes,  I  will,"  he  said  in  English.  "Then  we  can 
talk  afterwards." 

"Afterwards  I  shall  sit  in  the  reception  room  with 
the  other  guests  until  I  go  to  bed." 

"Is  that  what  you  always  do?" 

"I  shall  do  it  to-night." 

"Then  I  will  come  again  another  day." 

"I  will  not  see  you  again.  There  is  nothing  more 
to  be  said." 

"That  is  your  last  word?" 

The  maid  had  gone  her  way  and  we  stood  outside 
my  room  now  by  ourselves.  But  at  any  moment  other 
people  might  have  appeared  and  I  felt  as  safe  from 


268  IRON   COUSINS 

his  transports  as  I  should  have  done  on  the  high  roa3. 
He  no  doubt  knew  this  for  he  spoke  in  a  whisper  and 
had  a  baffled  air  that  I  observed  with  some  amuse- 
ment and  satisfaction. 
"My  last  word!"  I  said. 

"I  hope  that  some  day  you  will  suffer  as  I  do  now." 

I  left  him  standing  in  the  hall  and  went  into  the 

Speisesaal    It  had  been  an  agitating  half  hour,  but  I 

ate  my  supper  in  a  mood  that  was  nearer  comedy  than 

tragedy. 


XXXVI 

WHILE  I  ate  my  supper  I  thought  of  all  the 
things  I  ought  to  have  said  to  Caspar.  I 
had  let  him  off  too  easily.  I  ought  to  have 
painted  his  conduct  in  such  colors  that  he  blushed  for 
it.  I  ought  to  have  been  eloquent  and  scathing.  Of 
course  the  difficulty  was  the  usual  one  in  human 
affairs :  the  mixture  of  motives,  the  mixture  of  good 
and  bad  in  his  procedure.  His  passion,  or  his  affec- 
tion, call  it  which  you  will,  for  me,  was  genuine.  He 
really  was  over  head  and  ears  in  love  with  me  as  the 
saying  is.  But  he  had  not  been  man  enough  last 
autumn  to  risk  his  father's  wealth  for  my  sake,  and 
he  had  been  fool  enough  or  villain  enough  to  think 
he  could  inveigle  me  into  one  of  those  unions  that  can 
only  end  in  misery  and  disgrace  for  people  like  me. 
I  have  no  wish  to  lay  down  the  law  in  this  matter. 
I  know  that  some  of  the  finest  love  stories  of  the  world 
are  stories  of  love  that  has  broken  all  laws,  yet  re- 
mained on  the  highest  plane  of  tragedy  and  beauty. 
But  Caspar  and  I  were  not  born  to  such  great  issues. 
I  had  been  brought  up  within  boundaries  that  he 
asked  me  to  break,  and  he  damned  himself  in  my 
eyes  when  he  asked  me.  I  told  you  to  begin  with 
that  I  was  old-fashioned.  Perhaps  you  would  like  to 
call  me  prudish  and  namby-pamby,  too.  If  you  are 
really  advanced  and  to-morrowish  you  probably  will. 
But  however  to-morrowish  you  are  you  should  live 
269 


270  IRON   COUSINS 

and  let  live.  We  can't  all  be  wantons  if  the  world 
is  to  go  round  sanely;  and  there  is  still  room  in  it, 
I  firmly  believe,  for  people  who  keep  the  law  their 
fathers  have  made  for  them  even  at  some  cost  to 
themselves.  I  can't  claim  merit  in  this  way  for  I 
was  never  tempted  to  break  the  law.  My  bourgeoise 
soul  was  up  in  arms  at  the  idea  of  doing  it  and  my 
poor  little  flame  of  love  flickered  out  in  a  night  at 
the  first  breath  of  what  I  called  insult  and  he  called 
freedom.  I  could  not  forgive  him  for  having  thought 
that  I  would  descend  to  be  his  mistress,  and  he  could 
not  understand  that  my  disillusionment  was  lasting. 
I  hoped  I  had  seen  the  last  of  him,  and  though  I  had 
been  more  stirred  by  his  appeal  than  I  had  allowed 
him  to  guess  I  did  not  regret  my  refusal  or  fear  any 
violent  action  on  his  part.  He  would  rage  but  he 
would  eat  his  dinner;  he  would  mope  but  he  would 
marry  Elsa  on  the  appointed  day  and  make  her  a 
passably  good  husband.  He  would  find,  that  she  could 
hold  her  own  in  spite  of  her  sentimental  ways,  and 
he  might  find  that  she  was  an  admirable  housekeeper. 
In  that  case  I  saw  him  settling  down  contentedly  to 
a  life  of  comfortable  food,  purple  and  fine  linen,  get- 
ting fat  towards  middle  age,  fathering  a  brood  of 
healthy  children  and  occasionally  remembering  me  as 
a  youthful  folly  at  which  his  wisdom  wondered.  I 
saw  all  wrong  because  I  did  not  see  as  a  prophet  and 
had  no  ears  for  the  storm  gathering  around  me. 

I  found  next  day  that  Miss  Campbell  and  Gisela 
were  going  to  Griinbeck  with  us  and  that  Mr.  Hope 
had  arranged  to  meet  us  there.  He  had  proposed  it 
himself,  Frau  Crefeld  said,  and  she  was  rather  sur- 
prised that  he  could  find  the  time  during  the  worka- 


IRON    COUSINS  271 

day  week.  I  happened  to  look  at  Miss  Campbell  when 
Frau  Crefeld  said  this  and  I  was  surprised  to  see  a 
little  self-conscious  smile  on  her  lips  which  I  could 
only  interpret  one  way.  She  evidently  thought  she 
knew  why  Mr.  Hope  was  giving  himself  this  holiday 
and  was  entertained  by  our  obtuseness.  I  noticed,  too, 
that  she  was  dressed  with  unusual,  but  not  quite  suc- 
cessful coquetry.  She  wore  a  natural  colored  tussore 
that  was  too  much  like  her  sallow  skin  to  be  becom- 
ing, and  a  hat  on  which  large  crimson  cherries  bobbed 
with  every  movement.  Her  gloves  were  of  yellow 
cotton  and  her  large  flat  feet  looked  larger  than  they 
need  have  done  because  her  shoes  and  stockings  were 
of  the  peculiarly  ugly  yellowish  tan  so  much  worn  in 
Germany.  I  should  not  have  thought  twice  about 
the  failure  of  her  clothes  if  she  had  not  been  so  dis- 
agreeable and  conceited,  but  when  she  said  that  no 
Englishwoman  knew  how  to  dress  and  that  she  had 
studied  and  acquired  the  art  in  Paris  it  seemed  to  me 
that  the  gods  had  struck  her  with  blindness.  It  was 
so  hot  that  I  had  put  on  the  white  embroidered  muslin 
that  Frau  Plessen  had  once  thought  over  fine  for  a 
governess  and  with  it  I  wore  a  plain  shady  black  hat 
and  black  ribbons. 

"I  never  choose  white,"  she  said.  "After  eighteen 
it  is  a  mistake. 

"I  mean  to  wear  it  for  years  to  come,"  I  answered. 

"That  bears  out  what  I  say:  Englishwomen  have 
not  the  art  of  clothes.  I  am  pure  English  myself,  but 
I  have  lived  so  much  in  Paris  that  I  may  call  myself 
French,  too." 

"When  you  have  been  long  enough  in  Hamburg 
shall  you  call  yourself  pure  German?"  I  asked. 


272  IRON   COUSINS 

"Certainly  not.  Besides  I  shall  probably  not  be  long 
in  Hamburg." 

Frau  Crefeld  was  quite  overcome  by  the  heat  and 
nearly  asleep.  Her  eyes  were  shut  and  her  parasol 
so  unsteady  in  her  hand  that  it  descended  on  me  every 
few  minutes  and  was  righted  by  our  combined  efforts 
because  she  said  she  would  get  sunstroke  without  it. 
Gisela  looked  sleepy,  too,  so  that  on  the  whole  Miss 
Campbell  and  I  were  left  to  entertain  each  other.  But 
Frau  Crefeld  seemed  to  prick  up  her  ears  suddenly 
at  the  idea  of  losing  her  daughter's  governess  and 
said  in  a  lazy  murmur: 

"Are  you  hankering  after  Paris  again,  Rebekah? 
Perhaps  when  autumn  comes  we  might  find  something 
for  you  there  ?" 

Miss  Campbell  turned  red,  the  angry  red  of  a  per- 
son who  hears  herself  called  Rebekah  when  she 
wishes  to  be  Rosamund.  But  she  made  no  audible 
reply  and  as  Frau  Crefeld  had  not  opened  her  eyes 
she  could  not  see  the  signs  of  Rebekah's  anger  or  the 
acidity  of  her  smile. 

Mr.  Hope  stood  just  outside  the  hotel  at  Griinbeck 
when  we  drew  up  there  and  came  forward  to  help 
us  out  of  the  car.  I  had  not  seen  him  since  that 
dreadful  Sunday  when  I  had  wept  in  his  presence 
and  he  had  advised  me  to  go  back  to  England  at  once. 
I  had  often  thought  of  him,  but  I  was  prepared  to 
find  that  if  he  remembered  me  at  all  it  was  with 
disapproval.  He  would  be  civil  but  chilly  and  im- 
passive as  he  had  been  before  when  we  met.  I  looked 
at  him  as  he  helped  me  out  of  the  car  and  saw  to 
my  surprise  and  relief  that  he  did  remember  me  and 
that  if  he  disapproved  he  was  not  going  to  show  it. 


IRON   COUSINS  273 

Appearances  are  deceptive  but  he  seemed  delighted 
to  see  me  again,  so  much  so  that  he  helped  Miss  Camp- 
bell and  Gisela  rather  hurriedly  out  of  the  car  and 
came  up  to  me  while  Frau  Crefeld  was  giving  her 
chauffeur  her  orders. 

"So  you're  still  here,"  he  said. 

I  said  I  was.  We  exchanged  a  few  further  re- 
marks, equally  intelligent,  agreed  that  the  weather 
was  warm,  and  side  by  side  followed  Frau  Crefeld 
into  the  hotel  where  we  found  a  table  ready  for  us 
in  a  shady  corner  of  the  room  and  near  an  open 
window.  Frau  Crefeld  took  a  chair  at  one  end  and 
told  Mr.  Hope  to  sit  on  her  right.  As  he  did  so 
Miss  Campbell  looked  at  him  with  a  simpering  smile 
and  said; 

Vis-a-vis 

1st  besser  als  dicht  dabei, 

pronouncing  dabei  in  the  Low  German  way  as  if  it 
rhymed  with  bee,  and  took  the  chair  opposite  him 
and  on  Frau  Crefeld's  left.  Mr.  Hope  made  no  re- 
sponse. I  doubt  if  he  understood.  At  any  rate  he 
behaved  as  if  he  had  not  heard  and  turning  to  Frau 
Crefeld  he  asked  her  what  she  would  like  to  drink. 
She  asked  him  to  order  some  light  wine  and  when  it 
came  the  host  who  brought  it  placed  the  bottle  before 
him  and  left  him  to  pour  it  out.  He  filled  Frau  Cre- 
feld's glass  and  was  about  to  fill  Miss  Campbell's 
when  she  drew  her  glass  aside  so  unexpectedly  that 
he  only  just  saved  the  wine  from  going  on  the  table. 
"If  you  insist  .  .  ."  she  said.  "Otherwise  .  .  ." 
she  gave  a  little  shudder  to  express,  I  suppose,  her 
dislike  of  wine. 


274  IRON   COUSINS 

He  did  not  insist.  He  asked  me  if  I  would  have 
some  and  I  said  I  would  if  I  might  have  some  of  the 
siphon  of  seltzer  water  ordered  for  Gisela  with  it. 
He  mixed  the  wine  and  water  for  me  and  then  filled 
his  own  glass. 

"Am  I  not  allowed  to  drink  then  on  this  hot  day  ?" 
said  Miss  Campbell  in  an  arch  manner. 

"The  siphon  is  close  to  you,"  said  Frau  Crefeld. 

"But  I  want  wine  and  water.  I  want  Mr.  Hope 
to  mix  it,"  she  said  pettishly. 

Mr.  Hope  did  as  he  was  asked  in  a  wooden  way 
and  the  meal  proceeded  harmoniously,  although  it 
was  impossible  not  to  see  that  Miss  Campbell  was 
throwing  herself  at  Mr.  Hope  with  immense  energy 
and  that  he  showed  no  inclination  to  catch  her.  This 
spectacle  always  seems  to  me  more  painful  than 
ridiculous  and  I  dislike  watching  it.  So  when  lunch 
was  over  and  a  little  walk  was  proposed  I  managed 
to  stay  behind  with  Frau  Crefeld  who  found  a  shady 
summer-house  with  moderately  comfortable  seats  in 
it  and  promptly  fell  asleep.  I  felt  rather  sleepy,  too, 
and  was  listening  to  summer  sounds  with  drowsy  en- 
joyment when  approaching  footsteps  waked  me  and 
I  saw  Mr.  Hope  alone. 

"Where  are  the  others?"  I  asked. 

"They  have  gone  for  a  walk,"  he  said,  and  sat 
down. 

I  wondered  how  he  had  managed  to  get  away,  but 
I  could  not  ask  him.  I  thought  he  looked  a  little 
ruffled. 

"It  is  too  hot  for  walks,"  he  went  on.  "I  should 
not  have  started  if  I  had  known  that  you  were  com- 
ing here." 


IRON   COUSINS  275 

"I  can't  walk  much  yet,"  I  said. 

We  sat  there  undisturbed  for  about  twenty  minutes 
enjoying  the  shade  and  quietness.  He  asked  me  a 
little  about  my  accident  and  I  asked  him  about  his  time 
in  India.  Frau  Crefeld  was  fast  asleep  and  did  not 
disturb  us.  It  was  when  we  saw  Miss  Campbell  and 
Gisela  returning  to  us  that  he  surprised  me. 

"Where  are  you  staying?"  he  asked,  and  I  told  him. 

"I  should  like  to  come  and  see  you,"  he  said,  and 
as  I  felt  pleased  I  dare  say  I  looked  pleased. 

"When  can  I  come?"  he  went  on,  but  before  I  could 
gather  myself  together  and  suggest  a  day  and  a  time 
Miss  Campbell  and  her  charge  had  joined  us.  She 
looked  like  vinegar  and  said  that  the  sun  had  given 
her  a  headache. 

"I  shall  return  by  train,"  she  announced  in  a  pugna- 
cious voice.  "Nothing  will  induce  me  to  return  in 
an  open  car  in  the  heat  of  the  day.  What  train  are 
you  going  by,  Mr.  Hope?" 


XXXVII 

I    WAS  not  in  any  way  to  blame  for  what  fol- 
lowed,  at  least  not  actively  to  blame.     I   sat 
there  and  did  not  speak,  yet  Miss  Campbell's 
wrath  glanced  from  Frau  Crefeld  who  made  the  ar- 
rangement that  provoked  her  and  lighted  on  me. 

Frau  Crefeld  waked  suddenly  from  her  siesta, 
blinked  at  us  amiably,  told  Gisela  she  looked  tired  and 
asked  Miss  Campbell  why  she  had  kept  the  child  out 
in  this  heat.  Frau  Crefeld's  manner  with  Rebekah- 
Rosamund  always  amused  me.  She  was  kind  and 
even  long  suffering  but  she  had  a  way  of  riding 
rough-shod  over  Rebekah-Rosamund's  pretensions  that 
must  have  been  galling  and  which  I  wondered  to  see 
accepted  submissively  although  I  knew  how  hollow 
the  pretensions  were,  how  well  the  young  lady  knew  on 
which  side  her  bread  was  buttered  and  how  much  she 
liked  butter  with  her  bread. 

"What  are  you  saying  about  a  train?"  asked  Frau 
Crefeld. 

"I  was  saying  that  I  would  rather  go  home  by  train 
if  it  can  be  arranged,"  said  Miss  Campbell.  "The 
heat  has  given  me  a  headache." 

"By  all  means,"  said  Frau  Crefeld.  "You  can  take 
the  one  that  leaves  at  four  o'clock." 

Then,  turning  to  Mr.  Hope,  she  said: 

"Will  you  come  back  with  us  in  the  car?" 

"I  shall  be  delighted,"  said  Mr.  Hope. 
276 


IRON   COUSINS  277 

Miss  Campbell  looked  furious  and  opened  a  little 
bag  she  carried  only  to  snap  it  to  again  with  a  vicious 
click.  She  did  this  three  times  in  succession  and  at 
last  Frau  Crefeld  said: 

"How  fidgety  you  are,  Rebekah!  Are  you  looking 
for  anything  in  that  bag?  I  shall  give  you  money  for 
your  journey  unless  Mr.  Hope  has  a  return  ticket  that 
you  can  use." 

"I  have  a  first  class  return,"  said  Mr.  Hope,  and 
took  a  ticket  from  his  waistcoat  pocket  which  he 
offered  to  Miss  Campbell.  She  took  it  from  him  with 
a  glance  that  I  hoped  for  her  sake  he  did  not  notice. 
It  gave  her  away  and  as  far  as  I  could  see  he  was 
not  taking  any.  When  I  use  a  dreadful  slang  phrase 
like  that  I  always  think  of  Aunt  Susan  and  of  the 
correct  English  in  which  she  would  have  expressed 
the  same  sentiment.  She  would  have  said  that  the 
gentleman  made  no  visible  response  to  the  lady's  ad- 
vances, but  even  Aunt  Susan  got  her  dander  up  at 
times  and  I  remember  her  describing  Ann  in  Man 
and  Superman  as  a  brazen  hussy.  Aunt  Susan's  idea 
was  that  the  men  should  do  the  courting  and  that  a 
self-respecting  woman  would  rather  die  of  love  than 
confess  to  it  unasked.  My  idea  is  that  these  affairs 
are  too  diverse  and  complicated  to  be  brought  under 
one  clear-cut  general  rule.  Take  Othello  for  instance. 
He  did  not  speak  till  Desdemona  had  given  him  a 
hint.  Men  are  kittle  cattle. 

But  no  doubt  Othello  had  opened  his  heart  to  Des- 
demona long  before  he  opened  his  lips  and  if  I  could 
have  seen  the  least  sign  of  such  a  state  of  things  in 
Mr.  Hope's  manner  to  Miss  Campbell  I  could  have 
forgiven  her  for  being  what  the  Cornish  call  "forthy" 


278  IRON   COUSINS 

in  her  manner  to  him.  At  least  I  should  have  decided 
that  it  was  none  of  my  business  and  that  if  he  liked 
being  fawned  over  and  I  disliked  seeing  it  I  need 
only  shut  my  eyes  or  avoid  his  company.  But  he 
hated  it.  I  felt  sure  that  he  hated  it.  A  man  does, 
unless  he  is  the  wrong  stuff  himself.  He  did  not  look 
at  her  when  he  gave  her  the  ticket  and  so  I  suppose 
he  did  not  see  what  I  saw,  that  when  she  had  had 
it  in  her  hand  a  minute  she  absent-mindedly  tore  it 
into  little  bits.  He  certainly  looked  surprised  when 
she  gave  a  shriek,  cast  the  bits  of  cardboard  on  the 
table  and  said: 

"I'm  certainly  duselig  to-day.  See  what  I  have 
done.  Schadet  nichts.  There  is  room  for  us  all  in 
the  car  if  someone  sits  beside  Johann  in  front." 

"You  can,"  said  Frau  Crefeld.  "It  will  be  good 
for  your  headache." 

Miss  Campbell  tossed  her  aching  head  and  glanced 
across  the  table  at  me. 

"I  had  a  little  talk  to  the  landlord  just  now,"  she 
said.  "It  is  strange.  He  is  sure  that  he  has  seen 
you  before." 

The  attack  was  so  sudden  that  I  was  not  prepared 
to  meet  it  and  I  did  what  was  perhaps  the  silliest 
thing  possible.  I  looked  at  Mr.  Hope.  I  was  glad 
he  was  there,  though  I  hardly  knew  why.  But  un- 
fortunately Miss  Campbell  saw  the  look  and  went 
green  with  anger. 

"He  says  that  you  came  here  one  Sunday  last  Sep- 
tember and  he  thinks  that  you  came  with  Herr  Heiling 
...  the  young  one  of  course." 

"He  seems  to  have  a  good  memory,"  I  said.  I  had 
to  say  something. 


IRON   COUSINS  279 

"It  seems  to  have  been  a  funny  affair.  Herr 
Heiling  ordered  a  table  for  two  but  did  not  use  it. 
He  sat  with  his  family  and  you  disappeared." 

"I  went  home,"  I  said. 

I  tried  to  appear  unconcerned,  but  no  doubt  I  only 
half  succeeded." 

"How  do  you  explain  it?"  said  Miss  Campbell. 

"I  don't  explain  it,"  I  said.     "I  see  no  need." 

"Quite  right,"  said  Frau  Crefeld,  who  was  awake 
enough  by  this  time.  "What  you  did  last  September 
is  not  Rebekah's  business.  She  is  so  inquisitive." 

Miss  Campbell  got  up  as  suddenly  as  if  she  had 
been  a  Jack-in-the-box. 

"I  shall  go  home  by  train.  I  can  get  another 
ticket,"  she  said,  and  marched  away  with  a  glowering 
countenance.  I  felt  most  unhappy  and  I  think  Mr. 
Hope  did,  too,  but  Frau  Crefeld  seemed  to  take  such 
tantrums  as  a  matter  of  course.  She  whipped  out  her 
purse  and  took  some  money  from  it. 

"We  shall  be  more  comfortable  without  her,"  she 
said.  "Run  after  her,  Gisela,  and  give  her  this.  She 
never  has  a  groschen  of  her  own." 

"I'll  go,"  said  Mr.  Hope,  and  was  on  his  way  before 
Gisela  had  realized  what  her  mother  wanted. 

"That  is  a  man  with  whom  I  should  fall  in  love  if 
I  were  a  girl,"  said  Frau  Crefeld,  and  taking  me  un- 
awares by  her  quick  change  of  subject  she  asked: 
"Do  you  ever  see  Herr  Heiling  now?" 

"I  saw  him  last  night,"  I  said. 

"Where?'  ' 

"He  called  at  the  Pension" 

I  suppose  my  face  or  my  manner  told  her  something 
I  would  rather  not  have  told. 


28o  IRON   COUSINS 

"He  is  still  making  love  to  you,"  she  surmised.  "At 
the  eleventh  hour  he  would  leave  his  bride  and  burn 
through  with  you.  Now  that  you  have  money  he 
reckons  that  he  would  be  forgiven.  Such  a  Don 
Juan !" 

"But  you  don't  even  know  him,"  I  cried.  "How 
can  you  .  .  ." 

"My  good  child,  look  in  the  glass  and  ask  yourself 
whether  a  young  man  is  likely  to  give  you  up  for 
Fraulein  Mieding  if  he  can  possibly  help  it." 

"I  have  done  with  him,"  I  said.  I  thought  it  best 
to  make  it  clear.  "I  shall  not  see  him  again." 

"There  they  come!"  piped  Gisela,  who  could  see 
down  the  garden  path  from  where  she  sat  and  sure 
enough  Miss  Campbell  reappeared  with  Mr.  Hope, 
her  good-humor  restored. 

"I  have  allowed  myself  to  be  persuaded,"  she  said. 
"Mr.  Hope  thinks  I  shall  suffer  less  from  the  heat 
in  the  car  than  I  should  in  the  train." 

As  it  turned  out  none  of  us  suffered  from  heat 
going  home  because  a  thunder-storm  rolled  up  sud- 
denly, broke  close  to  us  and  cooled  the  air.  We  sat 
in  the  hotel  while  it  lasted  and  Gisela  came  on  my 
knee  and  hid  her  head  in  my  neck.  Frau  Crefeld 
remained  calm  because  she  said  she  had  lived  through 
worse  storms  without  harm,  and  Miss  Campbell  told 
us  that  her  nerves  were  peculiarly  affected  by  elec- 
tricity. She  was  happy  to  say  that  she  did  not  know 
what  fear  meant  but  she  was  hypersensitive  and  could 
not  help  starting  and  screaming  with  every  crash.  If 
she  had  not  explained  her  behavior  in  this  way  I 
should  have  said  she  made  an  exhibition  of  herself, 
especially  when  she  clung  to  Mr.  Hope's  arm  and 


IRON   COUSINS  281 

implored  him  to  hide  her.  He  extricated  himself  as 
soon  as  he  could  without  being  positively  brutal  and 
went  outside  to  pick  up  hailstones.  At  least  he  said 
so,  but  as  there  had  been  no  hail  there  were  naturally 
no  stones  to  pick  up. 

"I  feel  better  now,"  Miss  Campbell  announced  when 
the  storm  was  over,  and  it  seemed  only  civil  to  say 
that  I  was  glad  to  hear  it.  But  as  we  went  towards 
the  car  Frau  Crefeld  told  me  in  a  low  voice  that 
Rebekah  had  always  been  of  a  trying  temper  and  that 
latterly  she  had  begun  to  think  she  must  let  her  go. 

"It  is  not  good  for  Gisela,"  she  explained.  "One 
moment  Rebekah  is  so  cross  and  mopey  that  the  child 
does  not  know  how  to  please  her,  and  then  again 
she  is  in  such  high  spirits  that  we  ask  her  if  she  has 
won  the  big  prize  in  a  lottery.  She  used  to  be  uni- 
formly unamiable  and  then  I  could  deal  with  her.  I 
wonder  if  Mrs.  David  could  find  her  a  post  on  the 
strength  of  her  German." 

"Is  it  good?"  I  asked. 

"Not  at  all,  but  English  people  will  not  know  that." 

I  nearly  said  that  they  would  know  she  spoke 
Whitechapel  English,  but  I  did  not  want  to  do  Miss 
Campbell  any  harm.  She  had  her  living  to  earn. 

"Of  course  anyone  can  see  what  the  trouble  is," 
continued  Frau  Crefeld.  "She  is  crazy  about  Mr. 
Hope  and  I  am  afraid  that  he  positively  dislikes  her. 
Silly  goose!  She  is  forty  if  she  is  a  day." 

I  was  glad  that  I  did  not  have  to  reply  as  we  were 
getting  near  the  car  and  might  have  been  heard.  The 
spectacle  of  Miss  Campbell's  infatuation  had  dis- 
tressed me  all  day  and  I  did  not  want  to  discuss  it. 
Mr.  Hope  insisted  on  taking  the  seat  next  to  the 


282  IRON   COUSINS 

chauffeur  on  the  way  home  so  we  went  back  as  we 
had  come.  But  the  air  was  cool  now  and  the  dust 
laid  on  the  roads.  When  we  got  back  to  Hamburg 
Frau  Crefeld  asked  Mr.  Hope  and  me  to  stay  to 
supper  and  we  had  an  agreeable  evening  which  Herr 
Crefeld  only  disturbed  for  a  moment  by  saying  that 
he  did  not  like  the  news  that  reached  him  from 
Berlin.  Something  was  brewing  there.  Preparations 
were  being  made  very  quietly  and  secretly.  People 
were  restless  and  expectant.  Then  for  a  few  minutes 
the  talk  turned  on  war  and  on  the  way  it  would  upset 
things  for  a  sort  time  if  it  came.  I  did  not  feel  much 
interested  and  was  glad  when  we  went  on  to  discuss 
our  summer  plans  which  seemed  to  concern  us  more 
nearly  than  politics  and  money-markets.  The  Crefelds 
were  going  to  the  Black  Forest  after  Bayreuth  and 
suggested  that  I  should  go  with  them.  I  said  I  would, 
gladly,  and  Mr.  Hope  said  he  would  join  us  there  in 
August.  Miss  Campbell  displayed  her  acquaintance 
with  Auerbach's  novels  and  incidentally  my  ignorance. 
I  had  not  read  Barfiissele. 

"But  it's  an  idyl,"  she  piped  affectedly,  "an  idyl. 
I  have  a  special  interest  in  it  because  when  I  was 
a  little  girl  I  loved  to  run  about  barefoot  and  my 
uncle,  a  most  dignified  and  wealthy  man,  caught  me 
so  one  day  and  ever  after  called  me  Barfiissele.  It 
became  my  pet  name.  I  am  not  sure  that  when  I  see 
the  old  thatched  eaves  and  the  forest  and  the  village 
street  I  shall  not  think  myself  a  child  again  and  whip 
off  my  shoes  and  stockings  and  dance  for  joy.  I  am 
not  at  all  ashamed  of  my  feet." 

I  did  not  mean  to  catch  Frau  Cref eld's  eye,  but  it 
happened.  So  I  got  up  rather  hurriedly  and  bid  good- 
night. 


XXXVIII 

CASPAR  did  not  commit  suicide.  He  married 
Elsa  on  the  appointed  day,  made  a  merry 
speech  at  the  bridal  banquet  and  departed  for 
a  honeymoon  in  the  Tyrol  in  the  best  of  spirits.  I 
did  not  go  to  the  wedding  but  I  was  told  about  it  by 
the  Plessens  when  I  went  to  see  them  early  in  July. 
They  were  all  going  to  Schondorf  again  although 
Herr  Plessen  looked  gloomy  and  said  that  the  Serajevo 
murders  might  lead  to  war.  I  said  I  hoped  not,  much 
as  you  say  you  hope  there  won't  be  an  earthquake 
in  Central  Asia  or  a  revolution  in  Chili.  You  know 
that  violent  events  must  be  uncomfortable  for  some- 
body, but  when  you  have  always  lived  in  Chelsea  it 
is  difficult  to  imagine  what  a  storm  center  really  means 
to  those  engulfed  in  it.  I  had  promised  to  go  to  the 
Black  Forest  with  the  Crefelds  and  then  to  the 
Italian  Lakes,  where  I  was  to  meet  the  Davids  and  the 
Saddingtons.  After  that  I  supposed  I  should  go  back 
to  Chelsea  and  perhaps  stay  with  the  Davids  while 
I  decided  what  to  do  about  the  contents  of  Aunt 
Susan's  house  which  were  mine  now.  Mrs.  David 
took  for  granted  that  I  could  not  live  there  alone  and 
I  did  not  think  I  wanted  to.  I  hardly  knew  what  I 
wanted,  but  I  knew  what  I  did  not  want  and  that  was 
to  see  Miss  Campbell  about  five  times  a  week.  She 
did  not  like  me  and  I  did  not  like  her.  There  was 
283 


284  IRON   COUSINS 

no  pretence  of  friendship  between  us.  Yet  we  were 
forever  meeting  and  when  we  met  she  confided  in 
me.  I  did  not  want  her  confidences;  I  tried  to  stop 
them.  But  I  might  as  well  have  tried  to  stop  a 
shower  of  rain.  They  were  poured  forth  when  we 
met  at  the  Crefelds  and  sometimes  when  we  met  by 
chance  and  when  she  came  uninvited  and  unencouraged 
to  see  me. 

"I  have  no  doubts  now,"  she  said  one  afternoon. 
"If  I  doubted  before  I  could  do  so  no  longer  after 
last  night." 

I  did  not  ask  her  what  had  happened.  It  was  not 
necessary.  I  knew  that  I  should  be  told  in  detail  un- 
less I  turned  her  out  of  the  room,  and  I  was  not 
prepared  to  go  those  lengths.  It  resolved  itself  this 
time  into  the  recapitulation  of  a  dialogue  that  seemed 
to  be  inadequate,  but  she  said  truly  that  I  had  not 
heard  the  tone  of  his  voice  when  he  addressed  her  as 
"partner"  at  bridge  or  seen  the  meaning  in  his  eyes. 
She  had  taken  a  hand  at  bridge  last  night,  she  ex- 
plained, because  some  man  the  Crefelds  had  expected 
had  disappointed  them  at  the  last  moment. 

"I  didn't  know  you  played  bridge,"  I  said. 

"I  play  extremely  well.  My  brother-in-law  is  a 
brilliant  player  and  he  taught  me.  I  have  an  aptitude 
for  cards.  Some  people  have.  It  is  not  more  to 
their  credit  than  the  color  of  their  eyebrows.  But 
men  like  to  play  with  me.  Last  night  at  the  end  of 
a  rubber  when  we  should  have  cut  for  partners  again 
he  said,  'Why  not  remain  as  we  are  ?' " 

"What  did  you  say?" 

"I  made  some  little  joke  about  not  being  partners 
for  life  just  yet.  I  can  usually  think  of  something 


IRON   COUSINS  285 

witty  to  say.  I  believe  men  value  brains  in  women 
more  than  a  pink  and  white  skin  .  .  .  don't  you?" 

"I've  no  idea,"  I  murmured.  "I  don't  really  know 
much  about  men.  You  see  I  always  lived  with  Aunt 
Susan  .  .  ." 

"You're  a  sly  one !"  she  exclaimed  to  my  amaze- 
ment. "You  must  have  known  a  good  deal  about  one 
man  not  so  long  ago.  I  certainly  thought  that  night 
when  I  found  him  with  you  .  .  ." 

She  paused.  I  went  on  with  a  bit  of  fine  sewing  in 
my  hands  and  I  hope  my  silence  and  my  manner 
showed  her  that  I  was  not  pleased. 

"Tell  me,"  she  continued  insinuatingly.  "Tell  me !" 
How  much  did  Frau  Plessen  know  ?" 

"Know  what?" 

"About  your  relations  with  Herr  Heiling?" 

"What  do  you  mean  by  relations?" 

"Ha-ha !  the  lady  fences.  That  tells  a  tale.  How- 
ever, what  is  ancient  history  shall  not  be  resuscitated 
by  me.  I  can  afford  to  be  generous  ...  I  who  am 
the  happiest  woman  in  the  world.  Tell  me  ...  where 
did  Fraulein  Mieding  buy  her  trousseau?" 

I  told  her  as  far  as  I  knew  and  wondered  at  her 
while  I  sat  there  sewing.  At  moments  I  wanted  to 
kick  her  downstairs  and  at  other  moments  I  felt  more 
moved  by  compassion  than  by  wrath  or  derision.  She 
really  believed,  or  said  she  did,  that  she  was  about 
to  marry  Quentin  Hope,  and  she  talked  of  when  the 
marriage  would  take  place,  where  they  would  go  for 
a  honeymoon  and  where  they  would  live.  I  did  not 
know  what  to  think.  She  spoke  with  absolute  con- 
viction and  yet  avoided  any  test  of  reality.  For  in- 
stance, when  I  asked  her  if  the  Crefelds  knew  what 


286  IRON   COUSINS 

had  happened  she  said  that  she  found  them  both  un- 
sympathetic and  never  talked  to  them  of  her  affairs. 
She  charged  me  to  say  nothing  to  Frau  Crefeld  and 
explained  that  she  wished  to  surprise  them  with  her 
news  when  everything  was  settled.  She  said  that 
she  had  written  to  her  brother-in-law  and  given  him 
an  account  of  Quentin's  financial  position  which  she 
hoped  Mr.  Wolff  would  consider  satisfactory,  and  she 
had  asked  her  sister  to  buy  her  some  boots  and  stock- 
ings in  Paris  as  she  could  not  find  German  ones  that 
displayed  the  elegance  of  her  feet  to  her  contentment. 

"Does  Mr.  Hope  know  that  you  are  taking  these 
steps  towards  your  marriage?"  I  asked.  I  felt  that 
I  wanted  to  say  something  that  would  prick  a  bubble 
and  found  it  more  difficult  than  I  expected.  I  felt 
sure  it  was  a  bubble  and  to  see  the  silly  woman  pursue 
it  made  me  uncomfortable  and  ashamed.  I  hoped  for 
the  sake  of  my  sex  that  Mr.  Hope  did  not  know. 

"We  have  so  few  chances  of  seeing  each  other," 
she  answered.  "I  have  no  wish  to  say  anything 
against  Frau  Crefeld  but  there  is  no  doubt  that  she 
is  jealous.  She  has  always  looked  on  Quentin  as  her 
property  and  the  idea  of  his  marriage  drives  her  to 
fury.  I  should  not  be  greatly  surprised  if  there  was 
Krach  some  day  and  I  left  suddenly." 

"I  suppose  you  would  go  to  Paris,"  I  said. 

"Not  at  all.  I  should  go  straight  to  him.  There 
are  times  when  a  woman  must  take  her  courage  in 
her  hands." 

I  fixed  my  eyes  on  my  sewing  and  was  therefore 
not  looking  out  of  the  window  when  Miss  Campbell 
said  in  an  agitated  tone: 

"There  he  is!    He  has  followed  me  here.     Where 


IRON   COUSINS  287 

can  we  see  each  other?  Will  you  leave  us  or  is  there 
another  room?" 

"There  is  a  salon  which  is  usually  empty,"  I  said. 
"I  shall  stay  here." 

"I  will  go  out  into  the  hall.     I  will  take  him  .  .  ." 

She  was  in  such  a  state  of  fussy  excitement  that 
she  hardly  knew  what  she  was  doing  and  as  she  buzzed 
across  the  room  dropped  her  bag  and  all  its  various 
contents  on  the  floor.  I  could  not  move  quickly  yet, 
but  I  got  up  in  order  to  help  her.  However,  before 
I  reached  her  Mr.  Hope  came  into  the  room,  but 
seemed  about  to  retreat  in  dismay  when  he  saw  Miss 
Campbell  on  her  knees  on  the  floor.  She  was  still 
engaged  in  collecting  the  odd  assortment  of  lozenges, 
hair-pins,  pencils,  keys  and  loose  coins  that  had  rolled 
away  from  her  and  she  remained  on  her  knees  when 
Mr.  Hope,  after  a  moment's  hesitation,  came  further 
into  the  room. 

"See  what  has  happened !"  she  cried.  "I  was  hurry- 
ing out  to  see  you.  Miss  Danvers  says  that  the  salon 
is  at  our  disposal  .  .  ." 

He  took  no  notice  of  what  she  said,  recognized  her 
frostily  and  came  on  to  me.  I  went  back  to  my  chair 
and  he  took  the  one  opposite  me.  I  rather  expected 
Miss  Campbell  to  repeat  her  invitation  to  the  salon 
but  she  did  nothing  of  the  kind.  As  if  Quentin's 
actual  presence  brought  her  down  from  the  fool's 
paradise  in  which  she  allowed  herself  to  dream  when 
he  was  away  she  quietly  took  the  chair  she  had  occu- 
pied before,  joined  in  the  conversation,  seemed  at  first 
determined  to  outstay  him  but  at  last  to  our  relief  got 
up  to  go.  Then,  for  a  moment,  she  played  the  fool 
again. 


288  IRON   COUSINS 

"I  am  walking  back,"  she  said  in  a  wooing  voice. 
"It  is  a  lovely  afternoon."  •** 

As  he  said  nothing  at  all  I  spoke  for  him  and  agreed 
with  her  about  the  weather. 

"Frau  Crefeld  expects  you  this  evening,"  she  went 
on,  addressing  the  irresponsive  young  man. 

"Not  till  eight  o'clock,"  he  said. 

"It  is  now  half  past  six,"  she  said,  consulting  her 
watch. 

"It  is  a  quarter  to  seven,"  said  he,  looking  at  his 
own. 

"You  will  not  walk  with  me?" 

"No,"  he  said. 

He  did  not  give  a  reason  or  excuse  himself  or  tell 
a  white  lie.  He  did  not  deny  her  brutally  or  lose  his 
temper.  But  he  did  not  want  to  walk  back  with  her, 
so  he  would  not  do  it  and  said  so  downrightly.  Per- 
haps he  was  not  adroit  but  he  was  effective.  She 
flounced  out  of  the  room  in  such  a  tantrum  that  she 
forgot  to  say  good-by  to  me,  and  she  banged  the  door 
after  her.  When  she  had  gone  we  were  both  silent 
for  a  moment  and  then  we  talked  of  other  things.  I 
am  sure  she  was  in  his  thoughts  as  she  was  in  mine, 
but  we  did  not  speak  of  her.  We  were  not  intimate 
enough  with  each  other  for  that.  He  asked  me  a 
good  many  questions  about  my  lame  leg  and  I  won- 
dered why  he  was  interested  in  it  until  he  said  that 
he  thought  there  might  be  a  war  and  that  I  might 
want  to  leave  Hamburg  in  a  hurry. 

"But  if  there  is  a  war  it  won't  come  to  Hamburg?" 
I  said.  "I  should  be  as  safe  here  as  anywhere.  How- 
ever, I  am  going  to  the  Black  Forest  in  August.  Will 
there  be  a  war  there?" 


IRON   COUSINS  289 

"It  won't  be  a  joke  wherever  it  is,"  he  said  grimly. 
"I  wish  you  would  go  back  to  England  at  once  .  .  . 
while  you  can  travel  in  comfort." 

"I've  just  told  you  I'm  going  to  the  Black  Forest. 
I  have  my  ticket  and  my  rooms,"  I  said.  I  felt  morti- 
fied. If  I  stampeded  now  to  England  I  should  prob- 
ably never  see  him  again  and  he  seemed  to  envisage 
that  result  of  his  advice  without  a  qualm.  I  did  not; 
but  I  would  have  gone  to  the  stake  rather  than  let 
him  know  it.  I  was  not  going  to  follow  in  Miss 
Campbell's  footsteps. 

"Have  you  any  ready  money?"  he  said  next,  to  my 
amazement  and  discomfiture.  I  did  not  think  when 
he  came  in  that  he  had  come  to  talk  about  money.  I 
hoped  he  had  come  because  he  felt,  as  I  did,  that  we 
liked  being  with  each  other. 

"I  have  money  in  the  bank,"  I  said  rather  stiffly. 

"Take  it  out." 

"I  shall  when  I  want  it  ...  of  course." 

"Take  it  out  to-morrow  .  .  .  and  exchange  most  of 
it  for  English  gold." 

"But  why?  I  suppose  if  there  is  a  war  there  will 
still  be  cakes  and  ale  ...  banks  I  mean  and  business 
as  usual.  I  never  heard  of  a  war  that  disturbed 
daily  life." 

"How  old  are  you?" 

"Twenty-one." 

"Who  looks  after  you  now?" 

"No  one.    I  can  look  after  myself,  I  assure  you." 

He  did  not  contradict  me,  but  his  silence  was 
skeptical.  And  when  he  got  up  to  go  he  told  me 
again  to  take  my  money  out  of  the  bank. 


XXXIX 

ENTER  Miss  Campbell  in  a  state  of  frenzy,  her 
features  twitching,  her  appearance  battered. 
"Money !"  she  cried.     "I  must  have  money. 
I  must  get  away  to-night. 

I  had  not  been  out  for  a  day  or  two  or  seen  any 
papers,  but  I  had  noticed  of  course  that  the  Pension 
was  like  an  ant  heap  disturbed  by  a  brick.  The 
young  men  were  packing  up  and  the  old  ones  were 
recalling  the  events  of  forty-four  years  ago.  The 
women  were  excited  and  either  tearful  or  triumphant, 
and  the  two  friends  who  ran  the  Pension  had  assured 
me  that  I  need  not  disturb  myself  in  any  way.  There 
would  be  a  war  but  it  would  be  over  in  a  few  weeks 
and  while  it  lasted  they  engaged  to  look  after  me  as 
usual.  Traveling  would  be  troublesome  on  account 
of  the  movement  of  troops  and  if  I  took  their  advice 
I  should  give  up  the  Black  Forest  and  stay  peace- 
fully in  Hamburg.  I  had  not  said  yea  or  nay  yet, 
but  I  had  followed  Mr.  Hope's  advice  and  taken  my 
money  out  of  the  bank  three  days  ago.  There  was 
not  much  there  because  I  had  not  put  in  a  check  that 
had  just  arrived,  but  I  had  enough  I  thought  to  pay 
what  I  owed  and  get  back  to  England  if  necessary. 
I  should  not  have  enough,  however,  if  I  lent  money 
to  Miss  Campbell  and  I  asked  her  why  she  did  not 
get  what  she  needed  from  Herr  Crefeld. 
290 


IRON   COUSINS  291 

"He  says  he  cannot.  He  is  very  disobliging,"  she 
assured  me.  She  was  in  a  state  of  panic  evidently, 
her  arrogance  wilted  for  the  moment,  her  nerves  un- 
strung. 

"I  must  get  away  to-night,"  she  repeated.  But  when 
I  asked  her  why,  a  cunning  gleam  came  into  her  eyes 
for  a  moment  and  she  told  me  that  her  sister  in  Paris 
was  mortally  ill. 

"I  must  be  with  her,"  she  said.  "It  is  a  matter  of 
life  and  death.  If  you  lend  me  the  money  I  will 
return  it  the  day  I  arrive." 

I  still  hesitated,  for,  to  put  it  plainly,  I  did  not  believe 
her,  and  I  did  not  understand  why  she  was  so  urgent. 

"I  think  of  staying  here,"  I  began. 

"Then  you  can  lend  me  the  money." 

I  think  I  should  have  refused  if  she  had  not  been 
in  such  a  state  of  terror  and  excitement.  Her  eyes 
were  starting  out  of  her  head,  her  color  was  greenish 
where  it  was  usually  only  sallow  and  her  voice  chat- 
tered uncontrollably.  After  all  it  was  not  like  giving 
her  my  cup  of  water  when  I  was  dying  of  thirst.  It 
was  not  yielding  my  chances  of  life  to  her  or,  indeed, 
doing  anything  generous  or  heroic.  At  any  rate  I 
did  not  think  so  because  at  the  moment  I  did  not 
know  in  any  way  what  war  between  England  and 
Germany  would  entail,  and  there  is  nothing  good  or 
bad,  but  thinking  makes  it  so.  I  felt  unwilling  to 
lend  her  my  money  because  I  disliked  her  and  did 
not  expect  to  see  it  again,  and  I  felt  rather  mean 
and  grudging  as  I  unlocked  the  drawer  where  I  kept 
it  and  asked  her  how  much  she  required.  When  I 
had  given  it  to  her  I  had  not  much  left. 

"I  suppose  things  will  settle  down  in  a  day  or  two/' 


292  IRON   COUSINS 

I  said.  "Herr  Crefeld  will  cash  me  a  check  if  I 
want  it." 

"No  doubt !  No  doubt !"  she  muttered,  and  shuffled 
hastily  out  of  the  room  after  assuring  me  with  the 
air  of  one  conferring  a  favor  that  my  money  would 
be  returned  to  me  by  her  brother-in-law  directly  she 
arrived  in  Paris. 

When  she  had  gone  I  began  to  wonder  whether  I 
had  been  a  fool,  and  for  more  than  an  hour  I  sat 
beside  my  window  in  a  confused  and  tumultuous  state 
of  mind  that  I  should  find  difficult  to  describe  in  my 
old-fashioned  way.  I  will  therefore  attempt  it  in 
the  new  fashion  and  I  hope  at  any  rate  to  suggest  that 
my  thoughts  were  various  and  incoherent. 

Miss  Campbell.  Twitching  face.  Terror.  Hot 
day.  Slanting  sunbeams.  Dirty  bank  notes.  Smell 
of  roasting  meat.  Shrill  steamer  whistles.  Sun  on  the 
water.  Tramp  of  feet  outside.  Railway  station. 
Crowds.  Lame  leg.  War.  Troops.  Men  saying 
good-by.  Women  screeching.  B elegies  Butterbrod 
at  stations.  Brass  bands.  Battles.  Blood.  Wounds. 
August  sun  .  .  .  England.  Big  clean-limbed  men. 
Cockneys.  Chelsea  Embankment.  Our  little  square 
and  the  quiet  house  in  it.  English  people  again.  Ex- 
citement. English  newspapers.  Crowds.  No  money. 
This  room  a  refuge  whatever  happens.  People  on 
steamboats.  Dust.  Heat.  The  Schondorf  woods. 
Plessens.  Trudi.  Trudi  at  war  with  England.  Per- 
haps! Nonsense.  Who  makes  wars  since  no  one 
wants  them  ?  Caspar !  Will  he  have  to  fight  ?  Russia ! 
Rather  near  Hamburg.  No  danger  to  non-combatants 
now-a-days.  The  world  civilized  and  humane. 
Bayonets.  Quentin!  Wonder  if  he  has  gone.  Miss 
Campbell.  Curious  thing  terror.  Stronger  passion 


IRON   COUSINS  293 

than  love  in  some  natures  .  .  .  not  in  all  ...  not 
even  in  animals.  Wonder  if  I'm  a  coward!  Who 
knows.  Her  gloves  were  dirty  and  her  veil  torn. 
Usually  neat  but  never  what  the  Germans  call  ap- 
petizing. Like  our  English  word  dainty  better.  Eng- 
land. Begin  to  wish  I  was  there.  After  all  if  there 
is  a  war  .  .  .  one's  own  country  .  .  .  suppose  I  am 
a  fool  .  .  .  Black  Forest.  Wish  I  had  someone  be- 
longing to  me  ...  a  brother  or  even  an  uncle  .  .  . 
here  in  Hamburg.  Ought  to  be  self-reliant  .  .  . 
modern  woman  .  .  .  suffragettes  .  .  .  Isabella.  Troops 
marching  past  the  house  and  singing  Deutschland 
iiber  Alles.  Very  proper  sentiment  for  Germans. 
.  .  .  Means  my  country  before  myself  .  .  .  not  what 
English  people  think  it  means.  .  .  .  Quentin  wanted 
me  to  go  back  a  week  ago  .  .  .  wish  he  ...  but  he 
didn't  .  .  .  put  that  out  of  my  mind  anyhow  .  .  . 
not  so  easy  ...  is  there  a  line  about  the  big  fire 
putting  out  a  lesser  .  .  .  but  it  never  was  a  fire  .  .  . 
just  dilly-dally  .  .  .  wish  .  .  .Oh  damn !  Quentin !" 

He  walked  into  the  room  unannounced,  and  as  if 
he  had  no  time  to  lose.  He  did  not  look  like  Miss 
Campbell,  panic-stricken,  but  he  looked  grave  and 
tired. 

"I  could  not  come  before,"  he  said.  "What  ar- 
rangements have  you  made?" 

"None!"  I  answered.  "I  am  going  to  stay  here. 
I  shall  be  quite  safe." 

"I  dare  say  you'll  be  safe,  but  if  England  comes 
in  you'll  be  made  uncomfortable  in  various  ways. 
The  Germans  are  not  accommodating  when  they  are 
angry  and  if  they  find  themselves  up  against  us  they 
are  going  to  be  very  angry." 

"But  after  all  ...  what  could  they  do  to  me?" 


294  IRON   COUSINS 

He  sat  down  opposite  me. 

"Of  course  it's  not  my  business,"  he  said.  "I've 
no  authority  over  you.  If  I  had  .  .  ." 

"Yes!  If  you  had  ..."  I  wanted  him  to  finish 
because  the  idea  was  a  pleasant  and  restful  one  al- 
though of  course  not  one  for  me  to  dwell  on. 

"I  should  take  you  back  to  England  with  me  to- 
night." 

"To-night!" 

"By  to-morrow  it  may  be  difficult  .  .  .  perhaps  im- 
possible." 

Both  his  manner  and  his  advice  surprised  me. 

"Do  you  mean  to  say  that  I  might  be  prevented 
from  traveling  if  I  wanted  to?"  I  cried. 

"You  would  probably  not  be  allowed  to  leave  Ger- 
many till  the  war  was  over.  You  would  be  under 
police  supervision,  suspected  of  being  a  spy  .  .  .  per- 
haps without  money." 

"For  weeks  and  weeks?" 

"Weeks?    Who  knows?    Years  perhaps." 

I  looked  at  him  incredulously,  but  even  for  weeks 
the  idea  of  police  supervision  was  uncomfortable. 
The  police  existed  in  order  to  help  and  safeguard 
people  like  me,  not  to  supervise  and  I  had  heard 
stories  of  the  German  police,  of  their  insolence  and 
brutality.  I  had  not  come  across  it  seriously,  but  I 
could  imagine  what  it  might  be  from  a  single  inter- 
view that  had  been  necessary  when  I  had  to  explain 
at  the  Police  Office  that  I  had  not  provided  myself 
with  a  passport. 

"Did  you  take  your  money  out  of  the  bank,"  he 
asked.  "There  is  no  money  to  be  got  anywhere  to- 
day." 


IRON   COUSINS  295 

"Then  that  settles  it,"  I  said.  "I  can't  go.  I  have 
an  English  check  for  a  hundred  pounds  .  .  ." 

"No  one  would  cash  it." 

"I  suppose  Herr  Crefeld  would." 

He  tried  to  explain  the  state  of  affairs  to  me:  the 
sudden  financial  panic  that  would  probably  right  itself 
but  that  made  it  impossible  even  for  a  rich  man  like 
Herr  Crefeld  to  go  to  the  bank  and  get  bare  cash 
there.  I  did  not  understand,  but  I  told  him  that  I 
only  had  enough  in  the  house  to  pay  for  my  Pension. 
He  said  it  did  not  matter.  He  had  enough  for  us 
both  and  I  could  borrow  from  him;  and  I,  thinking 
it  did  not  matter,  told  him  of  Miss  Campbell's  visit 
and  of  my  loan  to  her.  But  he  looked  rather  angry 
when  he  heard  of  it. 

"She  was  going  off  with  your  money  and  leaving 
you  here  without  a  penny !"  he  said. 

"I  suppose  she  thought  the  Crefelds  would  look 
after  me." 

"They  have  gone  to  Berlin.    Didn't  she  tell  you?" 

"No  ...  but  there  is  the  post." 

"You  won't  want  the  post.  You  are  going  to  let 
me  take  you  to  England.  It  is  six  o'clock.  I'll  come 
for  you  at  ten.  Don't  try  to  bring  anything  but  a 
hand-bag." 

"But  what  will  happen  to  my  things?" 

"You'll  probably  lose  them." 

"All  my  books!" 

"You'll  buy  new  ones." 

I  hesitated. 

"If  I  stayed  here  .  .  ."I  began,  but  he  would  not 
listen. 

"Ten  o'clock,"  he  said  again,  and  I  knew  that  I 
should  be  ready. 


XL 


WE  hardly  spoke  as  we  drove  to  the  station  in 
the  Crefelds'  car.  Mr.  Hope  had  told  me 
when  he  came  that  he  had  luckily  been  able  to 
borrow  it,  otherwise  we  should  have  had  to  walk  and 
take  trams.  It  was  impossible  to  get  a  taxi.  I  did 
not  try  to  break  in  on  his  silence  because  I  had  seen 
that  he  was  anxious  and  pre-occupied,  and  I  won- 
dered whether  the  war  was  upsetting  his  business 
arrangements  and  perhaps  his  future  plans.  It  is  diffi- 
cult now,  after  nearly  five  years,  to  realize  how 
ignorant  most  of  us  were  of  what  was  coming  and 
how  slightly  stirred.  I  had  thought  it  annoying  to 
leave  clothes  and  books  behind,  but  I  imagined  they 
would  be  sent  after  me  and  I  had  packed  everything 
I  wished  to  keep  in  a  big  trunk.  I  need  hardly  say 
that  I  have  not  seen  it  from  that  day  to  this.  As  I 
was  obliged  to  travel  with  what  I  stood  up  in  I 
naturally  put  on  the  best  things  I  had;  the  best  things 
suitable  for  traveling,  I  mean.  I  had  come  across 
the  bridesmaid's  dress  I  had  worn  at  Isabella's  wed- 
ding and  never  once  since,  but  of  course  I  had  not 
been  able  to  bring  that  or  my  books  or  the  furs  the 
Plessens  had  given  me  at  Christmas.  I  did  think 
of  bringing  them,  but  it  was  a  hot  summer  night  and 
I  decided  that  they  would  be  in  the  way.  I  thought 
that  I  myself,  with  my  more  or  less  lame  leg,  was 
296 


IRON   COUSINS  297 

enough  of  an  undertaking  under  the  circumstances,  so 
I  only  packed  the  few  valuables  I  possessed  and  what 
I  should  need  for  a  night  in  the  train  in  a  small 
leather  dispatch  box  I  could  carry.  But  when  Mr. 
Hope  saw  me  he  said  I  ought  to  have  a  warm  wrap 
for  the  boat  so  I  unlocked  my  trunk  and  took  out  the 
fur  coat  Mrs.  David  had  given  me  when  I  left  London 
more  than  a  year  ago. 

"I'm  glad  I'm  going  back  to  England,"  I  said  as 
we  neared  the  station,  for  when  I  saw  its  lights  I  felt 
moved  and  uplifted  by  the  thought  of  being  in  my 
own  country  again. 

"I  am  glad,  too,"  said  Mr.  Hope,  and  he  seemed 
to  me  to  put  an  avowal  into  his  voice  and  into  his 
eyes  and  smile:  an  avowal  for  which  he  had  found 
no  words  yet  but  which  startled  and  rejoiced  me.  I 
got  out  of  the  car  and  waited  where  he  told  me  in 
the  crowded  station,  my  thoughts  whirling,  my  mood 
dreamy  and  dazzled.  I  saw  the  distracted,  panic- 
stricken  crowd  through  the  veil  of  my  own  happiness 
and  their  antics  seemed  far  away.  Such  stuff  as 
dreams  are  made  of.  The  reality  that  mattered  just 
then  was  a  memory  and  I  sat  there  warmed  and 
enclosed  by  it. 

It  gave  me  a  disagreeable  shock  suddenly  to  see 
Miss  Campbell  coming  towards  me,  an  enormous  green 
hold-all  in  one  hand  and  a  bright  blue  portmanteau 
in  the  other,  both  as  evidently  made  in  Germany  as 
to  my  mind  she  was  herself.  She  dumped  the  port- 
manteau at  my  feet,  let  the  hold-all  down  so  clumsily 
that  it  pitched  against  me  and  uttered  a  loud  groan. 

"He  is  bringing  the  other  things,"  she  said. 

I  wondered  what  she  meant. 


298  IRON    COUSINS 

"I  have  been  here  more  than  an  hour,"  she  said. 
"I  ordered  the  car  for  8.30.  When  I  heard  that  he 
wanted  it  at  9.30  and  was  coming  here  I  naturally 
waited.  I  cannot  understand  why  he  did  not  tell  me. 
How  did  you  get  here  and  where  are  you  going?" 

"I  am  going  back  to  England." 

"You  said  this  afternoon  that  you  would  stay  on  in 
Hamburg." 

"I  changed  my  mind." 

'"But  how  did  you  get  to  the  station?" 

"In  the  Crefelds'  car.    Mr.  Hope  fetched  me." 

A  gleam  of  surprise  and  annoyance  crossed  Re- 
bekah-Rosamund's  face  for  a  moment  but  she  spoke 
with  benevolent  patronage. 

"Quite  right.  I  am  sure  Herr  Crefeld  would  have 
been  willing  that  you  should  use  his  car.  Then  I 
suppose  we  may  see  something  of  you  on  the  journey." 

"But  I  thought  you  were  going  to  Paris?" 

"No.  I,  too,  have  changed  my  mind.  I  am  going 
to  London.  He  wishes  it.  When  I  asked  him  just 
now  to  take  my  ticket  for  me  he  said  'With  pleasure/ 
It  is  astonishing  how  much  a  man  can  express  in 
two  words  when  he  puts  his  whole  heart  into  them." 

I  had  no  doubt  of  whom  she  was  speaking  and  I 
had  no  doubt  that  one  of  us  was  living  in  a  fool's 
paradise.  Here  was  I  happy  in  the  memory  of  a  look 
and  here  was  she  putting  heaven  knows  what  meaning 
into  two  formal  words.  The  situation  was  absurd, 
undignified  and,  for  one  of  us,  distressing.  I  wanted 
it  cleared  up. 

"Have  you  friends  in  London?"  I  asked. 

"I  shall  have  one  friend,"  she  answered  fatuously. 
"I  shall  not  need  more." 


IRON   COUSINS  299 

I  did  not  know  what  to  say.  I  felt  sure  she  was 
mistaken  but  I  could  not  see  that  it  was  my  business 
to  tell  her  so.  Besides  she  would  not  have  believed 
me.  I  cannot  remember  that  I  felt  in  the  least  angry 
with  her,  or  jealous,  or  even  inclined  to  laugh.  She 
seemed  to  me  like  a  creature  ridden  by  a  hallucina- 
tion from  which  facts  would  wake  her  roughly  before 
long,  and  as  I  believed  that  I  should  play  a  part  in 
the  awakening,  a  part  she  would  grudge  and  resent, 
I  was  in  no  great  hurry  to  open  her  eyes.  But  I  did 
wish  to  make  sure  that  my  own  were  steady. 

Before  either  of  us  spoke  again  Mr.  Hope  appeared, 
carrying  a  heavy  portmanteau  as  well  as  his  own 
small  suit-case. 

"I  am  sure  they  will  not  let  you  travel  with  all 
this  luggage,"  he  said  to  Miss  Campbell.  "They  are 
only  allowing  people  to  take  what  they  can  carry  in 
their  hands." 

Just  then  the  crowd  made  a  rush  in  which  we  found 
ourselves  involved  and  Mr.  Hope  turned  to  me. 

"Are  you  sure  you  can  keep  on  your  feet  if  you 
take  my  arm  ?"  he  said,  and  he  managed  to  make  way 
for  me  as  a  tall,  strong  man  can  without  hustling  his 
neighbors  unfairly  or  allowing  them  to  hustle  us.  We 
soon  found  ourselves  separated  from  Miss  Campbell. 

"Will  she  be  all  right?"  I  said,  trying  to  see  her 
behind  us  but  finding  that  other  travelers  had  pushed 
between. 

"I  hope  so,"  he  said,  and  then  he  added:  "I'm 
going  to  look  after  you."  My  arm  was  close  against 
his  side  as  we  pressed  on  and  he  accented  what  he 
said  by  holding  it  still  more  tightly  to  him  for  a 
moment. 


300  IRON   COUSINS 

"I  thought  she  was  going  to  Paris,"  I  said. 

"I  wish  she  had,"  said  he,  and  set  my  mind  at 
rest. 

When  we  got  to  the  waitingroom  in  which  pas- 
sengers' luggage  was  weighed,  we  were  told  as  we 
had  expected  that  Miss  Campbell's  portmanteau  could 
not  go  with  us.  And  some  time  after  we  were  safely 
in  the  train  Miss  Campbell,  deprived  of  everything 
except  her  hold-all,  found  us  out.  She  talked  of 
nothing  but  her  losses  till  we  reached  the  Dutch 
frontier.  All  night  she  talked  of  what  she  had  lost 
and  of  what  she  would  claim  from  the  city  of  Ham- 
burg through  her  influential  friends  and  relations  and 
of  the  inconvenience  she  was  about  to  suffer  when 
she  arrived  in  London  without  her  possessions.  Every- 
one in  the  compartment,  probably  everyone  in  the 
train,  had  suffered  equally  with  her,  but  you  would 
have  thought  to  hear  her  that  no  one  else  possessed 
anything  they  cherished,  or  could  feel  inconvenienced 
or  bereaved.  She  also  complained  loudly  and  often 
of  the  crowded  compartment,  the  heat,  the  frequent 
tedious  stoppages  and  the  want  of  refreshments  when 
she  expected  to  find  some.  It  certainly  was  a  trying 
journey,  for  we  missed  our  connections  over  and  over 
again  through  having  to  wait  at  sidings  while  troop 
trains  went  through,  and  finally  we  missed  the  morn- 
ing boat  at  Flushing,  but  the  further  we  got  and  the 
more  I  heard  other  people  talk  of  what  was  happen- 
ing the  more  thankful  I  felt  to  be  in  a  train  at  all, 
a  train  carrying  me  quite  decidedly  out  of  Germany 
and  towards  England.  I  listened  drowsily  to  the  talk 
between  Mr.  Hope  and  another  Englishman  opposite 
him  and  they  were  both  agreed  that  if  they  had 


IRON    COUSINS  301 

waited  another  twelve  hours  they  might  not  have  got 
away  at  all.  Civilian  traffic  would  probably  be 
stopped  for  a  time  and  when  it  was  resumed,  if  we 
had  come  into  the  war,  the  position  of  English  people 
in  Germany  would  be  that  of  alien  enemies,  disagree- 
able, and  in  many  cases,  dangerous. 

It  was  hot,  it  was  dusty,  it  was  noisy,  and  yet  at 
intervals  I  slept.  So  did  Miss  Campbell,  with  her 
mouth  open  and  snoring,  but  she  said  in  the  morning 
that  she  had  not  closed  an  eye  all  night.  I  felt  dazed 
by  all  I  had  heard  and  seen  of  the  war  since  I  left 
Hamburg:  by  the  sight  of  every  station  we  passed 
crowded  with  gray  uniforms,  by  the  sound  of  those 
trampling  feet  and  shouting  voices,  by  the  insolence 
of  some  Jacks-in-office  who  would  have  hauled  Miss 
Campbell  and  me  out  of  the  train  because  we  had 
no  passports  and  were  only  prevented  by  Mr.  Hope 
producing  his  passport  and  his  assurance  that  we 
really  were  women  and  not  fighting  men  in  petticoats 
and  that  we  were  traveling  with  him.  That  was  a 
near  squeak,  and  I  wondered  what  would  have  hap- 
pened if  I  had  been  left  with  Miss  Campbell  at  a 
German  wayside  station  with  no  money  in  my  pos- 
session except  a  useless  English  check. 

"You  would  not  have  been  left,"  said  Mr.  Hope. 
"I  am  going  to  see  you  safe  home  ...  if  you  are 
going  home." 

"I  don't  know  yet  where  I  am  going,"  I  said. 

"I  am  in  the  same  predicament,"  said  Miss  Camp- 
bell. 

We  were  sitting  close  to  each  other  on  the  deck 
of  the  steamer  which  was  so  crowded  that  you  had 
to  sit  close  to  your  neighbors.  Luckily  it  was  a  fine 


302  IRON   COUSINS 

night  and  though  we  were  packed  like  sardines  the 
sea  air  refreshed  and  braced  us  after  the  long  suffo- 
cating night  and  day  in  the  trains.  I  think  everyone 
felt  as  we  did  ourselves,  relieved  to  be  out  of  German 
trains  and  on  an  English  boat,  and  though  I  should 
not  have  admitted  it  aloud  I  rather  agreed  with  the 
girl  who  said  she  wanted  to  kiss  all  the  English 
sailors,  old  and  young.  It  was  pleasant  to  hear  one's 
own  tongue  again  and  to  be  amongst  one's  own  people 
and  at  sea  with  Englishmen.  We  had  had  hot  coffee 
and  bacon  for  breakfast  and  were  recovering  from 
the  alarms  and  excursions  of  our  escape.  Mr.  Hope 
had  steered  me  through  the  luggage  laden  crush  of 
passengers  hurrying  from  the  train  to  the  steamer 
and  had  found  seats  for  us  when  there  seemed  to  be 
no  seats  left  for  anyone. 

"I  tried  to  send  telegrams  yesterday,"  I  explained, 
"but  I  was  told  that  all  the  lines  were  blocked.  Two 
were  taken  but  no  guarantee  of  dispatch  or  arrival 
was  given.  I  think  I  shall  go  to  Mrs.  David 
first  .  .  ." 

"I  will  come  with  you,"  said  Miss  Campbell. 

I  looked  at  her  in  astonishment. 

"Do  you  know  her?"  I  asked. 

"Not  exactly,"  she  admitted,  "but  the  Crefelds  knew 
her  well  and  I  come  from  them.  At  such  a  time  as 
this  nothing  more  is  necessary.  They  are  rich  people. 
They  can  take  me  in  for  a  few  days  till  my  plans 
are  made." 

She  looked  at  Mr.  Hope  as  she  spoke  but  he  looked 
at  the  sea  and  said  nothing. 

"I  think  if  you  go  to  the  Davids  I  will  go  to  my 


IRON   COUSINS  303 

own  house  in  Chelsea,"  I  said.     "Perhaps  two  un- 
expected guests  .  .  ." 

"Where  is  your  house  in  Chelsea?"  she  asked, 
gave  her  the  address.     I  thought  perhaps  she  wanted 
it  in  order  to  return  the  money  she  had  borrowed. 


XLI 

TIBBIE  opened  the  door  to  me  and  her  hard- 
featured  north-country  face  showed  as  much 
pleasure  as  she  ever  considered  it  seemly  to 
show. 

"Ye've  come  back  then?"  she  said,  and  her  glance 
traveled  towards  my  companion  who  had  his  back 
turned  for  the  moment  and  was  speaking  to  the  taxi- 
driver. 

"I  thowt  you  would  ..."  she  said.  "Yo're  not 
married,  are  yo  ?" 

I  was  afraid  Quentin  would  hear  and  turned  hastily 
to  see  how  near  he  was.  If  he  had  heard,  his  face 
remained  impassive  as  he  told  me  that  he  was  going 
on  to  a  hotel  near,  but  would  like  to  see  me  again 
this  afternoon. 

"Could  I  come  about  tea-time?"  he  suggested,  and 
I  said  he  could. 

Then  Tibbie  took  me  indoors  and  talked  to  me  a 
little  about  Aunt  Susan  and  I  told  her  about  the 
journey  we  had  had  and  how  the  war  was  turning 
everything  upside  down  already.  She  said  she  knew 
it  because  on  Saturday  the  butcher  who  always  cashed 
my  checks  for  her  refused  to  cash  my  last  one,  so 
that  she  had  no  money  in  the  house  and  very  little 
food.  All  the  shops  would  be  shut  because  it  was 
Bank  Holiday  and  there  was  nothing  to  be  bought 
304 


IRON   COUSINS  305 

but  newspapers  which  the  little  boys  were  offering  us 
this  moment  in  the  street  below. 

"GERMAN  ULTIMATUM  TO  BELGIUM,  GERMANY 
AND  RUSSIA." 

Their  shrill  voices  reached  us  through  the  open 
window  of  the  drawing-room  as  we  stayed  there  and 
talked.  It  looked  just  the  same  as  on  the  day  I  left 
it,  more  than  a  year  ago,  only  Aunt  Susan's  chair 
was  empty  and  the  little  every-day  things  she  had 
used,  her  spectacles,  her  writing-case,  her  ordered 
work-basket  would  never  be  used  again.  I  felt  her 
presence  and  the  loss  of  her  here  more  vividly  than 
I  had  felt  it  yet,  and  I  wished  that  she  had  lived  to 
receive  my  confidence  and  rejoice  with  me. 

"It's  an  awfu'  thing  this  war,"  said  Tibbie.  "If 
someone  don't  stop  it  our  young  chaps'll  be  killed. 
Killed!  I  saw  the  Kayser  last  time  he  came  over 
...  on  the  Embankment.  The  old  Queen  would 
never  have  stood  his  nonsense.  When  he  started 
prancing  she  had  the  navy  out  .  .  .  she  did.  You 
don't  remember,  but  I  do.  He's  mad,  he  is.  Who's 
that  coming  here  now  in  a  taxi  .  .  .  with  luggage 
...  a  lady  .  .  .  looks  like  a  furriner  .  .  ." 

I  looked  out  of  the  window,  too,  and  saw,  as  I 
knew  I  should,  Miss  Campbell  with  her  hold-all.  A 
prolonged  resounding  knock  caused  Tibbie  to  move 
stiffly  downstairs  again  while  I  thought  I  knew  what 
Sinbad  the  Sailor  had  felt  like,  and  remember  that 
I  could  not  give  her  money  to  go  elsewhere  because 
I  had  none  in  my  possession.  She  entered  with  a 
jaunty  air  that  was  a  trifle  forced  and  said  that  the 
Davids  were  at  Brighton. 


306  IRON   COUSINS 

"I  could  not  very  well  insist  on  staying  in  their 
house  while  they  were  away,"  she  said.  "I  dare  say 
many  people  would  have  done  so  but  I  preferred  to 
come  here.  It  cannot  be  for  long." 

I  was  glad  to  hear  that  but  doubted  the  premises 
on  which  she  based  her  conclusion. 

"I'm  afraid  there  is  nothing  much  to  eat  in  the 
house,"  I  said.  "I  was  not  expected  and  it  is  Bank 
Holiday  and  none  of  us  have  any  money  .  .  .  what 
can  you  give  us,  Tibbie?  I'm  not  hungry  .  .  .  only 
tired.  I  want  to  go  to  bed  for  a  few  hours." 

"Quite  a  sensible  idea,"  said  Miss  Campbell.  "After 
the  night  we  had  a  little  beauty  sleep  is  indicated." 

I  give  the  phrases  she  used.  I  hated  them  unrea- 
sonably. Indicated ! 

"As  for  food,"  she  went  on  graciously,  "we  must 
make  the  best  of  things.  If  you  will  give  me  the 
name  of  my  friend's  hotel  I  will  indite  a  telegram 
which  one  of  your  servants  can  take  to  the  post  for 
me,  suggesting  that  we  should  dine  with  him  to- 
night." 

"Bank  'Oliday!"  snapped  Tibbie,  who  was  taking 
Miss  Campbell's  measure  with  extreme  disfavor. 
"Post  office  shut." 

"But  why  should  I  be  inconvenienced  because  the 
mob  wants  its  'oliday?"  inquiry  Miss  Campbell, 
mimicking  Tibbie  and  causing  the  old  woman  to 
frown  more  deeply  than  before.  "However,  I  can 
telephone.  I  suppose  you  have  one  in  the  house?" 

She  did  not  try  to  hide  her  vexation  and  her  con- 
tempt when  I  told  her  I  had  not,  and  also  that  I 
did  not  know  the  name  of  Mr.  Hope's  hotel. 

"But  in  that  case  I  cannot  reach  him  and  he  will 


IRON   COUSINS  307 

look  for  me  in  Fitzjohn  Avenue,"  she  said.  "How 
very  annoying." 

I  did  not  tell  her  that  he  was  coming  here  this 
afternoon  because  I  found  I  could  not  speak  of  him 
to  her.  I  said  thit  I  was  dog-tired  and  wished  to 
rest  and  I  asked  Tibbie  to  get  our  rooms  ready  as 
quickly  as  she  could.  While  we  waited  Miss  Camp- 
bell stared  round  the  drawing-room  with  a  depre- 
ciatory eye  and  told  me  exactly  how  her  sister's  salon 
in  Paris  was  furnished  and  what  the  Persian  carpet 
in  it  had  cost.  Her  voice  began  to  drone  in  my  ears 
and  I  could  hardly  keep  my  eyes  open,  but  when 
Tibbie  returned  I  accompanied  my  self-invited  guest 
to  the  spare  room  and  made  sure  that  everything  she 
needed  was  there. 

"Very  nice,"  she  said  patronizingly,  "but  where  is 
your  bathroom?  After  a  journey  the  first  thing  I 
require  is  a  hot  bath." 

"Yo*  can't  'ave  it,"  said  Tibbie,  who  stood  by,  "no 
kitchen  fire." 

"A  caretaker,  I  presume,"  said  Miss  Campbell  as 
Tibbie  hobbled  off.  "I  suppose  you  will  get  civilized 
servants  at  once." 

I  did  not  tell  her  that  Tibbie  had  lived  with  Aunt 
Susan  for  forty  years  and  that  I  had  never  had  to 
do  with  any  other  servant  except  in  other  people's 
houses.  I  did  not  tell  her,  partly  because  I  was  too 
tired  to  argue  and  partly  because  I  resented  her  tone 
as  one's  body  resents  a  nightmare.  I  wanted  her  to 
go.  I  wanted  never  to  see  her  again.  I  hoped  Mrs. 
David  would  come  soon  and  help  me  get  rid  of  her, 
humanely,  but  for  good.  This  was  my  house  and 
she  brought  into  it  what  did  not  belong  there:  ar- 


3o8  IRON   COUSINS 

rogance  and  ill  will.  I  wished  her  pleasant  dreams 
and  escaped  to  my  own  room. 

I  slept  for  six  hours  and  should  have  gone  on 
sleeping  if  Tibbie  had  not  roused  me.  The  gentleman 
had  called,  she  said,  and  it  was  tea-time.  She  brought 
me  hot  water  and  my  tweed  skirt  well  brushed  and 
she  told  me  she  had  baked  scones  for  tea.  She  looked 
taken  aback  when  I  put  my  arms  round  her  neck  and 
kissed  her.  Caretaker,  indeed!  She  was  home  and 
I  had  come  back  to  her  through  the  turmoil  and  the 
gathering  clouds  of  war.  She  was  safety.  She  was 
a  bit  of  England,  a  sturdy  faithful  bit,  valuable  and 
beloved. 

"Get  on  with  yo're  dressin',"  she  said.  "I'll  tak' 
oop  tea.  I've  got  a  chicken  for  yo're  dinner." 

"How  did  you  get  it?" 

"Knocked  'em  oop." 

"Is  Miss  Campbell  down?" 

"Naw." 

Tibbie  shut  the  door  behind  her  with  a  snap  and 
I  dressed  as  quickly  as  I  could.  I  had  nothing 
but  my  tweed  skirt  and  a  clean  white  blouse 
for  which  I  had  found  room  in  my  hand-bag,  but  I 
felt  clean  again  and  rested  when  I  went  downstairs. 
Quentin  got  up  to  meet  me.  I  held  out  my  hand 
to  him  and  he  kept  it  in  his.  At  first  he  did  not 
speak  so  I  spoke  lightly  because  his  silence  made  me 
feel  shy. 

"Miss  Campbell  is  staying  here,"  I  said.  "The 
Davids  are  at  Brighton." 

I  doubt  if  he  heard.  He  seemed  to  be  occupied 
with  his  own  thoughts. 

"They   say   that   Kitchener   is   going  to   ask   for 


IRON   COUSINS  309 

100,000  men,"  he  began  surprisingly.  I  had  not 
thought  much  about  the  war  since  I  got  home.  I 
looked  up  at  him  now  and  my  heart  gave  a  leap 
towards  him  and  answered  the  affection  in  his  eyes. 

"If  he  asks  for  them  he  must  have  them." 

"Yes,"  I  said. 

"I  shall  go." 

"Yes."  I  spoke  in  a  lower  voice  then,  but  there 
was  nothing  else  to  say. 

"Will  you  marry  me?    At  once  .  .  .  before  I  go?" 

"Yes." 

There  was  nothing  else  to  say. 


XLH 

"  T  'ACCUSE,"  she  screamed  on  the  top  notes  of 
her  voice.  "J'accuse»"  and  pointed  to  me, 
**  gibbering.  I  had  left  the  door  slightly  ajar, 
Miss  Campbell  had  come  down  unheard,  had  seen 
us  and  now  stood  on  the  threshold,  trembling  and 
stuttering  with  rage.  There  was  tragedy  in  her  bitter 
wrath  but  there  was  comedy  in  her  audience,  for  as 
she  stood  there  the  large  resplendent  figures  of  Mrs. 
David  and  Isabella  appeared  behind  her  and  passed 
by  her  as  smoothly  and  irresistibly  as  two  large  motor 
cars  would  pass  a  cursing  tramp.  It  took  some  time 
for  them  to  enfold  me  in  their  arms  as  warmly  and 
kiss  me  as  often  as  they  wished  to  do,  and  then  I 
introduced  Miss  Campbell  and  Quentin.  I  hoped  the 
advent  of  strangers  would  keep  Miss  Campbell  quiet 
and  assist  her  to  control  herself.  And  I  did  not  fore- 
see that  these  particular  strangers,  their  manner,  their 
clothes  and  their  racial  kinship  would  lash  her  into 
a  still  more  furious  rage. 

Mrs.  David  looked  the  same  as  ever,  big,  kind, 
clever,  amusing  and  opulent.  Even  on  an  August 
day,  without  furs  and  wearing  gloves  that  covered 
her  rings  she  managed  to  look  splendid.  So  did 
Isabella.  She  had  altered,  I  thought,  both  outwardly 
and  inwardly.  She  looked  at  peace  with  the  world, 
was  a  little  stouter,  and  as  well  dressed  as  her  mother. 


IRON   COUSINS  311 

"Your  servants  said  you  were  at  Brighton,"  began 
Miss  Campbell.  She  had  come  into  the  room  now 
and  taken  a  seat.  Tibbie  was  bringing  in  tea  and 
Quentin  was  hovering  round  the  tea  tray  ready  to 
take  round  the  cups  I  had  not  filled  yet 

Mrs.  David  had  rather  narrow  intelligent  eyes  that 
were  usually  full  of  kindness  and  good  humor,  but 
she  could  half  close  them  and  look  at  anyone  she 
disliked  in  a  withering  way.  She  turned  them  on 
Miss  Campbell  now  and  said: 

"Frau  Crefeld  has  written  to  me  about  you.  She 
believes  that  you  are  in  Paris  with  your  relations. 
Why  are  you  here?  She  says  that  she  provided  you 
with  money  for  your  journey  and  for  some  weeks 
after  you  arrival." 

I  started  a  little  at  that  and  looked  at  Miss  Camp- 
bell who  turned  as  red  as  a  boiled  beet  and  murmured 
something  about  having  her  own  reasons  and  knowing 
her  own  affairs. 

"We  were  in  Brighton  this  morning,"  said  Mrs. 
David,  turning  to  me,  "but  my  husband  wished  to 
be  at  home.  It  is  an  anxious  time  for  business  men. 
No  one  knows  what  will  happen.  When  we  got  back 
we  were  told  that  you  were  in  London  again,  so  Isa- 
bella and  I  came  off  at  once  to  see  you.  We  want 
you  to  come  to  us.  You  cannot  live  here  alone." 

Miss  Campbell  laughed  unpleasantly,  and  then  be- 
fore any  of  us  guessed  what  she  was  going  to  say 
she  started  on  a  tirade  that  began  with  invective  and 
ended  in  a  hysterical  gobble.  She  probably  hardly 
spoke  two  minutes  but  it  seemed  to  me  that  she  would 
go  on  forever. 

"J'accuse!"    she    began   again.     "J'accuse!      That 


312  IRON   COUSINS 

creature  has  stolen  my  lover.  She  is  a  Messalina,  a 
coquette.  We  understood  each  other  till  she  came 
and  snatched  him  from  me.  I  am  not  ashamed  to 
say  so  although  he  sits  there  .  .  .  it  is  he  who  should 
look  ashamed.  I  wish  him  joy  of  Caspar  Heiling's 
cast-off  .  .  ." 

"Stop!"  said  Quentin,  and  she  did  stop  for  the 
moment  with  that  catch  in  her  throat  that  is  neither 
a  sob  nor  a  laugh,  but  both  together  and  most  dis- 
agreeable. 

"Meschugge,"  said  Mrs.  David,  tapping  her  head 
significantly.  "Jacob  Cohen's  child.  So  ist  es." 

"Meschugge  yourself,"  cried  Miss  Campbell  vio- 
lently, all  the  Whitechapel  in  her  finding  sudden 
vent.  "Can  she  deny  it?  Can  she  deny  that  I  found 
Caspar  Heiling  with  her  at  ten  o'clock  at  night?" 

"But  I  don't  want  to  deny  it,"  I  said.  "He  had 
called." 

"Respectable  women  do  not  receive  visits  from 
young  men  of  his  reputation  at  ten  o'clock  at  night." 

"But  if  a  respectable  woman  is  in  a  flat  by  herself 
with  some  children  and  the  bell  rings  and  she  goes 
to  the  door  .  .  ."I  began  when  Quentin  stopped  me. 

"There  is  no  need  for  you  to  explain  what  hap- 
pened," he  said.  "I  have  heard  the  whole  story 
before." 

"So  have  I,"  said  Mrs.  David  unexpectedly.  "Frau 
Crefeld  told  me  about  it  in  her  letter  and  said  this 
woman  had  been  doing  her  best  to  slander  you.  That 
is  why  I  was  surprised  to  find  her  in  your  house 
as  your  guest.  She  also  told  me  .  .  ." 

She  hesitated.  She  looked  at  Quentin.  She 
touched  her  forehead  again. 


IRON   COUSINS  313 

"Meschugge,"  she  said  once  more,  but  this  time  she 
spoke  in  an  undertone  and  perhaps  Miss  Campbell  did 
not  hear  her.  She  stood  a  little  away  from  us  and 
seemed  to  crumple  as  a  child's  balloon  does  when  it 
is  pricked.  I  could  not  help  feeling  sorry  for  her. 
She  had  treated  me  badly,  but  I  had  everything  and 
she  had  nothing.  Even  her  evil  mind  had  not  done 
much  harm  to  anyone  except  herself. 

"I  shall  go  to  Paris,"  she  said  suddenly. 

"It  is  the  best  thing  you  can  do,"  said  Mrs.  David. 

"At  once." 

"By  to-night's  boat." 

"I  must  be  with  my  own  people  in  the  hour  of 
danger." 

"Certainly." 

"But  I  have  no  money  left.  Someone  must  lend 
me  money." 

There  was  very  nearly  an  unseemly  rush.  I  began 
to  speak,  Quentin  put  his  hand  in  his  pocket,  Mrs. 
David  said  money  should  be  provided. 

"Checks  are  no  use  to-day,"  Isabella  reminded  us. 
"But  I  have  enough  gold  at  home.  If  Miss  Campbell 
will  pack  her  things  and  come  back  with  me  .  .  ." 

"I  have  no  things.  They  have  all  been  stolen," 
said  Miss  Campbell,  but  she  went  out  of  the  room  to 
see  to  her  hold-all. 

"Frau  Crefeld  gave  her  thirty  pounds,"  said  Mrs. 
David. 

"Perhaps  she  had  debts,"  I  suggested.  "I  gave  her 
ten  for  her  journey." 

"I  bought  her  ticket,"  said  Quentin. 

"I  shall  buy  her  one  to  Paris  to-night,"  said  Isa- 
bella. 


3 i4  IRON   COUSINS 

"She  will  arrive  in  Paris  with  a  comfortable  little 
nest-egg,"  said  Mrs.  David.  "It  is  just  as  well.  She 
may  have  to  run  away  in  a  hurry  from  the  Boche. 
I  wish  her  no  harm  but  I  shall  be  glad  when  she  has 
gone." 

"So  shall  I,"  said  Quentin  squarely. 

"She  is  Jacob  Cohen's  daughter,"  said  Mrs.  David. 
"To  me  that  explains  a  great  deal.  I  knew  him.  He 
was  a  violent  Red  and  would  have  slit  the  throat  of 
everyone  in  what  he  called  the  bourgeoisie.  By  the 
bourgeoisie  he  meant  people  who  succeed  in  life.  He 
was  a  complete  failure.  Any  money  he  got  he 
squandered.  His  wife  died  in  a  garret  and  his  children 
were  often  starving.  That  terrible  temperament,  en- 
vious, vain,  arrogant,  this  woman  inherits." 

We  listened  in  silence,  trying  to  recover  from  the 
painful  impressions  of  the  recent  scene.  Isabella 
brought  us  away  from  it  by  asking  me  if  I  had  made 
up  my  mind  what  to  do.  I  looked  at  Quentin. 

"We  are  going  to  be  married,"  he  said. 

You  can  imagine  what  ensued.  Congratulations, 
questions,  embraces,  but  not  the  degree  of  surprise  I 
had  expected. 

"Frau  Crefeld  told  me  it  was  likely,"  said  Mrs. 
David.  "She  knew  that  I  was  deeply  attached  to  you. 
You  must  be  married  from  our  house." 

Isabella's  eyes  met  mine  with  understanding.  She 
knew  as  her  mother  did  not,  what  was  in  the  minds 
of  our  generation  in  this  hour  and  how  every  mar- 
riage for  years  to  come  would  be  celebrated  in  shadow 
and  in  sunshine  inextricably  mingled. 

"If  men  are  needed  Ernest  will  go,"  she  said  to  me 
in  a  low  voice, 


IRON   COUSINS  315 

Then  Miss  Campbell  reappeared  and  looked  more 
herself  than  she  had  done  for  some  time.  She  spoke 
to  Mrs.  David  first  and  intimated  that  she  was  ready 
and  anxious  to  shake  the  dust  of  London  off  her 
shoes. 

"I  never  felt  really  at  home  anywhere  except  in 
Paris,"  she  said.  "I  hope  I  shall  be  able  to  get  a 
wire  through  to  my  sister.  She  is  very  easily  upset 
and  if  I  arrived  suddenly  well  .  .  .  La  Joie  fait 
Peur." 

"I  think  you'll  have  to  risk  it,"  said  Mrs.  David, 
twinkling  at  me.  "You  can  send  a  wire  but  whether 
it  will  get  through  .  .  .  I've  not  had  Sally's  yet." 

Miss  Campbell  then  made  her  exit.  She  allowed 
Mrs.  David  and  Isabella  to  precede  her  downstairs, 
stood  for  a  moment  at  the  doorway  staring  at  Quentin 
and  me,  made  a  gesture — I  grieve  to  relate  as  if  she 
were  spitting  at  us,  said  Pfui  twice  in  a  clear  voice 
and  turned  her  back  on  us  forever.  Quentin  shut  the 
door  after  her,  opened  the  window  wider  and  watched 
the  car  depart. 

"What  a  horrible  experience !"  he  said. 

"For  me?" 

"For  you!  No.  For  me.  What  could  anything 
she  said  matter  to  you?" 

"But  Quentin  .  .  .  listen  ...  I  must  tell  you  .  .  . 
It  was  true.  She  did  find  Herr  Heiling  in  the  flat 
at  ten  o'clock  one  night.  He  ought  not  to  have  come 
at  that  hour  ...  but  he  did." 

Quentin  hardly  listened,  hardly  took  an  interest 

"You  never  cared  for  him,"  he  said. 

"I  thought  I  did  .  .  .  for  a  time." 

"Not  as  you  care  for  me !" 


316  IRON   COUSINS 

"How  do  you  know?" 

"I  do  know." 

We  stood  by  the  window  together,  happy  and  af 
peace.  In  the  high  road  beyond  the  Square  we  heard 
the  voices  of  the  paper  boys  and  the  rumble  of  traffic. 
The  future  hid  its  face  from  us  but  we  had  the  present 
hour  and  that  gave  us  our  heart's  desire. 

"We  will  be  married  very  quickly  and  quietly,"  said 
Quentin,  "not  from  anyone's  house  and  not  with  flags 
flying.  We  will  go  away  together  .  .  .  until  I  am 
called.  You  will  come,  Sally." 

I  said  I  would. 


THE   END. 


II II I  111  I II I II 

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